


Emperor Rising

by spirithorse



Category: Code Geass
Genre: 100 Themes Challenge, Alternate Universe, Implied and Assumed child marriage, Implied violence against a woman in a captive state, M/M, Physical violence within the confines of slavery, Racism to an equal content of the series (Code Geass), Slavery, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:49:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 38
Words: 135,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirithorse/pseuds/spirithorse
Summary: Suzaku is the son of the shogun, sent of to Britannia after the death of his father to continue the uneasy treaty between the two nations. Given to Prince Lelouch, a man who has every reason to hate him, he must survive the plots of the court, even those aimed against the prince himself. Because, for him to atone for the very reason he was sent to Britannia, he must be sure that Prince Lelouch remains alive. Based on the Captive Prince Series.





	1. Departed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [touchreceptors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/touchreceptors/gifts).



> Once again, the blame for this rests squarely on Charis’ shoulders. I’m also using the last 25 of the [100 Prompt Challenge](http://a-momentary-equilibrium-issue.tumblr.com/post/36447860096/100-theme-challenge). This was posted to tumblr but I’m compiling, doing another edit and putting the little snippets in order here for archival purposes and ease of rereading. I’ve played pretty fast and loose with geography and history in this fic by using real life places but arranging them in a fictional world.
> 
>  **Please pay attention to the warnings.** While I have removed some of the content that bugged people some of it I have kept. I will throw the warnings up again for the chapters that they specifically come into play with so people can skip them if they want to.

Suzaku looked up as the door slid open, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Kirihara and the six other men that made up his father’s council. He stood up from where he had been kneeling by his family shrine, resting his hand on the top of the piece of furniture. His thumb mapped out his family’s _kamon_ , Suzaku letting his fingers drift over the phoenix’s spread tail. He looked at all of them, slightly surprised to see Sumeragi Tsunenaga with them. He had thought that his uncle would have remained back at the mansion, especially since they were still entertaining Princess Nunnally.

He swallowed as he watched all of them, noting that none of them bowed to him. Suzaku glanced over their faces before pushing the thought aside. It was a private meeting under the strangest of circumstances. He turned to face all of them, his hand dropping from the top of the family shrine. “Lord Kirihara. Lords.”

That got them to incline their heads, Kirihara the one to step forward. The old man leaned heavily on his staff as he shuffled forward. Kirihara gave him a smile, coming to a stop a good distance from him. “I’ve gathered them as you asked, although I explained some of the situation considering that Lords Sumeragi and Sawazaki have been absent from the castle for the past few weeks. They weren’t aware of your father’s plans.”

Suzaku nodded, looking over at all of the men as he nodded slowly. “So you know?”

It was a relief when they all nodded back. Suzaku noticed that Lords Kubouin, Osakabe and Yoshino looked uneasy. He remembered that they had been the ones who had been the most vocal in disagreeing with his father. The three of them had lost all of their sons in the last war with Britannia and they weren’t eager to commit their resources, not that he blamed them.

Britannia was a lurking empire to their north, a danger that no country wanted to face. Where the empire had stood there had once been a variety of countries that other shoguns had used as buffer states. Back then, they had been able to ignore the countries on the other side of the mountains, but Britannia had ruined all plans of isolation. The two other powers had only managed to survive through bribery or treaties. Japan didn’t have the economy for whatever bribe that Britannia would demand and the shogunate would lose face. Considering all the trouble that they were having settling Aomori-ken back into their country, it would move a move that they couldn’t afford.

He licked his lips, trying to figure out something to say to the men who had spent their whole lives supporting his father. To them he was nothing more than the shogun’s son, the one who had spent most of his time with the soldiers. Suzaku couldn’t remember the last time he had sat with these men save for the last time he had looked in on Princess Nunnally with his uncle’s family. His throat went dry as he realized that he didn’t have a defense.

What he had done he had done out of anger because his father was stubborn. Because his father wouldn’t listen. Because his father hadn’t even looked at the princess since she had been taken from the battlefield. Because his father had been thinking about taking another wife when Suzaku still mourned for the loss of his mother.

He reached down to where his swords would have been, his fingers moving over nothing. Suzaku sucked in a quick breath, remembering that Kirihara had made him promise to keep them tucked away. The councilors hadn’t been brought to be intimidated but to have reason explained to them. That didn’t stop them from looking intimidated, especially considering that he had been reaching for his swords.

Suzaku ducked his head, wincing when he heard Lord Sawazaki scoff. “I thought you said that we were here to get an explanation for the enforced silence, not to be threatened for ours.”

“Calm yourself. He’s just surprised. I did tell him that it would take a while to gather all of you considering the circumstances.” Kirihara smiled, his fingers drumming against the top of his cane. “I worked a little faster than expected.”

Sawazaki scoffed but remained quiet. The other lords looked nervous, even his uncle. They shifted back so that they were away from him.

It was an exercise in self-control not to look down at his kimono. He had been allowed to change earlier so he was no longer bloodstained, but that didn’t stop him from feeling like his sleeves were still soaked with his father’s blood. Suzaku shivered and glanced back at the family shrine. His mother was the only one honored at the shrine at the moment, he hadn’t gotten to bring anything that belonged to his father. Kirihara had said that everything needed to remain in his father’s room so that things could be handled properly.

He glanced back at Kirihara, encouraged by the old man’s nod. “Lords, my father is dead and by my own hand. I don’t…I don’t apologize for what I did. I acted for the good of Japan.”

His uncle nodded and took a step forward, standing between Sawazaki and Munakata. “I trust that you did, but you’ll have to explain. We’ve only heard Kirihara’s side and seen the body, from afar. We’d prefer to hear it from you.”

“It was an argument between the two of us.” Suzaku paused for a moment, trying to keep himself calm. “He wanted to push for another war with Britannia because he was not sure of the last treaty. I said that we weren’t ready for that kind of war, not when the northern prefectures were still suffering. We went through all the reasons but he wouldn’t listen so, when it came to blows, I drew my sword in self-defense and killed him.”

It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was all they needed to know. They didn’t need to know that he could still feel the sting of his cheek where his father had slapped him like an underling or the way that Genbu had told him to fight like a man for once, that fighting mock battles and stealing women weren’t the proper actions of his son. They didn’t need to know that Suzaku had only drawn his sword because he had been scared that his father was going to kill him. Suzaku was sure that they wouldn’t believe that, not when they have served with Genbu for so long.

He looked around at the rest of them, relieved that most of the councilors were nodding along. Suzaku looked over at Kirihara, watching as the man turned to face the six of them. Kirihara leaned heavily on his cane, a calm look on his face. “It is just as I told you.”

“Indeed.” Lord Kubouin took a deep breath, Suzaku surprised to see the man so shaky. Then again, Kubouin spent most of his time in Mie-ken, the prefecture safely tucked away from all of the politics of Edo or the dangers of the border. The man had always seemed to be the most timid of his father’s council. Kubouin looked away from all of them, staring at the floor. “I think that it would be best to abide what Kirihara advised us before, considering that our position and the news that we had gotten.”

The other lords, save for Sumeragi, all started to nod. Suzaku looked at them in confusion because Kirihara had only promised that he would show the lords the scene of the crime and explain things, not make a decision.

“Lord Kirihara?”

The old man didn’t seem to hear him, Kirihara focused on the other lords. He straightened his back, moving slowly away from Suzaku’s side. “Then we have an accord.” Kirihara lifted his chin slightly. “Guards!”

The door slid open, Suzaku staring at the guards that trooped into the room. There were far too many and none of them were wearing the rising phoenix _kamon_ of the Kururugi family. He felt a lump form in his throat when he realized that they all had swords, some of them partially drawn.

He took a step back until he fetched up against the shrine, looking between the guards and the lords. None of the latter were looking at him, save for his uncle.

Sumeragi Tsunenaga stepped away from the others, standing firmly between Suzaku and the guards. “What is this treachery?”

“Trechery?” Kirihara laughed, the old man shaking his head. “Treachery was what happened nearly an hour ago. Treachery is when a father is killed by his son. What we are doing now is justice.” He tapped his cane against the ground, Suzaku watching as the guards snapped to attention. “Kururugi Suzaku is accused of drawing a weapon in the shogun’s presence and killing his father. He has been held in this room while we of the shogun’s council reviewed the evidence as it is and we have come to the following conclusion. Because of this, we condemn him.”

There were affirmative responses from the other lords. Suzaku stared at them in horror, finding that he was shaking his head. “No, I-”

“Take him.” Kirihara tapped his staff against the ground again, the guards starting to edge forward slowly.

Suzaku reached for the swords that he didn’t have, giving the room panicked glances. There was no way that he was going to make it to the door, not without impaling himself on the guards’ swords and certainly the lords wouldn’t let him free. He took a step to the side, holding out his hands. “You don’t need to do this. I would have gone willingly. I know what I did was a crime.”

Kirihara didn’t seem to hear, he was too busy talking in a low voice to the other lords. Suzaku felt his heart beat faster when he saw Lord Kubouin look up at him, but the glance was fleeting before he was drawn back into the conversation. Suzaku shook his head, looking for any other allies only to be shoved roughly to the side as his uncle stepped in front of him.

Sumeragi Tsunenaga drew his sword, keeping out arm out to protect Suzaku. “He is your shogun.”

“No. The house of Kururugi is dead.”

Suzaku felt a scream of disbelief try to work its way up his throat, but it was lost as the guards charged. They pushed up against the thin guard of his uncle, Suzaku feeling Tsunenaga buckle under the first thrusts into him, His uncle struggled against the numbers, alternately twisting to try and protect him, but he was overrun.

Suzaku stumbled backwards and into someone. He didn’t have the time to turn around and see who it was, Suzaku gasping as he felt them grab his shoulder. He lashed out with a fist only for it to get caught, more guards rushing forward as he struggled.

He froze at the press of a blade against his neck, Suzaku panting for breath as he looked back at the lords. None of them seemed concerned with the body of his uncle on the floor, nor by the fact that guards of an unknown house were holding him hostage. Suzaku swallowed and tried to meet one of their gazes, but they pointedly looked away from him.

Kirihara remained in front of the group, He was leaning heavily on his cane again, a look of amusement on his face. “Lords, the prefecture arrangements will be yours as promised. I believe that we have done justice this day.” Kirihara paused and looked back at Suzaku, the glance quick before he turned his attention back to the lords. “Munkata, do you believe that Britannia will be pleased with our offering? The men here and the shogun’s son for all of your sons?”

Lord Munkata hummed and stroked his beard before nodding. “I believe that they will welcome the chance to stop looking after them and addressing the new treaty points that you offered. Who should I make the offer in the name of?”

“Our shogun, Lord Sawazaki extends them as a gift.”

Sawazaki puffed himself up. The man took a couple of steps forward, studying the guards. He met Suzaku’s gaze, Suzaku still trying to understand what was going on.

He kept looking down at where his uncle was sprawled out on the ground, bleeding onto the wood, but all he could think about was the Sumeragi family. They would never hear about how Tsunenaga had died or why they would have fallen out of favor. Suzaku doubted that they would even know that they were in danger. Princess Nunnally was in danger.

Suzaku swallowed and tried to straighten his back, watching in horror as Sawazaki pulled out a collar. He pulled his head back as far as he was allowed, hissing when one of the guard grabbed his hair to hold his head in place. “Get away from me!”

“Why?” Sawazaki clasped the collar into place, Suzaku hearing it snap closed. “Kururugi Suzaku is dead.”

Suzaku felt the collar settle into place, the gold plated iron feeling too tight around his neck. It felt like he was being strangled, Suzaku panting for breath as he looked at the men who had betrayed him. They looked like they were done with him, they just hadn’t dismissed him from the room. They were too busy with their council, the six of them working out their new government.

It was only when Kirihara looked up that any of them seemed to realize that Suzaku was still in the room. Kirihara made a disgusted face before waving one hand lazily. “Osakabe, take care of the dead traitor. Burn him and make sure that you dispose of everything. He will not be sent back to his family, but make sure the announcement of what he did doesn’t get to the people. Munkata, take our gift to the Britannian ambassador, make sure they leave by morning. The rest of you, wait until your shogun summons you for his council, we’ll continue to work through this problem them.”

The lords split up with a nod, Suzaku looking at Munkata. As he expected, the lord didn’t acknowledge him. Munkata just waved at the guards and started down the hall. Suzaku was helpless to resist as he was hauled after the lord, the guards bearing him along.

The halls were completely empty, strange for the palace. Kirihara was probably behind it, he had probably planned the whole thing since Suzaku had come to ask him for help. The reasons why were completely over his head, Suzaku couldn’t think of anything but the blood that had been in his father’s study and on his sleeves. The blood of his uncle as it soaked into the floor. All of it had been his fault because he hadn’t thought, because he had acted like a child. It was right that he was being used to exchange for the prisoners from Itsukushima, but that still wasn’t enough for everything that he had done.

His father was dead by his hand. His uncle was dead because of his actions, as were Tsunenaga’s family and the princess. For all of that, he should be executed.

Suzaku hung his head, closing his eyes at the cold press of the collar against his skin.


	2. Hello

He had expected to be marched off with the rest of the soldiers that had been brought to Britannia with him. All of them had been taken around to the side of the courtyard to a tiny, windowless building. He had been following them until one of the guards from the ship had grabbed his arm and taken him through the confusing maze of corridors that made up the imperial palace and into his own room. It was small and had no decoration save for the three windows, but it was certainly better than what the others had gotten.

Suzaku didn’t completely feel sorry for them. They had betrayed their shogun, but he couldn’t blame them for their actions. It was obvious that the power had shifted and it was his fault. They might have deserved punishment, but not the complete removal from everything that they knew.

Suzaku gave the windows one last look before pacing out the confines of the room. He could almost reach the walls if he was willing to stretch out his arm and risk choking himself. Suzaku glanced down at the metal ring set into the floor and the chain that was attached to it. The chain had enough slack in it that he could move around freely, even to the point of touching where it was attached. Not that it mattered, his hands were shackled together. It would be impossible to get his hands under the ring and work the catch that would unhook the chain, not unless he found a way to undo the manacles.

He took a step back, watching the way the chain moved before giving up. The Britannians had been careful, he had room to move but nothing to free himself with. It was an accomplishment for an empire that proclaimed that it had moved beyond the great moral failings of the empire that it tried to emulate. Suzaku was sure that he had heard it all spouted my ambassadors at one point or another.

Britannia would rise like the mighty Romans; unhampered by a Senate that would not be checked, a pantheon of pagan gods that provided destruction and indifference and none of the moral failings that had rotted the older empire, like orgies and slavery.

Suzaku might have never agreed with Kirihara when the man had wished for the days when Japan had isolated itself from the rest of the world, but he could agree that the Britannians were hypocrites.

The Britannians might not have slaves, but they had the Numbers. They had the subjugated masses of any small country they had conquered, all relegated to a state that could have been slavery. But no one would admit it. Suzaku was sure that it sounded more impressive to say that the Numbers would eventually work their way to a better position than have them knowing that nothing would ever come from their struggles.

And then there was him.

Suzaku reached up to touch the collar around his neck. He had seen pictures of the Roman slaves on old vases that had been traded to Japan. They had been drawn small and bent over with cuffs and collars around their necks. Some of the more expensive ones had had the cuffs and collars painted yellow to further distinguish them. There was no question what Kirihara and the other intended him to be, but he couldn’t figure out why. His mind wasn’t suited to the quick political twists and turns, which left him at a loss.

He kicked the chain out of his way, ready to do another sweep of the room when the door creaked open. Suzaku turned to face who was coming in, all planned defiance gone when he recognized the man standing in the doorway.

Of all the people in Britannia, the eleventh prince was the last one that he wanted to see.

Suzaku squared his shoulders, trying to pull himself back from his shock. It didn’t matter who had walked into the room, or that it had been seven years since they had last seen each other. He crushed the small spark of fear that he felt as Lelouch looked him over. He didn’t like Lelouch having the advantage in the situation.

That Lelouch didn’t know who he was in his favor. When they had met each other before Itsukushima he had been in practically full armor and he’d been lingering behind his father and the other generals. Lelouch had been tucked away too, but he had been paying more attention to the negotiations before it had broken down.

Suzaku was sure that the news of his father’s death had reached Britannia and it would be logical to assume that he had died as well. Then again, everything he had heard about Prince Lelouch vi Britannia said that the prince had the same sharp mind as his half-brother, Schneizel. Certainly he would follow the gaps in the story to their logical conclusion. After all, Britannia didn’t take slaves, but they had taken him.

Lelouch stayed in the doorway for a moment longer before stepping into the room. The prince stuck close to the wall, Suzaku wanting to laugh at the sight.

This was the prince whose anger was legendary in songs and plays. This was the prince who eviscerate a man with words alone. This was the man who had spent seven years searching for his lost sister, never mind all the repercussions that Genbu had threatened him with if another one of his spies was found.

Suzaku shook his head, ready to ignore the prince when he saw Lelouch sway slightly. The prince muttered a curse and scrambled for a better hold on the wall. Lelouch leaned against the wall, both palms against the stone. Suzaku looked the prince up and down before shaking his head. _“You’re drunk.”_

Lelouch’s head jerk up, his eyes narrowing. _“And you’re a slave. Who has it worse I wonder?”_

Suzaku stared at Lelouch, surprised to hear his native tongue coming from the Britannian prince.

The look on his face must have been enough to crack Lelouch’s static mask, because the man laughed. _“Didn’t expect a barbarian to speak your language?”_ Lelouch gave him a disgusted look before switching back to Britannian. “But you must have done something incredibly awful or you wouldn’t be here.”

Suzaku was glad that the conversation had switched away from Japanese. At least with Britannian he had to pick out his words carefully, so there was less of a chance that he would slip up. He didn’t know what Lelouch would do if he knew who he was talking to, but he doubted that the prince would believe it. It would be suicide to tell the prince that he was the reason that Princess Nunnally had been conceded to Britannia as part of the treaty after Itsukushima. And that fact almost made it appealing.

Suzaku shifted in place, letting the thought sit as he watched the prince.

Lelouch didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy looking anywhere but at Suzaku. The prince spent far too much time looking back at the windows, studying the pieces of countryside that he could see out of them. Lelouch shifted slightly away from the wall, his gaze sliding over Suzaku a few more times before Lelouch seemed to realize that there wasn’t anything else in the room to look at.

The prince huffed and squared his shoulders. “So you’re part of the shipment of rebels we got from Japan. Traitors against your country.”

Suzaku couldn’t help but wince at the description, but he couldn’t deny that it was true. If he had done the right thing he wouldn’t have killed his father, and the soldiers wouldn’t have helped arrest him. Then again, they had worked during the strange interim between shoguns and Suzaku couldn’t blame them for what they had done. That didn’t make what the soldiers had done right. What he had done could never be right.

He clenched his jaw, staring at the stones over Lelouch’s shoulder. His silence was enough of an answer for the prince because he heard Lelouch chuckle. “So the rumors were true. Lord Kururugi was not as popular as he was claimed to be, good to know. Maybe I should have ignored his warnings.”

“That would have been stupid.”

“I don’t know, you must have heard that I’m clever.” The last word was delivered with a smile. The fact that Suzaku didn’t immediately respond must have made Lelouch grow bold because Lelouch took a step forward. “You obviously aren’t, because you got yourself caught. What happened?”

Suzaku leaned forward, just wanting to get Lelouch to back off more than he wanted to argue. It would be pointless to try, because Lelouch was right. He had done the honorable thing and expected an honorable response, not the fate that Kirihara had given to him. But he’d never had a reason to distrust the council. Then again, he’d never been around the council for long. As soon as he’d finished with his required lessons he had stayed out of the palace as much as possible. He hadn’t really known any of them.

He shifted in place, scanning Lelouch’s face as the prince started talking again. “So, you made a mistake, something big enough that they wanted you out of the country. Who wanted your estates?”

“Sawazaki.” The name slipped past him easily, Suzaku not realizing that he had spoken until he saw Lelouch nod.

“So, the shogun wanted what you had. No wonder you were sent away, and like this.” Lelouch reached up to tap his fingers against his own neck.

Suzaku mirrored the motion, tracing over the edge of the collar. His fingers bumped across the joint and peg that was in the front. Suzaku dug his fingernails into the small crack between the peg and its slot, but it wouldn’t give. It was as secure as it had been on the ship and on the short march from the harbor to Britannia. Suzaku dropped his hands away, hating the sharp clank of the metal on his wrists against the chain.

He rubbed his fingers together, trying to forget the cold feeling of metal even as he tried to figure out something to counter Lelouch. But there was nothing. He was tired and he wanted to sleep in a place where he could stretch out. On the other hand, he was just as afraid of sleep because he didn’t want to dream about what he had done and go over the events of that evening. He had already come to the only conclusion about what should have been done to him and he didn’t want to linger over it.

He looked back over at Lelouch as the prince drummed his fingers against the wall. “I think I’ve got it now. You’re a lord that they sent to us because you were a bother. You were stupid enough to kill their shogun and get caught. Now, one more question. Did you ever fight in the wars?”

Suzaku wanted to shake his head, but he was sure that he would slip up eventually. Itsukushima was an often repeated name on both sides of the border. He didn’t trust himself to watch his tongue that well, even with his cumbersome Britannian.

He took a deep breath before nodding. “Itsukushima.”

“I understand now. This is a punishment for you and for me. You get tossed here and relegated to less than a Number, and I get a reminder of the people who stole my sister.”

Suzaku shook his head, not quite understanding how Lelouch had gotten to that conclusion. That little motion was enough to get the prince to throw back his head in laughter.

“Oh, you are stupid. Why did you think you got that instead of being shoved in with the rest of your men? This is as much of a punishment for me as it is you. By the order of the emperor, you will be following me everywhere, whether I want you there or not.”

Lelouch turned on his heel and stormed away. Suzaku waited for the slight weave in Lelouch’s step, but Lelouch was surprisingly steady. He doubted that Lelouch was completely sober, but the conversation that they’d had was enough to start the process. Although, it had been more akin to an interrogation. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch had got more answers about the situation than he had.

He sighed and took a step back to where the rough pallet was on the floor. Suzaku stared down at it before dropping down on top of it. The pallet was surprisingly comfortable, but Suzaku knew why. Someone along the line had lied about who he was, not that it mattered. The Emperor of Britannia just wanted him alive to either remind Lelouch of the treaty or torment him. Suzaku didn’t think it mattered as much as the fact that he would be everywhere while wearing the collar. He might not know the political situation of Britannia, but he knew that he was be the object of gossip.

Itsukushima might have been seven years ago, but Suzaku was sure that the Britannians remembered it just as well as the Japanese. He would stand out among the courtiers for more than just his collar, but he was sure the collar was all they would see. There were many layers of political statement there, but Suzaku wasn’t sure enough of himself that he could unpack them all. Maybe he would the longer he stayed in Britannia, but he doubted that he would be allowed to remain for that long. Lelouch wasn’t going to approve of his presence and nor would most of the Britannian court. If they didn’t act than he would.

It was a matter of principle and pride. More than that, it was the matter of doing the right thing. He had just been trying to end a war, to save Japan from dangerous attempt at defeating Britannia, but he hadn’t managed even that.

Suzaku sighed and tipped over onto his back. He gave the door one glance before rolling over. At least he was looking towards the windows instead of the door. Suzaku was sure that he didn’t want to see another Britannian until he had to. Considering what Lelouch had told him, one would be in as soon as the emperor commanded it or Lelouch moved onto the next thing he had to do. Judging from the sun coming through the windows, he might be left alone for the night, but that was no guarantee. There might be a celebration and the emperor might decide to start both his and Lelouch’s punishment early.

He shivered and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to deal with the court, he didn’t want to have to deal with Lelouch again. Suzaku didn’t ever think that he’d be in the mood for the prince’s scathing regard. He curled his fingers towards his palms, digging his nails into his skin.

The anger didn’t last long, Suzaku relaxing as much as the tension in the chain would allow. So far, the bursts of anger had been the only thing that had kept him going. The moments in between were the worst, the ones when he felt the cowardice start to leak in. In those moments, he would think about just letting himself stay where he was and accepting those consequences. Surely accepting a life being dragged around by someone who utterly hated him would be just as good of a punishment as dying, but he doubted that.

That left him with only a few options. Suzaku doubted that he would be allowed to die under the emperor’s watch. The man wouldn’t let him go, not with what Lelouch had said. The emperor probably cared more about keeping Lelouch in his place than Suzaku. Which meant that he would have to rely on Lelouch to accomplish anything.

He made a face, disgusted with the option left to him. He wanted nothing more to do with the eleventh prince, but Lelouch was obviously the most volatile. It would be easy enough to push Lelouch beyond his limits. Once the prince snapped, maybe he would finally be able to atone for what he had done to his father.

Suzaku opened his eyes, staring at the stone that made up the imperial palace. It was nothing like home, which made his stomach twist. He wanted nothing more than to look at the familiar rice paper and wood walls instead of the dull stone that made up the Britannian palace. He wanted to be able to stretch out without the manacles digging into his wrists or the heavy weight of the collar around his neck.

He turned his face into the pillow that had thoughtfully be left on the pallet, breathing in the scent of freshly laundered linen even as he imagined that he was back in Japan.


	3. Windows

Suzaku stumbled as he was pulled down the hallway. He gritted his teeth and tried to get his feet under him again. He didn’t think that the two guards would bother to slow down if he asked. They were taking him to the prince and, from everything that Suzaku had heard about the eleventh prince, he wouldn’t wait for his slave to be brought along. Although, Suzaku couldn’t imagine what Lelouch would want with his slave, especially after he had spent weeks ignoring him.

That had left him plenty of time to think over what he had done and furiously go over what little he knew about Britannia. Suzaku couldn’t imagine why he had never bothered to look into the history of Britannia, but it had never seemed important enough. The only thing he had cared about was keeping Britannia out of Japan, and then preventing another war.

He swallowed and straightened up, trying to ignore the press of his collar against his throat. At least he had managed to do that, it was the two things that almost mitigated his shame. At least he had managed to save his country, although that didn’t help when he knew the body count that had come from his actions. It didn’t help when he faced Lelouch knowing that his actions had probably killed the prince’s sister.

Suzaku winced as he was jerked to a stop. One of the guards looked back, Suzaku sure that he saw pity on the guard’s face, but then it was back to the bored mask. The two of them seemed content to stand outside the doors for a while longer, leaving Suzaku plenty of time to look at the hallway that he was standing in.

He hadn’t been out in the imperial palace enough to memorize the hallways, they all looked the same to him with their opulence. The architecture was completely different from the mansions that he was used to, the shock making it hard to pick out where he was going. He kept looking for the usual cues, only to get them completely wrong. Suzaku shook his head, trying to mark where he was.

The stones under his feet revealed nothing, and the door he was standing in front of was decorated with climbing vines. Suzaku was sure that he could see a few birds and a lion in the mix. His gaze settled on a snake, tracing out where it was draped over the tree before he snapped his attention away. It was nothing more than another decorated door, which would tell him nothing, just like everything else in the palace.

He practically snarled under his breath, earning another yank of his chain. Suzaku glanced at the older guard, not liking the way that the man puffed out his chest, obviously pleased with how he had handled the situation. The guard’s gaze lingered on him, Suzaku glaring back just to see if the man would look away. The guard didn’t, but his partner knocked on the door.

The sound echoed in the hallway, Suzaku ducking his head a bit. He was used to echoes, it was all that he could hear from his room. All that he knew of the palace were from the rushing of the servants and what he could hear the guards saying. At least being chained in a room had given him a chance to work on his Britannian. His father had always insisted that he should learn multiple languages because Japan wouldn’t have the luxury of its isolation anymore. He had naïvely thought that his father had planned to open up the borders again for trade, not that Genbu would keep throwing Japan into war.

He dropped his gaze back to the floor at the thought of his father, waiting any anger that he had been trying to build up at the thought of having to deal with the eleventh prince. It didn’t come. There was just the cold certainty of what would happen to him.

He wouldn’t be welcomed back into his country, he was dead to all of them or held while the councilors figured out a way to give him a fake trial. Suzaku didn’t know which, Munkata hadn’t talked to him when he had been taken out to be delivered to the Britannians and the Britannians hadn’t seemed inclined to talk to him. The prince that he had been given to didn’t seem to be inclined to talk to him at all.

The doors swung open, Suzaku daring to look up at the sound. He expected something like the rumors that he had heard from Britannia. After all, everyone in Japan knew that they were a mixed up civilization, backwards and dangerous in their own rights but also still clinging to the dredges of an older empire, one that had celebrated slavery and warfare. Suzaku fully expected to be led into one of the old fighting arenas and made to fight to the death. Instead, the room was bright, Suzaku having to squint at the reflected light from the mirrors that were place between the windows.

It was more opulent that he had thought, especially considering the rooms that he had been held in and the rest of the imperial palace. He swallowed as he was shoved forwards, looking around anxiously. He didn’t dare relax, not until he was sure that he wouldn’t be sent to the fighting rings. He had heard the guards talking about the last match and their bets on the two brothers that had been fighting. There weren’t enough people in the room to be considered an audience, but Lelouch could have called for something private, something to punish the slave that had been pushed on him.

He hesitated at the door as long as he was allowed, grunting as the guard started to tug him forward. Suzaku gritted his teeth, rushing to keep up with the fast pace that the guard set. Suzaku didn’t get the chance to study the room as he was hauled to the front. He caught a glimpse of Lelouch before the guard shoved him to the floor.

Suzaku curled into a ball when he hit, staying on the ground for a moment. When he was sure that he wasn’t going to be beaten he lifted his head to meet the cold and indifferent gaze of the eleventh prince. It was nothing more than he expected. Suzaku swallowed and got up onto his knees, settling into the familiar kneeling position. He saw Lelouch’s eyebrow twitch up, not sure if it was amusement or annoyance. Suzaku didn't acknowledge the expression, remaining in place as he waited for something to happen.

He heard the jingle of the chain as it was connected to the floor, Suzaku eyeing the new iron ring that had been installed on the floor by the throne. He was surprised when he was given a good length of chain to wait on. He crushed the urge to reach up to where the chain was attached to the collar, curling his fingers into the trousers that he had been given.

“Your highness.” There was a dull thud as the guard saluted the prince before walking out.

Suzaku turned his head slightly to watch as the guard left, only shifting when the guard walked out. He swallowed as the doors slammed shut, leaving the younger guard standing on the inside. Suzaku eyed the guard, surprised to see that he was more distracted by one of the people in the room than with him. All of the other guards that he had seen had been studious about their attention to the prince. This one was the first that Suzaku had seen that didn’t seem to be on alert at all times. In fact, the guard wasn’t even paying attention to the prince.

He gave the guard one last glance before taking the opportunity to look around the room. It was a grand room, Suzaku tipping his head back to look at the ceiling. There was a fresco on it, Suzaku frowning at the woman in flowing robes reaching out for people in furs and rags. It looked like she was gathering them to her bosom. The fresco took up the entire ceiling, Suzaku shaking his head as he looked down at the walls. Compared to the ceiling, they were practically bare, save for the mirrors that were set at intervals along the walls. There were great, gauzy curtains that were pulled open to let in the sunlight, some of them moving in the breeze. Suzaku twisted to examine one of the mirrors, staring at the gilt frame to find some sort of pattern before he turned and looked at the people in the room.

For such a great room, there were only a few people in it. Suzaku doubted that Lelouch was holding an audience, everything that he had heard about the prince said that he was too far down the line of succession. People who wanted favors would go to his older half siblings because they would be able to grant them what they wished. Lelouch was just another spare waiting in his father’s court. Still, royalty always drew people so Suzaku had expected other lords and ladies, families that had supported Lelouch, not the seven other people in the room. To his surprise, all but one of them were women.

He resettled himself on his knees, looking at the other people in the room. Two blonds were bent close to each other, talking and laughing. The woman was dressed in an elaborate blue dress, the color making her stand out beside the man in white, gold and green. The two of them could have been siblings, although Suzaku doubted that siblings would have flirted so openly with each other. The guard seemed to be very interested in the two of them, especially the woman. Suzaku stared at the guard before quickly dismissing him. The guard was like all of the others, wearing light armor and a sword at his side.

Suzaku sighed and looked at the other woman, her red hair making her stand out. She was one of the quieter ones in the room, her hands moving over her green dress. Compared to the others, her dress was shabbier looking, like it was an attempt at matching the fashion. She didn’t look quite as ease as the others, but the blonds kept trying to draw her into the conversation. The longer the two talked, the more the red head responded, a smile starting to cross her face.

He turned his head to look at the other side of the room, surprised to see two women entwined on a couch. One looked surprisingly like Lelouch in her face and in the color of her eyes. The circlet around her head gave her identity away as one of Lelouch’s sisters, although Suzaku couldn’t place her nor could he place the woman that was lying practically on top of her. That woman wore her hair shorter than all the others and it was raggedly cut like she had gotten impatient with it. She was also the only woman in the room wearing trousers and a shirt instead of a dress, both looking worn. The woman kept giving him frightened glances and clinging to the princess. She made a strangled squeaking sound when she met his gaze, quickly turning away.

Suzaku expected a yank on the chain for frightening her, but nothing happened. He risked a glance back at Lelouch, not surprised to find that the prince was completely uninterested in what he was doing. Nothing had changed from the first time that he had met Lelouch, save for the fact that Lelouch wasn’t interrogating him, or maybe it was all an act for the moment. He huffed and turned his head away from the prince only to jerk back when he realized that there was a woman crouched in front of him.

The woman didn’t seem to notice his surprise, her head cocked to the side as she studied him. She wore the expensive clothes that most of the women in the room wore, so she was obviously a part of the upper class, but she wasn’t acting like it. She seemed interested in him while the other displayed the same cold indifference that Lelouch did. He scanned her face for any clues to who she was, another princess or one of the emperor’s consorts, but he got nothing. She looked more like the people who lived on the border than anything. He swallowed, leaning back when the woman reached out to touch him.

Her fingers brushed against his collar, Suzaku wincing. She didn’t seem to notice or care, because she laughed and drummed her nails against the metal. “Going back to the old ways, Lelouch.”

“No.” Suzaku recognized the annoyed tone of voice but, to his surprise, Lelouch didn’t move from the chair he was sitting in. “He’s a gift.”

The woman hummed, tugging at the collar before standing up. “He’s a stone around your neck.”

“C.C…” Lelouch growled out the name, but he didn’t get to say anything more.

“Don’t snap at her, especially when she’s right.” The princess piped up from her place on the couch. Suzaku watched as she sat up. The other woman immediately scooted to the end of the couch that was furthest away from him. Her companion didn’t seem to notice, she had stood up but wasn’t moving towards him. “This is wrong.”

“And do you think that I like it, Euphy? Do I think that I enjoy having my father order for him to tag along everywhere, a reminder of everything that he’s graciously allowed me to keep?”

Suzaku looked back in time to see Lelouch make a gesture at the room. His gaze followed the gesture, understanding arriving a moment later.

He had heard about the sycophants that had followed the other princes and princesses of Britannia, he had heard about the glory of the courts that each royal held and how they could rival the glory of the imperial court. But this wasn’t that glory, it was a group of seven people in a room, seven people and a slave.

He shifted on the floor, trying to piece the information together with what he had. Lelouch was in disfavor somehow and he had been thrown to the prince as an insult by his father. Suzaku gritted his teeth, hating the realization that he was coming to. He was just another pawn to be shoved around and he wouldn’t be able to do anything. If Lelouch didn’t want him around and the emperor kept ordering him brought, then his life would be nothing more than his small room and wherever he was being taken to torment Lelouch. And the prince’s good graces wouldn’t last forever. Although what Lelouch would do he couldn’t imagine because Lelouch had been told that he couldn’t get rid of him for reasons that Suzaku couldn’t understand.

He sighed and resettled himself, bowing his head. Considering that he would be at Lelouch’s mercy until the prince could get rid of him he might as well get comfortable and wait out whatever gathering that the prince was having.

Suzaku let the words flow over him, not bothering to try and figure them out. It was just inane talk or court talk, nothing that would help him. The only thing that could really help him was if one of the people was easily goaded into anger and had a sword or if the ban on hurting him was lifted. Suzaku doubted that either of those would happen, which left him kneeling at the side of Lelouch’s chair and listening to court gossip.

He felt a spark of anger that was quickly snuffed out. This was his punishment and he would just have to accept it. He could be angry at Lelouch, but not at his situation.

His shoulders slumped, Suzaku dropping his gaze to the floor. He stared at the cobbles before closing his eyes. He must have fallen asleep because he started awake out of a welcome blankness.

He startled partially to his feet, finding himself looking at Lelouch. He expected the look of hatred on the man’s face, but not the silence that followed. Surely the Britannians would have found him making a fool of himself amusing, but a quick glance showed that most of Lelouch’s friends looked displeased with what their prince had done. Suzaku filed that away for later as he dared to meet Lelouch’s gaze.

The prince didn’t seem to mind his defiance, Lelouch’s attention already on something else. The prince waved his hand lazily. “Make yourself useful. Help Rivalz with the food, your leash should reach.”

Suzaku stepped gratefully away from the prince’s chair, moving to the table in the center of the room. Sometime during his nap the guard must have left because the same young guard had stepped into the room bearing a tray of food. He eyed the man, not sure what to make of the smile that Rivalz gave him. The guard just nodded like everything was good and started over to the blond woman with a cup and a decanter.

He watched the guard go, any other observations cut short when there was a yank on the chain. He gasped and reached for his throat even as he turned.

Suzaku narrowed his eyes as he saw Lelouch holding the end of the chain. He was tempted to haul back on it. With the way that Lelouch was holding it, he was sure that some of the prince’s fingers would get caught. Then again, most of the prince’s friends looked horrified by his actions. It looked like his sister was about to get up to lecture him.

He hid a smile as he turned back around to gather the glasses. He would keep his head down if only to spite the prince for a little while longer. Maybe he could find someone who would be willing to loosen his bonds enough for him to finish what his father’s councilors hadn’t dared to do.


	4. Despond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reapplying a warning here for physical violence against a slave, mentions of child marriage and rape of a minor (both of which never happen), thoughts of suicide (pretty much in line with Suzaku in canon but the warning should be there).

The weeks had started to bleed together disconcertingly. The only thing he had a good handle on was the passing of the day, but that meant little to nothing when he spent his days being shuttled around to where he would annoy Prince Lelouch the most. Suzaku had gotten used to the routine of being awake long before any of the attendants came to take care of him. He had gotten used to the way that they would talk about him like he wasn’t there, dropping bits of gossip and comments about his status like he didn’t understand them. There were a few times that Suzaku wanted to snap back that he understood Britannian, but he just let it drop.

There was no point in baiting them, not when they were his main source of news. Of course, it was rarely important. There was the usual court gossip, filled with names that Suzaku didn’t know. Then there was the news that actually meant something to him, like how the third prince was sending back glowing news about how the talks with Europa were going, but everyone really knew that it didn’t take much.

The fractured kingdoms of Europa weren’t a threat to the stronger Britannia, and the Britannians talked about the kingdoms like the Romans that had conquered their country and sprung forth from the hills and stones of Britannia instead of a small and dying kingdom in the heart of Europa.

Suzaku let the gossip roll over him until the one day that something caught his interest. The emperor had left Pendragon.

Apparently, the emperor’s departure wasn’t too strange, Charles would often ride out to where the great imperial mausoleum crouched like a city of its own a day’s ride away from Pendragon. From the gossip he learned that he would spend the day there in and amongst the graves, lingering over his family and the consort that he still mourned.

Suzaku had heard the story of Consort Marianne in the first weeks of him coming there, it was hard not to hear about her even twelve years after her death. She was vilified as nothing more than a barbarian from the hill tribes, no matter that her family had lived in a town. She was nothing but a commoner, even with her skill in the saddle. The only way she could have attracted the emperor’s attention would have been with her magic. After all, there were plenty of eye witnesses to swear to the fact that her skin had been painted blue when she had been found dead, just like the hill tribes'. Suzaku had wanted to laugh at the strange rituals that Marianne had been said to do, but he didn’t dare. There were too many unknowns about the Britannian court.

After all, the emperor was said to spend three days by the mausoleum, two for moving through the grand complex and one in a strange cave where the courtiers swore that he worshipped the ancient gods. There were whispers that he was trying to bring Consort Marianne back or that she had led him to worship them with her magic.

Suzaku didn’t care, because the truth at the heart of the rumors were all that mattered. The emperor was gone, which meant that he would be left in his rooms. He would get a reprieve from the afternoons in crowded salons when Lelouch couldn’t avoid an invitation or the slow ones when Lelouch could convene his friends to talk. Suzaku would have almost been glad for the break, save that it would mean lying around in the small room afforded to him and waiting the three days for the emperor to come back.

He had already paced the confines of his room, counted out the tiles and carvings that marked the boundaries. Suzaku had stared out through all the windows, determining their directions and memorizing the landscape around them. None of them faced south or towards home no matter how long he stared, and Suzaku hated the way that it made him miss Japan.

Japan wasn’t his anymore, he had forfeited that right when he had killed his father, but that didn’t stop him from missing it. Nor did that stop him from wanting to go back. If he was to return, he wanted to face justice for what he had done, not thrown in manacles and a golden collar and presented as a gift. Being given to the Britannians wasn’t a punishment, it was a humiliation without end. It was the knowledge of exactly what should have happened to him and the agony of it never being carried out. He was too closely watched to be left a knife, probably on orders of the emperor.

For whatever reason, they wanted him alive.

Suzaku closed his eyes, trying to roll to a more comfortable position on the pallet that was left for him. It didn’t take long for the chain attached to his wrists to jerk to a stop. He hissed a curse out from between his teeth, lying in the awkward position with his wrists resting on one shoulder for a moment, then he wriggled around to lie on his other side.

The view from that side was less than pleasing, Suzaku staring at the door instead of the view north and out into the open grounds beyond Pendragon. At least the other way he could watch as the nobles went about their business instead of just waiting for his next meal or the next order to come in.

He opened his eyes, fully expecting to see the door shut, but it was open. He could remember hearing it open, but there was a chance that it had been hidden in the rattle of the chain or his curse. Suzaku planted his wrists and pushed himself up into a sitting position, carefully watching the two guards at the door.

One he couldn’t recognize but from the way that Rivalz interacted with him, the two knew each other. The guard must have only recently be put on duty watching him, there was no other reason that the guard would be looking at him with the strange mix of pity and horror.

The look was completely familiar to him, because the Britannians didn’t know how to deal with slaves. That was something that Romans had done, part of the fractured morality that had brought the empire tumbling down. The system with the Numbers was far better because there was always the chance for them to rise up, not that Suzaku had seen that. As long as they didn’t see any signs of bondage, the Britannians were fine with what they were doing.

Suzaku lifted his chin slightly, watching as the guard flinched away at the sight of the gold collar. The guard turned to look out into the hall, Suzaku seeing the young man’s hand tremble slightly. He wasn’t sure if it was in fear or because he didn’t like to look at such a strange sight. Suzaku didn’t care either way, the young man probably wouldn’t be the one speaking to him. Rivalz had been the one who had been around the most since he had come to Pendragon.

Rivalz was his usual cheerful self, the guard coming over to lean on the wall close to Suzaku. “How are you doing today?”

Suzaku raised an eyebrow, the answer enough to make Rivalz laugh. “Yeah, I know. You probably have other things that you want to do. But I can promise that you won’t have to listen to all of us chatter on.”

He tipped his head to the side, waiting for an explanation, but Rivalz didn’t give him one. The guard just knelt to undo the chain where attached to the clamp on the floor.

Suzaku waited until the chain was free before standing up, watching Rivalz for the same wariness that he saw in the other guards, but it never came. Rivalz took care with the chain because he didn’t want to jerk Suzaku around; it was caution out of care.

Rivalz gathered the chain in his hands, pausing where there was enough slack in the line. He jerked his head to the door. “Come on. We’re going to the usual place.”

Suzaku frowned but followed after Rivalz. He wasn’t about to waste the ease that Rivalz allowed him, not even when he was confused about why he was being summoned. The guard had said that the others that usually attended Lelouch’s miniature court wouldn’t be there, but the fact that he was being brought along meant that Lelouch would be. The prince had never wanted to speak to him alone, save for the first day he had been in the imperial palace. That along was enough to make him suspicious.

Even then it was hard to be suspicious when Rivalz was his usual self. It didn’t matter that the guard was usual perky, Suzaku assumed that Rivalz wouldn’t have gotten to his high position among the prince’s guard without having some skills. Lelouch didn’t seem to be the kind of prince to reward name and favor alone.

He found himself relaxing as the two guards led him down the familiar hallways. The route was one he was sure that he could walk in his sleep, not that Suzaku would want to seek out Lelouch for any reason. It was far easier just to stay in the small room he was allotted and avoid the prince completely.

Suzaku looked up from his contemplation of the floor when the guards slowed down. The younger guard skittered ahead to pull the doors open, Rivalz waiting for the huge doors to open to lead Suzaku in. As soon as they had stepped into the room, the guard was busy unhooking the other side of the chain from the cuffs that Suzaku wore.

As soon as the chain was gone, Suzaku let his arms drop to his sides. Without the chain, his wrists felt lighter. He swallowed, purposefully facing Rivalz until the man had turned and left the room.

Suzaku found himself leaning after Rivalz, hoping that the guard would stay in the room. The guard was the closest thing that he could call an ally in Britannia, even if it was only because the man would talk to him like he was a normal person.

He sighed and turned away from the door, easily finding Lelouch in the room. The prince was slouched in his chair, the lazy posture almost strange for the prince. Suzaku was used to the perfect prince, the one who was carefully held back, even among his friends. Now he almost looked like he had been drinking, although Suzaku wasn’t sure. His gaze lingered on the piece of paper that Lelouch had balled up in one hand before he looked back up at Lelouch.

The prince finally looked up at him, Suzaku seeing the corner of Lelouch’s twitch up in something that could have been amusement. Lelouch raised his arm and gestured for Suzaku to come forward. Suzaku’s first instinct was to ignore the silent order. Even in his relaxed pose, Lelouch radiated danger. Walking over to Lelouch would be akin to walking into battle unarmed.

Lelouch didn’t seem to be affronted by his hesitance. The prince shifted in his chair, beckoning again. Suzaku got the feeling that he wouldn’t be getting a third chance. He swayed in place, thinking over his very few options before walking forward.

The room had never felt like it lasted forever. For once the opulent room looked imposing, but his feet took him too quickly to the chair that Lelouch was sprawled on.

He expected to be motioned to kneel, but Lelouch let him stand and wait as the prince’s attention wandered away. This close to Lelouch he couldn’t smell any alcohol, which meant that all of it was planned to make him squirm, but Suzaku wouldn’t give Lelouch the pleasure. He would stand as long as Lelouch wanted to keep him standing.

He set his jaw and rocked into a comfortable position, aware that Lelouch was watching him the entire time. It wasn’t the bored glances that he had come to expect from Lelouch, but a complete focus of the prince’s attention. Suzaku was sure that there were people in the court who would have loved to be in his position, but they were stupid for wanting it. It was far better to stay out of the royals’ gaze then to invite their attention. That attention was dangerous.

Lelouch fingers twitched, Suzaku hearing a paper crumple. Suzaku’s gaze darted to the piece of paper before he moved it back to Lelouch’s face. By then, the prince seem to have made up his mind.

The prince leaned forward, Suzaku suddenly reminded of the way that a falcon would get ready to stoop. He sucked in a quick breath in, bracing himself even as the prince spoke.

“You said you were a soldier at Itsukushima with the rest of them.”

Suzaku couldn’t stop himself from looking over at the crumpled paper in Lelouch’s hands, his heart beating quickly. Lelouch could have found out who he held, the timing seemed right. He tensed, watching Lelouch carefully as he answered. “Yes.”

The truth fell easily from his mouth, but there was no harm in it. The entirety of the Japanese army had fought at Itsukushima, it wouldn’t be too hard to hide among the soldiers who fought there. Then again, it would be easy just to say his name and watch Lelouch react. Suzaku opened his mouth to speak, quickly shutting it when Lelouch nodded. The prince looked too satisfied with himself.

“I can see you were well rewarded for your service.” The sarcasm practically dripped from Lelouch’s voice.

Suzaku wanted to react, but he held himself still because he remembered Tohdoh and the other soldiers cheering his name. He remembered the rare smile that his father had given him and the more important touch to his shoulder. He remembered the celebrations that had come after the battle and the naïve belief that peace had been won.

Most of all, he remembered the feeling of his sword sliding into his father’s stomach.

Suzaku shook his head. “No.”

“Really? A pity. You look like would have been good at that sort of thing.” Lelouch leaned forward a fraction. “So maybe I’ve been asking you the wrong questions. Did you at any time see my sister?”

“Once.” Suzaku expected the lie to sting, but it didn’t.

Nor did Lelouch catch it. The prince drummed his fingers against the armrest of the chair, his careful calm stripping away. For a moment, it looked like Lelouch would shove himself out of the chair and start pacing, but he held himself still with a what looked like a lot of effort. “Where?”

“On the battlefield.”

“So you’re useless then.” Lelouch tossed the piece of paper at his feet. He motioned for Suzaku to pick it up when he didn’t immediately bend down to get it. “Go on.”

Suzaku bent over to grab the piece of paper. He carefully smoothed out the wrinkles, starting to puzzle his way through the uneven Britannian letters.

His father had insisted that he learn, along with the current dominant Chinese dialect and the stodgy old language that the European kingdoms used. He had learned them all because it was the only way he had been allowed to go out and train, but writing as easily as he spoke had always eluded him.

Suzaku ran his fingers over the paper one more time before applying himself to the cramped handwriting.

_‘Marriage to the princess already carried out. Princess is not seen in Edo for two months. Attempts to find her had yielded no new information. I owe you nothing else.’_

Suzaku felt his stomach twist. He had known that he had lost time with in Britannia, but two months felt like both too short and too long a time. And Nunnally had been married and disappeared in that time. Kirihara and the other had wasted no time in not only securing the treaty with Britannia but also the chance for a family line to be established. Suzaku didn’t know if any of them expected him to come back, he didn’t even know why they had sent him as a slave to Britannia in the first place, but it seemed like a good failsafe. They must have waiting the minimum appropriate mourning time and had had Sawazaki married on the first auspicious day named.

Now there was no way for the Britannians to back out of the treaty now that Genbu was dead. 

Suzaku folded the paper up, holding it loosely in his hand. “I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t expect you to. What could a common soldier know about politics. If you hadn’t backed the wrong side you would have probably be overjoyed. I know exactly what you think of people like Nunnally. If you don’t have a perfectly working body, you’re an embarrassment, right? As long as you can blend in with the rest of society you’re welcome, but the one thing that is different is scorned.”

Suzaku bit his lip to keep from snapping at Lelouch. The prince wasn’t raging at him specifically and nothing that he was saying was untrue. Nunnally had been welcomed into society for her position, but the Sumeragis had kept her out of the public eye because they didn’t want to be embarrassed by her inability to walk. Suzaku had heard people whispering about it, but he had ignored it because they were servants and didn’t matter and because it was the way things had been done. He had felt sorry for her, because the princess had seemed to be bored being kept in the Sumeragi’s mansion all the time and she seemed to be missing being able to go beyond the bounds of the mansion. Suzaku had tried, but his visits had always been too short.

His silence just seemed to spur Lelouch on. “Or would you have been annoyed either way? Not because she couldn’t walk but because she was Britannian?”

Suzaku shook his head. “I just served my lord.”

“And that got you honor and glory.” Lelouch pointed to the collar and manacles around his wrists. “Helping with the coup against Genbu Kururugi wasn’t your smartest move. Didn’t you know that Sawazaki would send you away? No loose ends.”

Suzaku flinched despite his best efforts, quickly looking away from Lelouch. He had figured that out on his own on the ship up to Britannia, he was a loose end being thrown away. But he hadn’t been able to figure out why, because he had committed a crime. He had drawn his sword in the presence of the shogun, had ran him through. He should have been taken care of more thoroughly, but humiliation had been more important.

He shifted in place, looking up in time to see the victorious look on the prince’s face. By looking away he had given Lelouch everything. He tried to school his face into blankness again, but it was too late.

Lelouch stood up from his chair, using the slight difference in their height to stare down at him. “You should have known better. Your first clue should have been when your previous shogun married a twelve year old girl.”

Suzaku couldn’t help his shocked reaction. He jerked backward, taking a few steps back before he could stop himself. It was a familiar argument that he had with his father for the seven years since Itsukushima. Genbu had always wanted to marry the princess as quickly as possible to secure the alliance, but he had delayed because of all the arguments that Suzaku and his councilors had been able to throw at him. Even when Nunnally had reached her majority, they had managed to keep Genbu turned away. Suzaku didn’t know if it had been because his councilors had turned him away or if he had gotten tired of the Nunnally argument. All he knew was that Nunnally had been unmarried when he had left Japan.

But that didn’t matter to Lelouch, because the prince was coming in for the kill. Lelouch stepped down towards him, the motion forcing Suzaku to take another step back. “But I bet you didn’t say anything about it. You just kept your mouth shut and continued to do your job. I bet you pretended to not acknowledge the fact that your shogun was raping my sister for seven years.”

Suzaku shook his head, revolted by what Lelouch was saying. His father had been a gruff man, but he could never imagine Genbu doing that. He wouldn’t have let it happen.

He clenched his hands into fists and took a quick step forward. There was flash of surprise on Lelouch’s face, that enough to encourage him to push forward. “Kururugi Genbu would never stoop that low.”

Lelouch laughed, his gaze never leaving Suzaku’s. “How would you know? I doubt that he would spread that information around. Could you imagine what the rest of the populace would say?”

There was a hint of something in Lelouch’s voice, but he didn’t have the time to pick it out. He was tired of Lelouch’s games and insults. “She was a princess given to us by a treaty.”

“She was stolen!” Lelouch’s voice rose, the sound of it echoing around the room. “The shogun’s son rode out from the battle and took her from the noncombatants!”

“She was promised!”

“You rejected that treaty when you killed Clovis! The only reason you got to keep her was that my father needed some way to secure the treaty.”

“That’s what royals do!”

“She had no choice! She was never given a choice! People looked at her and decided that she was useless! Our own father didn’t give a damn about what happened to her just as long as he got some use out of her!” There was too much truth in that, but Lelouch seemed to be too far gone to see that. Suzaku licked his lips, ready to poke at the sore spot when Lelouch beat him to the mark. “I think you can understand that, because your people used her the same way!”

Suzaku bristled at that, taking more steps forward until he was standing toe to toe with Lelouch. “We know how to treat guests to our country.”

“It’s not my fault you’re a slave, you did that to yourself.”

“And it’s not my fault that Nunnally was married to the shogun.”

Lelouch went still, the prince staring at him with wide eyes. Suzaku was surprised by the sudden pause. He was used to Lelouch pushing forward until the other person had no point but to concede or retreat. He had seen Lelouch it many times in the daily court, but then Lelouch had done it with a smile that could easily be laughed off as a joke. This wasn’t the careful poking and picking of the court days. Lelouch had wanted to see him react, wanted to see him hurt.

The prince recovered quickly, faster than Suzaku could figure out what exactly had set him off. Lelouch drew himself up, his whole body shaking. “You don’t have permission to say her name. I order you not to.”

Suzaku opened his mouth, quickly snapping it shut. It was almost automatic to respond to the order, but some part of him hated it. Lelouch had no power over him, he was only a slave as long as he allowed it. And it was tempting, because then he couldn’t be the same man who had killed his father. There were plenty of things he could pretend to be. It would be so easy to just nod and let Lelouch rage at him until the prince got tired of him and sent him away, but he’d had enough.

He’d been dragged from the small room for two months to attend to the prince. He had spent two months listening to casual insults and being treated like he was one of the Numbers that darted through the corridors of the castle. He had spent countless hours lying in the room, thinking about what he had done and hating himself for his cowardice. If he had been any less of a coward, he would have done something to hold himself to the law. He wouldn’t have let two months go by.

If he was any less of a coward, he wouldn’t let Lelouch insult his family.

Suzaku tipped his chin up slightly, watching Lelouch’s eyes widen at his daring. The prince was probably used to Numbers who would duck away or nobles who were ready to fall at his feet to get his favor. Lelouch had probably never experienced resistance in his life.

He held Lelouch’s gazes for a moment before speaking a single word. “Nunnally.”

The prince jerked like he had been stabbed. Lelouch’s mouth fell open slightly, the prince looking like he wanted to stab him or rip him apart with his bare hands.

In the end, he did neither. Lelouch stepped around him, storming over towards the door even as he bellowed at the top of his lungs. “Rivalz!”

The doors flew open, Rivalz charging into the room with his sword already drawn. He scanned the room, Suzaku watching the familiar check for danger before Rivalz focused on the prince again. When he did, he looked uneasy. Rivalz tipped forward slightly in a bow. “Your highness?”

“Put the chain back on the slave, and make sure that it’s short.”

Rivalz scrambled to obey the order, He shoved his sword back into his scabbard as he strode over to Suzaku. Rivalz secured the chain on the manacles before he turned to look at Lelouch. “What’s happened?”

Lelouch didn’t bother to answer Rivalz’s question, his attention was already on the young guard still standing at the door. “Accompany us down to the courtyard, and stay close to the slave.”

The young man didn’t question Lelouch’s order. He practically ran across the room to grab Suzaku’s shoulder. Suzaku was sure that he saw a look of glee on the man’s face before he was shoved forward. Suzaku stumbled on the first step, but he didn’t have the time to recover himself. The guard kept pushing him forward, Suzaku trying to keep on his feet with Rivalz dragging behind him.

The two guards managed to coordinate their efforts as they got out into the hall. Rivalz curtailed the younger guard’s enthusiasm. He took his place by Suzaku’s other shoulder, a hand on Suzaku’s shoulder and the chain still loose.

Suzaku didn’t bother to thank Rivalz for the bit of kindness, he didn’t think that it would mean much in the end. He kept his gaze glued to Lelouch’s shoulders, watching them instead of the route through the castle. He didn’t want to see the opulence of the imperial palace or the Numbers that would be watching the four of them. He was sure that Lelouch expected him to be humiliated, but Suzaku had already sunk below his lowest point. There was nothing more to do but keep his head high and walk.

He squinted as he stepped out into the sunlight, Suzaku getting the first good look at the courtyard of the castle since the first time he had been brought in. Back then, he had been surrounded by the same men who had captured him with his father’s council had betrayed him. Now he was surrounded by Britannians, two of which didn’t give a damn if he lived or died.

Suzaku allowed himself to be guided over to the barracks that were tucked up against the walls. He eyed the stone structures, pushing back the urge to count the soldiers. It didn’t matter, it was the center of the empire and there were bound to be more guards with the royals in residence. As it was, there were plenty of guards walking around the walls. Some of them were looking down, Suzaku sure that he saw a few nudging each other at the procession. He didn’t know what had happened to the other men who had come with him, but he was sure that he was immediately recognizable; the gold collar gave him away just as much as his presence behind Lelouch.

He turned his gaze away from the walls, looking back at the barracks. There were guards already scrambling back to the barracks, probably spreading the news that the eleventh prince was coming to visit them. Suzaku watched them run, slowing down when he saw the post hammered into the ground outside the barracks. He slowed his pace to stare at it, looking at the metal ring that was fixed to the post close to the top. Parts of the wood seemed stained darker than the others, Suzaku repressing a shudder.

He was distracted from the post when he heard Lelouch shout.

“Where is Kewel?”

The name was shouted through the small buildings, a variety of titles applied to it. It didn’t take long for the man to follow, Suzaku eyeing the young man in a markedly more expensive version of the guard’s uniform. The man barely glanced back at him, his full attention on the prince.

Kewel bowed. “Your highness.”

The prince acknowledged him with a slight tip of his head. “I heard that you were the one given the…gift from Japan.”

Kewel scowled, but nodded. “I was.”

Suzaku tensed at the word choice. He had no attachment to the men who had helped Kirihara and the others, but there was no reason to wish any harm to him. He looked around, almost expecting to see bodies hanging off the sides of the walls. Suzaku glanced around, before focusing on Kewel again.

The man shifted slightly in place, never falling out of his careful parade rest. “They were in my care before they were sent off on the emperor’s orders.” Kewel paused for a moment before lowering his gaze. “They were troublesome.”

“I’m not surprised.” Lelouch almost smiled at that, Suzaku glancing between the prince and Kewel. He didn’t get the chance to work out what was going on before Lelouch motioned to the two guards. The young guard was quick to shove him forward, but Rivalz went with him, still hovering nervously by his shoulder. Lelouch didn’t seem to notice, his gaze was now on the post pounded into the yard. “I’ve been having problems with mine. What do you suggest?”

“We flog the Numbers when they start to misbehave.”

“Perfect. Rivalz.”

Suzaku turned his head to look at the guard, sure that Rivalz’s shocked look mirrored his. Rivalz closed his hands around the chain, making the whole thing rattle. The guard’s gaze darted from Suzaku to the post before shaking his head and backing away. “I don’t think-”

Lelouch stormed over, snatching the chain from Rivalz’s hand. He gave the chain a tug, Suzaku rocking forward with the resistance. It would be so easy to step back and away from the pressure. It wouldn’t take much to pull the chain out of Lelouch’s hand and run. There would be nowhere he could go, but running away wasn’t the point. Certainly his collar and the fact that he would have to shove his way past Rivalz and the other guard would be enough. Lelouch was angry enough to order the guards to kill him on sight, he would be a threat after all. Suzaku leaned back against the pull of the chain, finally stumbling forward as the younger guard shoved him from behind.

Suzaku turned to look at the young guard, surprised by his boldness. By the time that he looked back at the prince, Lelouch had passed the chain off to Kewel and the man was reeling him in. Suzaku let it happen, glaring at the man who had been in charge of disposing of the other soldiers who had been brought in with him.

Kewel didn’t look impressed or intimidated, the man just looked annoyed by Suzaku’s presence. Kewel shook his head and hauled Suzaku to the post, easily looping and securing the chain to the metal circle. The efficient motion tugged Suzaku’s hands above his head. Kewel tugged the chain one it was in place, Suzaku wincing as it tugged on his arms. Kewel seemed to deem his wince a sign that things were secure because he stepped back.

Suzaku turned his head slightly to glare at the man, not surprised that Kewel was already done with him. The man was already waving the small gathering of soldiers off duty closer. One guard was bold enough to rush up and tear his shirt off, Suzaku turning at the sound. The guard skipped back from him, waving a piece of torn cloth like a trophy. Suzaku narrowed his eyes at the guard before turning away. He wasn’t going to acknowledge their games, not when there was something bigger on his mind.

He shifted the best he could, rocking up against the post so he could take some of the weight off of his arms as he stared at Lelouch. The prince was holding himself back from the whole affair, like it was beneath him. Suzaku huffed and rested the side of his head against the post. He was used to the aloof Lelouch, but it was interesting to see the spark of anything but boredom even if it was anger. Suzaku couldn’t help but grin at that. He hadn’t managed to do much, but he had managed to make Lelouch angry. The prince deserved that much for the insults he had spouted against Japan and his family.

Suzaku shook his head, carefully speaking in Japanese. _“Stupid Britannian prince.”_

Lelouch flinched like Suzaku had hit him, but Suzaku didn’t care about that small victory, he had won the larger one. If Lelouch was as smart as everyone bragged about, then he would have realized that he had lost. He had lost the moment he had pulled Suzaku from the palace. He turned to rest his forehead against the post, nothing bothering to hide his smile when he heard Lelouch suck in a quick breath.

“You have my permission to begin Kewel.”

Suzaku heard the man chuckle behind his back and the soft slighter of something being shaken out. He sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

He’d seen floggings rarely in Japan. Tohdoh had controlled the army neatly and without much need for physical punishment. The soldiers Suzaku had seen beaten had always been under another lord, a man who was too far removed from the soldiers that he commanded. Apparently Britannia suffered from the same problems if they had a post so prominently displayed and ready.

He was tempted to look back and check what Kewel was doing, but he didn’t want to look nervous. He hadn’t guessed a beating when he had pushed Lelouch, but he had been hoping for something more than shouting and being exiled to his room until the emperor had decided to return to Pendragon.

He let out his breath slowly, trying to relax himself in preparation for the first strike. Suzaku couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t scream, but he would try to hold it in as long as possible. He wouldn’t give Lelouch the gratification.

The prince must have made an impatient motion because he heard the man shift behind him. Suzaku got the chance to suck in a quick breath before the lash fell on him.

The crack of the whip and the flash of pain came back to back. Suzaku’s whole body jerked with the first hit, the breath knocked out of him by it. He curled pressed his fingertips against the wood of the post, using the touch to steady himself as he waited for the next blow to fall.

Suzaku quickly lost count of the strokes. All he knew was that Kewel kept up a steady pattern, Suzaku taking what time he had to try and catch his breath. It got harder the longer the flogging went on, Suzaku eventually giving up and taking deep, gasping breaths when he could.

His entire back felt like it was on fire, one that spiked higher with every stroke. The hitching breaths that he managed to catch didn’t make the pain any better, not when every movement made his back burn like the whip had hit him again.

Another pause came, Suzaku almost ready for the next blow to fall when he realized the next one wasn’t coming. He let out what little air that he had managed to gather, shifting carefully. He uncurled his fingers, hooking them into the chain. It didn’t help him haul his weight up, but he had nowhere to go. His legs were shaking violently enough that Suzaku was sure that he would have fallen down if he hadn’t been suspended by his arms. Then again, he didn’t trust his arms either. Suzaku wasn’t sure if they were shaking or not, but the entire world was a bit blurry around the edges.

Suzaku muttered a curse under his breath and pressed his forehead against the post. What he wanted to do was take deep breaths until the shaking stopped, but he was sure that it would just hurt more. Even worse, Lelouch was probably watching his every move, watching for the first sign of surrender. He gritted his teeth and pulled himself up slightly, trying to get his feet under him again.

He managed to scramble at the ground for a bit before he gave up. It was easier to just hang from his wrists and let the world just go fuzzy around the edges.

“Is that all?” The question cut through the pain, Suzaku lifting his head to look at Lelouch.

It was a bit of a victory to see that Lelouch looked shaken. The prince had probably never seen someone get flogged. Suzaku doubted that Lelouch had seen anything outside of the imperial palace. Even if he had been at Itsukushima, Lelouch wouldn’t have been on the front lines. He would have been hiding in the back, probably complaining about the strategy that Clovis had used.

Suzaku flinched at the sound of the whip as it moved over the floor, Kewel probably coiling it up again. He couldn’t help the shudder that ran through him, Suzaku unprepared for the whimper of pain that he barely cut off.

He glanced up in time to see Lelouch stare at him. It took more effort than it should have for him to raise his gaze to meet Lelouch’s but, when he did, the prince’s look of shock disappeared. Lelouch stared at him for a moment before looking back at Kewel. “And that’s the normal treatment for a Number?”

“Fifty lashes, every time.”

Lelouch made a vague noise, Suzaku unsure if it was in agreement or not. In the end, he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned it was only a job half done.

It was highly unlikely that he would ever get back to Japan, and he was not willing to wait out another two months doing the same thing. He was sick of Britannia, sick of the waiting and sick of having to listen to the inane conversations that went on in court and among Lelouch’s friends. He was tired of the long nights when he would be left with nothing but his thoughts and especially tired of reliving the mistake of killing his father.

There had been other ways, he was sure of that. Two months had been plenty of time to think up other solutions and wish that he had done any of those. He was tired of being in a place when he couldn’t do anything to make up for what he had done.

He curled his fingers more firmly around the chain, hauling himself up a few more inches so he could meet Lelouch’s gaze again. Suzaku didn’t know why he was so closely watched, because he doubted that he was more than an awkwardly placed Number for them. He was sure that the Britannians would be more than happy to get rid of another Number, and Lelouch would be glad to rid himself of a constant annoyance and a reminder of what had happened to his sister.

Suzaku tried to look his more defiant, not sure how effective he was considering that he could barely think beyond the pain in his back and the escape he was offered. He took in a deep breath, ignoring the pain. He opened his mouth like he was going to speak, sure that he didn’t actually have the breath for words. But the threat of it was enough for Lelouch.

The prince recoiled slightly, the look of anger and disgust crossing his face again. Lelouch narrowed his eyes, not looking away from him. “He’s not a Number. We’ll have to make an exception. Fifty more.”

Someone made a noise of protest, but Suzaku didn’t bother to figure out who, he was too busy carefully uncurling his fingers from the chain. He turned his head to press his forehead back against the post.

Kewel didn’t hesitate, Suzaku hearing the sound of the whip dropping just before it lashed out again. He didn’t get the chance to brace himself for the first impact, the breath knocking out of him. It was only because he was struggling to get another breath that he didn’t scream on the first few lashes, but then he managed it and he didn’t bother to keep quiet.

And then, there was nothing but welcome darkness.


	5. Dreaming

Everything was dark, but it wasn’t the right kind of dark. Suzaku could still feel flashes of pain through it all. It was like during his first few weeks of training with the army. He had gotten too excited and had spurred his horse right into the middle of the conflict only to have his horse plowed out from under him by an older samurai. Suzaku had never gotten to the chance to figure out if it had been an accident or on purpose because the man had apologized for any harm caused during the battle, which had soothed his father and his top generals. But the darkness had been the same, without a knowledge of time but a knowledge of his pain every once and a while.

He got glimpses of things during the time that had passed; the courtyard where Lelouch had ordered him beaten close to his death, a clean and almost featureless room and his old familiar room, the latter many times over. Sometimes, he could make out voices through the mists of his pain. The first set had sounded concerned but professional but the others were almost familiar. Suzaku hadn’t been able to place them, but they had sounded angry and he was sure he had heard Lelouch. But that didn’t make sense, because the prince had no reason to hover around him.

Lelouch wanted him dead for all the imagined horrors that his sister was subjected to and for all of his rage against Japan and the man that had carried off his sister. Suzaku was almost awed by that rage considering that Lelouch didn’t know who he was. If he had dared to tell Lelouch who he was then he would have been dead by now and he couldn’t help but regret his cowardice. Some instinct was still encouraging him to keep himself alive and he hated himself for being so weak.

He should have died when he had first killed his father, but he had been denied that. He should have died when Lelouch was freed of all constraints and finally turned on him with all of his anger. But he was still alive, and it grated for the few moments that he was conscious enough to think over it. Unfortunately, less and less of his time was spent under the welcome darkness. At least in the darkness, he could believe that he had finally paid the right price for his selfish actions.

A thunderous serious of knocks startled him out of the blessed darkness, Suzaku attempting to scramble to his feet before he was really awake. Suzaku gasped at the pain in his back, his arms trembling before they gave out completely. He grunted as he fell back to the bed, pressing his face against the pillow as he panted for breath. He could feel wetness on his face as tears slipped out from his eyes, but he gritted his teeth so he didn’t make a sound.

The touch to his back was just as unexpected as the knock, Suzaku jerking automatically. He bit out a curse, curling his fingers into the sheets of the bed. The hand didn’t leave his arm, but it didn’t stray up to his back and the wounds there. Suzaku was grateful for that, but he couldn’t bring himself to relax, almost expecting to hear the command for the beating to continue.

The hand squeezed his arm, probably trying to calm him even as the person sat on the edge of the bed. The mattress sagged their way just as another set of knocks sounded. The person flinched at the same time as he did, their hold tightening even as he whimpered in pain. The person didn’t seem to notice; they turned towards the door and shouted. “Lloyd!”

Suzaku heard the sound of someone running for the door. He lifted his head from the pillow, turning his head to look at the door. His vision blurred with the pain, Suzaku breathing through it until it cleared. By then the man by the door pulled it open, revealing two guards standing there. Suzaku tried to see who was on guard duty when someone in white stepped in front of them. He lifted his head slightly to get a better look when the person sitting next to him stood.

His vision was filled with an orange jacket. Suzaku stared at it, trying to resolve the shape of the woman with the voice he had heard and the vague shapes that he remembered from his short bursts of consciousness. He couldn’t quite place her, but he doubted that it mattered. The only people who had been attending him had to be physicians, so people that he wouldn’t know.

He swallowed and attempted to lever himself up again, only getting as far as his elbows before the pain became too much. He dropped his head down, sucking in quick breaths between his gritted teeth as he tried to calm himself. There were only a few people that were allowed in his room and the man in white hadn’t been a guard. It was most likely that Lelouch had come to visit, probably to check if his slave had died yet. Lelouch would end up disappointed, although Suzaku wasn’t sure which one of them would end up being more disappointed.

Suzaku curled his fingers into the sheets, intending to haul himself forward when the woman in front of him dipped into a bow. “Prince Schneizel.”

He turned his head to stare at the man who stood in the room. Suzaku’s eyes widened at the sight of the third prince, surprised that Schneizel was even in Pendragon. From everything he had heard, the prince had been busy in Europa, talking with the countries there. There had been whispers about what the scattered kingdoms of Europa were doing and about the union that they had been threatening to hold against Britannia, but nothing more. All he knew was that Schneizel had never come back to Pendragon while he had been there, and that it would take something major to bring the prince rushing back. Suzaku was sure that he wasn’t important enough, not while he was just Z01, a gift from Japan.

Schneizel looked around the room, the disgust clear on his face for a moment before it fell into the usual Britannian indifference. The prince looked around the room. Schneizel nodding at the woman in orange and the man in white that was standing closer to the door. “Cecile and Lloyd, it’s lovely to see you again. I’m surprised you were convinced to leave your forge.”

Lloyd gave a lopsided shrugged. “It was a royal command.”

“You have been known to ignore those.”

“Cecile insisted.” Lloyd seemed amused by that. “That’s not something I can resist, at least for the safety of my work.”

Schneizel hummed, walking closer with his hands behind his back. “And what work is this?”

It took all Suzaku had not to flinch away. His back felt like it was on fire and he doubted that he would fare well with too much movement. Besides, his balance was already shaky and rolling onto his back was a fate that he didn’t want to imagine. His back felt like it was completely raw.

He swallowed as the third prince loomed over him, Schneizel looking over him. He saw Schneizel’s upper lip curl slightly, the prince calming himself before he looked at Cecile.

That switch of attention was enough to encourage her to talk. Cecile bowed again, the woman taking a step back. “We were ordered to keep this one alive.”

“Ordered by who? And for that matter, who is behind this?”

“But the emperor himself.” Cecile paused, exchanging a noticeable glance with Lloyd before he straightened up. “And Prince Lelouch was responsible for this.”

“Why?” Suzaku was surprised to hear some rage in Schneizel’s voice, but the prince hid the emotion from his face well.

Cecile seemed to think the same because she sucked in a quick breath but continued on with her report. “Your brother’s reasons are his own. The most I was told was that the slave had misbehaved himself.”

Schneizel sighed, reaching up to rub his forehead. The motion quickly turned into one of dismissal, Cecile shuffling out of the way. The woman didn’t leave the room, but she retreated to where Lloyd was waiting at the door. Her retreat left a space that Schneizel moved into, Suzaku trying to resist the urge to curl in on himself.

By all technicality, he had been of a higher rank that Schneizel once. After all, Schneizel was the third prince of Britannia, but the man was older than him and his own rank meant nothing now that Sawazaki was shogun. Besides, it was embarrassing to be laid bare the way it was, with his back exposed and unable to move.

Suzaku swallowed and tipped his chin back, expecting some kind of backhanded comment like everyone else had granted him. Instead, he saw something that looked like sympathy as Schneizel leaned forward.

The third prince examined his back for a long moment before shaking his head. “What a way to treat a gift, not that I approve of such a thing.” Schneizel’s gaze lingered on the collar around Suzaku’s neck before the prince straightened up again. “What did you do?”

He stopped himself before he could shrug, Suzaku taking a deep breath. He held it for a moment before letting it out, the breath shaking when that made his healing back ache. “I said the princess’ name.”

He didn’t need to specify which one. Schneizel’s eyebrows rose all the same. “That was stupid of you.”

Suzaku had known that, but that was why he had talked to Lelouch about Nunnally. News had come from Japan about the princess’ marriage to the new shogun, and that had hurt. It had hurt enough for him to finally shake off his cowardice. It had almost been a relief to goad Lelouch into anger because he had though that the end would come. Apparently, Lelouch hadn’t been as good as he had bragged.

He hung his head, staring down at the covers. He tensed as he heard Schneizel move, sure that the prince was hovering over his back. Then the prince was gone, walking over to where Cecile and Lloyd were waiting.

The prince looked slightly disturbed. He rubbed his hands together, looking between him and the two physicians. “I had heard rumors from Europa, but I didn’t believe them. Lelouch was always steadier than the rest, even with what happened to Nunnally.”

Suzaku watched Cecile bite her lip, the woman remaining silent for a moment. “This is the only break that I noticed.”

“Beating him is a sure sign of a break.” Schneizel cursed under his breath. “I should have taken him with me, then we could have avoided all of this. But there’s no changing this now, Father won’t let Lelouch out of his sight now that he’s making trouble and I don’t have the time to free him from this. I’m going to depend on the two of you. Keep him alive.”

Suzaku must have made a strangled noise because the three of them turned to look at him. Cecile immediately bustled over to the table beside the bed, the woman looking through the pots before pulling one out. Suzaku smelled salve before Cecile starting working it into his back.

He hissed in pain, the sound drowning out the soothing noise that Cecile made. Suzaku looked over at Schneizel and Lloyd, watching the two of them talk in low voices. Whatever they were talking about didn’t pertain to him. Suzaku closed his eyes, focusing on the cooling sensation of the salve on his back.

He didn’t bother to open his eyes when he heard Schneizel moving towards the door, ready to sink back into the darkness. A commotion in the hallway made him open his eyes and attempt to sit up. Cecile’s hand on his back kept him down on the bed, the pressure increasing when Lelouch blew into the room.

The eleventh prince glanced over Suzaku before turning to glare at Schneizel. “What are you doing?”

“Investigating rumors.” Schneizel reached forward to pat Lelouch’s shoulder. “Watch yourself, brother. They’re starting to win over your good sense.”

Lelouch scoffed. “I don’t need you to worry about me. Now get away from my property.”

“Your property?” Schneizel laughed. “I thought you didn’t adhere to those ideas. Maybe you’re more like Father than I thought.”

Schneizel breezed out of the room before Lelouch could say a thing. It was the first time he had seen Lelouch at a loss for words in the months that he had known the prince. Lelouch turned to look at his brother as Schneizel disappeared into the hall. It was impossible for Suzaku to see where Schneizel had gone, but Lelouch still could by the way that his head turned.

Suzaku watched the prince for a moment before slumping back down on the bed. The motion didn’t disturb Cecile’s ministrations, the woman continuing to rub the salve into his back. Suzaku glanced back at her, noticing that she didn’t look at Lelouch but her lips were set in a thin line. He took that as disapproval, but didn’t comment on it. He was exhausted from just the small movements he had managed to do in his fright.

He let his head fall back on the pillow, Suzaku watching as Lelouch paced the room. He thought he saw Lelouch glancing back at him a few times, but the prince never seemed to hold his gaze.

Whatever the prince was working through didn’t take him long. Lelouch turned and stormed out of the room without a backwards glance.

Suzaku snorted and pressed his head into the pillow, not surprised by the prince’s actions. He was surprised that Lelouch had even bothered to come into the room to warn Schneizel off, although that had probably been less because of him and more because he had been Lelouch’s. If the prince had cared, then he wouldn’t have beaten him within an inch of his life.

He rolled his eyes, glancing back at where Lloyd was still leaning against the wall. The man seemed amused and totally uninterested in helping Cecile. Suzaku didn’t even know why the man was in the room, but he wasn’t doing anything so it didn’t matter.

Suzaku resettled himself on the bed, surprised when he heard Lloyd chuckle. When he looked back at the man, he was given a smile. “Looks like you missed your chance to go to heaven.”

“Lloyd!”

Suzaku ignored the argument, preferring to close his eyes and seek out the oblivion that came with sleep.


	6. Beg

Lelouch wished that the doors to the audience chamber could be slammed shut instead of their usual stately swing. He doubted that the people operating the doors would even allow him to do so, they valued their job too highly. That and it wouldn’t matter, his father had already left the smaller chamber to get on with the rest of his duties for the day. Charles wouldn’t be there to see Lelouch’s flash of anger, not that his father had ever cared. He had always seemed more amused than anything whenever Lelouch swore that he would get his little sister back.

His dressing down had been the closest he had seen his father smile since his mother had died.

Lelouch stormed out of the audience chamber, glancing around. Other than the guards there was practically no one around, which meant that Charles had purposefully distracted everyone else. He hadn’t even allowed Lelouch to air his grievances to people who might sympathize, although Lelouch doubted that it would have done anything but sent him further into disgrace. The nobles could maneuver and simper, but the emperor would not be moved.

He curled his fingers more firmly around the scrap of paper in his hand, hearing it crinkle. The sound was nothing compared to the humiliation and anger he felt, especially towards the person that was stepping away from the wall and coming his way.

He glared at Schneizel, hating the slight concern on his older brother’s face. As always, Schneizel looked completely put together and slightly distant, a competent diplomat and spy. Lelouch hated all of it.

Lelouch took a step forward, tossing the piece of paper at his older brother. Schneizel fumbled the catch, but that didn’t help his mood. He wanted to throw something heftier at his brother, something other than paper and ink. Lelouch wanted to see someone bleed for what had happened, but that wasn’t going to happen. His father had put his foot down, which meant that nothing would happen for a long while.

He waited for Schneizel to scan through part of the note before he nodded. “I hope you’re happy now.”

Schneizel didn’t respond for a moment, Lelouch watching as his brother frowned. Schneizel took his time reaching before he carefully folded the paper up. “This changes nothing.”

“It _doesn’t_?” Lelouch gestured wildly to the south. “He _gave_ them Nunnally, _our_ little sister. He allowed her to be married off to some old man, the same one that just reported that she’s _disappeared_. And _none of this_ concerns our father.”

Schneizel sighed and slipped the paper back into his pocket. Lelouch was sure that he saw the careful neutrality slip from Schneizel’s face a few times before his brother managed to control himself again. “That wasn’t the point, Lelouch.”

“Then what was it? If it wasn’t about the fact that our father doesn’t care enough about Nunnally to have someone look for her, then what was it all about?”

Schneizel shook his head. “It was about the treaty. Nunnally’s safety was guaranteed as long as Britannia abided by the terms of the treaty. I don’t think that you poking around in Japan with your agents was making the shogun comfortable.”

“He’s not supposed to be comfortable. They’ve had my sister since she was twelve.”

“The treaty was made in the hopes that she would marry Genbu Kururugi’s son since he was the next shogun.”

“Obviously that didn’t work because Suzaku Kururugi managed to disappear too. Haven’t you wondered how strange that is, or do you actually believe the rumors that he died mysteriously with his father?” Lelouch stared at Schneizel, waiting for his brother to respond. When Schneizel didn’t say anything, Lelouch threw his hands back up into the air. “Of course you don’t care. Go back to Europa and finish up another treaty there. Maybe you should offer one of their kings Laila. She doesn’t have a brother to defend her anymore, not since Itsukushima, not unless Clovis decides to haunt them.”

That finally got more than a flash of emotion. Schneizel stepped forward, reaching out for Lelouch but stopping before he could touch him. “You…you don’t understand a thing, Lelouch. You have been flaunting this treaty for seven years, making it very hard for any of us to do anything. If this one treaty can’t be honored then no other country will have anything to do with us. You seem to be content to let another war start.”

“Maybe, if it gets me back Nunnally.”

“She won’t be coming back! She’s the wife of the shogun!”

“Not if she’s disappeared!”

Schneizel stared at him for a moment before he shook his head. “Then the shogun’s men will find her.”

“You want me to just abandon my sister?!”

“Lelouch, you nearly beat a man to death after getting this news. A man who was gifted to you as a sign of peace between our countries.”

“Since when has giving slaves been a sign of peace?”

“I’m not here to argue about that. I’m here to tell you the facts since Father didn’t seem to get through to you.” Schneizel took a slow step forward. “What you were given was compensation of loss for your sister. Wrong or right he was given to you and you chose to beat him. And then you dare to come to me and talk to me about the place of slavery in the empire? All you’ve proven is that you cannot be trusted to abide by this treaty, which is why you will not be going after Nunnally. The matter is _closed_ , Lelouch.”

He stepped around Lelouch, heading down the hallway. Lelouch stared after him, tempted to run after Schneizel and take the note back. But it would mean more of a display in front of the guards, and Lelouch could already feel their uneasy silence pressing in on him.

Lelouch shot them an angry look before turning on his heel and storming back towards his rooms. It didn’t matter that Charles had kept his chastising secret, it would spread soon enough and twist into something strange by the time it got back to him. He would have to work his hardest to make sure that none of the court saw how it affected him. There were rumors enough about his state of mind, seven years’ worth.

He clenched his hands into fists, his breath coming fast as he moved through the semi-empty hallways. He didn’t care about the rumors, because there would always be some about him. There had been more after his father had given him the ‘gift’ from Japan. No matter how much the empire wanted to be like the Romans, there were some things that they considered themselves above.

The Roman Empire had been strong and powerful but corrupt, that’s why it had fallen in the first place. Most people preferred to point to the morals. Of course they had fallen because of their decadent ways, violent entertainment, orgies and slavery. Of course Britannia was better, because it didn’t participate in any of that. Their empire would continue on until eternity. Except the eleventh prince was sliding back into those ways, he had a slave, his mother didn’t trace her lineage back to the noble families but to the people that lived in the hills on the border.

Lelouch was used to treading the shaky ground, but he was quickly running out of patience for it. He just wanted to get his sister back.

He slowed down at his approached his rooms, realizing that he was breathing like he had run there. Lelouch shook his head, taking a moment to lean on the door. He tried to keep his gaze from straying down the hall to where the slave was kept, because he wasn’t about to start feeling bad for what he had done. It was that man’s fault that Nunnally was in her situation in the first place. If Suzaku Kururugi had just waited instead of charging in like an idiot then Lelouch might have had the time to extract Nunnally from the equation.

Lelouch sighed and swallowed hard, pushing back the next rush of despair. He couldn’t let himself give into that, not while his little sister was alone and lost in Japan. He doubted that anyone would help her over the border to Britannia, which meant that he had to go after Nunnally himself. Going to find his sister personally wasn’t an option, but he could at least start finding trustworthy agents to work through. If he couldn’t cross the border, then it was just a simple manner of finding someone who could.

He turned around so he could open the door, surprised when it opened easily under his hand. Lelouch stepped back as the door swung open, surprised to see C.C. on the other side. He would have thought that the woman had more important things than to wait around for him. She had made it clear that her life didn’t revolve around him and that she would look after her own pleasure first. Then again, she had been close to Marianne.

Lelouch swallowed, about to deliver the news when she reached out to smack the side of his head.

He recoiled in surprise, reaching up to touch the stinging spot close to his temple. He stared at her, trying to find some kind of emotion, but she was just staring at him as coolly and calmly as ever.

C.C. crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorframe. “You’re an idiot.”

Lelouch tensed and the insult. He lowered his hand and used it to shove her to the side. “Move.”

She went easily, stepping back into the room. Lelouch ignored the way she lingered by the door, too intent on getting to his bedroom. There were reports from his spies sitting on his desk that he wanted to read through before his father remembered exactly what went into searching for Nunnally. He wanted to memorize everything before Charles took it away from him.

He didn’t get far, Lelouch yelping as C.C. grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for Nunnally.” From the look on her face, she had already heard the news, although Lelouch couldn’t figure out how. He could have easily contributed it to the almost mystical powers that most people attributed the hill tribes with, but he had lived with C.C. long enough to know that none of those stories were true. Then again, it wasn’t too hard to guess what his father was punishing him with. There were only a few things left to him that Charles zi Britannia hadn’t ruined. “Let go of me.”

“Not if you’re going to be stupid.”

“If I was stupid, I’d be dead by now.”

She made a sound that might have been agreement, but she didn’t let go of his shoulder. “It’s too dangerous to do this right now.”

“So you want me to give up on Nunnally too?”

She squeezed hard on his shoulder, Lelouch buckling a bit under the pressure. C.C. stepped closer to her, her voice low. “Don’t push me, _boy_. I’m well aware of all the things you heard me promise Marianne.”

“Then why aren’t you doing anything?”

“What makes you think that I’m doing nothing?” She let go of his shoulder, the serious look disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. C.C. made her way over to the couch in front of the fireplace, stretching herself out on it. She reached up to play with the ends of her hair, staring at the carvings on the fireplace. “You seem to mistake my presence for inaction. I’ve got plenty of ears.”

“And what are they saying?”

“Nothing yet. So I’m not going to waste energy running around and certainly not when disturbing Japan is unpopular at the moment.”

Lelouch scoffed. “It’s not, but we have to pretend it is so the shogun believes it.”

“The important thing is that he does. We got lucky, Lord Sawazaki isn’t as sharp as his predecessor.”

Lelouch rolled his eyes and headed to his room. He didn’t need a lesson in politics. He was well aware of everything that went on in Japan, he had been from the moment the news had come back to him through the lines that his little sister had been stolen away on the back of a horse. That attention had served him well considering that he had been among the first to learn that Princess Guinevere had been sent to Edo as a prospective bride to the shogun. It hadn’t take too much digging to figure out why, namely that Nunnally had seemed to vanish off the face of the earth and that the choice had been his father’s alone.

It was obvious why that happened. Nunnally had been away from Britannia for too long to know exactly how to use the shogun to their advantage. Besides, Lelouch doubted that his sister could handle political maneuvering.

She had stayed out of it while they had both lived in Britannia. Guinevere was her opposite, older and aggressive enough to push a weak ruler in their direction. Lelouch didn’t doubt that his father had a plan for what Guinevere should do as soon as she was settled in and the question of Nunnally was settled, which was why Charles didn’t want Nunnally found.

Despite all of his protests, Nunnally and Lord Sawazaki had been married. With what he could dig out of the Japanese law system, the two of them would be married until one of their deaths. To have Nunnally disappear in such a timely manner and the response come so quickly meant that both Japan and Britannia had decided that Nunnally wouldn’t be to either of their tastes, which meant that the whole thing was planned. And Japan had drawn Britannia’s noose tighter around its own neck.

Lelouch wouldn’t have cared, save for the fact that his sister was still somewhere in the country. Lord Sawazaki would have a few more years to live until Charles decided that he’d had enough of the shogun. Or, if Sawazaki was easily manipulated, Charles might just keep him on the throne to prevent Japan from rising up against him. Either way, that was a problem that could be solved later, but Nunnally’s situation was more important. Whoever had her would have to keep her quiet until the appropriate time or just get rid of her right off the bat, both of which he had to prevent.

He turned ideas over in his mind as he reached the doorway into his bedroom, considering just who he could trust to listen to his orders and be able to think on their feet.

He rested his hand on the door, jerking it back when C.C. spoke.

“It’s interesting how many people seem to be disappearing in Japan. Are you going to go looking for Suzaku Kururugi too?”

Lelouch turned to look at her, not surprised to see C.C. peering over the back of the couch at him. She had a smug smile on her face, Lelouch flinching at the expression.

She knew. Of course she did.

He swung the door to his room open, pausing to look back at her. “Don’t say his name.”

“Who? Suzaku Kurur-”

Lelouch slammed the door before he could hear the rest of what she would say.


	7. Sister

“This is all your fault.”

The words were practically spat at him. Suzaku lifted his chin slightly to glare at Lelouch as the prince paced in front of him. He resisted the urge to snap back at Lelouch because it would do nothing to help. 

This was the same mood that had spurred Lelouch to order him flogged for his insolence. His back ached too much for him to risk angering Lelouch again.

He shifted in place, leaning as much weight as he dared onto the balustrade of the balcony. Suzaku gave the gardens below a quick glance. There were enough bushes to break his fall if he didn’t want to risk climbing down the ivy. Once down, it was a short sprint and a climb over the low wall that divided the garden from the rest of the city. Suzaku sighed and shifted his weight.

He didn’t know Pendragon at all, but it wouldn’t be too hard to find his way through the streets. It was the manacles and collar that would give him away. Suzaku reached up to touch his collar, running his finger along the top of it. There were plenty of other Numbers wandering the city, but none of them were as easily identified as he was.

Suzaku dropped his hand back to his side, turning his attention back to the enraged prince as Lelouch turned on his heel. The prince moved back down his chamber, lashing out at a small table as he passed.

Chess pieces scattered in a messy arc, Suzaku looking down at the white knight bounced and rolled its way over to him. The elaborately carved piece knocked against his foot, Suzaku quick to nudge it away from him.

The rest of the pieces scattered randomly, Lelouch not seeming to care that he was treading on them the next time he turned. Lelouch met his gaze for a moment, Suzaku surprised by the anger that he saw there.

For the months that he had been in Pendragon he had gotten used to a carefully controlled prince. Prince Schneizel might have been the cold one, but nothing that Lelouch did was real, it was all false smiles and laughter. To see something real was surprising, and it made him wary. 

He didn’t think that Lelouch would get away with flogging him again, not when everyone was waiting for the next mistake that Lelouch would make. Not when he had just gotten back from a telling off by the emperor. It didn’t matter that it had been private, Suzaku was sure that the emperor had allowed just enough gossip to leak out to make Lelouch’s life a living hell.

Lelouch spun away from him, pacing a shorter path between one of the couches and the wall. Suzaku tensed when Lelouch slowed towards the center of the line. Suzaku’s held Lelouch’s gaze, not surprised when that angered the prince further.

“What did he promise you?” Lelouch took a step forward, his fingers curling into a fist. “Did he promise you a chance to escape while he looked away? Did he promise that you would be the one to kill me? Or did he promise you another princess? Your prince seems to like riding off with my sisters.”

“He’s not a prince.” It was the only thing that he could answer with, because the accusations confounded him. 

The emperor hadn’t bothered to look in on him after the beating. One of his aides had, but Suzaku hadn’t spoken to him, he had still been laid out as he recovered. The aide must have spoken to the other people in Lelouch’s retinue, which was the point that Lelouch was missing. But he wouldn’t give the prince that favor. His back was still smarting from the beating and angry that Lelouch had decided to blame all of it on him.

Lelouch made a sound of disgust, waving his hand like he was dismissing Suzaku from his presence. “It doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change anything. Your…not prince took my sister and my father did nothing.”

Suzaku laughed, not bothering to disguise the sound. “I seem to remember that there was a lot of fighting before and after.”

“Right, because you were there.” Lelouch took a step forward. “The common soldier so eager to follow orders. And where did that get you?”

Suzaku flinched at the reminder, but he didn’t let Lelouch see more than that. He wouldn’t give the prince the satisfaction. 

Lelouch didn’t seem to need anything more to continue. “It got you here, with me, at my sufferance.”

“And you can’t even kill me.”

Suzaku hadn’t meant to sound like he was gloating, because he wanted nothing more. He had been waiting for it since he had taken his sword to his father.

Lelouch stared at him for a moment, Suzaku sure that he was going to be ordered out. Once that happened, he would be put in chains and secured in his rooms. Then he would sit there until Lelouch got in the mood to heap abuse on him again.

The anger leaked from Lelouch, the prince walking over to the couch and leaning on the back. “No. I can’t. I can make your life miserable. I can make you suffer just as much as I have.”

“I doubt that.”

Lelouch’s shoulder twitched in what might have been a flinch, but he didn’t let it show on his face. “Do you? Do you even know where they took her? What they’ve done to her?”

Suzaku pressed his lips together, because he didn’t. The last news he had heard had been delivered by Lelouch just before the beating, and that had been that Nunnally had been married to Sawazaki.

He was silent for too long because Lelouch just nodded. “I thought so. You probably didn’t even see her.”

“They would have kept her safe.”

“Would they? With Father snatching up the lands of every country around us do you think that Japan feels safe? Britannia incited the last war and it’s been pushing for another one but, for some reason, Father doesn’t want to engage. Japan isn’t Area 11 yet because Father has something else up his sleeve. So, tell me, when Britannia marches in on Japan, who will they kill first?”

“Not her.” Suzaku was sure of that, he knew that down in his bones. “She’s too valuable.”

“That’s worse.”

Lelouch pushed away from the couch, apparently done with his tirade. Suzaku was tempted to ask if he could go, to make one more dig at Lelouch, but he held his tongue. If Lelouch just left him on his own then he had a better chance to slip over the wall, collar or not.

The prince paused by the door into the next room, Lelouch staring at him. “You still think that the emperor spoke to me about you?” Lelouch shook his head. “You are unbearably naive. The Emperor doesn’t care about Numbers.”

“I’m not a Number.”

“No, you’re worse off than them. At least it’s assumed that they’re human and they’re allowed names. You’re just a number. Prisoner 1 from the  _Zephyr_ , Z01. You’re not even a person anymore.”

Suzaku took a step forward before he could stop himself. The weight of the manacles around his wrist would be more than enough to cause harm, and Lelouch looked fragile enough to break easily. That would make the prince shut up. It wouldn’t win him his name back, but it would be better than nothing.

He sucked in a quick breath when Lelouch grinned at him, the prince holding his hands out in a sign of surrender. “Go on, nothing can hurt me. I’d welcome it. At least I’d be able to see my sister again.”

That stopped Suzaku dead, one hand raised slightly in readiness to slam it into the side of Lelouch’s head. He watched the emotion flicker across Lelouch’s face before the prince lowered his arms back to his side.

“You haven’t heard? I’ve been forbidden to look for her. That’s what the emperor called me in to say. Apparently, it’s infringing on our treaty with Japan, and we can’t do that.”

His breath caught in his throat, Suzaku staring at Lelouch. 

There were stories told about Itsukushima, plays and songs that all had a specific section about the rage of Prince Lelouch, about how he had chased the shogun’s son for miles and days. The chase had never happened, but the rage was real; Suzaku had heard of it on the battlefield. He had seen an entire troop turn to hold Prince Lelouch in place. Since coming to Pendragon he had heard nothing else but how much Lelouch had loved his sister, and how it had broken him when she was lost. And now his father had forbidden him the chance to get her back.

Suzaku closed his eyes. It was all too easy to imagine Nunnally’s face when he had let her off his horse at the Sumeragi mansion. She had been so frightened and asking about her brother. And Suzaku had just turned around and rode away.

“I’m sorry.”

The words surprised him almost as much as the knowledge that he meant them.

He opened his eyes and looked at Lelouch. The prince looked as surprised as he was, but it didn’t last long. 

The prince made a sharp motion with his hand. “Get out.”

Suzaku walked towards the door without complaint. It would be safer to leave Lelouch to his grief and return to his chambers.


	8. Woods

Suzaku eyed the tents being set up, watching as the Numbers struggled with the highly ornate ones. One was carefully embroidered with the seal of the royal family, the winged snake and lion holding up a crown between them. One of the unsecured panels waved in the wind, the Numbers rushing around the secure it before any of the royal family came down to see the emperor’s tent in disarray.

He hadn’t thought the emperor would be interested in hunting considering that Charles zi Britannia seemed to enjoy spending his days indoors and working on his plans for future conquests. Apparently he had been wrong. The emperor seemed to enjoy the outing so far. Suzaku had seen the man taking his horse over a few of the fences to the applause of the nobles who had rushed to join the hunt. Prince Odysseus and Princess Karine remained close to their father.

Suzaku frowned and looked back at where a bunch of servants were pulling up Lelouch’s tent. He knew that he was expected to help them, but he hadn’t gotten any orders. Besides, it would be easier to linger near Lelouch’s horse than try and interact with the Numbers that had been pulled from the servants of the palace.

Lelouch should have been able to afford his own servants now, especially since he had gotten the ultimatum that he wouldn’t be looking after Nunnally, but the prince hadn’t made any moves to apply himself to that end. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch was still trying to find his way around his father’s ban, but that hadn’t stopped him from accepting the invitation to the hunt. Then again, the invitation was something that no one could have turned down.

He turned his gaze away from the simple red, lightning bolt embroidered on Lelouch’s tent, preferring to look around at the other lords and ladies that were gathering around.

He couldn’t recognize most of them, but he did see Milly Ashford already mounted on a bay mare. The mare was practically jigging in place, but Milly didn’t seem to mind. Her attention was on Shirley Fenette, the young woman looking nervous on her own placid horse. Suzaku wasn’t surprised to see the two of them, especially when Milly seemed to enjoy bringing the young woman out to social events. Suzaku didn’t quite know Shirley’s position in the hierarchy of the court, but he could tell that it wasn’t on par with the rest of the lords and ladies. He froze when Milly looked over at him and waved, Suzaku giving her a short wave before looking away.

He couldn’t see Euphemia or her lover, but he doubted that either Euphemia or Nina would take joy in riding down a deer. Gino Weinberg was lurking on the edges, staying close to people in bright capes. Suzaku eyed the group of them before shaking his head. It wasn’t worth the time to memorize the names and positions when he would just be following Lelouch around. Everyone knew that he was Lelouch’s, if the iron cuffs around his wrists and the gold collar didn’t give them a big enough hint than the way that the rest of the Numbers reacted to his presence did. It was a rare occurrence that their position was considered higher than someone else.

Suzaku sighed and gave the crowd one last scan, catching sight of Princess Cornelia and Kanon, but Prince Schneizel was nowhere in sight. He narrowed his eyes, studying the way the two of them leaned close to talk to each other.

He had thought that Schneizel had gone back to Europa to continue his wrangling over treaties, but he had never imagined that Schneizel would get rid of his shadow so easily. If Kanon was still in Pendragon, then something important was going on. Something important and far over his head.

Suzaku turned his attention away from the two of them, walking carefully over to where Lelouch’s horse was tied. He could still feel the ache in his back from his beating, the welts and open wounds still healing. Still, it was better than it had been weeks before, which was probably because of Cecile’s care. He hadn’t seen Lloyd since he had regained and held his consciousness for a full day, but the stories that Cecile told were enough to reassure him that the man was alive for now. Although, considering some of the experiments that Cecile said that Lloyd was running, it was a miracle that he had remained that way.

He shook his head and came around the side of the tent. He could feel the gazes of the Numbers on him, Suzaku resisting the urge to roll his shoulders. The motion would make his entire back ache, and he would already have to stand around and wait on the prince until the hunt was over. The other nobles and royals might have aides and servants standing by, but Lelouch would have his slave standing by. Suzaku was sure that the others wouldn’t even wait for their employers to ride away to start gossiping among themselves.

Suzaku was sure that he’d heard it all, from the rumor that he’d been part of the small rebellion that had tried to take out the former shogun to the one where he was Sawazaki’s lover who had been put aside to marry Princess Nunnally. Of course, that wasn’t enough for the wagging tongues of the Britannian court. They were all sure that it had been something more, something truly awful to earn his enslavement, especially since slavery hadn’t been practiced since the Roman Empire had taken a hold of Britannia. Suzaku had wanted to laugh at that, because he had seen how the Numbers were treated. The rules and names might have changed, but the practice was still the same. Numbers didn’t wear chains or collars, which seemed to make them think that they were better off than one Japanese man gifted to the eleventh prince.

He rubbed at his wrists, trying to ignore the itch beneath them. As much as he hated the system set up by Britannia, he would have almost been ready to exchange the collar and cuffs for the designation of Number. For one, the irritated skin wouldn’t itch, for another, he would have gotten a little bit more respect.

He sighed and looked over at where Lelouch’s horse was waiting. He tensed when he saw a young man standing by the head of the chestnut.

The young man was talking in a low voice, his hand held flat as the horse lipped at his hand. Suzaku thought he heard the young man laugh, but the sound was lost in the noise of preparation, just like anything else the boy said.

Suzaku was tempted to leave the man to it and find a place to tuck himself away. Lelouch was sure to come out to meet with the others, and the prince wouldn’t be pleased to see him. The prince hadn’t been by to see him since the short interview in the prince’s rooms. Suzaku had hoped that it would be the last of it and that the emperor had gotten the hint. Lelouch didn’t want the gift, and he had shown that to his father in every way imaginable. Surely the beating would have been enough of a message to the emperor, but the order for Suzaku to attend had come just like the others.

He shifted in place, freezing when the young man looked up at him. Suzaku found himself staring into an almost familiar purple eyes. He tried not to react, ignoring the instinct that told him to duck his head and back away.

It wasn’t Lelouch, the young man didn’t have the same presence or even the same face, but the eyes couldn’t be a coincidence. Suzaku had only seen the color in the royal family, which meant that the young man had to be one of Emperor Charles’ by-blows, but Suzaku didn’t know which one. The royal heirs, bastard and true born had always been introduced in the same way. The only way he had been able to tell which one out of Castor or Marybelle had been legitimate had been by listening to the way that people had talked about them when they were out of the room.

The young man considered him for a moment before smiling, Suzaku couldn’t help but shiver at the expression. There was something cruel in the smile, something hidden. At least Lelouch didn’t bother to hide his hatred of Suzaku, but this man seemed to believe that manners were needed.

Suzaku inclined his head, not sure what kind of bow was expected of him. The motion eased the smile a little bit, the man patting the chestnut before stepping away.

“I just came to check on my brother’s horse. It’s not like him to leave a Number in charge of his things.”

Suzaku bristled a bit at the insinuation, but he kept his anger in check. “I’m not a Number.”

“Even more of a reason to check on his horse. Someone who hasn’t lived here can’t really know how to prepare for a hunt.”

“We hunt in Japan.”

“A common soldier?” The man shook his head. “Surprises never cease.”

He went to walk away, Suzaku stepping aside to let him. He was surprised when the young man covered the distance between them quickly.

He leaned back, surprised to see a flash of sunlight off a blade. Suzaku only had a moment to register the knife before it was pressed against the collar around his throat. He jerked his head back slightly, the young man letting him go. The man seemed more amused by Suzaku’s reaction than keeping him in place.

The young man nodded at him, stepping in closer. “Consider this a warning. I heard that you were already punished for stepping out of line and I will not hesitate to make sure you remember that lesson.”

“I won’t be forgetting it.”

“Good.” The knife flashed again as the young man put it away, but the hard hold on his shoulder didn’t let up. “I wouldn’t want anything happening to my beloved brother.”

“Rolo!”

Suzaku relaxed when he heard Lelouch’s voice, too relieved to have the man distracted by someone else. It would almost be worth having Lelouch’s attention on him.

He took a step back from the two of them, taking the chance to reach up and touch his collar. It would have blocked any injury to him, but it hadn’t survived unscathed. There was a slash in the malleable gold, Suzaku exploring the edge of it. He dropped his hand away quickly, looking back at Lelouch and Rolo.

Now that the two of them were standing together, it was easy to see that they were related. Suzaku looked between the two of them before shuffling over to stand by the horse. He had no intention on listening in to what they had to say. It was probably more politics, more things that he didn’t care about. As long as he kept his head down, Lelouch wouldn’t decide to take out whatever edict his father had forced on him on Suzaku.

He ran his hands over the horse’s neck, watching as the chestnut arched its neck. The horse seemed calm enough, which seemed to be the way that Lelouch preferred them.

The prince wasn’t as athletic as some of his other siblings, he preferred to bury himself in political matters or sit with his friends and trade gossip. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch would struggle to keep up with the rest of the pack, which was probably just what the emperor wanted. If the man was working a campaign to slight Lelouch at every chance, then this was an ideal place. The people of Britannia probably wouldn’t want a king who was anything less than a paragon, especially since it looked like there would be a war for the throne as soon as Charles died.

Suzaku huffed and started to make his way down the horse’s side. The familiar motion was calming, something that he had always insisted that he did himself. If he didn’t spend any time with the horse then he wouldn’t be able to tell if the animal was off or if the saddle needed repair. It was a simple thing, well worth the time. Now, it was a good way to avoid any conversation that Lelouch and Rolo were having. He would already have to stand through the nobles who remained behind and the Numbers muttering about his presence, he didn’t need to hear the prince and one of his half-brothers doing it.

He ran a hand over the horse’s shoulder, his other hand starting to sort through the flaps on the saddle.

It was nothing like the saddles he was used to. It was larger, the pommel and the cantle high in the back and front. Suzaku assumed that they would keep a knight in armor in place, but he couldn’t imagine why they would need it for hunting. Then again, he didn’t know why the Britannians did half the things that they did.

He shook his head and kept running his hands over the leather. Everything felt alright, the leather was smooth and well-oiled under his hands. He might not know the reason behind half of the flaps, but they looked in good repair, not that Suzaku had thought that they would be anything but. Lelouch might have been falling out of favor, but he was still a prince of the empire and that deserved its own kind of respect.

Suzaku glanced over his shoulder, watching as Lelouch rested a hand on Rolo’s shoulder. The young man preened under the touch, Suzaku careful to turn away before he rolled his eyes. He didn’t want Rolo to have any reason to take offence, not when his back still ached. He rolled his own shoulders, hissing at the tug on his skin. As soon as the hunt was over, Cecile would want to see him to check that he hadn’t ruined anything.

He patted the horse just behind the saddle, jerking his hand away when the animal squealed and kicked out. Suzaku stared at the horse, surprised that the placid chestnut had protested so much. It could be as simple as the animal’s back hurt from the fit of the saddle, but he would have expected the horse to be more annoyed instead of standing easily until Suzaku pressed on the one spot. He frowned and ran his fingers over the spot again.

The horse didn’t squeal, but it did lash out again. Suzaku watched the horse’s leg kick out before he shook his head. It clearly wasn’t the fit of the saddle because the spot he was pressing was on embroidered pad underneath. Suzaku frowned and tried to roll the pad back, but the weight of the saddle wouldn’t let him get to the spot.

He moved back over to the girth, shoving the flaps out of the way so he could get to the strap of leather. The first tug had the horse squealing and kicking out again.

The sound wasn’t ignored, Suzaku hearing one of the Numbers shout at him. That was sure to draw the attention of the prince and Rolo. Suzaku muttered a curse under his breath and undid the girth. He had to rock up onto his tiptoes to be able to lift the saddle from the chestnut’s back instead of dragging it free.

Suzaku dropped the saddle on the ground, not caring that it knocked against his leg. At least it wasn’t knocking against the horse and exciting it more. He paused to pat the horse’s rump, hoping that it would steady the horse enough for him to peel back the pad.

He took a deep breath before starting to roll back the pad. Suzaku kept an eye on the horse, watching as the chestnut lower its head. The horse didn’t seem to protest now that the pressure from the saddle was gone. That didn’t meant that the animal wouldn’t protest when Suzaku found what was causing it discomfort.

He had rolled the pad partially back when a hand grabbed his arm. Suzaku braced himself so he wouldn’t be jerked around, taking a little bit of joy in the fact that Rolo cursed.

“What are you doing to Lelouch’s horse?”

Suzaku didn’t get the chance to answer because he rolled the pad back to reveal a series of short, metal spikes that had been stuck into the pad. They were too short to cause the horse discomfort until weight was put onto them, which meant that no one would notice until Lelouch had gotten on the horse. With the spikes digging into the chestnut’s back, Lelouch would have probably gotten bucked off, or the horse would have gone crazy from the pain. Suzaku didn’t want to imagine how that would end, because it would be a horrible end for such a well bred horse.

The pad was jerked out of his hand, Suzaku hearing Rolo gasp. The man turned to wave the pad in Lelouch’s direction. “Have you seen what your slave did to your horse?”

“What did he do?” Lelouch strolled over, looking uninterested in the whole affair. The only sign that he was surprised with a slight raise of his eyebrows. Lelouch hummed and took the pad from Rolo, looking between the spikes and the horse’s back.

The prince was silent for a while, absently playing with the pad before he tossed it aside. Lelouch turned to one of the Numbers, waving them over.

The woman shuffled close, looking surprised when Lelouch spoke to her in a calm and level voice. “Leonor, could you go and get my other horse and take this one back to the stable? He can’t be ridden in this condition.”

She dipped a quick curtsey to him before untying the chestnut. The Number scurried off, leading the chestnut off.

Suzaku turned to watch them go. He had expected more of a blow up, something that would end with him being hauled off for another beating. Instead, he found himself staring at Lelouch as the prince crouched down to look at the saddle.

He picked over the saddle, pausing at some of the leather straps. Lelouch pulled at them, muttering to himself. None of them had come off in the prince’s hand, which Suzaku considered a good thing. At least whoever wanted Lelouch dead hadn’t gotten to the saddle. Suzaku wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was relief or just the knowledge that he wouldn’t have an easy out.

Suzaku looked away when Lelouch stood up again. The prince hummed to himself before stepping closer to him. “You were the last to touch my horse.”

“I didn’t put them there.”

“I believe you.”

The three words surprised him. Suzaku turned to stare at Lelouch, not caring that he looked openly shocked.

For once, the prince didn’t gloat over any emotion that he managed to get out of Suzaku. Lelouch just nodded. For a moment, it looked like Lelouch was going to touch his shoulder, but the prince jerked his hand back. “Stay here and supervise the saddling of the other horse. And keep an eye on Rolo.”

The last sentence was whispered to him. Suzaku stared at the prince and Lelouch nodded and walked off to join another knot of lords and ladies talking. Suzaku was amazed that Lelouch was able to carry on like he hadn’t just seen through a threat on his life. Suzaku shook his head and bent down to pick up the saddle. He would never understand Britannians and their court machinations.

He sucked in a deep breath as he stood up, feeling his back burn as he took the weight of the saddle. Once upright it was easier to bear the load, Suzaku shifting the saddle in his arms. He went to turn only to come to a stop when Rolo stepped in front of him.

Rolo glared at him. “I know what you’re up to.”

“And what is that?”

“You want your freedom, so you want to kill him.”

Suzaku wanted to laugh, but he kept his mouth shut. He shifted in place, moving the saddle to a more comfortable position in his arms. “And what do you want from him?”

“He’s my brother.”

“That hasn’t stopped you Britannians before.” Suzaku turned on his heel and walked away before Rolo could say anything else. He didn’t want to listen to any more accusations. He was given the chance to work at something instead of standing around like a decoration. Besides, the horses were far better company than a jumped up noble would.

Suzaku managed to bring the saddle so he could hold it up on his shoulder. It was more comfortable there than held in his arms with the straps and stirrups knocking into his stomach. As he walked past where Lelouch was he thought he saw the prince look back at him, but he ignored it. There was a horse to saddle up, which would be worth it to earn himself some time without Lelouch lingering behind him.


	9. Forgiveness

Light and laughter trickled out of the open doors and into the garden. Suzaku turned to look at the doors to the garden that had been flung open, He could see flashes of color as the lords and ladies rushed by, all of them either heading to the great hall where the celebrations were still going on or out to the gardens. A few of them strayed off track, heading back to their rooms, but they were mostly ignored or sent on their way with knowing winks. And, intermixed and invisible, were the Numbers.

Suzaku watched one edge along the side of the hall before ducking into the great hall, probably to help clean up from the last of the feast. The Numbers would be sneaking around the edges of the room to clear the tables while the Britannians were distracted with music. Suzaku was sure that it would be one of the _lais_ of King Arthur or King Alwin, the Britannian king that had managed to chase the Romans out of Britannia while the empire was falling down. Suzaku sometimes couldn’t tell the difference between the two, considering all of the fanciful tales that were told about the two of them.

He took a deep breath of the night air, staring up at the stars. The lights from the palace muted them a little, but they were still visible enough for him to trace out the constellations. He remembered some of the soldiers pointing them out to him and telling him the stories that went along with them. Then again, now that he thought about it, the stories about the stars were just as fanciful as the _lais_ that were being sung.

Suzaku sighed and took a step back. That still wouldn’t be enough to chase him back in, not when he wasn’t able to follow the metaphors from the songs. More than that, he didn’t want to hear about how Alwin chased out the Romans and their slavery and how Arthur had punished other kingdoms and his own nobles for falling into the same habits. It was hard to believe that the Britannians were really paying attention to their own songs, especially when there were Numbers scurrying around the back walls and his golden collar sat heavy on his neck.

He reached up to rub at it, quickly jerking his arm down when the manacle and collar knocked against each other. Suzaku hissed and stared down at the cuff. He glanced between the cuff and celebration going on in the palace before turning on his heel and walking deeper into the gardens.

He doubted that anyone would stop him, they were all too busy with their celebration. Even if someone looked out at him, they probably thought him well and truly tamed.

Lelouch’s shame had spread through the court and a speed that baffled Suzaku. After all, he would have thought that Lelouch would have taken steps to keep it quiet, but the prince didn’t seem to mind that it was whispered and talked about. Even more confusing was the fact that it had _raised_ the prince’s esteem in the eyes of some of the courtiers. Suzaku had overheard a few of them congratulating the prince on his handling of his Number, although they seemed flummoxed when Lelouch reminded them that Suzaku was a slave. It was an uneasy truce that Suzaku wanted to stay away from, especially since it meant that Lelouch spent most of his time looking at Suzaku like he was either trying to figure him out or trying to kill him.

If Suzaku thought that he could push Lelouch again, he would have encouraged the latter, but the prince was being careful now.

Suzaku ambled down the garden path, pausing to look out over the balustrade. It wasn’t a defensive place, but Suzaku could see the dim light from the walls that surrounded the palace. In the distance there were more pinpricks of light from the fires that the guards on the outer walls of the city had built. Suzaku surveyed the defenses before he shook his head.

Britannia had outgrown stone walls and used the countries that she had conquered. Suzaku doubted that any kind of rebellion could get through Britannia, not even after their defeat at Itsukushima. Britannia had cowed the world and then still had the military might to prove it if any of the Areas tried to push.

He sighed and leaned on the balustrade. He looked down over the edge, scanning over the walls and out into the city of Pendragon. The city was lit up, Suzaku assuming that they were celebrating as well. No one had told him about what the celebration was about and the _lais_ didn’t help.

Suzaku found himself looking over the space between the drop of the balustrade and the wall. He couldn’t see any lights on the section that he was by, which meant that there was a chance that he could sneak over the wall there. All it would take was a drop down to the slope, finding a way up the wall and then making his way through the city. Considering the lights, it would be hard for him to get through the city, let alone over the second wall. And, while he might be allowed to wander, he certainly wouldn’t be able to escape. He was Lelouch’s punishment after all, a reminder of who really ruled the empire. No matter what he did, he would be left alive.

He groaned and leaned forward until he could rest his head on the balustrade. The stone was cool against his forehead, Suzaku remaining bent over until his back started complaining. He cursed and pushed himself up, resisting the urge to reach back and rub his back.

Cecile had warned him against messing with the healing scars. Most of the scabs had gone, but he could still feel some of them catch on his shirt when he moved. His back was stiff, but it wasn’t an open wound anymore, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to thank Cecile for that or not. He wanted to be annoyed with her for saving him, especially when he had finally managed to push Lelouch to the point when the prince would lash out. But he couldn’t, not when she had spent all of her free time at his side. She had been kind, something that he had found in short supply with the Britannians.

He turned to look at the palace, carefully leaning back on the railing. His back protested that move, Suzaku gritting his teeth as he tried to get his back to move in the way that he was used to. Even with all of Cecile’s efforts, Suzaku doubted that he would be able to use a sword easily again, not that it mattered. He doubted that he would be allowed to leave Britannia, save for when Lelouch did. He would be held in place to torment Lelouch until the prince did something stupid enough to get himself killed or Charles tired of the game.

Suzaku didn’t know what would happen to him then, but he wouldn’t get a say in it. For all he knew, he would get shipped off to a far off Area or given back to Japan. If the latter happened, then he would be at Kirihara’s mercy and something in him rebelled at that. He had trusted the man once and he couldn’t bring himself to trust Kirihara again.

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning further back against the balustrade. The sound of laughter and music was grating now, but Suzaku didn’t know where he could go in the garden to escape it. The only gardens he knew were the ones that he had been able to glimpse from his one time in Lelouch’s room and the room that Lelouch liked holding his miniature court in. Suzaku was sure that it was another garden, probably a private one because Suzaku couldn’t remember seeing anyone out in the gardens, save for the gardeners.

He let his chin drop to his chest, trying to ignore the press of the collar against the underside of his jaw. He managed it for the music to change, probably the start of another _lai_ , before he had to lift his head again.

Suzaku tensed as he saw Lelouch standing on one of the paths. He curled his fingers more firmly around the edge of the railing, watching Lelouch carefully.

The prince didn’t see too surprised to see him, in fact, Suzaku was sure that the prince had been looking from him. Suzaku couldn’t think of any other reason he would have slipped away from the celebrations. From everything that he had seen, Lelouch loved to listen to anything that had to do with the ancient kings of Britannia, even if they were just stories. Suzaku had no idea why the stories appealed to Lelouch, especially when it was clear that they could never match up to the way that the Britannians lived. They certainly didn’t match a prince who spent more of his time sneaking around than charging forward with honor and valor.

He swallowed and lifted his chin slightly, meeting Lelouch’s gaze. He expected to feel some kind of fear about seeing the prince, the man had been the reason had had nearly been beaten to death. But there wasn’t fear, there was just exhaustion. He didn’t want to deal with whatever Lelouch had decided to berate him about or the annoyed looks that Lelouch had shot him over the past few weeks. Suzaku just didn’t care anymore, he refused to be cowed by the prince’s anger.

After a moment of Lelouch staring at him, Suzaku turned around to face the wall, giving Lelouch his back. He didn’t think that Lelouch could do anything to him, not with so many people around.

He thought he heard Lelouch huff, sure that it would be the last that he would see of the prince for the night. Lelouch had probably just come out to keep his father off of his back. The prince would linger for a few minutes before going back to whatever had occupied his attention. Suzaku was more than happy to just wait until Charles had decided that his son had been annoyed for long enough and ordered him sent back to his room.

To his surprise, he heard footsteps on the gravel path behind him. Suzaku turned his head slightly, watching as Lelouch approached the balustrade. He shifted in place, debating whether he should remain where he was or walk away. He doubted that Lelouch would do anything, not with so many people to witness whatever loss of temper would follow and, strangely enough, not with the way that Rivalz tensed and reached for the sword that hung by his side.

Suzaku raised an eyebrow at the sight. It didn’t look like Rivalz was worried about him, the man wasn’t even looking at him. Rivalz’s full attention was on Lelouch, which was strange considering how close they had seemed before. Suzaku gave Rivalz a long glance before shrugging and turning his attention back to the outer defensive wall around the city.

He twitched when Lelouch leaned on the balustrade despite himself. The prince couldn’t hurt him, at least for the next few months when the attention of the court was on him. Suzaku assumed that, as soon as the court had moved on from Lelouch’s disgrace, he would have to be on the lookout for other chances to push Lelouch, if the prince allowed it again.

Suzaku frowned and fixed his gaze on the shadow of a tower that he could see in the distance. Staring at the vague shape was better than looking over at Lelouch or trying to figure out what Rivalz was going to do.

Lelouch allowed him the silence for a few moments before the prince laughed. “If you’re planning to escape, you’re looking the wrong way. The best way to leave would be on the other side of the palace, and on a day when we’re not celebrating Schneizel’s successes.”

“What makes you think that I want to run?”

It was worth the look over to see Lelouch start. The prince stared at him, his mouth falling open before he managed to correct himself. Even then, Lelouch couldn’t keep the astonishment out of his voice. “What kind of idiot would want to stay here?”

Suzaku raised one shoulder in a shrug, hissing a bit as one of the half healed spots caught. Lelouch’s attention focused on it for a moment before the prince looked away again, Suzaku relaxing at the end of the scrutiny. It was amusing to be an enigma to Lelouch, especially since it so obviously bothered the prince not to know everything.

He settled more comfortably against the balustrade, paying more attention to the sounds of the celebration coming in from behind him than the prince beside him. He couldn’t quite hear the words of the _lai_ being sung, not from the distance and not over the chatter of voices from the people in the halls and out in the garden. It was easy enough to ignore the sound of the Britannians talking, but Suzaku perked up when he heard someone speaking in Chinese.

He turned away from the railing, trying to pinpoint the direction it was coming from, but it was hard in between the other sounds of the celebrations. He lost it completely as the music swelled. Suzaku frowned, glancing around for the formal Chinese robes, but all he could see were Britannians, most of them hurrying away when they realized that he was looking at him.

Suzaku watched a pair of women practically flee down one of the garden paths, jumping when he heard Lelouch chuckle. He turned to look back at the prince, hating that Lelouch looked amused again.

The prince nodded at him, leaning back against the railing. “I see you’ve gotten wind of my father’s second plan, just in case Guinevere and Lord Sawazaki don’t stick, although it has been two months since she was sent down as a replacement.” His mouth twisted at the admission, but Lelouch didn’t linger over the strange disappearance of his sister. “Since he can’t just charge into war, Father is thinking about marrying Odysseus off to the Tianzi in the hopes that she can bring in the Chinese Federation.”

Suzaku tensed at that, curling his hands into fists. The Chinese Federation had always stayed out of the Britannian squabbles, but that hadn’t stopped them from considering an alliance with Britannia. Suzaku didn’t know what they wanted out of the empire, but he was sure that the deal hadn’t been pushed forward by the Tianzi. Suzaku doubted that the young ruler even knew about it or, if she did, someone had talked her into it.

He glanced back over at Lelouch, taking in the smug smile on the prince’s face. It was tempting to try and punch him off, especially since Lelouch would probably go over the balustrade. Then again, Rivalz was close enough to stop him even if the guard seemed to be mad at Lelouch. Suzaku eyed the sword by Rivalz’s side before pushing the idea away.

He grunted in understanding, taking a step away from Lelouch. He didn’t want to be thinking about Britannia’s machinations, especially when he couldn’t do anything about it. Besides, with everything that he had heard about Japan from the gossip, Sawazaki was being rather friendly with the empire. It wasn’t his place to argue with Japan’s policy anymore.

Suzaku leaned back against the balustrade, crossing his arms over his chest. He stared out into the gardens, trying to ignore Lelouch. But that was hard when the prince was still close.

To anyone else walking out into the garden, it would probably look like they were almost friendly. Suzaku could imagine the gossip that would come out of the evening; that Lelouch and his slave had made up. It was a brilliant move, and all it took was standing next to Suzaku.

He glanced over at Lelouch, tempted to just storm away back to his room. He had never been stopped from going anywhere before, but he had never gone anywhere unescorted, there had never been a reason. He’d never been given the liberty to leave Lelouch.

Suzaku was ready to push away from the balustrade, freezing when he heard Lelouch clear his throat. He turned to glare at the prince, watching as Lelouch leaned further back on the railing. “I didn’t dismiss you.”

“You tried before.”

It took Lelouch a moment to follow what Suzaku was saying and it was a strange kind of victory to see Lelouch recoil. Suzaku had never been able to spar with words, and certainly not at the level that Lelouch could. But there were times that he could catch Lelouch off guard, just because the prince never assumed that he was more than a dumb soldier who had made the mistake of supporting the wrong side of a power struggle.

Lelouch’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to work out what to say, the time it took surprising Suzaku. Considering the rage that he had seen in Lelouch, it was amazing that the prince would hesitate at all.

By all rights, the first fifty lashes had been Lelouch’s fault and Suzaku was more than happy to give him that. The second set was a tangled mess of intention. Lelouch had wanted him punished for whatever slight the prince had imagined to his sister and Suzaku had wanted it over with. Still, Lelouch could have called a stop to it, he could have resisted the taunting. Then again, Suzaku had taunted him just because he knew that Lelouch wouldn’t resist. If there was anything that could get Lelouch, it was any mention of his sister.

Suzaku waited until Lelouch had snapped out of his shock, watching as the prince tried to scrape his dignity back together. Lelouch shoved away from the balustrade, taking a few steps away from Suzaku before turning on his heel. He watched as Lelouch walked off into the garden, amazed that Lelouch had just let him win that argument.

He took a step back himself, expecting Lelouch to wheel around and come back at him with something else about his country or his own stupid decisions. But the prince just stormed away into the garden, getting lost among the hedges.

Suzaku unclenched his fists, turning to look around to see who had witnessed the fight. He was sure that someone would mention it and expand it. He was sure that there would be some kind of story about how he had cornered Lelouch and attempted to strangle the prince and throw him over the garden wall or vice versa.

He shook his head, about to walk off to find a quiet corner to himself when Rivalz walked up to him. Suzaku stepped to the side automatically, shifting his arms so Rivalz could attach whatever chain had been brought out to take him back.

To his surprise, Rivalz didn’t do anything but stand beside him and stare off in the direction that Lelouch had walked off in. The guard dropped his hand from his sword with a long sigh, Suzaku careful to watch him out of the corner of his eye. Rivalz didn’t seem to notice, the man rubbing at his forehead even as he shook his head. “When he said that he wanted to talk to you, I thought it would be something else.”

“You knew?” Suzaku was surprised, not because Lelouch was standoffish, but more because Lelouch had talked to someone before acting. The divide of commoner and noble had never seemed to mean anything to Lelouch, but the prince seemed to prefer to keep his own council. Suzaku guessed that it was just what happened in the Britannian court.

Rivalz nodded slowly. “I drew the short straw earlier. The others got to go down to the barracks and have their own celebrations but I had to follow the prince around. Not that I mind.” Rivalz shrugged. “I can get better food up here, even if Lelouch decides to spend most of the feast in his rooms.”

“Why?”

“He was studying the guest list and the servants they brought. And then he demanded to speak to you as soon as he could get away. And then he doesn’t say anything at all.” Rivalz gave him a long look, Suzaku suspecting that the man was purposefully being obtuse. There was no way that Rivalz, who had spent so long as Lelouch’s guard, could miss something that the prince was doing. Especially not after what had happened at the hunt.

Before he could press Rivalz for more information the guard had stepped away. He disappeared into the darkness of the gardens, chasing after Lelouch. Suzaku was sure that he wouldn’t see Rivalz until he was escorted back to his room. As to when he would see Lelouch again, Suzaku didn’t know. There was probably enough going on that Charles would forget to push for Suzaku to be brought out every time Lelouch was in public. If the emperor really was planning to marry off one of his children to the Tianzi, then he wanted the ambassadors to only see the best of Britannia. A slave certainly wouldn’t be that.

Then again, Suzaku could just imagine the whispers that would follow the ambassadors back. Prince Lelouch had strange tastes, he kept to himself and to the old Roman traditions. Prince Lelouch liked the decadence and the strange habits that he had found in books. Prince Lelouch hadn’t broken any laws but he side stepped neatly around them. It was a picture that wouldn’t sit comfortably with any ruler, which meant that Charles would win a duel victory. He would get a way into the Chinese Federation and block any support that Lelouch could get, either for the throne or to continue looking for Nunnally against his father’s orders.

From everything that he could see, Lelouch had well and truly lost this battle and it had been a critical one.

Suzaku glanced off in the direction that Lelouch and Rivalz had gone before he shrugged. There wasn’t much he could do from his position, because no one would listen to him. Besides, the Chinese Federation had been courting Britannia long before Itsukushima. It would serve them right to sell their empress away only to have Britannia march in a few months later.

It was a masterful plan, and Suzaku couldn’t help a kind of horrified amazement when he thought about it. In two simple strokes, Charles had managed to expand Britannia into two countries and neither of them would fight.

Suzaku closed his eyes, exhausted by the politics that he was trying to think his way through. He wanted to push it away as something too high above him to worry about, but his fate was tied with Lelouch for better or for worse. He would have to keep watch on what Charles was doing if he didn’t want to be surprised. The last time he had been surprised, it had led to him being transported to Britannia in chains.

He sighed and opened his eyes. Around him, the sounds of the celebration continued. Suzaku wasn’t sure if the music had changed, it sounded the same to him, and the words were too similar. The singers was going on about the glory of King Arthur from the bits and pieces that he could hear. Apparently, the king was fair and generous to everyone in his land. It was obviously a bit to woo the ambassadors, if they even understood the _lai_.

Suzaku shook his head and turned to lean back on the balustrade. He scanned the outer wall, finding the points where the guards were pacing and trying to forget what Lelouch had said. The prince was wrong about him, he didn’t want to escape. There would be nowhere for him to run.

But getting away from Lelouch and the Britannian court was very tempting. It would certainly save him from being dragged around to more celebrations and being forced into situations where he would have to talk to Lelouch. He would have given anything to be allowed a single day without having to interact with the eleventh prince, just one day without scything words or backhanded insults.

He groaned and ran a hand through his hair, trying to get his mind to settle down to comfortable blankness as he waited for the celebration to end.


	10. Candle

Suzaku looked up as the door to his room opened. Two men were standing in the doorway, but Suzaku wasn’t quite able to see their faces with the torchlight behind them. He recognized the jackets of the royal guard, even if they hung suspiciously loose. Considering all of the scorn that was piled on Prince Lelouch at the moment, Suzaku was sure that Charles was shunting all of the near rejects towards him. Suzaku was surprised that Rivalz was still with the prince considering the competence he had seen from the man. Then again, deciding to stay with Lelouch was probably career suicide.

He carefully got to his feet, glancing between the two guards. They didn’t seem to mind his movement, Suzaku sure that he saw one nod in what might have been approval.

The guard crossed the room, bending down to undo his chain from the clamp on the floor. Suzaku completely expected the hard tug on the chain as soon as it was free. He moved with the pull, glancing over at the guard.

The man looked disappointed, but he didn’t linger on it. He just stared walking to the door, Suzaku trailing behind him. He didn’t tell Suzaku anything, but it didn’t matter. Lelouch was up to something, which meant that Suzaku had to be there. Although, what the prince could be doing so late at night Suzaku didn’t know. He hadn’t heard of any celebrations or meetings, but Lelouch had never been typical. For all he knew, the prince was taking the time when most other people would be asleep to take care of his own business, maybe even start another attempt to look for his sister.

Suzaku let his eyes fall partially closed, content to shuffle along after the guards. Unlike some of the ones that were usually sent to him, these guards were keeping a slow place instead of dragging him along by his neck. It probably didn’t matter considering the lateness of the hour. Suzaku was sure that, if the order hadn’t come from the emperor himself, no one would have bothered to get him in the first place.

He hid a yawn in his hands, the sound of the cuffs loud in the empty hallway. The guards didn’t turn around to look at him though, they were too busy trudging at the end of his chain and talking in low voices. For a moment, Suzaku was tempted to listen in, but he was too tired to care. The times he got to walk on a slack line were rare and he was going to enjoy being able to walk freely without being hauled forward every few steps.

The guards took the quickest route through the palace, Suzaku barely paying attention to where they were going until they turned towards the royal quarters. He perked up as they entered the hall that Lelouch had suites in. He couldn’t imagine Lelouch holding any sort of conference inside his rooms at such a late hour, which meant that he might have assumed wrong. There was every chance that the prince had sent for him especially. The thought made him uneasy.

The last time Lelouch had sent for him, it had been in the aftermath of the order to stop searching for his little sister. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch had intended to attempt to kill him in some way, but the prince had held himself back. After all, the beating had been the cause of the ban, witnessed and reported to the emperor as a reason to believe the eleventh prince would not work for Britannia’s best interests. Lelouch might be furious, but he was not stupid. He wouldn’t risk losing more by taking out his anger on Suzaku again.

He was still puzzling over the summons when the guards abruptly opened the doors to the prince’s rooms. Suzaku took a step back, staring into the sumptuous rooms. It was rare that the guards didn’t knock, even if they were visiting a disgraced prince. Disgraced or not Lelouch was still royalty and someone to be respected. That and Suzaku doubted that the guards that had chosen to remain with Lelouch would be so obviously rude.

Suzaku stayed back as the guards stepped into the room. He couldn’t see Lelouch from where he was standing, but he could hear the prince’s voice. Lelouch still sounded groggy, like he had just woken up. It was certainly not what Suzaku expected when he had been escorted from his room.

A tug on the chain brought him stumbling into the room. Suzaku carefully kept his hands in front of him as he staggered forward under the pull. Even then he was trying to think it way through what was happening.

His gaze darted to where Lelouch was lounging on the couch close to the fireplace. The prince had propped himself up on his elbows, but it was clear that he had been asleep when the guards had barged in. Lelouch’s eyes widened when he saw Suzaku, which was enough of an answer for him.

Suzaku looked away, taking in the book that was on the floor and the glass of wine that was sitting to the side. He focused on the glass, searching for any kind of container, but he wasn’t surprised when he couldn’t find it. If things were going the way he was thinking, then the container would have been removed and disposed of by now. Any evidence that would be left in the room would be purposely planted.

He lifted his chin as one of the guards came back to unhook the chain from where it met the collar. Suzaku let him, his attention caught by the sound of someone else entering the door. The third guard stayed close to the door, Suzaku listening as they swung it closed. He didn’t hear the sound of the lock sliding into place, which meant that they were confident.

His gaze darted to the door that led to the balcony. He couldn’t see it because of the curtains that had been drawn across it, but he was sure that it was locked and he doubted that he would be able to haul Lelouch along after him.

Suzaku shifted in place, trying to look as confused as Lelouch when the prince finally gathered his wits together. “What’s the meaning of this?”

The guards closest to him stepped away, Suzaku hearing the soft sound of fabric moving. He risked a glance at the two of them, frowning when he saw the clothes that they were wearing, the _hakama_ more obvious now without the royal guard jacket. The firelight glinted over the two swords that they wore at their sides, the two of them missing their scabbards. Nearly as damning were the _kamon_ on their _haori_ , the phoenix rising in flight.

One of the guards bowed, Suzaku marking the way that he went a little too far down to be bowing to someone of Lelouch’s rank. The man looked up, meeting Lelouch’s gaze as he spoke in halting Japanese. _“We have come to free our prince.”_

Lelouch only had the time to sit up, but the prince was obviously still trying to gather himself together. Suzaku was faster, especially since the guards had apparently assumed that he would just stand still despite the insult to his family name.

He threw himself into the side, knocking the man off balance. From there it was easier to step around the man and draw the katana out of his _obi_. The entire _obi_ fell open at the tug, the kimono gaping open to reveal another layer and the trousers that the man was still wearing. Suzaku snorted and slammed the end of the katana into the man’s face.

The guard cursed in Britannian and fell down clutching at his face. Suzaku was already on the move before the man hit the floor, stepping to his left to jab his elbow into the second guard’s side. The man turning towards him, already fumbling for the swords by his side. The guard managed to pull out his katana, but the _ko-wakizashi_ fell on the floor between them.

Suzaku swept out his foot, not caring that the guard jumped back. He hadn’t been aiming for the guard, but for the short sword that had fallen. It was easy to sweep the _ko-wakizashi_ back under the couch where the guard couldn’t reach for it without bending over. From the way that the guard was glaring at him, the man didn’t even know that his advantage had been lost.

In fact, the man was leering over Suzaku’s shoulder, a clear give away if Suzaku hadn’t heard the third guard cursing as he tried to wiggle out of his Britannian guard uniform. From the sound, he had plenty of time to start on the first guard, especially considering their unfamiliarity with their clothes and weapons.

Suzaku pulled himself back into the proper stance, feeling his muscles protest from long disuse. He had practiced under Tohdoh until his old teacher had been sent to Aomori-ken in the north. Even then he had practiced, at least until the day that killed his father. No one in Britannia would trust a slave with a weapon and Suzaku hadn’t bothered to try after his back had been shredded. It was hard to hold his position as it was. Even with what Cecile had done to help him it felt like the whole thing was aflame.

He took a deep breath to center himself, only allowing himself that moment before he stepped forward and struck.

He had been fourteen when he had ridden off to war with his father, fifteen when he had ridden back to Edo in victory. He had learned to fight from the moment he had been able to hold a sword. Tohdoh had said that the song of the steel was in their blood. Suzaku could hear the steel of the katana ringing as he moved.

The guard hurried raised his own sword in a block, but that was for a Britannian sword. That was for their bludgeoning weapons. Suzaku moved past him with an easy cut, dipping his shoulder slightly into the motion to put power behind it. He heard the man cry out, the sound enough to snap him out of what he was doing and pull the blade before it could be a killing blow.

Suzaku pivoted on the ball of his foot, staring at the man crumpled on the floor. He stared at the blood spreading out on the carpet, some part of his mind taking in the differences of the situation even while he stared in the blood at horror. The floor of the castle in Edo had been wood, the blood still moved the same way. He took a step back, expecting to see the blood creeping onto the hem of his kimono. Except that he was wearing the trousers, he hadn’t worn a kimono for months. Even with the Kururugi _kamon_ on the fabric, it was just wrong enough that he could call himself back.

He wasn’t in Edo, he was in Pendragon. Lelouch was still on the couch, looking just a little bit more awake, but he wasn’t moving fast enough.

Suzaku cursed under his breath, glancing over at the only guard left standing.

The third guard hadn’t moved too far from the door, apparently surprised that he had even bothered to act. Suzaku glared at them, ready to make another charge when something knocked into his legs.

He went down with a shout, Suzaku automatically kicking at the guard that had attacked him. He saw a flash of darker cloth, Suzaku aiming his next kick there.

The guard went down with a bellow, Suzaku scrambling up to his feet. He fumbled with his hold on his sword, having to hop awkwardly when the guard tried to grab onto his foot. Suzaku kicked him again, turning around in time to swing his sword at the guard that he had clubbed in the face.

The guard tried to dodge to the side, but he was not good at fighting against the Japanese style either. The sword cut across his neck, Suzaku leaning back away from the spray of blood.

The man clawed as his neck as he fell to the ground, Suzaku trying to ignore the horror that was welling up in him. It was all defense, he was just trying to keep Lelouch alive. He was trying to keep _himself_ alive.

He shook his head at the thought, but he was unwilling to let go of the katana. There were still some scraps of honor left in him, which meant that he would fight to defend Lelouch. Nunnally would never know what he had done, but at least he could make up for taking her away from her brother and getting him to this point. Lelouch could live another day and one of his mistakes would be made up for.

Suzaku stepped over the guard’s body, advancing on the last one. The guard hadn’t drawn either of his swords yet, which meant that Suzaku had the advantage. The guard was quickly stripping out of the layers of kimono and dropping them to the floor. Suzaku heard the clatter of blades hitting the ground, watching as the guard winced when he realized his mistake. The guard was completely unarmed now, unless he wanted to throw the garments at him.

He stepped carefully to the side, ready to line up his next strike. He had the time to with the only other living guard curled on his injury. With the soft moans that he could hear, the man wouldn’t be trying to get to his feet for a while.

Suzaku kept his movements small, the guard watching them in confusion. The man was probably waiting for the moment that Suzaku would start his attack. He grinned at the man, moving through the starting move of one of the _kata_ that Tohdoh had taught him many years ago. It was a simple matter to switch tracks, turning the start of the practice form into an attack.

He saw the moment the guard realized what he was doing, the man throwing his arms up in front of his neck. Suzaku cursed as his blade slashed across the man’s arms. He saw the white flash of bone, but he was already reversing his stroke. He didn’t have time to play around, even if he had wanted to. There had been enough noise to draw Lelouch’s regular guards, whoever they were, and he would be found armed. That would be enough evidence for any Britannian, and Suzaku wouldn’t be able to count on Lelouch.

His fingers loosened their hold on the katana for a moment before he shook his head. He would finish this and deal with whatever happened later. It was easier to defend Lelouch when his mind wasn’t constantly torn between just letting the guards finish him off or making sure that none of them got to the prince.

The guard lunged forward as he started to make his next cut, the man grabbing onto his wrists. Suzaku tried to jerk free, but the man was larger than he was. He struggled to pull away, staring up into the slightly maddened grin on the guard’s face as the man hauled them over to the fireplace. Suzaku tried to dig his heels in, but he only managed to help the guard skid him across the carpet.

He jerked his arms up, surprised when the guard let him. Then, the guard slammed his wrist against the mantel of the fireplace. The blow was awkward, but it stung enough to get him to let go. The guard grinned and grabbed onto the hilt of the katana, giving the sword a sharp tug to pull it out of Suzaku’s hands.

The man tossed the sword carelessly across the room. Suzaku watched it go helplessly. Tohdoh would have been disappointed by how easily he had been disarmed.

Suzaku turned to look back at the guard as the man laughed. The effort it took the man to raise his arms was obvious, the one cut to the bone drifting lower even as the guard spoke. “Can’t use your fancy sword now. Fight like a man.”

The guard flung an awkward punch, the man screaming even as he moved.

Suzaku stumbled back, weaving between the awkward blows. The guard bounced around him, not giving him a chance to move away from the corner where the elaborate fireplace met the wall. He stepped back, feeling his foot get wedged in the small corner.

He braced himself there, waiting for the next blow before ducking under it. He rushed away from the guard, calculating the distance between the man and the katana before abruptly changing his mind. The guard would be able to grab at him before he could snatch up the sword. Besides, it was hard to resist the impulsive boy he had been before Tohdoh had taught him otherwise.

After all, the man had told him to fight like a man.

Suzaku turned around, covering the distance that he had put between himself and the guard in a few quick strides. The guard backed away, obviously waiting for the next punch to be thrown. The space gave him time to jump off the ground, Suzaku twisting around in midair. For a single blissful heartbeat, he was unimpeded in the air, and then his foot knocked against the guard’s head.

The guard was propelled to the side, the man hitting his head against the mantle with a disgusting squish.

Suzaku stumbled when he landed, flailing his arms for balance. He fetched up against the wall, Suzaku bracing himself there for a moment as he panted for breath.

He didn’t dare look over where the last guard was slumped against the side of the fireplace. He swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment to center himself. A shout had him jerking upright.

The last living guard had managed to get to his feet again, one hand pressed against his side and the other was holding the katana up in the air. He was taking steady steps towards where Lelouch was sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Suzaku wasn’t sure how the prince had gotten there, only that Lelouch had slid down to get away from the fight.

He pushed away from the wall, running to try and cover the distance even as his mind worked out what would happen. He would be too late, the guard was already swinging down towards the prince and Lelouch looked like he was in no shape to defend himself.

The guard seemed to come to the same conclusion, the man shouting in stumbling Japanese. _“Down with Britannia! Long live Japan!”_

Lelouch glared up at the guard before lunging to his feet with a surprising speed. Suzaku got a glimpse of light flashing off something in Lelouch’s hand before the prince plunged the _ko-wakizashi_ into the guard’s heart.

The man jerked, the katana falling from his hands. Suzaku darted to the side to avoid the falling sword, the motion bringing him close enough to the prince to hear the words that Lelouch hissed to the guard. _“Too much talking.”_

Lelouch braced himself to pull the short sword out, the prince grunting with effort. The _ko-wakizashi_ didn’t budge, Lelouch making a disgusted sound before stepping away from the guard. The man clutched at his chest as he dropped to the floor, Suzaku listening to the rattle of his breath as it left him.

He turned to look at Lelouch, watching the prince almost drunkenly sway in place. He frowned and stepped forward, reaching out for Lelouch but stopping short of just touching him. It didn’t look like Lelouch would appreciate the contact, especially after the guards tried to kill him.

Lelouch swayed in place for a moment, staring at his bloody hands. Suzaku fully expected the prince to fall back onto the couch, but Lelouch turned to look at him.

The prince fixed him with a serious look. “Why?”

“What?” It was almost a shock to hear Lelouch speak Britannian after hearing him speak Japanese. Suzaku was almost tempted to speak his native language, just to hear Lelouch speaking it.

If Lelouch noticed his confusion, the prince didn’t show it. Lelouch just gestured at the three bodies in the room. “You didn’t have to do this. Why bother saving me?”

“Because it was an insult to my family.” The excuse was the easiest one to get out. Suzaku swallowed, looking down at the man that Lelouch had stabbed.

Now that he wasn’t glancing around frantically, he could see that the kimonos weren’t cut right and the _kamon_ on them weren’t done right either. The phoenix lacked the long tail that his family sigil had, it looked more like a hawk than a phoenix, at least to his eyes. But Suzaku was sure that it wouldn’t have mattered if the other guards had found them in the room. They would have seen three Japanese samurai wearing the Kururugi crest, Lelouch’s body and Suzaku. The conclusion wouldn’t have been hard to draw. It still wouldn’t be hard to come to, especially with the two of them covered in blood.

He shook his head and stepped back from Lelouch. “I don’t know why Lord Sawazaki would do this.”

“He wouldn’t.” Lelouch looked up from his hands, frowning like the words were hard to get out. “I haven’t threatened Japan, even over Nunnally. The only one I threatened was the emperor.” Lelouch shook his head, nearly falling over. “No, it wasn’t your shogun. They called you a prince.”

The word had slipped past him in the midst of battle. Suzaku stared at Lelouch for a moment before nodding. It all made sense, even more so than the idea that Sawazaki would send people to make his life miserable. As far as his father’s council was concerned, he was well taken care of. But the conclusion that Lelouch was spelling out for him was equally as unbelievable. “Your father…”

“Why not?” This time Lelouch did start falling backwards. Suzaku was quick to catch him, helping the prince lower himself back down to the couch. Lelouch leaned back against the back of the couch, looking like he was about to fall asleep. The prince frowned and reached out to grab his glass. The prince stared into it before dumping the wine out on the floor. He tossed the glass away a moment later, using his free hand to make a vague motion. “Water.”

Suzaku glanced around the room but didn’t see any carafe. If there had been anything, it had probably been removed. He looked back at Lelouch, not surprised that the prince seemed to have forgotten about the order. Whatever drug they had slipped into Lelouch’s wine was strong, because the prince already looked half asleep.

He sighed and crouched next to the couch, surprised when Lelouch smiled at him. “My father doesn’t like me much. Everyone says we’re too much alike. I’m a threat to him.”

“If you would stop being obvious about it.”

Lelouch sighed and waved him off again. “You have to be loud here, or else you will be forgotten. I don’t want to be forgotten, not when it could lead to something like this.”

“Well it happened anyway.”

Lelouch hummed, his eyes slipping shut. The prince jerked upright a moment later, scrambling with one hand at the back of the couch. He gritted his teeth, focusing on Suzaku’s face. “I can’t stop you from leaving.”

Suzaku shrugged. It had never been his plan to leave. Escape would get him nowhere except execution, but he couldn’t just leave Lelouch like this. The prince would probably get his head chopped off before the guards came back around.

He sighed and crossed his legs so he could sit on the floor comfortably. He fully expected the surprised look that Lelouch shot him, but not the almost tender touch to his cheek.

He shivered at the slide of blood over his cheek, just managing to hold himself still. That seemed to please Lelouch because the prince smiled.

“I don’t understand you.” Lelouch’s voice was soft, almost fond. “You could run.”

“Where would I go?”

That got a laugh from Lelouch. “True. I just never expected you to be loyal, not after…” Lelouch seemed to lose his train of thought, his hand sliding from Suzaku’s cheek. “You’re like the knights from the old stories of Britannia. Lancelot and all of them. I like that better.”

“The stories?”

“No, Lancelot. It’s better than Z01.”

Suzaku stared up at Lelouch, not sure how to take the rambling. On the one hand, he was almost insulted that Lelouch was presuming to rename him. But, on the other hand, his name had been taken away from him long before he had been hauled onto the ship bound for Britannia. At least the name Lancelot meant something to someone.

He shifted slightly in place, ignoring the way that Lelouch’s fingers twitched on his shoulder. By the sound of his breathing, the prince was asleep, which meant that he had to be on guard until someone investigated the sounds. Suzaku was sure that he would probably be hauled off and locked into his room again, but even that was nothing compared to the strangely content feeling that he had.

Suzaku frowned, trying to piece the feeling together before giving up. There was still plenty of time for more assassins to come after Lelouch, so he had to be on his guard.


	11. Knight Errant

Suzaku hadn’t expected to be summoned to Lelouch’s rooms. The prince had seemed to be more than happy to avoid him in the days since the assassination attempt. Suzaku wasn’t sure if it was because whatever drug they had laced Lelouch’s drink with had confused events or because he had taken the chance that Charles would have had to offer to him.

If he had nearly been killed by so called Japanese assassins, it would have been foolish to push the same restraints on Lelouch. The court would have been in an uproar if Suzaku had been trailing after Lelouch, if not because of the safety of the prince, then for their own safety. If there was one thing that he had learned about the Britannian court, it was that they wasted no time on jumping on scandals and drawing them out.

Either way, the situation was confusing and Suzaku had had enough of those to last him a lifetime. When it came to Lelouch, every situation was confusing. Suzaku was sure that not all situations called for such convoluted schemes and plans. Then again, the assassination was a compelling reason to think that way.

He shook his head, taking the chance to look around the rooms. He had only been inside them twice, once when Lelouch had berated him about his sister and once during the assassination attempt.

Nothing much had changed, although there were stains on the carpet and on the mantle of the fireplace. It was a constant reminder of what had happened, and Suzaku had fully expected Lelouch to have rolled up the carpet or covered all the bloodstains. Instead, they were out in the open.

Suzaku caught a flash of light off the _ko-wakizashi_ that was sitting on the side table where the goblet had been the night of the assassination. He was tempted to walk forward and look at, just to see if the weapon had been sent to Britannia, but he held himself back. He could just imagine what would happen if the prince or anyone else came into the room when he was holding a weapon. He had already been kept chained in his room, the length of chain shortened so he couldn’t get close to the door or windows. The manacles around his hands hand been chained together again, Suzaku always surprised by the unfamiliar sound of the jingle.

He turned in place, glancing over at the main doors. There were two guards stationed outside, he had been walked past them when he had been brought in. Between the two guards at the door and the two that had escorted him there, he hadn’t seen any of Lelouch’s men. Suzaku had assumed that Rivalz and the others were sticking close to Lelouch, but that would have put Rivalz in the room with him in the room and there was no one there, just the two royal guards at the door.

Suzaku frowned, glancing around the room. It wasn’t until he was starting to move towards the windows at the back of the room that he realized that he was sweeping the room.

He stopped abruptly in front of the fireplace, purposefully holding himself still. He was acting like there would still be some danger, something that he couldn’t imagine. The emperor’s guards just wouldn’t stand by while one of the emperor’s children were in danger, even if Lelouch had been one causing trouble.

Then again, the assassins hadn’t been Japanese. They had tried their best, to the point where Suzaku was sure that it would have fooled Britannians, especially if all of their accoutrements had been displayed and not the bodies. Everyone would have been convinced that the Japanese had tried to kill their prince, and Suzaku was sure that they would have turned on him. It wouldn’t be too far of a jump for people willing to think that he would try to kill Lelouch, especially after he had been beaten by the prince.

He glanced back towards the doors into the hallway, trying to catch the shifting of the guards when he heard the doors to the other rooms in the suite open.

Suzaku turned around, swallowing as he watched Lelouch walk out of his bedroom. The prince wasn’t wrapped up in all of his usual layers, looking strangely casual in just a loose shirt and trousers. Suzaku dropped his gaze away, fully expecting Lelouch to laugh at him. Instead he just heard Lelouch make a pleased noise.

He glanced up as he heard Lelouch walk around the room, glancing between the prince and the door as Lelouch went to sit down on the sofa in front of the fireplace. It was almost a mirror to the way that Lelouch had looked at the last time he had been brought to the rooms, except that Lelouch was wide awake, and there was something wary in his eyes. Suzaku didn’t know if the wariness was directed at him, and he didn’t get the chance to decide because Lelouch leaned back and spoke.

“Father is sending me away.”

“What?”                                                                                     

Lelouch frowned at the interruption, but his expression smoothed a moment later. “Father has decided that Pendragon is too dangerous for me considering that someone tried to kill me a few nights ago. He didn’t quite say it, but he almost apologized for putting my life at risk, but that might have only been because it was a public audience. It did one thing, it proved that I was still alive and it answered the question of why Father gave me you.

“Apparently, you were a multipurpose tool for my father.” Lelouch held up his fingers as he spoke, counting the reasons off. “You were supposed to be a humiliation for me, which did work initially. Second, you were supposed to have incited me to kill you far sooner, which would have given him a myriad of excuses to question my mental state. If either of those failed, you were to be a convenient scapegoat for my assassination.”

Suzaku gaped at the prince, trying to keep up with the twists and turns of Lelouch’s mind. It took him a moment to catch up, Suzaku glancing back at the stain on the mantle to hid is confusion. Even then he was sure that he wasn’t doing a good job of hiding it. Suzaku shifted in place. “What about Guinevere? Wouldn’t accusing Japan ruin all of his work?”

“Maybe, but I doubt that Father will accuse them outright. He more likely to spin it as something that I did. I have been annoying the shogun for seven years now. It’s easy enough to say that it’s personal. Then all your shogun has to do is apologize. Considering the alternatives, an apology wouldn’t be too much.”

Suzaku bit his lip, not sure if he agreed. Then again, his father would have been the one reluctant to apologize. Sawazaki would have more pressure from his council because they had been the ones to put him on the throne. Emperor Charles might made the apology worth their while, but it was something that wouldn’t be forgotten easily. And that wasn’t the strangest part of the whole thing.

“Why does your father want you dead?”

He had hoped to figure out a better way to ask the question, especially when Lelouch visibly flinched. The prince recovered quickly, waving a hand lazily. “There are many reasons. The Britannian royal family has never been the best example of a harmonious family. It’s practically tradition for us to kill each other off. My father was too young to join in most of the killing, but he made up for it. He killed his own brother. What’s a son compared to that?”

Suzaku stared at Lelouch in horror, but he was sure that he had no room to speak on how horrible familicide was, not when he had killed his own father. But the thought was no less horrifying.

He had always assumed that the wealth of heirs had been because of treaties or a defense against losing them like Clovis had been lost at Isukushima. After all, childhood was a dangerous time, surely the emperor would have rather be prepared than seeing his entire family die off. But, if the emperor had known what would happen then there was no reason to have so many children unless Charles had _wanted_ his children to fight each other and die in the attempt.

Some of his horror must have showed on his face because Lelouch laughed, the prince leaning forward. Suzaku was tempted to take a step back, but Lelouch stopped just before pushing off of the couch. The prince looked up at his face, examining it closely before shaking his head. “It’s a good thing you were just a soldier, you show everything you’re thinking on your face. It’s a shame that you managed to get so close to the new shogun. They must have known that you would have told the truth, which is why you ended up with me. You would have given it all away.”

Lelouch laughed and leaned back on his sofa, Suzaku recoiling at the sound. That just made Lelouch harder, the prince shaking his head. “I can see it now. You’re thinking that this is one of the horrible barbarian things that Britannians do.”

“No.”

Lelouch raised an eyebrow before shrugging, looking too pleased with himself. Suzaku was more than happy to let Lelouch think that he had gotten the upper hand.

If he was honest with himself, Lelouch was right. It was just the horrible thing that he would have expected from Britannia. But, now that he had spent time in Britannia and seen how the royal family had interacted with each other, he was no longer surprised. If Charles was encouraging competition between his children, all of the petty rivalries and the way that they lunged for every opportunity made sense. They were building their own small kingdoms for when the emperor died. A show of strength was the only way that they would stay alive and that was a horrible way to live.

Suzaku turned away from Lelouch, surprised when the prince didn’t call him back. He stayed away from the doors and windows of the room, preferring to circle the walls. Suzaku wasn’t looking for anything, he was just enjoying the freedom of movement. His hands might have still been secured together, but he could walk for more than three steps without feeling a yank on his arms.

He made two full passes around the room before Lelouch cleared his throat. Suzaku looked back at the prince, continuing his circuit of the room when the prince didn’t demand that he come over. Lelouch seemed more than happy to allow him to keep pacing.

The prince watched him for a moment more before lounging back on the sofa. “Since you’ve been kept away, I haven’t been able to thank you for what you did.”

“ _Thank_ me?”

“Don’t act so surprised.” The way that Lelouch snapped out the words made him sound like the man that Suzaku had grown used to. As quick as it appeared, it was gone, Lelouch slipping beyond his line of sight as the prince settled back. “Considering everything that has happened, I expected you to help them or run. Then again, I shouldn’t have been surprised because this is the second time you’ve saved my life.”

Suzaku opened his mouth to deny it, but he quickly snapped it shut. He had helped Lelouch before, although he hadn’t been looking to save the prince. He had just wanted to spare the horse a horrible injury, but he guessed that Lelouch would look on it favorably, especially since he hadn’t asked for any favor. In fact, Suzaku had seemed to ignore most of the things that would have led to any other member of the Britannian court pushing for favors.

He finally settled for a shrug. “Where could I have run to? You told me that there wasn’t any way out without being caught once.”

“I didn’t expect you to just believe me.”

“Why not? You know more about Pendragon than me. Besides, where would I go?”

Lelouch lifted his head up to look over the back of his couch at him. Suzaku waited as the prince’s gaze skimmed over him before the prince laid back down with a hum.

Suzaku was glad that Lelouch didn’t push him, because he didn’t want to explain his reasoning. After all, Lelouch had been the one to say that he was too honest to be kept in Japan. If that wasn’t a reason not to go back then Suzaku didn’t know what other one that Lelouch would accept without the whole story coming out. That and he didn’t know why he hadn’t left Lelouch.

It would have been better if he had snuck back to his rooms and waited for the news to come to him. It certainly would have been better than waiting for Rivalz and the other guards to haul him back to the rooms and then the silence that had followed. All he knew was that it hadn’t seemed right to leave Lelouch on his own so soon after an assassination attempt and certainly not when he had been drugged. Considering what Lelouch had just told him, Suzaku wasn’t sure that Charles would have left his son alone.

He slowed his circuits, swallowing nervously as he came back around to the front of the sofa. To his surprise, Lelouch didn’t comment on it, the prince was too busy staring up at the ceiling of his room. The prince glanced over at him, but Lelouch didn’t bother to sit up. He just draped his hands over his stomach, drumming them against his shirt. “That just takes me back to why I asked you here. My father wants me to get away to somewhere safe and there have been reports of trouble at the border. My mother came from one of the border towns, so he thinks I’ll be safe there.”

“But you said he wants to kill you.”

“So you see my problem.” Lelouch turned his head to smile at Suzaku. “Father just wants me far enough away for it not to be connected to him. After all, things can happen on the road or on the border. Everyone knows that only barbarians live in the hills.” Lelouch made a face before sitting up abruptly. “I will travel with my guard, which is only a handful of men. Gino will come along too, his father doesn’t want him back at home and Gino is already ready for experience as the youngest Knight of the Round. As such, my father has been generous and decided to allow a troop of men under the Knight of Ten to accompany me down to my mother’s holdings. Considering his usual generosity, I’d prefer to have someone else.”

Suzaku stared at him in shock, watching as Lelouch nodded. “I know. But I tried to think of another choice, but you’ve been frustratingly useful. I cannot think of one time that you’ve raised your hand against me. You’ve been completely steadfast and I’d prefer it otherwise. If I had any other choice, I’d leave you behind.”

“You still can.”

Lelouch huffed. “I’d prefer to have another set of eyes with me and you seem competent enough.”

Suzaku hesitated for a moment before dipping his head. “Thank you.”

Lelouch waved the words away, his hand quickly going back to resting on his stomach. “I know the both of us wish that it could be someone else, but you’re one of the few people in the world who doesn’t want to kill me. I know I don’t have the best record between us, but I think we can come to some kind of agreement that will please you.” Lelouch paused, his fingers twining around each other before he raised his hand, waving it as he spoke. “No matter what, you will be released from the manacles when we ride out, there’s no need for you to have them while we’re out. And, no matter what, you will be formally released when we reach the border.”

Suzaku raised an eyebrow. “Immediately?”

That brought Lelouch to a stop, his fingers wavering in the air for a moment before he made a motion with them, dismissing Suzaku’s question. “As soon as it’s settled. That won’t take long, just as soon as the raids are slowed or until I hold the forts. I have no interest in keeping you longer than I have to. Once you’re free you can go wherever you want, run back to Japan for all I care, but you will be free. I’ll swear that on anything you want.”

“Your sister’s name.”

Lelouch sat upright at the mention of Nunnally. For a moment, Suzaku was sure that he had pushed too far. Lelouch glared at him for a full minute before the prince gave him a firm nod. “I will release you when I’m safe on the border, I swear it on Nunnally’s name.”

Suzaku eyed Lelouch carefully. He couldn’t easily tell when Lelouch was lying, but he doubted that Lelouch would throw around his sister’s name so callously. It was the best he could get and more than he had thought. Then again, the promise of freedom to go back to Japan didn’t mean much to him. There was nothing in Japan for him anymore, nothing but a trial and death, both of which some part of him longed for. But he couldn’t help thinking about what Lelouch had said.

Charles would use and send his children off to die, Suzaku had seen it three times now. Clovis had been a casualty and Lelouch had almost been one. Nunnally was another, one that he was directly at fault for. He had spent his days lying on his stomach thinking about her, because she had been the reason that Lelouch had finally reacted instead of ignoring him. Lelouch’s sister had disappeared into the complicated wrangling between Britannia and Japan and hadn’t come out. Suzaku didn’t know where to look, but he was sure that there had to be clue to set him on the trail.

If he was going to be set free in Japan, he could at least right one of his wrongs. Suzaku was sure that he wouldn’t be able to travel through Japan silently, someone was bound to notice him. He didn’t care, as long as he could get Nunnally to her brother. After that, he was more than willing to give himself up to whatever Kirihara and the others wanted to do with him. He would never be able to do that sitting in Pendragon, it was more likely that he would be used in another one of Charles’ plans, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted a part of it.

Suzaku considered Lelouch for a moment more before nodding again. “Fine.”

Lelouch gave him a smile, Suzaku not sure if he’d managed to step from one trap into another. The smile looked more like a shadow of Lelouch’s usual grin. Lelouch eyed him a moment more before sitting back. Suzaku wanted to take that as a dismissal, but he remained in place. He had already pushed Lelouch, and he didn’t want to encourage anything else.

The prince studied him for a moment more before standing up, Suzaku automatically taking a step back. Lelouch frowned at the move but didn’t move further forward. One hand twitched by his side, Lelouch studying him for a moment more before he gave Suzaku a slow nod. “I’ll make the arrangements then, Lancelot.”

Suzaku tensed at the name, his eyes widening as he looked at Lelouch. He hadn’t thought that Lelouch would remember much of what had happened considering the drug. Most of it had been random babbling, save for the one time that Lelouch had seemed to wake up enough to stab the man who had tried to kill him.

The prince didn’t give any indication that he noticed Suzaku’s shock. He was already moving to the door.

Lelouch swung it open, giving the royal guards there an annoyed look before waving one arm. “Bring me Rivalz.” The man started to sputter out something, Suzaku catching the start of some excuse before Lelouch cut him off. “I need him to check over some last minute details.”

The men muttered and rushed away, Lelouch watching them go. The prince remained by the door, lifting a hand to wave Suzaku over.

It was habit to obey, Suzaku walking over to the door. He stopped just behind Lelouch, watching as the prince leaned against the frame of the door. The prince looked him over, the gaze completely lacking the usual annoyance that Suzaku had come to associate with Lelouch.

He didn’t have long to think over it before Rivalz came running to the doors. The guard didn’t bother to bow, Rivalz just giving Lelouch an expectant look.

Lelouch didn’t seem too insulted, he just motioned towards Suzaku, his hand hovering over Suzaku’s shoulder like he was going to pat it. Lelouch held it there for a moment before pulling it back. “There’s been a change to our guard. We’re bringing Lancelot along.”

Suzaku startled at the name again, too used to hearing it alternately praised and cursed. When he looked back at Rivalz, the guard’s expression hadn’t wavered. Rivalz didn’t even look surprised by the change in plans, he just grinned and motioned for Suzaku to come out of the room. “Come on then, we’ll have to hurry to get you ready to ride out.”

“We’re leaving today?” He pivoted to look at Lelouch, watching the prince raise one shoulder in a shrug.

“Why waste time? I don’t want to stay here and I know you certainly don’t.”

Suzaku wanted to argue that it would take more time than that to gather a force together, but he kept his mouth shut. It had been days since the assassination, days that he had been kept out of the loop of the court. Lelouch had probably started on his plans as soon as he had heard the news. Suzaku had been a last minute addition, something else to throw Charles off. Knowing Lelouch it was probably a reaction to the news that Lelouch would have to travel with the Knight of Ten.

He sighed and nodded, stepping out of the room. He fully expected Rivalz to attach the longer chain to his manacles. To his surprise, Rivalz just turned on his heel and started walking down the hall. Suzaku scurried to follow him, not daring to look back until he was comfortably caught up.

Suzaku glanced over his shoulder towards Lelouch’s room, surprised to see that the prince was still watching him. The joviality was gone from Lelouch’s face, his expression settling into something more familiar. Lelouch was probably planning his next move even while Suzaku was walking away.

He shivered and turned his attention back to Rivalz, speeding up to keep up with the guard as he was led through the confusing maze of palace corridors.

* * *

“So, Lancelot?”

The question was almost lost in the clang of metal. Suzaku leaned away as the blacksmith set his chisel against the gap in the manacles and knocked the hammer against the end of the chisel. Suzaku felt the manacle around his right wrist loosen, the second stroke freeing him completely.

He immediately jerked his hand back, resisting the urge to rub at his chafed wrist. He set the other manacle on the anvil, letting the blacksmith lean over it as he searched for the pin that held the whole thing closed.

It was only when the man had lifted up his hand to turn his wrist that he looked back up to where Rivalz was poking around the shop. The guard carefully didn’t touch anything, but his gaze lingered on some of the more expensive items. Suzaku watched Rivalz reach out for a sword only to jerk his hand back.

Rivalz turned around to look at him, giving him an expectant look. “Lancelot?”

Suzaku raised his right shoulder in a shrug, not wanting to disturb the blacksmith. “You’ll have to ask Prince Lelouch.”

“I think I know why. I just thought you had something to say about it.”

“It’s the name of a fictional knight.”

“But it’s not your name.”

Suzaku shook his head, looking down as the blacksmith popped the pin out. The man returned his hand to the anvil, Suzaku waiting until the second manacle had been knocked off to answer. “No, it’s not. But it’s better than a number.”

Rivalz hummed like he wasn’t satisfied with the answer, but he didn’t push. Suzaku was glad for that, because he wasn’t sure how he could spin out excuses before he tangled the story around himself. Rivalz didn’t have Lelouch’s honed intelligence, but Suzaku doubted that the man was stupid. Lelouch and his guard might not be talking to each other about what Suzaku told them, but Suzaku was sure that Rivalz would tell Lelouch any discrepancy.

He rubbed his wrists, watching as the smith whisked off the manacles. They were probably valuable scrap now and Suzaku was more than willing to let the smith have them. He had no more used for them.

He reached up to touch his collar, running his finger around the top edge until he found the pin there. Suzaku dug the edge of his nail under it before letting go of his collar. It would come off soon enough, all he had to do was wait until they got to the border.

Suzaku turned to walk out of the blacksmith’s building, keeping close to the outer wall as he looked out into the courtyard.

Beyond the buildings that were clustered close to the wall around the imperial palace was chaos. Suzaku watched guards and pages rush around with messages, bags and leading horses as they tried to get the eleventh prince ready to ride out. He scanned over the group, picking out the red lightning bolt of Lelouch’s sigil among the twined and crowned lion and snake of Britannia. The former were outnumbered badly, Suzaku shaking his head.

He would have expected Lelouch to have gathered more followers, especially since the prince knew what was going on. Then again, Lelouch could have thrown all of his resources into finding Nunnally. That sounded more like the prince than just unpreparedness. That didn’t stop Suzaku from counting the numbers of Lelouch’s guards and wincing. With the way that the numbers were falling, Charles wouldn’t have to wait until Lelouch got to the border to kill him. It would be easy enough to do it on the road. It was no wonder that Lelouch had called on him, even if the addition of one more soldier didn’t seem like it would help too much.

Suzaku leaned his shoulders back against the wattle and daub of the blacksmith’s shop. Some of his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Rivalz came to stand beside him. The guard glanced over the troop assembling before he shook his head. “It’s going to be tough. I’m hope you’re good at fighting.”

“I’ll get by.”

Rivalz nodded, Suzaku surprised by how easily the guard trusted him. He was certain that Rivalz had no reason to extend that trust, especially considering all that Lelouch had probably been through over the last seven years.

He watched the guard out of his corner of his eye for a moment before giving up on trying to figure him out. There were bound to be Britannians that weren’t always plotting and scheming; Rivalz just might be the only one that he had managed to find.

Suzaku rubbed at his wrists, exploring the callouses and raw edges where the skin hadn’t quite gotten the chance to heal. It was tempting to seek out Cecile to see what she had to say about them, but he doubted that he would be able to find her in the mess. That didn’t stop him from rising onto his toes to try and catch a glimpse of her, but he could only see the milling guards.

He rocked back down, glancing over at Rivalz again. There were many things that he wanted to ask the guard, but he doubted that Rivalz really knew. It was more like Lelouch to keep his own council, which meant that they wouldn’t hear exactly where or how they were going until they were on the road. Still, there were plenty of other questions that he could ask the guard.

“So, why Lancelot?”

Rivalz laughed and stretched his arms over his head. “Oh, it’s one of Lelouch’s favorite stories. When I first came into his service when he came up to Pendragon he was always reading the stories. Everyone says they come from the hills. I’ve heard enough of them that swear that Arthur’s magician is locked up in a cave in the foothills and the grave for Lancelot and Guinevere is somewhere in Aries by the fort. That sort of thing. I think it kept him from being homesick.”

“And Lancelot?”

“The best of the knights.”

Suzaku laughed at that, shaking his head. “I’m not even a knight.”

Rivalz shrugged. “I’ve learned not to question Lelouch’s decisions. His mind can sometimes work strangely. Like sending you with us for example. I don’t care, but some of the others have been talking about what you and the other Japanese guys tried to do to the prince.”

“They weren’t Japanese.”

Rivalz started at that, staring at him. Suzaku weathered the look, watching as Rivalz worked through what he had said. To his surprise, the man relaxed a moment later, but the wariness didn’t leave his eyes. “I guess it’s good that he brought you along then.”

Suzaku hummed, not willing to comment on it. Rivalz could come to his own conclusions, if he hadn’t already. It wasn’t his place to inform Lelouch’s guards on the details, it was the prince’s. If Lelouch was as smart as rumors said he was then he would have told his guards about the danger that he would be facing. Whatever games he was playing with his father, it was stupid to keep giving the emperor the advantage.

A shout from the milling mass got his attention, Suzaku narrowing his eyes as he saw someone on horseback charge through the group. The man hauled back on the reins of his horse, making the blood bay rear. The horse’s hooves skittered on the cobbles, Suzaku sure that horse and rider would fall over.

The rider was quick to correct the horse, allowing the animal to clatter down onto all four legs and settle down. Suzaku ignored the way that the horse moved, too focused on the orange and gold cape that settled over the horse’s hindquarters. He had seen enough of the gold design to know that it signified one of the Knights of the Round, the elite force in Britannia. He’d never seen more than one or two gathered in one place, but there were plenty of songs about what had happened when all twelve Rounds gathered together. The songs were one thing, but reality was another, especially when he had seen the torn and bloodied capes of two of the Rounds displayed in his father’s mansion in Edo after Istukushima.

He narrowed his eyes as the Knight of the Round started gesturing to the Numbers and guards that were working, a few orders throwing the whole thing into disarray. Suzaku tensed, watching as the man sat back in his saddle.

It was obvious that the man knew what he was doing, and that he was waiting for someone to stop him. Lelouch should have been there to stop him, but the prince was probably still up in his rooms. With the prince gone then the job should have fallen to Gino, but Suzaku couldn’t see him. He might not have known Gino too well, but Suzaku was sure that the knight was off doing his own part of the preparations. That meant that the whole operation was at the Knight of Ten’s mercy until one of the two came outside.

Suzaku huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He spent a moment in awe of the feeling of the skin of his wrists touching skin instead of cold metal. He shook his head, looking back at Rivalz. From the look of things, the guard wasn’t happy with what he was seeing either.

Rivalz shifted in place, looking like he wanted to charge in there and start rearranging things again, but Suzaku doubted that he had any clout with the men. The prince’s guards might listen to him, but Suzaku was sure that the emperor’s men wouldn’t; then again, that might be the point. It was just another plot in the complicated game between them, and it made Suzaku almost regret agreeing to Lelouch’s deal.

Rivalz shivered and reached over to pat his shoulder, Suzaku surprised by the care that the guard took with the touch. Rivalz didn’t even seem to notice, his attention back to the mess in the courtyard. “Looking at that makes me glad you’re on our side.”

Suzaku carefully didn’t say anything. He doubted that he considered himself on any side, and only then because it was in his best interest. Besides, Lelouch and his guards seemed like the only part of the cavalcade that would treat him like a human being. Suzaku winced as he watched the Knight of the Round kick out at a Number, the man nimbly avoiding the knight’s boot. If any of the Numbers would be traveling with them, Suzaku would have to keep an eye on them. He doubted that the knight would leave them alone, which meant his life would be hell if he didn’t stick close to Lelouch.

He hissed in distaste, sure that Rivalz didn’t hear him. The guard seemed more occupied in watching the proceedings. They kept his attention for a while longer before Rivalz pushed away from the wall. “Lelouch will be coming down soon.”

“Will he take care of this?”

“Knowing him, he’s going to study the whole thing first.” Rivalz shrugged like there was nothing he could do about it, although Suzaku doubted that. It was clear enough that Lelouch trusted the man enough to listen when Rivalz spoke.

Some of his unease must have shown on his face, because Rivalz reached out to pat his shoulder with the same care again. “Between the three of us, we might be able to get him to see sense. Come on, let’s get into place before the prince gets angry with us too.”

Rivalz stepped away from the wall, turning partially to wave him along. Suzaku was slow to follow, not wanting to leave the safety of the blacksmith’s shed. It wasn’t like trading one kind of imprisonment for another, it was just enough like coming home that it left him uneasy. He knew how to exist with other soldiers far better than he did in a court, Britannian or otherwise.

He pushed away from the wall with a sigh, following after Rivalz as the guard led him to the edge of the cavalcade. Suzaku glanced through the moving horses and lumbering wagons, expecting to be shoved into one of the wagons until Lelouch came out. To his surprise, Rivalz walked him over to where two horses were waiting. Rivalz was quick to claim the roan as his own, but he held the reins of the grey out to Suzaku.

Suzaku reached out to pet the horse’s muzzle, working his way down the animal’s side to check on the saddle. He paused at the embroidered saddle pad, tracing his fingers over the streak of red that was mirrored in the cloak that had been thrown over the horse’s back. He huffed and ran his fingers over the cloak.

The sigil wasn’t the manacles, but it was as sure of a sign of ownership as the collar around his neck. Suzaku sighed, wanting to toss the cloak off, but it was sure to be cold on the road in early spring. He fingered the hem of the cloak before moving it back and stuffing it awkwardly in the roll behind the saddle. He would repack everything when they camped for the night, it would give him a chance to look over everything that Lelouch had trusted him with.

Suzaku pulled away from the grey at a clink of metal, looking back over at Rivalz. His mouth dropped open in surprise when he saw that the guard was holding a sword out to him. Suzaku reached for it, jerking his hand back at the last moment. Before everything he had been a soldier. Now before everything he was still the prince’s slave. “I…”

“It’s an order, if you were worried. Even if his highness hadn’t asked me to give this to you, I would have. You took three assassins on your own.”

“I have every reason to hate him.”

“But you keep saving him. I’m banking on that more than anything else.”

Suzaku stared at the sword for a moment more before reaching out to take it. He fully expected Rivalz to yank it away or to have someone else swoop in to grab it from his hands, but nothing happened. He glanced around, surprised that the activity in the courtyard went on without someone stopping and staring at him. That’s all the members of the court had seemed to do, but the guards seemed more than happy to ignore his presence.

He turned the sword over in his hands, testing out the weight. It wasn’t the familiar curve of a katana nor was it the absurd length that he had seen some of the swords of Britannia get. It was well balanced and, from what he could see of the hilt, a little bit worn. It was a serviceable sword for a guard.

Suzaku wrapped the belt around his waist, starting to draw it tight when the doors to the palace were opened. Lelouch stepped out to the noise of the courtyard, lacking a fanfare or the immediate silence of the soldiers who would accompany him down to the border. The soldiers that his father had leant didn’t even bother to look up at him. Suzaku watched as Lelouch took the slight in, too far away to see what Lelouch’s expression truly was.

The chatter in the courtyard died down when Lelouch’s horse was brought out, the black charger tossing its head as it was led to the bottom of the steps. The appearance of the horse seemed to pull Lelouch’s attention away from whatever problem he had been working on, the prince stepping away from the doors and pulling on his gloves.

Suzaku watched Lelouch until the prince disappeared behind the bulk of the charger. He took the moment to look over at Rivalz, not surprised to see the usually jovial attitude slide from Rivalz’s face. It was one thing to joke about how horribly the escort would fail them in the courtyard, but another thing to move away from the relative safety of the palace and have to deal with it. Worse still, there was nothing that he could say to make Rivalz feel better, not when he was sure that they would meet with disaster as well.

At a loss of what to do, he just shrugged and swung himself on the back of the grey. Most of the other guards were already mounting up and pulling their horses back at Lelouch rode through them. Suzaku spotted Gino as the man backed his palomino away from the wagons, the young knight glaring over at the Knight of Ten.

If the Knight of Ten noticed it, he didn’t bother to comment on it. He went back to bellowing orders at the top of his lungs, arranging the soldiers into marching order while Lelouch did nothing. The soldiers were quick to step into line, Suzaku looking them over.

It was a small force that would be escort and reinforcement at the border, too small to probably make any difference. And, judging back the look of the soldiers who were waiting for the order to move out, they were the worst of what Charles could pick.

Suzaku rolled his eyes, looking up at the clear blue sky. Lelouch had promised to free him as soon as they reached the border, but Suzaku was sure that it would take a miracle to get the prince down to the border intact.


	12. Dust

Lelouch’s armor was ridiculously ornate. Suzaku shook his head as he looked over the enameling done in purple, gold and black. It was nothing that would hold up in real battle, but it would certainly be impressive if Lelouch was riding into a joust. Considering everything that Suzaku had heard, the prince would be needing functional armor.

He tipped the chest plate up into the light, looking the piece over for any dents. He doubted that it would show any considering how pristine the suit was. Lelouch had probably gotten it fitted recently, but never had a chance to use it. He would get plenty of chances later, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t check the whole thing over. Suzaku tugged at the leather straps, looking at where they were attached and where some of the metal overlapped, searching for anything that looked worn or made incorrectly.

He made it all the way through the chest plate and had moved on to the two greaves when the flap of Lelouch’s tent was shoved open. Suzaku twisted around, his hand groping for the sword that he had kept close to him. His hand skimmed over the elaborate twining hilt that could only belong to Lelouch’s sword, jerking his hand away. He groped among the scattered mess of armor before he found the hilt of his sword.

By then, he had looked back at who entered, Suzaku relaxing slightly when he saw Gino dropping into a bow. The sounds of papers rustling stopped, Suzaku not having to look over at Lelouch to know that the prince had stopped shuffling through his maps and papers. “What is it Gino?”

“Luciano.”

The name was practically snarled out, Suzaku surprised by the inflection. Gino was usually the more easygoing of Lelouch’s preferred commanders. Rivalz would tie himself in knots to get things just right, but Gino was generally more willing to just go with the flow, even if that meant spending half of the evening putting up tents with the men. Rarely had Gino expressed any frustration with the way that their group was traveling. That would have usually been Lelouch.

Suzaku pushed the pieces of armor aside, getting slowly to his feet. Gino threw a quick glance at him before storming over to the table that Lelouch sat at.

The man leaned over to brace himself on the table. “He’s countermanding every one of our orders. He gathered the troop to tell them to ignore _your_ orders entirely. Rivalz and I just barely stopped a fight from breaking out this morning that would have expanded to your whole guard, and I don’t think that Luciano would have made sure that his men weren’t armed.”

Suzaku sucked in a quick breath, looking over at Lelouch. The prince was sitting perfectly still. Suzaku was sure that he saw a slight frown on Lelouch’s face. Gino didn’t seem to see it because the man leaned forward. “This is a problem, Lelouch. It isn’t one of your games in chess or something that you can wave off in court. This is an actual war.”

“I am aware. I’ve been to one, remember?”

Gino shook his head, looking disgusted. “You didn’t fight at Itsukushima.”

Predictably, Lelouch flinched at the name. The hand that the prince had resting on the table clenched on the map. Lelouch went dangerously still, staring at Gino. “Neither did you.”

“But I did plenty of fighting afterwards.”

“Yes, yes. In Europa.” Lelouch lifted his hand from the map, making a dismissive motion with it. “But that was there, and this is Britannia.”

“So, what are you going to do about this? It’s another week to Aries Fort from here and, by then you’ll be leading your guard and Luciano’s army. I think you know what will happen then. Your only support is in that fort and it’s the _only_ group of soldiers that you could muster.”

“Fine then, tell me your grand plan.”

“I don’t have one. You just have to do something other than let Luciano do what he wants.”

“And you think I just let him do whatever he wants?” Lelouch didn’t bother to wait for Gino answer. He just turned back to look at Suzaku. “What do you think?”

Suzaku shifted in place, looking between the two of them. He knew nothing about dealing with Britannian soldiers, although there couldn’t be too much of a difference. A soldier was a soldier in the end, and Suzaku had spent much of his time growing up with them.

It was easy enough to see what Gino was saying, because most of the soldiers ignored him. The soldiers that the emperor had sent along under the Knight of Ten treated him like they would treat a Number. It had given him plenty of time to size up the situation as it was developing, which was enough to make him worry.

Charles wanted Lelouch dead, the emperor had proved that much through the assassination attempt. The reasons why was beyond him, because the private feud had been going on for years before he had been brought to Britannia. He knew the bare bones of the argument, which centered around Nunnally. It had built up from there, but Suzaku was sure that it came down to the fact that Lelouch had been too troublesome for too long. The generous offer to allow Lelouch an escort to the border, to where his mother’s family held lands and sway was too good to be true, just like the offer to have a Knight of the Round escort him.

Suzaku crossed his arms over his chest. It didn’t matter that the offer had been very generous; it was a matter of controlling what they had. From what he had heard about the other members of Lelouch’s family, Schneizel and Cornelia would have been able to take control easily. Clovis might have been able to do it through force of personality alone, but Lelouch had spent too much of his time with his small circle of influence and annoying his father to the point where no one wanted to risk helping him.. The only people loyal to Lelouch were in his guard, which meant that they would have to do some work before they go to Aries Fort. The problem was finding a way to do it.

He glanced over at Gino before meeting Lelouch’s gaze. “This group is going to get you killed, either before or after you get to Aries Fort.”

“I thought that’s what I brought you along for.” Lelouch smiled. “After all, you took care of the last assassins so well.”

“There were only three of them.”

Gino nodded. “Luciano has a bit more than three.”

Lelouch sighed and stood up. He leaned forward against the table, looking down at the map. “So my only choice is to take care of Luciano now?”

“Do you want to try your luck?”

Lelouch rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. He went back to staring down at his maps. Suzaku watched as Lelouch walked his fingers down the map, lingering on one place. By the way that Lelouch traced over the map multiple times, Suzaku assumed that the prince was calculating the routes that he could take to the certain point, but Suzaku wasn’t close enough to see it.

He glanced over at Gino, raising his eyebrows as he saw that the man was nodding. So Gino recognized where Lelouch was going, which meant at least one of them was in on the prince’s plan.

Suzaku wasn’t worried about that, because it was a simple thing to follow a map and a road. The more complicated issue was dealing with Luciano.

It had to be Lelouch to push for authority because Luciano was usurping the prince’s authority. If Gino or Rivalz swept in then it would be easy for Luciano’s men to just keep ignoring the prince. The problem was that Suzaku knew the challenge would be a physical one. The Knights of the Round may have been smart, but they didn’t have Lelouch’s ability to plan multiple steps ahead, not that it would help Lelouch at all. Luciano was trained with a sword and Suzaku had only see Lelouch do what looked like warm up maneuvers with his blade.

It was tempting to volunteer to step up for Lelouch. He was sure that he could at least beat Luciano down if not defeat the knight entirely. From there Lelouch could step in and take over. The problem was that none of the soldiers would listen to him anyway and there would be even more rumors about the prince. He was already suspect because of the fact that he owned a slave and had shown it around the imperial palace. It was a clear sign that Lelouch was sliding back into the more dangerous ways of the Roman emperor and the hill people that he descended from, never mind that it had all been an order.

“How long do you think it would take to train these soldiers into something useable?”

The question snapped Suzaku out of his thoughts. He looked between Lelouch and Gino, trying to piece together parts of the conversation that he had obviously missed. When neither of them offered any information, he shrugged. He had never trained soldiers, he had just trained with them and none of them had been as the group that they were traveling with. Suzaku suspected that Tohdoh had purposefully kept him away from the more mutinous soldiers, but he’d never complained. He regretted that now.

He looked over at Gino, glad when the man shrugged. “A month to knock off the rough edges?”

“We don’t have a month. Father expects me to be at Aries Fort by that time.” Lelouch stared at the map before tapping a place on it. “We can maybe spare a few weeks, but they’ll have to be taken at Cong. The Ashfords were supporters of my mother and can be trusted.”

Gino hissed, Suzaku taking that as his judgment of the distance. He knew nothing about Britannia aside from some vague recollections of maps. He had been brought up to Pendragon by ship and they hadn’t been let out of the hold. All he had was Lelouch’s map and he doubted that it was to scale. It looked far too decorative to be useful.

He took a step forward to look at the map, getting a glimpse of a stylized version of a castle with the fleur-de-lis of the Ashford family. Suzaku didn’t get to look at it for long before Lelouch rested his hand over the map. Suzaku noticed that Lelouch purposefully blocked part of the border. He looked up at the prince, watching as Lelouch raised an eyebrow. At least he knew the limits of how much he was trusted now.

Suzaku rocked back onto his heels, strapping the sword belt around his waist. Lelouch glanced down at the sword before making a vague motion over towards where his own rested. “Gino, call the others to order.”

The man nodded and strode out of the tent. Suzaku watched him go, shifting in place. Lelouch had taken care of the situation, but everything that he had planned depended on managing to fend off Luciano. And he hadn’t heard anything about a plan for that.

He took a step back from the table, walking over to where Lelouch sword was still on the ground. He lifted the sword, weighing it in his hand before holding it out to Lelouch. “Do you actually think you can beat him?”

“I know I can.” Lelouch grinned as he took the sword, not bothering to buckle it in place.

Suzaku sighed and fell into step behind Lelouch, bracing himself for whatever would follow. He could hear the soldiers assembling, the pace slow and lazy. He could already see the prince’s guards waiting in the open space in front of the half disassembled tents. The soldiers under Luciano were slow to come out from whatever they were doing, and their captain was the last to come out.

Lelouch was already standing in place with the entire troop in place by the time Luciano came out of his tent. The knight was half dressed and still yawning, like he had just woken up. Suzaku didn’t doubt that.

Suzaku watched as Luciano strolled up to the front of the group, giving the prince a lazy nod. Luciano looked around the group, scratching at his jaw. “What’s this all about?”

Lelouch kept his face impassive, an impressive thing compared to all the other generals that Suzaku had seen. Most of them would have started shouting, but Lelouch went quiet and still. The prince looked over Luciano, his head tipped to the side. “I’ve heard some disturbing things about what’s being going on. As far as I was aware, you are my escort to Aries Fort and in charge of protecting me until we reach there. Considering the recommendations that I was given, I expected more. So far, all I’ve seen that is that all of you are increasingly incompetent. Which means that I have a group of ten guards and a Japanese soldier to keep me safe. And I trust the latter more than any of you.”

Lelouch kept his voice calm, like he was just listing the things that he was going to do that day. Suzaku didn’t think that it would be as impressive at a shout, but he could hear a slight crack in Lelouch’s voice. He stopped himself from turning to look at the prince, wanting to watch the soldiers.

A few of them were shifting nervously while most of them were looking at Luciano, like they were gauging his reaction. Suzaku followed their lead, ignoring the urge to reach for his sword. That would be too obvious, especially when everyone was on edge. There were enough soldiers in the troop who didn’t want him there – let alone with a weapon – that things could get dangerous. He didn’t want to make a move before Lelouch had a plan, if the prince had a plan.

He shifted in place, catching Luciano’s gaze. The knight laughed and gestured at him. “The Number?”

Lelouch shrugged. “He’s not a Number.”

Suzaku couldn’t help the shiver that ran up his spine. He felt his scars catch as his muscles moved, a reminder of the last time that Lelouch had said that to him. He curled his hand into a fist, pressing his nails into his hand. The sharp burst of pain kept him still.

Lelouch didn’t linger over Luciano’s question for long, turning his attention back to the soldiers. “We have a long march to the border ahead of us. I suggest you have the camp packed up within the next half an hour, or you will be left behind and charged with desertion.”

There was muttering among the ranks, none of it sounding good. Suzaku scanned over the soldiers, watching as Luciano did the same. It was clear that most of them didn’t like the ultimatum that Lelouch had given them, and that Luciano agreed.

The knight scoffed and moved to stand in front of the soldiers. “You can’t do that. These are my men.”

“They’re my father’s, just like your title was granted by my father.”

“But you can’t take that away.” Luciano laughed and took a step back. Suzaku saw the man reach behind his back, not bothering to hide the fact that he reached for his sword. Luciano’s gaze darted to him, the man’s smile growing. “And your little Number there can’t do anything either. Whose word do you think that the emperor would believe?”

Lelouch shook his head. “We’re not going to turn this into that kind of contest. You have your orders, pack up the camp and get ready to march or be labeled as a deserter.”

“You can’t do that to me! I’m a Knight of the Round! I am above the law!”

Luciano grabbed at what was behind his back, Suzaku seeing the flash of light off a blade before one of the soldiers grabbed at Luciano’s arm. The knight turned on the man, stabbing down with the knife. The soldier shouted and backed off, the knife still in his arm.

Some of the soldiers lurched forward at the scream, even Gino stepped forward to cover Lelouch’s other side. The prince stood through it all like it was just another debate, something that Suzaku thought was incredibly stupid. It was obvious that Luciano had been pushed too far, and the man wanted to fight. He glanced over at Gino, watching as the man went for his sword only for Lelouch to reach out and rest a hand on his arm.

“This isn’t something for Rounds to settle.”

Gino started at Lelouch for a moment before dropping his hand away. Lelouch gave his arm one last pat before he took a step forward. The prince pulled out his sword without a flourish, holding it in front of him.

Luciano’s gaze moved from the thinner blade to the thicker steel of his own sword before he laughed. “I forgot, you aren’t your mother. Is that the heaviest sword you can lift?”

“No.”

“Then what are you going to do? Poke me to death?”

Luciano barely got the words out before Lelouch lunged forward. Suzaku was surprised at the speed, because he had expected Lelouch to have some unfamiliarity with fighting. Lelouch had always seemed to disdain physical activity before, so it had made sense in his mind that Lelouch wouldn’t know too much about sword fighting. Of course Lelouch had practiced every once and a while, but it had never looked like sword fighting, it had looked more like dancing and waving the lighter weapon around.

Lelouch stepped back, the only sign that he had done anything was the blood on the tip of his blade and the smirk on his face. The prince looked at the end of the blade, turning it from side to side.

The shocked stillness lasted for a moment longer before Luciano reached over to touch his side. The knight curled his fingers around the spot, Suzaku seeing blood leak out between them. He expected Luciano to do something in outrage, but the knight just shook his head and glared at Lelouch.

To Suzaku’s surprise, Luciano straightened up and laughed. “You think that you can kill me?”

Lelouch considered Luciano for a moment before shaking his head. “No.”

“So you’re going to sic one of your dogs on me?” Luciano gestured at Suzaku and Gino with his sword. “You said you trust them more than anyone else here. Gino might be able to stand up to me, but no Number will. And then what will you do? You’ve never been in battle, you can’t even defend yourself. So the question becomes, what will you give to me to keep you alive?”

“Nothing.”

“Then there’s no point in drawing this out.” Luciano took another step forward, his sword raised above his head.

Suzaku reacted out of instinct. He pulled his sword free and went to step forward, but Lelouch was already moving.

The prince darted forward, ducking awkwardly under Luciano’s swing. The knight was already adjusting for his next attack when Lelouch stabbed deeply into Luciano’s shoulder.

Luciano bellowed in pain, one hand dropping from the sword to clutch at Lelouch’s sword. The blade cut into his palm, more blood pooling on the sword as Luciano tried to tug it out. When it didn’t come out immediately, the knight took a step forward, the force behind the motion bending the sword a bit and pushing Lelouch back.

Lelouch braced the hilt of the sword against his own shoulder, but he was still pushed back a few more steps. He fetched up against Suzaku, Suzaku grunting as Lelouch’s weight pressed back against him. Suzaku braced himself against Lelouch, surprised that Lelouch allowed the touch in such close quarters. Then again, he doubted that Lelouch was thinking about how close they were to each other, the prince’s full attention seemed to be on Luciano.

The knight struggled for a moment longer before he went limp, panting as he held onto the sword in his shoulder. Luciano glared up at Lelouch from where he was kneeling on the ground.

From the quick glance that Suzaku was able to get from Lelouch’s face, the prince was just as surprised as Luciano was. Lelouch recovered faster, the prince leaning further into his sword. Luciano grunted in pain, but the knight didn’t move. That seemed to encourage Lelouch enough for the prince to relax a fraction.

“Gino, Rivalz, secure him.”

It took a moment for the two of them to respond, the two men stepping forward cautiously. When Lelouch didn’t make another move they rushed forward to grab onto Luciano’s arms. They went to ease him off of the sword, the two of them wincing when Lelouch just yanked the sword out of Luciano’s shoulder.

Suzaku winced as well, jerking his gaze away from the bloody sword to look at the mess that was Luciano’s shoulder. With the blood still welling up and the clothes in the way it was hard to tell just what the damage was. The only sure thing was that Luciano wouldn’t be using that arm.

Lelouch stepped away from him and wiped his blade off. He didn’t look away as he talked to Gino and Rivalz. “Pack up his sword and armor. Take anything that was given to him as a Knight of the Round. Strip him completely and leave him to walk back to Pendragon. He can explain why he was sent back to the capital in disgrace. It should only take him a few days considering the pace we moved out at. Keep him contained until we’ve started to move out.”

“No problem. I’ve got a few people who could use some time off from putting tents up and down.”

Lelouch examined his sword before sliding it back into its scabbard. He turned to walk his way, a lazy wave an obvious order for Suzaku to follow him.

Suzaku hesitated, glancing between the assembled soldiers and where Luciano was still kneeling on the ground. He took a step back as Luciano practically snarled at him, choosing to leave Gino and Rivalz to follow Lelouch’s orders.

It didn’t take much to catch up to the prince, Lelouch was taking his time walking back to his tent. If Suzaku hadn’t had known better, he would have thought that Lelouch was waiting for him. Although he couldn’t imagine why that would happen, aside for Lelouch to give him more orders. Not that he needed them, the five days they had been on the road had been enough for him to get comfortable with packing up the prince’s belongings and what few belongings he had on his own.

That didn’t stop him from expecting Lelouch to rattle off orders when he finally caught up with the prince. He was relieved when Lelouch just looked back at him, an expectant look on his face. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Do you think that we’ve taken care of that problem?”

Suzaku glanced over his shoulder at where Luciano was being pulled back towards his tent. He noted that some of the emperor’s soldiers were accompanying Gino and Rivalz, but none of them looked eager to help out their old commander. There was a squad of frowning women off to one side that Suzaku was sure that they would lose because of what happened, he could see that much from their faces. But the rest of the soldiers seemed to be happy with how things had turned out. The might not be happy to have Lelouch leading them, but they would probably be content with Gino and Rivalz. It was a start in the right direction, which was all that Suzaku could hope for.

He still couldn’t get over his unease at the look of hatred on Luciano’s face. The knight was glaring directly back at them, his gaze focused on Lelouch’s back. Lelouch had to feel it considering how heated the gaze was, which could only mean that the prince was purposefully ignoring Luciano. That in itself could be dangerous later, but Suzaku couldn’t pinpoint when, which meant that Lelouch wouldn’t listen.

It was obvious that Luciano wouldn’t make it down to the border, not after his humiliation. But that didn’t mean that Luciano would just forget about it. Lelouch would have to watch for him later, because Luciano had been right. As a Knight of the Round he could easily bend the law to his will, and it wouldn’t take much to send Luciano after the man who had publically shamed him in front of his own soldiers.

Suzaku shook his head and looked ahead of him again. “You could have finished it.”

“Finished it? I believe it’s finished now.” Lelouch looked at him with surprise before shaking his head. “Besides, I avoided a fight, like you probably would have wanted.”

“I never said that.”

“It was very clear from the way you were watching me.”

Suzaku shrugged. “If it really was a fight, you would have been killed.”

“Thank you for that frank assessment of my skills.” Lelouch tossed the sword back at him, Suzaku scrambling to catch it. “I could have taken him.”

Suzaku weighed the sword in his hands before looking up at Lelouch. The prince wasn’t the court flower he had expected, but he didn’t have the strength to take on a man who spent his days training. If anything, Lelouch had started too late. He had relied on his connections and mental skills to try and get Nunnally back and had only just recently trained for having to retrieve her himself. It was a dangerous lack of skill and knowledge, especially considering the obstacles that Charles was probably going to throw up in front of him.

His silence must have been answer enough because Lelouch stopped in his tracks. The prince spun to look at him, narrowing his eyes. “You didn’t think I would be able to do it.”

Suzaku glanced down at the sword before shaking his head. “I haven’t seen you fight _ever_.”

“I stabbed a man.”

“After I had taken care of him.”

The prince huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Suzaku stood still under the slow, up and down look that he was treated to. He completely expected the annoyed shake of Lelouch’s head, it was a common thing when the prince wasn’t getting his way. “I don’t fight like you do, is that so much of a surprise? Of course I wouldn’t have been able to charge into pitched combat, but I could outsmart him, and I did. They’ll remember that just as much as they would have remembered me beating him about the head and neck with a sword. My only regret is that I didn’t get the chance to kill him.”

Suzaku’s mouth dropped open in shock. By the look on Lelouch’s face, the prince had expected it. Lelouch just shook his head. “I can’t let everyone live, Lancelot, no matter what you think about it. Sometimes it becomes a choice between me and them, and it has to be me.”

“Why?”

“Because I have to find my sister and make sure she’s safe. Maybe after that I can think differently, but only when I know we’re safe.” Lelouch took a deep breath like he was about to say something else, but he stopped himself. He dropped his gaze down, staring at the collar around Suzaku’s neck. Suzaku watched as Lelouch’s shoulders tensed. He wanted to ask what had stopped Lelouch, but he didn’t get the chance.

The prince gave him a curt nod before taking a step back. “I envy you sometimes.”

It was an admission of weakness, something that was rare for Lelouch. Suzaku tipped his head to the side. “Why?”

“Because it’s all so simple for you.”

Lelouch turned away before Suzaku could say anything. Although Suzaku wasn’t sure that he would get the words out, he was sure that he would burst into laughter. Just a Japanese soldier on the wrong side of the fight or son of the shogun, it was never simple. The world hadn’t been simple since he was ten, and he had left the Kururugi Shrine after his mother’s funeral.

He watched Lelouch slip into his tent, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place. It had been a while since he had felt that in Britannia, at least not since they had left to travel down to the border. It had been easy to forget in the midst of the soldiers, or at least among the prince’s guards. He was well known to them and, if not liked, then at least tolerated because he had saved their prince. It hadn’t been home, but it hadn’t been the isolation that he had gotten used to.

Suzaku shifted in place, tempted to look back over his shoulder at where the camp was starting to be taken down behind him, but he held himself back. He had his own duties to attend to and a prince to look after in a tangle of politics that was anything but simple.


	13. Element

Suzaku sat on the grey, watching as the rest of the soldiers attempted to turn and wheel while avoiding their infantry forces. He winced as their budding cavalry nearly ran over their infantry, closing his eyes as he waited for the screams. There were ten injured men back in the camp from yesterday, and Suzaku was sure that there would be more. The fact that there might be less was not too heartening, but at least it was progress, far more progress than he expected. At least the infantry could hold a steady line unlike the week before.

He opened one eye, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw that the two groups had managed the maneuver without a collision. He glanced over at where Gino was grinning, the nobleman sitting tall and proud on his charger. Gino waved at him, the man’s attention staying there for a moment before he trotted off to correct something in the cavalry.

Suzaku didn’t wave back, his attention was back on the infantry. He knew that the Britannian army relied more heavily on their cavalry and that they had used them to good effect so far in their conquest. It was only because of the rough terrain that the Britannian cavalry had been rendered useless at Itsukushima, or else the battle would have been more of a struggle. As it was, Itsukushima had just become a fight between infantry forces, and Britannia had crumbled.

He narrowed his eyes, watching as the troop wheeled again, the infantry square breaking apart a bit on the move. Suzaku shook his head, listening as their captain shouted at them and made them go through the move again.

It was strange being set apart from the others, he was used to training with the troops and participating in large mock battles held in the back fields of his father’s mansion. His hands twitched on the reins, seeking out the katana that he no longer had. The grey tossed its head, Suzaku letting the horse shift as he tried to settle himself.

It wasn’t a betrayal to be working with the Britannians, he had to keep telling himself that. He was just helping to train them for border raids, which were a bane to both of their countries and making sure that Lelouch wouldn’t be marching off to the border castles only to die. Suzaku might not have been able to read the twisting and turnings of the Britannian court, but he was sure that Charles would take the chance to try and get rid of the troublesome prince. If he had been the same man that his father’s councilors had sent to Britannia, then he would have joined them.

He sighed and nudged his grey away. Gino and Rivalz had things well under control, and he had seen enough for the time being. He would report back to the prince and, if he had the time, he would go and work with the infantry. It had been a long time since he had been allowed to work with a sword, and he didn’t want to get out of practice. Suzaku was sure that it had been pure luck that Lelouch had been able to defeat Luciano, the prince couldn’t have that much luck left to him after all of the close calls.

Suzaku nudged the grey into a trot back towards the camp, not surprised to see Lelouch sitting calmly in the saddle of his charger. Suzaku wanted to laugh at the sight of the lanky prince on such a bulky horse He doubted that Lelouch would have been able to wear the armor that most of the other knights wore. If he did, Suzaku was sure that the prince would fall right off his horse.

He smothered a laugh, trying to school his facial expression. Lelouch looked like he was completely engrossed in the maneuvers below. The only thing that would make the picture complete was a map spread out over the front of the saddle. Suzaku wouldn’t put it past Lelouch, but he was almost glad that the prince wasn’t dividing his attention too much. It was better for Lelouch to get to know his troop’s strengths and weaknesses and leave the battle planning for the late evenings when everyone else was settled.

Suzaku tried to ignore the way that his stomach turned as he realized that Lelouch had put himself at a distance from everyone. Suzaku was used to seeing Lelouch flanked by his guards or his friends, to see the prince so exposed raised the hairs on the back of his neck. He licked his lips and looked around, keeping his horse down to a walk.

They had stopped at the Ashford Castle and its adjourning village of Cong for the explicit reason that Lelouch trusted the family who owned the castle. Apparently the Ashfords had supported his mother in Pendragon and that should have been enough for him, but the Britannian court was slippery and promises of support meant nothing to them. Suzaku had watched their loyalties change and shift enough to make his head spin in the months that he had been kept in the capital. He wasn’t to the point where he could trust the allies that Lelouch claimed, not after all of the things that had happened in Pendragon.

He scanned the hills around Lelouch before giving up his search. There was no one waiting to kill Lelouch, but that didn’t settle his stomach. Without Lelouch, he wouldn’t be able to get back home and finish up his business there. Until then, he would keep the prince alive and allow himself to be used to help the Britannians.

His grey snorted and pinned its ears as Suzaku guided it alongside Lelouch’s horse. Lelouch’s horse snorted and pinned its ears and well, Lelouch absently tugging on the reins. The horse sidled, Lelouch swaying easily with the motion. He leaned forward to pat the horse’s neck, not even seeming to care that the motion didn’t steady the horse. The prince turned to look at him, a frown on his face. “What do you think?”

Suzaku raised his shoulder in a shrug. “You’re too exposed out here.”

Lelouch ignored the comment, his gaze back on his troops as Gino and Rivalz moved them back through another maneuver. This one looked like it was moving more smoothly. Suzaku watched the space that had been left in the cavalry lines where he would be, He tried to memorize the way that the whole group was moving before he shook his head. There would be plenty of time to learn his place in Lelouch’s army, they would be in Cong for a few days more.

“Lancelot?”

Suzaku jerked at the name, momentarily confused by it before he remembered who it referred to. He sighed and shook his head. “You’re cutting it close.”

“Well I don’t have forever. Father probably expects a slow pace, maybe a short self-destruct, but I can’t draw this out too much longer.”

“He expects you to just march towards your death?”

“It the Britannian way. He has too many children to parcel out lands to and I’ve been too much trouble.” Lelouch gritted his teeth for a moment, Suzaku waiting for the prince to rage, but it didn’t come. “It’s a tradition that the strongest survives, which I am not. If anything, the crown will go to Schneizel or Guinevere, at least until Karine grows old enough. As for the rest of them, they’re all going to die in the private wars that will rip this empire apart.”

Suzaku shook his head, horrified by the calm description of what would happen to Lelouch and his myriad of siblings. The ascension to shogun was hardly easier, but at least they were restrained by a code of honor and nobles that were actually loyal to their family. There had been wars before, but things had gotten under control, at least until Suzaku had messed it all up.

He winced and dropped his gaze, staring at his horse’s mane. Lelouch didn’t seem to notice his mood, Suzaku hearing the prince shift in the saddle.

“I could almost believe that Father thinks he’s being merciful. I’m not going to survive the war that will come with his death and he’ll get rid of an annoying son who believes that he can run the empire better than he can.”

“Can you?”

“Of course not. I don’t want an empire. Britannia has always been enough for me. I don’t need to resurrect a dead empire; it fell for a reason. The rest of my siblings can fight over that. I just want my sister back.”

“And Britannia?”

“I might be lucky, but I might not. Currently, I’m just trying to the border in one piece.”

Suzaku scoffed. He doubted that Lelouch was just thinking as far as the border, but it wasn’t his place to question the prince. He might be allowed to tell about the lands on the border or how to fight against the Japanese. In the end, he was just a slave.

He ran his fingers around the edge of the gold collar, trying to pull it slightly away from his neck. It wouldn’t go anywhere, but the circle of metal was making that part of his neck hot. He could feel the sweat rolling out from underneath it.

He pulled his hand away, turning his attention back to the troop so he wouldn’t have to look at Lelouch. “We might be ready, if we get lucky. Just don’t charge right into the Japanese army.”

“Japanese army?” Lelouch sounded surprised, but he cleared his throat. “And Britannians?”

Suzaku considered the question, because it was a valid concern. Charles or whoever else wanted to take out the eleventh prince would probably draw from the sources at their disposal, which would mean Britannian forces that were probably bolstered with Numbers. If that was the case then they might have a chance. From what Suzaku had seen, the Numbers were not properly folded into the army and would probably break first, but that wouldn’t matter if the Britannians managed to bring their heavy cavalry to bear.

Suzaku shrugged. “Not in a long drawn out battle.”

“I won’t let it get to that then.” There was a flash of amusement across Lelouch’s face before the look of concentration settled back on his face. Lelouch leaned forward to brace his arm on the high pommel of his saddle, his attention completely focused on his troop.

Suzaku edged his grey closer to the top of the hill, his gaze on the next pattern that the troops were doing. It was still jerky and they passed far too close to each other. Suzaku watched as one of the soldiers practically threw himself to the side to avoid getting hit. He winced, watching as the man scrambled to his feet and ran back to his place.

He sighed and looked back at Lelouch, surprised at the eager look on Lelouch’s face. He supposed that even a badly trained group of soldiers was something for a prince who’d had nothing.

“As long as they follow orders and you haven’t lied to me about what we could encounter, it won’t be a problem.”

There wasn’t a stress on his words, but Suzaku still felt the guilt. He hadn’t bothered to lie, it hadn’t crossed his mind. Lelouch was a Britannian prince, and one with every reason to hate him, but he had never thought that Lelouch was a threat, not even after his beating. The most he had ever considered Lelouch was annoying. Although, he would have to rethink that now that he had seen Lelouch take on Luciano. Considering all he had seen about Lelouch, he would have to do that sooner rather than later. He had gotten used to looking for physical danger, but Lelouch could outthink anyone that Suzaku knew.

Still, the thought of Lelouch on the battlefield made his stomach twist. There would be no guarantees of him being able to protect Lelouch on the battlefield and that worried him.

He was tempted to reach up for his collar again, but he stopped himself. He curled his fingers into the grey’s mane. “They will follow orders.”

“That’s all I can ask for.” He reached out to pat Suzaku’s shoulder, Suzaku surprised by the way that Lelouch’s hand lingered on his shoulder. “Just train them to the best of your abilities. I’ll take them after that.”

Suzaku nodded, although Lelouch’s assurances didn’t help. Everything that the prince knew about warfare came from old books and Suzaku found that he couldn’t put much stock in those old books. Books were no replacement for experience, and yet Lelouch looked like he was a competent general. The focus sent a shiver down his spine, another thing that he didn’t want to talk about.

He swallowed and focused on the troop movements, trying his best to pick out problem spaces in their maneuvers while trying not to watch Lelouch out of the corner of his eye.


	14. Inn

Suzaku collapsed backward onto the bed, watching as the woman bustled away. He was surprised to see a woman who looked so Japanese up so far in Britannia. Then again, the empire was expanding, as he had been constantly reminded back in Pendragon. He narrowed his eyes, tempted to get up and follow her out but that would mean abandoning Lelouch in the inn. With obviously well trained soldiers following them, Suzaku didn’t think that it would be a good idea.

If he wanted to get his freedom, then he needed to get Lelouch down to the border between their two countries alive. Only then would Lelouch strike the collar from his neck and allow him to walk over the border. A dead prince would get him nowhere.

He leaned backwards until his back was pressed against the wall, looking over at where Lelouch was leaning against the wall closest to the fireplace. It looked like Lelouch was sagging, the prince moments away from falling asleep. 

Suzaku sighed and stood up, making sure to make some noise as he edged away from the bed. “Come on.”

Lelouch’s head jerked up, the prince watching him warily. “What?”

“Unless you want to make the march back to the castle, we’re staying here for the night. We paid for the room after all.”

Lelouch kept a wary watch on him, his hand dropping down to his waist. Suzaku saw a flash of annoyance cross Lelouch’s face when the prince remembered that he had given his belt and purse to Suzaku.

Suzaku grinned at him and motioned to the bed. “Come on, or you’ll be useless in the morning.”

Lelouch quirked an eyebrow but he pushed away from the wall. 

Suzaku regretted the semi-order as soon as Lelouch moved. It had been one thing to watch as Lelouch played the part of the flirtatious noble in the main room of the inn. He had been able to wave it off as something out of necessity and he had been busy watching for the men who had been following them. The small room was something completely different.

He swallowed harshly, trying to keep his eyes from lingering, but that just meant that he was allowing his gaze to skip to certain parts of Lelouch’s body. Like the necklace with its rounded purple glass beads that rested lightly on Lelouch’s collarbone, or the way that the tights that Lelouch had put on after the morning drills hugged his legs. There was muscle there now, built up from training and riding with the rest of the troops.

Suzaku jerked his gaze away, staring at the floor as Lelouch sat down on the bed. He winced as Lelouch patted the bed next to him. Suzaku ignored the request, sure that he could get away with it. 

He walked across the room, wanting to put distance between him and Lelouch. Even then, Suzaku didn’t dare turn around, too busy inspecting the room for escape routes. “Do you trust her?”

“Is that what this is about?” Lelouch chuckled, a shiver running up Suzaku’s spine at the sound. “I trust her as much as I trust anyone in Britannia.”

“Shocking.”

“Is that sarcasm I hear?”

“Of course not, your highness.” Suzaku made his way over to the door. He was trying to come up with something else to say when he heard a clatter from the floor below. 

He frowned and reached for the door, resting his hand on the knob before he stopped himself from opening it. He pressed his ear against the door, holding his breath as he tried to pick out the words. 

It was too late for most travelers, most of them would have just camped on the roads. With the might of the Britannian military patrolling the roads the merchants would have nothing to fear until they reached the lake and hill district that made up the border between Britannia and Japan. 

He let out his breath in a rush when he heard the clatter of weapons, giving up on trying to figure out words. The weapons were enough.

Suzaku turned around, jumping when he realized that Lelouch was standing right behind him.

The prince didn’t seem to notice his discomfort, his attention on the door. “Trouble?”

“Yes.” Suzaku ducked around him, trying not to touch Lelouch. He couldn’t afford to lose his focus, not when there were armed men below.

He paced through the room, pausing at the curtains. He jerked them back, sighing when he saw the balcony there. 

It was hard to get the doors open, Suzaku throwing his shoulder against them. The noise sounded too loud, but Suzaku doubted that anyone below heard it. If they did, then it wouldn’t be too long before they came charging up the stairs.

He stepped out onto the balcony, looking down into the yard below before giving it up as a lost cause. A drop straight onto cobblestones would lead directly to a broken leg and they were too far from their troops to make the rush back. 

Suzaku cursed under his breath and turned around. Theirs was the only balcony, the structure supported by what Suzaku assumed was the kitchen portion of the inn. The roof did dip low over the balcony, low enough that they could jump up onto it. Suzaku stepped forward to lean out over the rail, trying to judge the distances over the roof. It would be easy enough to move down over their row, but he would have to be creative after that.

He turned to look into the room, not surprised to see Lelouch hurriedly crossing over to him. “They’re heading up.”

“And so are we.” Suzaku gestured to the roof, ready for Lelouch to command a leg up when the prince suddenly shoved him backward.

He went easily his eyes widening as Lelouch grabbed one of the doors and pulled it all the way open, trapping them against the wall of the inn.

Suzaku opened his mouth to speak when Lelouch clamped a hand over it, Suzaku’s eyes going wide. Lelouch motioned for him to keep quiet before cocking his head to the side.

The armed men charged into the room, Suzaku hearing the clatter of their armor and weapons. He sucked in a quick breath, holding it when Lelouch stepped forward, pressing up against him.

It was almost automatic to grab Lelouch’s waist, Suzaku feeling the muscle that was starting to build up there. Lelouch was being forced to learn real combat instead of the quick strikes that he had learned in fencing. His hands started to drift up Lelouch’s sides before he stopped himself, Suzaku closing his eyes and focusing on the men in the room.

The soldiers sounded like they were turning the room upside down, Suzaku hearing furniture tumbling before the soldiers stormed out of the room. They would probably search the rest of the floor, which meant they had the time to get ahead.

He shoved Lelouch away from him, turning around and jumping for the roof. His fingers closed over the edge of the roof, Suzaku pulling himself up onto the tiles.

They were slippery from the light drizzle that had happened that afternoon, Suzaku placing his feet carefully as he got to the apex of the roof. He spread his arms out for balance as he turned, looking back at where Lelouch was balancing on the balcony railing.

He winced at the way that Lelouch wobbled, making a motion that he hoped Lelouch would interpret as a warning to be careful.

If the prince noticed, he didn’t act like he saw it. Lelouch eyed the low roof before jumping onto it. He scrambled inelegantly over the tiles, Suzaku turning his gaze away automatically. The prince didn’t like to be seen in moments where he was less than perfect, it was a Britannian failing.

He was about to turn away and inspect the end of the roof more carefully when he heard a low curse followed by the sound of a tile shattering on the cobblestones.

“Lancelot.”

He turned at the name, watching in horror as Lelouch slid towards the end of the roof.

Suzaku cursed and dropped to his knees to reach out for the prince. He let go of his tenuous hold on the point of the roof when he realized that he wouldn’t reach Lelouch. He pushed away, sliding down the tiles until he could grab onto Lelouch’s hand.

He scrambled for a hold on the tiles, quickly giving up and rolling over so he could brace himself on one hand and his feet. Suzaku went still, listening as more tiles shattered in the courtyard.

They had lost their advantage, Suzaku could hear the shouts from the soldiers as they rushed down to the yard. They would have to be blind not to see where Lelouch was dangling off the roof.

He gritted his teeth and started to haul the two of them back onto the roof, his shoulder aching from the strain.

Suzaku scrambled for a better hold at the apex of the roof, glancing back at where Lelouch was scrambling up beside him. The prince’s eyes were wide with panic and he was breathing heavily. Suzaku looked Lelouch over for more injuries before shaking his head. “Can you run?”

Lelouch looked offended at the question. He stood up carefully, rubbing at his arm. He jerked it away when Suzaku went to examine it, so Suzaku let it go. It was more important to start putting distance between them and the soldiers.

He gave Lelouch a light shove towards the end of the roof. “Try to keep up.”

Suzaku heard Lelouch huff as he jogged past. He didn’t believe the bluster for a moment, but he would allow Lelouch to fake it for a little while more, just as long as he didn’t go falling off any more roofs. Suzaku didn’t think his heart could take it.


	15. Lost

Leaving Ashford Castle was going to be harder than he had originally thought. Suzaku took a few deep breaths before edging out around the rock again, trying to count the men that were camped out in the rocky terrain.

It wasn’t hard to keep track of them, not when they were all in one place, it was the thought that baffled him. He could understand why Charles would try to silence Lelouch in Pendragon, the prince had plenty of enemies there. But the Ashfords had always been allies of Marianne and her children, so it made no sense that they would strike out against Lelouch. Only the most delicate of maneuvering would make Charles be able to explain Lelouch’s death away, especially since Lelouch had been sent away to the border with the explicit expectation that he would be safe.

Suzaku moved his fingers against the rock, shaking his head when he got to his final count. It was a group of twelve men, more than enough for their soldiers to take easily, especially since they thought that Lelouch had decided to remain below the castle for another day. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch was back at their camp, shouting orders to the skeleton crew of soldiers left with him and Rivalz as they distracted the mercenaries in the hills. Suzaku had already seen a few scouts ride back in to report the news.

With Lelouch in place their plan was obvious. They would sneak down to attack at night, especially since Lelouch had purposefully moved their camp away from the protection of the castle. As it was, the tents were snugged up against the base of the hills, perfectly in place for an ambush. Suzaku fully expected to see the mercenaries starting to move rocks to roll down on the camp, but they hadn’t gotten that far. After a long night of chasing both him and Lelouch through the town, they seemed to be more inclined to just wait for evening to fall.

Suzaku shifted in place behind his rock, allowing himself a moment to wonder at the men who had been found to attempt to kill the prince. Either they were overconfident or they didn’t know the man they had been paid to kill. Suzaku could more easily believe the latter than the former, especially since the news of what Lelouch had done to Luciano must have already spread through Britannia.

He had heard the men whispering about it as they settled down for the night in various tones of awe. After all, who could have believe a prince born sickly and more interested in books than swords could defeat someone who had been raised to one of the highest honors in the land. It hadn’t seemed the right time to point out that there had been two Knights of the Round at Itsukushima, and both had died in the battle.

His scanned over the camp one more time before retreating down the path, halfway expecting to run into guards that the mercenaries had set. But they hadn’t bothered to do that either. All they seemed to be focused on was catching up on the sleep they had lost tailing Lelouch and Suzaku through Cong. That didn’t stop Suzaku from throwing glances over his shoulder until he got back to where the other half of Lelouch’s troops were.

Now that he had seen the mercenary’s camp for himself, the entire cavalry section of their army seemed like overkill, but at least it was impressive. Suzaku looked over the men waiting patiently, a few of them nodding at him as he made his way over to where Gino and C.C. were waiting.

It was still strange to be allowed to pass, even when their gaze lingered on the collar around his neck. Considering the fact that he had been in and around camp on errands as well as joining them in their training Suzaku shouldn’t have been surprised. But, for every day that he forgot when he had been sent to Britannia as, there were two more where the memory wouldn’t leave him.

He was a slave, a yoke and a constant reminder of what Japan had done to Lelouch and a way to rid Japan of the next in line for the throne. There was nothing special about his placement, it was a punishment for all involved.

Suzaku averted his eyes as he made over to the stand of rocks C.C. and Gino were sitting by. He didn’t sit with them, but just rested his back against the rock. “There’s twelve of them, just back up the trail.”

He jerked his head in the direction of the mercenary camp, only looking up when he was done with the motion. He looked over Gino and C.C, not surprised when Gino was the one to get to his feet first.

The blond stretched his arms over his head with a long sigh. “Well, I guess that settles that. But only twelve? I was kind of hoping for more.” Gino stepped closer, lowering his voice. “They’re getting kind of jumpy. The idea of someone getting to Lelouch doesn’t sit well with them.”

“It’s surprising considering how much they complain about him.” C.C. spoke up from where she was sitting on the ground. She held up a flower, turning the stem between her fingers before shaking her head. “I guess you should go then, before they get wind of us. Or before his highness decides that we take too long. Just imagine the complaining they’ll do if the infantry snatches up their victory.”

Suzaku expected Gino to be insulted, but the man just laughed. Gino patted his shoulder, probably as a stand in since Suzaku couldn’t think of a man who would dare to touch C.C, before turning on his heel and calling the men to order.

He watched Gino go, eyeing the soldiers that they had brought with them. It was far too many for the twelve mercenaries, but at least they would have the advantage. Suzaku ran his fingers over the plain pommel of the sword that he had been given, ready to join them when C.C. held up a hand.

Obeying the order was an automatic reaction now, whether it came from Lelouch or not. Suzaku gritted his teeth, forcing his shoulders to relax as he turned to look back at her.

C.C. just grinned up at him, the hand holding the flower to wave Gino on. “I think you can manage without him. Besides, you wouldn’t leave me alone without a guard?”

Gino shot Suzaku a look that could have been apologetic, but the glance was too quick. Then he and the rest of the soldiers under his command were making their way up the path, all of them drifting out into the forest. The plan was probably to encircle the camp and drive everyone into the center. From there it would be easy to wipe them out or take prisoners, although Suzaku wasn’t sure which one Lelouch would have preferred.

He turned his attention back to C.C. when she cleared her throat. He watched the woman carefully, ready for her to give him some kind of order, but she seemed content to let him stand. Her indifference was confusing, but not unexpected. He had seen plenty of her back in Pendragon, lurking around the edges of things or staying close to Lelouch. He hadn’t seen as much of her while she had been visiting at Ashford, if that was really what she had been doing.

C.C. continued to ignore him until there all the soldiers were gone, her head tipped back like she was just enjoying a rest in the clearing. In the dappled light she looked like the women that some of the soldiers swore lurked in the forests or the stands of trees that fields were plowed around, otherworldly and dangerous.

“It’s rude to stare.”

Suzaku jumped when she spoke, raising an eyebrow when she opened an eye to look at him. He crossed his arms over his chest, glancing around the small clearing that they had halted in. “I didn’t know you needed a guard.”

If he hadn’t been watching her, he would have missed it. She pulled a knife from her belt and threw it, Suzaku just seeing the flash of light on the blade and hearing the sound of it traveling. He took a step back to avoid it, even when he knew that it wasn’t aimed at him.

The knife buried itself into the tree across from C.C, the whole thing trembling slightly. Suzaku stepped over to it, grabbing onto the hilt to get it to stop moving.

It took a sharp tug to get the blade out of the tree, Suzaku staring at it for a moment, partially convinced that he would be able to find some kind of spell on it. When he couldn’t find anything, he moved back over to C.C, offering the knife towards her hilt first. “Impressive.”

“You pick up a few things.” C.C. took the knife, carelessly wiping the blade on her skirt before slipping it back in her belt. Suzaku watched her fingers play along the other knives she had tucked in there before she lifted it away. “But there’s your proof, you caught me in a lie.”

“That was easy.”

“I’m not Lelouch. I don’t play word games, or at least his word games. And not when something is important.” She patted the ground beside her, repeating the motion when he didn’t immediately sit down.

Suzaku slowly lowered himself to the ground, falling into the position he was used to from Japan. If C.C. was surprised by it, she didn’t say anything. She just nodded at him before going back to touching the tops of her knives. “I would have preferred to not rush this, but Lelouch has been keeping you to himself.”

“I’m his slave.”

C.C. looked back at him, her gaze lingering on the collar he wore. Suzaku was surprised not to see the same look of wariness and discomfort that came with the others looking at it. To them, it meant that he was lower that the Numbers, something that most Britannians couldn’t quite comprehend. To her, it obviously meant something different, but Suzaku doubted that she would share. She might not play Lelouch’s word games, but she played plenty of her own.

She dragged her gaze up to meet his, C.C. granting him the admission with a slight tilt to her head. “And yet he trusts you, which is a rare thing. Since that’s the best case, I trust you too.”

“Against your better judgment?”

C.C. shook her head. “No. You’re perhaps the best one to watch over Lelouch when I go off to take care of business.”

Suzaku stared at her in shock, the expression on his face enough to win a laugh out of her. She tossed her head back, the sunlight catching on the side of her face. She was beautiful in the same way a wild animal was beautiful and Suzaku felt intimidated by it.

C.C. shook her head, her mouth still curled into a smile as she contained herself. “All these months in the royal court and you still don’t understand things.”

Suzaku bristled slightly at that. “I know that the emperor wants to kill Lelouch because he makes a nuisance of himself.” She tipped her head, conceding him that point. The motion made him bold enough to continue. “The emperor is behind this too, because Lelouch wasn’t supposed to have a loyal army. He was supposed to have Luciano’s army and his own guards.”

“I knew you weren’t as dumb as he pretended you were.” C.C. smiled at him, reaching down for her flower again. She started turning the stem between her fingers again, still and silent for a moment. And then she sighed and rolled her head to look at him. “Which is why I’m talking to you and not Rivalz or Gino. They know what’s happening, but they can’t understand. They know Charles finds Lelouch annoying, but they’ll never really see why until it’s too late.”

Suzaku was surprised by the casual way that she said the emperor’s name, but he kept quiet. It was the most that he had heard C.C. speak in the months that he had known her. He shifted slightly in place, trying to look like he was listening carefully.

His attentiveness drew another smile out of her, C.C. lowering her arm so the flower rested on her skirt. “Britannian emperors come to the throne through bloodshed and killing off the rest of their family, so Charles wants his children smart. It’s the only way they will survive. But he hates that they’re smart too, because they’re a threat to him. Schneizel manages better than Lelouch, he keeps himself quiet, busy and out of the way. Lelouch doesn’t know how to, Marianne didn’t either. And I guess Charles hates him for that too, for looking so much for Marianne.”

There was a strange wistfulness in C.C’s voice, Suzaku confused by the strength of it. He had overheard the rumors in the palace, of the two witches from the mountains that had seduced Charles years ago, but those had always been spoken by people who hated Lelouch. He had just assumed that all of the rumors were false, but maybe there were some truth in the more explicit ones.

He remained quiet, hoping to coax more out of C.C, but she just shook her head. “I expect Charles to become less prompt instead of giving up entirely. Somewhere along the line Lelouch pushed him too far, but I’m not as adept at reading him as I was. He tolerates my presence and I don’t want to end up on his list. It takes enough to keep Lelouch’s head above the water, and I don’t want risk my own safety.”

Suzaku tried his best not to react to the news, but he was sure that his face gave him away. He didn’t believe that the Japanese court was any less intricate and dangerous, but at least there the danger was in losing your position, not your life. At least there was some kind of order to the place instead of the strongest winning everything.

He cleared his throat, using the moment to try and control his expression. “I think Lelouch will see things coming long before I do.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?”

“You’re unpredictable.” She waved the flower in his direction. “Lelouch has complained about it enough. You never do what we wants or expects you to do, and I’m sure Charles has the same problem. He expected Lelouch to kill you, but he hasn’t. He expects you to stand by and watch as Lelouch is killed, but you didn’t. I’m sure that he doesn’t expect the two of you to work together, but you will. Your loyalty is something that he will never factor in while mine,” C.C. chuckled, “mine is well known by now. I’m the familiar shield with Marianne’s lightning bolt plastered across it.”

“Then what am I?”

“I would call you a dagger, but I doubt you’d like that comparison. You’re too noble for that.” She laughed again before Suzaku could protest that he wasn’t. She tapped the flower against her chin before flicking it into his lap, obviously coming to a decision. “A sword then. A great and terrible weapon for whichever side gets your loyalty.”

Suzaku felt his mouth drop open, surprised that she could read him so well. He quickly lowered his gaze, staring at the cuffs of his shirt. It was an act of will not to remember what they had looked like stained in blood, his fathers or the assassins.

He took a deep breath, locking his gaze on the flower in his lap as a safe, neutral place. It took a couple more breaths before he was ready to look up at C.C. again. Finding words was harder, so he settled for a sharp nod. Looking after Lelouch’s safety was something that he would have to do as they traveled to the border. If C.C. wanted him to watch the prince and for any other moves that the emperor made against his son, it would be an easy thing to do.

She stared at him for a long moment before getting to her feet. C.C. didn’t bother to brush the dirt from her skirt, she just walked over towards where the trail started to wind its way out of the hills.

Suzaku scrambled to his feet, turning to see where she was going when C.C. waved for him to stop. “You should wait for Gino and the others, they should be done soon. I think Lelouch would prefer if you came back with them instead of with me. He’d get suspicious.”

“Of his allies?”

C.C. gave him one of her enigmatic smiles and started down the trail. Suzaku watched her go, tempted to escort her down to the camp but didn’t think she would let him. She would return to Lelouch, give him the report far ahead of when Gino and the others got back and ride off on whatever task that had spurred her conversation again. Then, he wouldn’t see her until she slid back to Lelouch’s side like she had always been there.

Suzaku sighed and reached up to run a hand through his hair. The lack of manacles startled him again, Suzaku staring down at his bare wrist. He traced the line of the callous there, curling his fingers towards his palm. There was no point in hiding the other callouses on his hands, Lelouch probably knew them all and had them categorized; the slave called Lancelot broken down into neat and careful parts in the prince’s head. Or maybe Lelouch was just as baffled as his father, because Suzaku refused to follow all the rules that he should. And all the while he didn’t know who rode beside him in a trusted position.

A great and terrible weapon indeed.


	16. Glance

The hills were strangely disconcerting. Suzaku had been in and out of them before, it had been a part of his training with Tohdoh. He might not have known the lay of the land as well as the locals, but he could at least have a running knowledge better than just looking on a map.

Suzaku twisted in the saddle to look over his shoulder, distracted from looking down the trail to where the hills rose around them. He swallowed and scanned the trees that lined the tops. He couldn’t see any of the raiders, but he doubted that they would show themselves. Suzaku wasn’t stupid enough to believe that they were looking for Japanese or Britannian soldiers, any who had been tricked by the attacks would have gone home. What they were working for were the raiders that had started the back and forth.

Suzaku had his own reservations about the two of them tracking down the men who had done it, but Lelouch was determined. Just what two people could do against a bunch of hill tribe warriors, Suzaku didn’t know, but he was willing to bet that Lelouch wasn’t going to just keep what they were doing reconnaissance. He had seen the determined look on the prince’s face when he had ridden out. It was just a matter of figuring out whether Lelouch was so determined for the sake of the people whose town had been destroyed or for the chance to win over the soldiers at Fort Kawaguchi.

His gaze slid from the tops of the hills, Suzaku staring at the sides of the hills himself. Edo didn’t have hills like this. They were further out from the capital and closer to Mount Fuji. The Kururugi Shrine was situated on a hill, but that was his only experience. These were older, worn down and rolling one after another like waves. Suzaku fully expected to see the exposed bones of sea creatures in the hills.

He had seen plenty of them pulled out from the hills when he and Tohdoh had visited the villages. There would be skeletons of huge whales that had stretched through entire homes. Suzaku distinctly remembered staring up at the huge creatures in awe, especially when he would be told that the villagers had found them just in the hills and nowhere near the ocean.

What he remembered most were the tales that they would tell, about how there had once been a sea between Japan and Britannia. The villagers would whisper about the strange painted people, but he could never get any of the elders to talk about the painted people, they all treated them like they were ghosts.

What they always wanted to talk about was how the hills came into being. About how, after her brother had thrown the flayed body of her favorite horse into her house, Amaterasu Omikami had fled in rage and shock. To get away from her brother, she fled across the sea. It had burned away behind her, leaving the land underneath and the memory of waves. The sea had never come back, not even when [Amaterasu](http://www.ancient.eu/Amaterasu/) had been lured from her cave. The villagers had said that the bones were of creatures who hadn’t been able to get away from the great goddess’ flight, and that their bones still rested in the hills, waiting to be found.

When he had been younger, he had wanted nothing more than to go charging into the hills to find the truth in the stories. Now that he as older he wasn’t as keen to go disturbing the ancient creatures’ rest. The hills felt just as sacred as the villagers had said. Suzaku almost believed that he would hear the echoes of the long ago celebration and see Amaterasu stepping out from her cave. But he saw nothing but the scree from the hills.

He turned his attention back to his horse as the grey jerked to a stop. The horse tossed its head, Suzaku letting the reins drape loose as he tried to figure out what was causing the problem.

Lelouch’s black charger was balking at a narrow point of the trail. The horse tossed its head, trying to sidle in the small space. Suzaku heard Lelouch curse as the prince kicked his horse on. The animal protested for a moment longer before snorting and ducking under the spindly tree that partially leaned over the path.

Suzaku waited for the horse to go through the space before nudging the grey through after them. His horse didn’t seem to mind the narrowing of the path and the tree, Suzaku ducking close to the horse’s neck.

He fixed his gaze on the path ahead, looking for any signs of the raiders that they were looking for. He couldn’t see anything on the trail that they were following, but he doubted that Lelouch would just lead them blindly through the hills. Time was on the essence now that they were on the border. Suzaku didn’t know if this was the grand plan that Charles zi Britannia had or if Lelouch was waiting for another blow. Paying for raiders on the border would be more than enough to make the garrisons lose trust in Lelouch and raise the chance of the eleventh prince dying. After all, if Lelouch wanted to stay alive he would have to fight, and things could always happen during a battle.

Suzaku tightened his hold on the reins, redoubling his efforts to search for signs of the raiders. They couldn’t be more than half a day ahead, which meant they could run into them at any time. But the raiders had the advantage of a half a day and the fact that they knew the hills far better than either he or Lelouch did. He fully expected to see some kind of hill tribe to come rushing down on their horses and corralling them on the small path.

He shivered at the thought, reaching back to rest his hand on his sword. He wished that Lelouch would bring more soldiers on these trips, but Lelouch seemed to prefer to work with as few people as possible. The prince said that it was more efficient, but Suzaku just thought that Lelouch was looking for an excuse to do what his older brothers and sister did, go out on his own and provide a victory that would satisfy his father. Suzaku didn’t think that Lelouch was naïve enough to believe that Charles would stop his campaign against him, but it would at least mean a victory over the emperor.

He drummed his fingers against the pommel of the sword, letting the grey pick its way down to where the path widened. Suzaku tipped his head at the sound of water running over the rocks. The grey pricked his ears as well, Suzaku not bothering to stop the horse from making its way over to the stream and dropping its head to drink. Suzaku loosened his hands on the reins a bit, taking the chance to look around.

It was a nice little dip in the hills, the ground changing from loose stone to the green of the hills that he was used to seeing from the sides of the hills closer to the border. He hummed and stood up in his stirrups, not surprised when he couldn’t see over the trees. They thinned out when they got to the top of the hills but, to his right, the trees grew thickly in the space between the hills. It was just the place that raiders would hide in, especially with clean water flowing so close.

He reached out to touch Lelouch’s shoulder, jerking his chin towards the forest. The prince glanced at the trees before raising an eyebrow and nodding. There was no reason not to take all the precautions that they could, especially since the raiders could be anywhere. He waited for Lelouch to rest a hand on his scabbard before nudging his horse forward.

It was a relief that the grey went easily. If something was wrong, the grey was bound to pick it up. Suzaku didn’t think that the grey would react to the smell of blood the same way Lelouch’s horse did. The black was a trained war horse, used to battle and blood. The war horse would be like having another soldier, but the grey was just a good riding horse, something that Suzaku was glad for.

He loosened the reins a bit more, the grey lowering its head to sniff at a patch of tall grass before snatching a mouthful. Suzaku kicked the horse forward, the grey snorting and walking into the forest.

The horse went easily, its head bobbing smoothing as it walked. Suzaku relaxed with each stride. The forest might be clear, which meant that they could press on to find the raiders. Suzaku wanted to get back to the fort long before the sunset. To do otherwise would be tempting fate.

He lurched forward as the grey stopped. The horse raised its head, Suzaku watching the grey’s head turn from side to side. The horse’s nostrils flared,

Suzaku drew his sword slowly, trying to keep the sound as quiet as possible. He kept an eye on the horse even as he looked around. He couldn’t see anything in the forest around him, but he couldn’t hear anything either. Forests weren’t meant to be silent. He tightened his grip on the longsword, shifting his weight back.

He jerked his head around when he saw a flicker of white out of the corner of his eye. He stared into the woods, waiting to see the flash again, but he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t. It was almost like the ghosts that he had heard stories of. Or maybe it was a goddess. Suzaku swallowed, trying to wet his suddenly dry throat. He was about to call out the goddess’ name when he felt his horse suck in a breath. The grey held it for a moment before letting out its breath in a loud whinny.

Suzaku felt the horse’s sides flutter against his legs with the sound, frozen by the noise. They grey wouldn’t be calling to Lelouch’s horse, it knew where the war horse was. It had obviously smelled another horse, which could be bad news.

Suzaku sucked in a quick breath, ready to nudge the grey on when he heard the answering whinny. He turned around in the saddle, staring at a shape on the hill. From the way that Lelouch’s spine stiffened, the prince had seen the horse and rider too.

He muttered a curse under his breath, scrambling for a better hold on the reins. He tried to pull the horse around with one hand, but he saw the flash of white out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head in time to see a sword swing down towards his head.

Suzaku leaned back in the saddle, trying to back the grey up even as he raised his sword to defend himself. He heard the distinct clang of metal on metal, and then the grey was shying to the side.

The reins slid out of his hands, Suzaku cursing and trying to haul himself upright. The horse responded well enough to the pressure of his legs so he was able to nudge the horse around. He scrambled one handed for the reins that were draped over the horse’s neck, not wanting the grey to trip over them. He would be at a disadvantage on foot, one that he didn’t have to deal with. So far, there were only two, but Suzaku was sure that more would come.

He gathered the reins in his hand, kicking the grey forward. Now that the other horse was cantering out of the forest he could see the distinctive paint markings that seemed to come with their horses. Suzaku gritted his teeth and leaned forward, looking between the rider coming out of the forest and the rider coming down from the hill. It was obvious which one was going to reach Lelouch first, it was just a matter of deciding if Lelouch would be able to handle either of them.

Suzaku opted for the cautious route. He muttered and curse under his breath and hefted his longsword. He held the grey steady with his knees before throwing the sword with all of his might.

The longsword was not made for throwing so it flew oddly. Suzaku fully expected it to miss, but luck was with him. The raider turned their head just in time for the pommel of the sword to whack them in their face.

The raider cursed and reached up to grab at their bleeding nose. Their horse shied away from the sword falling close to its body and the smell of blood, which was victory enough.

Suzaku turned the grey towards where Lelouch was backing his horse out of the stream. The second horse and rider were bearing down on them quickly, too fast for either of them. Suzaku cursed again and kicked the grey on, ignoring the horse’s noise of protest as the two of them galloped in the stream.

There was a moment before the impact when he had a brief thought about how stupid the move was, but then the two horses were slamming into each other. Suzaku heard one of the horses scream, the sound loud in his ears even as he reached for the raider.

He grabbed for the man’s shirt, feeling his fingers curl into fur the moment before the two of them went tumbling. Suzaku tried to shove the man into hitting the ground first, and was mostly successful until his own shoulder knocked against the streambed. He grunted at the impact but didn’t dare let go of the raider, especially when he could hear the horses scrambling to their feet.

He took a deep breath, uncurling the fingers of one hand to grab for the sword by the raider’s side. He managed to get a hold of it before the raider could, pulling it out of the scabbard and stabbing down.

The drop down was farther than he expected, Suzaku staring down at the sword that was shoved into the man’s chest. It was a shorter short for use on horseback, far rougher than he would have imagined. Apparently, Charles’ money hadn’t gone into new weapons.

Suzaku let his breath hiss out from between his teeth, stumbling away from the corpse in the stream. He looked over at where Lelouch was still mounted on his horse.

The prince looked shocked by what had happened, not that Suzaku blamed him. Lelouch was used to battles that were played out on a flat field and in books.

He shook his head and waded to the bank, pausing to look his grey horse over. The horse was trembling slightly, but it looked like it was in good shape, as were both the raiders painted horses. Suzaku reached up to pat one of the horses’ noses, steadying himself there for a moment before looking down at the rider that was still on the ground.

The man had a hand clamped to his nose, although he had stopped writhing. Suzaku gave the man a long glance, making sure that he would remain there before stepping over him.

Suzaku reclaimed his sword from the ground, trying to ignore the splatter of blood on the pommel as he walked over to Lelouch.

Lelouch glanced between the sword that Suzaku was holding and the dead raider in the middle of the stream. The prince cleared his throat, Suzaku watching as Lelouch gathered himself up. “That was…excessive.”

“It wasn’t planned.” Suzaku wiped the pommel on the end of his shirt, making a disgusted face at the smears of blood. He jammed the longsword back into its scabbard.

“Obviously.” Lelouch sniffed, Suzaku not sure if the prince disapproved of it all or was still in shock.

The prince nudged his horse closer, stopping the animal before it stepped on the prone raider. Lelouch leaned over, humming as he stared at the man. “At least you spared one. Now we can get somewhere.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to remind Lelouch that they _had_ been getting somewhere when the prince slid off of his horse. He sighed and came to meet Lelouch, leaving the horses to graze on the grass. They seemed content enough and Suzaku doubted that any more of the raiders would be coming their way. The two that they had encountered had seemed like scouts, which meant they had a few hours before they would be missed.

He dropped into a crouch by the raider, hauling the man upright. Suzaku got a glimpse at the man’s nose, wincing at bit at the sight of the bloody wreck, but he quickly schooled his face into seriousness. It probably looked worse than it was considering how much blood was there. A broken nose and maybe a few facial bones broken, but it wasn’t deadly.

Suzaku got a better grip on the man’s shoulder, giving him a long look. The man glared back, the angry look on his face wavering when Lelouch crouched down beside him.

The prince eyed the raider before shaking his head. “So, you’re the ones my father paid.”

The raider turned his head, spitting out a bit of blood. Lelouch seemed to take that as his answer, the prince dropping his hand to rest on the pommel of his sword. The raider’s gaze lingered on it, Lelouch nodding slowly. “So we understand each other, good. Now, the way I see it, you have a few choices. You could try to escape, but you won’t get far. He’ll stop you.”

The raider glanced up to meet Suzaku’s gaze, Suzaku surprised when the man laughed. “The slave?”

The man’s Britannian was strangely accented, Suzaku trying to place it. He had never heard the accent in his life but, then again, he wasn’t surprised. Japan didn’t have many dealing with the hill people.

Lelouch didn’t seem to be bothered by the man’s amusement. The prince nodded. “Yes, the slave. You do realize that he had no problem taking the two of you down before.”

“We are many.”

“Lancelot can handle you.”

Suzaku wasn’t sure if it was the name or the surety in Lelouch’s voice that made the raider pause. The man looked him up and down before turning to look back at Lelouch.

The prince nodded. “Then you have two choices. One, you can lead us to where the rest of your band is, or we will force you to take us there.”

The raider licked his lips. “I’ll be dead if you do that.”

“You’ll be dead if you don’t.”

The man shook his head, Suzaku not sure if he was making his choice or just taking in what was going on. The raider shifted like he was preparing to run, but the man jerked to a stop, his eyes locked on the hill behind them.

Lelouch immediately looked away, but Suzaku made sure to get a good hold on the raider before looking at the hill. His eyes widened when he saw a group of people on the hill. He looked over their painted horses, his hand straying back towards his sword.

He was stopped from pulling it out by Lelouch’s hand on his arm. The prince gave a quick shake of his head before drawing his hand back. “It looks like they arrived.”

“They?”

“You didn’t think that I would ride in here without any kind of back up.” Lelouch chuckled and stood up. “We needed people who knew these hills, and there is no one better than the people of the hills themselves. Get him tied to his horse. He’s going to show us the way.”

Suzaku looked back at the raider, the man still staring in awe at the line of people on the hill. Suzaku sighed and hauled the man to his feet, giving him a shove towards one of the painted horses.

He didn’t know much about the hill people, aside from the fact that they raided on both sides of the border equally and that they had little to do with any civilization. If they had towns and cities themselves, then they were lost along the hills. Suzaku eyed the people who were coming down the hill, finding himself looking for the strange painted symbols that the villagers swore that the first people on the far away island wore. After all, if they inhabited the hills where Amaterasu had gone, then they must have some kind of magic themselves.

He shook his head, amused by the way his thoughts were turning. It must have been because he was so close to Japan that he was thinking of the old stories.

Suzaku glanced back in the direction of the Japanese side of the border before focusing on shoving the raider up onto his horse. It was a simple matter to cut one of the reins from the bit and use it to tie the man’s hands to the pommel of the saddle. He kept a hold of the other rein as he swung back up onto the grey, turning the horse’s head away when the grey tried to bite at the paint. By the way that the paint’s ears were laid back, he’d have his hands full with both the horse and the rider.

He sighed, leaning back into the saddle. He gave the other paint horse a glance, sure that the hill people would pick it up, they would be stupid to leave a good horse behind.

He didn’t get much time to contemplate what was going on because Lelouch was already spurring his horse across the stream. Suzaku clucked to his grey, ponying the painted horse behind him as they went to meet the people coming down the hill.


	17. Stars

Suzaku slid off the grey’s back, looking around the small camp that had been set up. He had always heard about the tribes that rode the border, but they had been half wild tales of women who had either risen from the waters of the sea that had once divided Britannia and Europa from Japan and parts of the Chinese Federation or they had been misshapen creations of the gods in their youth, women who acted too much like men and were bonded to their horses for life. It was the sort of nonsense that sounded better in a story or a play, but that didn’t stop him from looking for the red string that he had heard bound the horse to the rider.

None of the women wore it, nor did they spare any time for them. They were too busy rushing back to where a small group of men were crouched around the fire. The men looked like they had just finished up with the camp, although the reversal of position hadn’t stopped them from gathering up their weapons. They were all backing towards a singular tent, one slightly more ornate that the others. He didn’t get a chance to study the tent too much longer, his attention jerked away when Lelouch knocked into him.

He glanced up at the prince, earning a quick muttered “Manners” for his trouble. Suzaku rolled his eyes, automatically taking the reins of Lelouch’s horse.

He fell into step behind Lelouch, very aware of the women falling in to flank him. Suzaku glanced at the woman closest to him, surprised to see that she looked Japanese. He had always heard that the women were a race unto themselves, but he wasn’t surprised that he was wrong. After all, he had always been told that the border tribes just killed men on sight and that was obviously not true. They had men in their group and they had let Lelouch in.

It was obvious that Lelouch had planned something with them. The group had been waiting for them when they had ridden into the hills beyond the fort at the tip of Lake Kawaguchi. Suzaku had never seen any of the tribes waiting so close to forts, not even when the generals were trying to bribe them to stay away from the villages on the border. Suzaku vaguely remembered a Japanese woman waiting for them in an inn in Cong. He glanced around at the group, trying to see if he could find the woman in their ranks. It was a small group, smaller than he had expected, but the woman wasn’t there.

He frowned, stopping when Lelouch held out an arm. He bumped up against Lelouch’s arm, the prince shooting him an annoyed look. “Pass the horses off to them and keep close to me.”

“I thought you said they wouldn’t hurt us.”

“They won’t, but I don’t want you wandering off and causing trouble.”

“ _I_ would cause trouble.”

“You have done nothing but.” The words were softened with a smile that was almost fond, and then Lelouch was striding away into the center of the camp.

Suzaku rolled his eyes but passed the reins off to the first pair of empty hands that reached for them. He watched as the horses were led off to be picketed by the tribe’s horses. Nothing seemed too strange aside from the fact that he had never seen any of the border tribes calm. He had never seen them in person, but everything that he had seen in the plays and heard from Tohdoh had seemed to indicate that they would attack for any reason. Suzaku hummed to himself, glancing around at the semicircle of tents.

The shock of their appearance seemed to have worn off, the camp going back into motion. Suzaku watched one of the women hip check one of the men, the two of them exchanging bright smiles before sitting down by the fire. He found himself looking for weapons anyway, not surprised when he found them. He doubted that the border tribes would put their weapons aside for anyone, but it made him aware of the sword that he had kept on his saddle on Lelouch’s orders.

He sped up to catch up to Lelouch, falling into step behind the prince as the escort came to the front of the more elaborate tent. Suzaku watched as the rest of the guard peeled off to go back to their duties, leaving them with the blond girl who had first met them and one of the men who had remained behind. Suzaku glanced between the two of them, his gaze lingering on the man. He thought he saw the familiar curve of a katana, but the man shifted and took the weapon out of his line of sight. He sighed, thinking that he heard a chuckle from the man, and then his attention was taken up by the interior of the tent.

It was far more comfortable than the tents he had slept in on campaigns. Tohdoh had insisted that he rough it despite his status as the shogun’s son, which had helped with the loyalty of the men, not that he’d gotten the chance to use it.

Suzaku scuffed the toe of his boot across the carpet, staring at the intricate patterns. None of the carpets were the same, creating a hodgepodge of color and pattern on the floor, but it was comfortable. Certainly different from a tent on a campaign.

He skimmed over the pillows and small trinkets that were tucked away in the tent, absently searching for weapons even as he acquainted himself with the space. Lelouch might have been convinced that they were allies, but Suzaku couldn’t think of one instance of the hill tribes being so overly friendly with anyone. He turned the thought over in his head, his answer coming quickly when he looked at the women in the room. There were three old woman sitting on stools, the low lamplight glittering off the gold and jewels that they wore. It was obvious that it was a show of power, one that made sense when he saw the younger woman lounging on the cushions close to one side of the tent.

C.C. met his gaze, giving him a slow nod as she sat up. “So they managed to find you. You’ve been a hard person to keep track of.”

Lelouch shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea.”

That got a laugh out of C.C, the woman giving an approving nod. “So you do listen.”

“Sometimes.” Lelouch turned his gaze away from C.C, offering a bow to the three old women. A quick wave of his hand had Suzaku doing the same, although he didn’t look away from them.

The three didn’t seem to be offended, one them of them seemed amused by the fact that he wasn’t showing the exact amount of deference. One leaned over to talk to her fellows in a strange language that sounded almost familiar. Suzaku picked out words that sounded Britannian and Japanese, but the rest was completely unintelligible. Whatever the old woman said, it made the other two smile. They nodded almost as one before the oldest and most decorated of the bunch motioned for them to rise.

“We see you Prince Lelouch vi Britannia. Do you come in peace?”

“I do.”

“But you come to ask for a favor?” The second old woman spoke up, a smile on her face despite her question.

Lelouch hesitated, Suzaku amused by the fact that the prince was so thrown off. Since they had left Pendragon, Lelouch had had everything perfectly calculated, save for three old women in the hills between Britannia and Japan. He smothered a bark of laughter when Lelouch shifted in place, the prince clearing his throat.

“Yes, on behalf on the goodwill between our families.”

The second woman laughed again. “You’re talking about your mother? Her family put off wandering generations before she was born, but we still recognize you. Actions may speak louder, but blood joins us all.” She nodded slowly. “But we understand what you sent to us through your messenger.”

She gestured over at C.C. Suzaku turned his attention to her, raising an eyebrow. He had heard the rumors that floated through the court, rumors of enchantment and fiendish plans made by two women who were from the hill tribes. Suzaku had always shaken it off as the superstitions of the court, just like he had shrugged off the talk that they were going to finally eliminate the hill tribes.

As far as he knew, there was no way of getting rid of them. Europa and the Chinese Federation practically paid them to roam the hills and forests of the borders between their countries and Britannia. If they hadn’t spent so much time annoying the northern prefectures, Japan would have done the same. Besides, no one knew the hills like they did, it would be impossible to root them out.

The first old woman nodded slowly, sinking further back into her chair with a sigh. “We won’t send everyone with you, there are some among us that can’t travel. Sophie will have to remain with her husband, and Kate must remain as well. You have you own physician with you.”

Lelouch nodded slowly, like he was reluctant to give away the information. If the women saw his hesitation, they didn’t comment on it.

They turned their attention to themselves, muttering in Britannian. Suzaku could catch a few words here and there, but nothing that made any sense to him.

“If only Ashley…”

“He’s too far away to be called back.”

“It was another promise.”

“Johannes will keep him safe.”

There was a snort from the third woman, a sound that all three seemed to agree with. The first woman turned her attention back to them, making a lazy motion towards front of the tent. “Join us for the night. Leila will return with you to your fort in the morning with the forces you need.”

“Thank you.” Lelouch bowed again, taking a step back. His hand grabbed onto Suzaku’s arm, the command implicit. They had gotten what they wanted, although Suzaku was confused about what exactly had gone on. Lelouch had gotten a few more soldiers, capable cavalry soldiers, although what that would do for Lelouch Suzaku didn’t know. There was some kind of quiet war going on between Lelouch on his father, but Suzaku had no idea what the steps were. Asking the hill tribes for help was possibly one of those moves, but Suzaku couldn’t be sure.

He turned to leave with Lelouch, surprised when the third old woman cleared her throat. He turned his head to look at the old lady, watching as she flicked her fingers at him. “Go on, prince. We won’t keep your slave long.”

For a moment, it looked like Lelouch would argue. Then C.C. got to her feet and grabbed his arm. Even then she was practically dragging him out of the tent.

Suzaku watched the two of them go before turning to look at the old women. All signs of geniality were gone from their faces, the three old women regarding him seriously.

The third was the one to talk, the woman leaning forward. “We have our promise from the prince, but we need one for you.”

“Why?”

“The Japanese haven’t always been kind to us.” The woman tipped her head. “We take in a few, the ones that your country would prefer to disappear, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll be safe. The prince will march in Japan after his sister with our people with him, we want to make sure that they will come back.”

Suzaku swallowed, aware of the collar around his neck. “Why would you need that from me?”

The woman laughed. “I have eyes and ears. We keep track of rumors. We watch your wars to figure out when we need to leave. I’ve seen you before and know that you’re the one to get my promise from. So, Kururugi Suzaku, will you make sure our family comes home?”

He reacted automatically, trying to shush her despite the fact that no one was in the tent with him. Suzaku still glanced back towards the tent flaps, waiting for Lelouch to poke his head in and relieved when he didn’t. He sighed and relaxed his shoulders, turning to look at the old women again. “I can’t, not like this.”

The women shifted in their chairs, Suzaku sure that they were all staring at his collar. The remained silent for a moment before the third one sighed. “You’ve fallen far, little phoenix.”

Suzaku turned on his heel to walk away, preferring not to remain with them any longer. He was relieved when they just let him. He didn’t want to think about the promise that they had asked of him or what that meant. He didn’t want to think about the life he had left behind, because it was all forfeit anyway. Sawazaki was shogun and there was nothing Suzaku could do about it. The only things he could worry about was keeping Lelouch alive while he was on the border and helping him when Lelouch finally decided to make his attempt to retrieve his sister. Everything else was beyond him.

He had fallen far.

He absently rubbed at his collar as he made his way through the tents. Suzaku was almost relieved that none of the people came to talk to him. He could feel their stares on him, Suzaku sure that they could see through him just as easily as their elders had. After all, they had to be on the same alert with everything that was going on over the border.

Suzaku stopped at the edge of the camp, glancing over to where the horses were before looking out over the hills. He didn’t quite know where on the border he was, but he was sure that Japan was somewhere in front of him. His home should have called to him, but it didn’t. The thought just made him want to run.

He swallowed, reaching up to touch his collar. It wasn’t that he liked being a slave, being lower than the Numbers in Britannia, but Lelouch was a far better option than anyone else. With Lelouch he could at least try to make himself useful, although Suzaku wasn’t sure what that would do in the end.

He dropped his hand from his collar when he heard someone walking up to him. Suzaku turned, sighing when he saw Lelouch approaching. The prince must have dropped C.C. off somewhere because she wasn’t with him.

Lelouch stopped beside him, his gaze locked on the next line of hills. “What did they say?”

“Nothing.” Suzaku winced, glad that Lelouch wasn’t looking at him. “They just remarked on the collar.”

Lelouch hummed, his own hand coming up to rub against his neck. “Yes. We’ll have to do something about that. You’ll stand out in Japan.”

“You’re sending me back?” Suzaku looked at him in shock.

If Lelouch noticed, the prince didn’t show it. He kept staring out at the hills. “Father expects me to be on border duty, which means I can’t personally use this advantage, but you can. As soon as we settle ourselves in the forts I’ll honor my promise.”

Suzaku frowned. “Against the emperor’s wishes?”

“I’m going to be doing a lot of things against my father’s wishes. One of those will be holding the border forts against him. I’m not going to let him just charge into Japan, not while Nunnally is still somewhere in there. But I need someone to trust to go after her, someone who knows the land. You and C.C. are the only ones that can do that.”

“You trust me that much?”

Lelouch nodded. “You could have killed me several times over on the way down here. You could have let them kill me back in Pendragon. It’s confusing and infuriating because it’s not what I wanted. Against my better judgment, I trust you.”

Suzaku felt his throat go dry, struggling to come up with something to say. He had never expected to return, at least not without taking off on his own and he had never expected Lelouch to be the one to give him that permission. He had expected to end his life serving at the prince’s side or running off into Japan and hoping that the right authorities caught him. Maybe he would have gotten a chance to make up for stealing Nunnally away, maybe he wouldn’t.

“Lelouch…”

“Don’t think too much about it. I try not to.” Lelouch sighed, running a weary had through his hair. “Just, will you do it? There’s no one else that I can trust.”

He wanted to say no, because he was the one that took Nunnally away. He was the one that had thrown Nunnally on the mercies of Kiirhara and all of his machinations. It was his fault that Nunnally had been married to the new shogun before disappearing somewhere beyond where Lelouch could reach. It was all his fault, so it was only right that he fix it and he hated the logic behind it.

He ducked his head, ignoring the pinch of the collar against his neck. “I’ll do it.”

“Thank you.” The words were sighed out. Lelouch swayed in place, Suzaku was sure that the prince would go back to the people.

From what he could hear, it sounded like they were starting up a celebration. Suzaku wasn’t sure it they were celebrating their alliance with Lelouch, the return of someone that was distantly related to them, or if they were just gearing themselves up for whatever would follow. Whatever happened, Suzaku was sure that Lelouch would have a fight on his hands. Holding the border when his father wanted him to disappear would be hard.

He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. Tomorrow they would be back with the rest of Lelouch’s soldiers, and he could drown his confusion in training. If he was going to leave, he was going to make sure that Lelouch was well protected. There was no point in making up for his mistake if he would bring Nunnally back to her dead brother.

Suzaku jumped when he felt something rest on his shoulder. He opened one eye, surprised to see that Lelouch was just allowing his hand to rest on his shoulder. Any touches between the two of them had been brief, and Lelouch had seemed inclined to keep it that way.

Suzaku turned his head to look at Lelouch, watching as the prince opened his mouth to say something before he shook his head and walked away. Suzaku turned to watch Lelouch go, the prince returning to the celebration. He knew that he should follow, it was habit by now. Suzaku shifted in place before turning to look back at Japan. He tried to pick out lights from any nearby town, but they were too deep into the hills for that.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, ignoring the metal of the collar. He didn’t feel like celebrating, but he didn’t feel like tempting C.C. to talk to him. She had a habit of finding him in strange moments and pulling him into stranger conversations. It wouldn’t be too strange for him to stand on the outskirts and keep a watch on Lelouch or check on their things.

He glanced back at the fire and the people dancing around it before turning and going to check on their horses.


	18. Twisted

“Riders!”

The shout made Suzaku pause in the middle of the  _kata_  that he was moving through. He turned, the sword still raised awkwardly in the air. The longsword that the Britannians used was not made for the slashing cuts that he had been taught, but it was good exercise to change the  _kata_  to match the sword. It also kept his back moving, something that Cecile insisted on. Apparently, the time to rest it was over and now it was time to build up the muscle again. Suzaku was sure that he had no choice, especially since Lelouch seemed to be prepared to entrench himself on the border of Britannia. If the prince was there to stay, then Suzaku was sure that they would see more fighting over the upcoming weeks.

He lowered the sword carefully, looking back over at the gate. The two guards on duty were leaning forward, Suzaku almost afraid that the light plate armor would drag them over by how far they were leaning. Even with the addition of the borrowed warriors from the hill tribes, Suzaku didn’t want to lose any of their soldiers. Fort Kawaguchi was well garrisoned, but not all of them were happy that Lelouch was there. Suzaku wasn’t sure if that was because they hated the close royal influence or because they had heard the rumors about the eleventh prince. All he knew was that they weren’t talking to him, which was fine.

He’d prefer not to be dragged into whatever business the garrison had. They had made it clear enough that they had no time for any Japanese.

The guards continued to lean over the gate, Suzaku in the act of sheathing the long sword when they straightened up again. One continued to stare out over the wall while the other leaned over the wooden railing to shout into the yard. “No flags, but they look like they’re running!”

“Any sign of pursuit?” The shout surprised him, Suzaku turning to look at where Lelouch was walking out of the fort. The prince glanced his way, gesturing for Suzaku to join him.

Suzaku strode across the courtyard, his attention more on the guards than on the prince.

The guards were conferring with each other, the two of them rising up as far as they could go and staring at the horizon. The shaking of their heads answer enough, but one turned to shout down at them anyway.

“None. It’s been clear since you rode in with your raiders.”

“The Roma.” Lelouch huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. His fingers drummed against his arm before he shook his head. “Open the gates, let them in. Everyone, ready yourselves.”

Lelouch’s guard was quick to respond while the fort garrison took their time. Lelouch narrowed his eyes at the half assed movements, but he said nothing. Suzaku was sure that the garrison captains would be getting a talking down as soon as the riders were gone. Lelouch was obviously in no mood to play around. Then again, the prince had been closeted with Leila and her lieutenants all day. Whatever had gone on in the great hall of the fort had obviously come to a good end, but it had taken a lot of talking and Lelouch wasn’t in the best of moods. He had lost something, but just what would have to wait. Suzaku was sure that he would hear about it later.

He dropped his hand to the hilt of his sword, trying to look like he was standing at attention as the gates groaned open. Suzaku leaned to the side, trying to get a glimpse of the two riders before they came in.

The wooden doors of the gate swung open slowly, Suzaku hearing the clatter of the horses’ hooves in the passage between the portcullis and the wooden doors. Closer to him, he could hear the soldiers tightening their grip on their weapons, silence falling over the courtyard.

It was broken when the doors were finally opened, the two riders walking into the courtyard. Their horses were dark with sweat, foam at the sides of their mouths and on their chests. It didn’t take much to get the horses to slow down, both of them looked like they were on the edge of collapse.

Soldiers rushed forward to take the horses’ reins, moving far faster than when Lelouch had called them to attention. The prince didn’t seem to mind, his attention was fixed on the two people that were practically falling off the horse.

It took him a moment to recognize the people that had slid from their horses, Suzaku surprised to see the two of them so far from the capital, Nina especially. He didn’t think that the woman would ever leave Pendragon, not while her work with Lloyd kept her there and certainly not when Princess Euphemia rarely left the capital herself.

The other man took him longer to recognize, Suzaku not able to place the man until Lelouch stepped forward and spoke his name. “Earl Maldini.”

Suzaku tried his best to hide his surprise. He had seen Kanon trailing along after Schneizel like a shadow the few days that the third prince had been in Pendragon. The man had remained behind for a few days before disappearing ask suddenly as he had appeared. But Kanon had always looked more put together than he did now. Both he and Nina were in dirty, plain clothes and looked nothing like themselves, or maybe that was the point.

He curled his fingers more securely around his sword, meeting Kanon’s gaze when the man looked at him. From the slight widening of the man’s eyes, Kanon understood the implied threat. If the two of them had come from Pendragon disguised and at speed, then they were bring nothing but bad news.

Kanon cleared his throat and looked away. “Prince Lelouch. It’s a relief to see you.”

“I would ask why, but I’m afraid of what you will tell me.”

Kanon gave a weak smile. “There’s been an attack on Pendragon, focused on the royal family. The emperor managed to escape but,” Kanon shook his head, “everyone else wasn’t so lucky.”

Suzaku sucked in a quick breath, looking over at Lelouch. The prince had gone completely still, his gaze fixed on Kanon. Suzaku watched the prince’s fingers twitch like they wanted to hold onto something, but they couldn’t find anything. Suzaku had the ridiculous need to touch Lelouch to calm the prince, but it wasn’t his place.

“What happened?” The words were spoken so softly that Suzaku almost missed them, but it appeared that Kanon was expecting them.

“It was a planned attack during the changing of the guards. They rushed in and worked their way through the living quarters. By the time that anyone knew what was happening it was almost over. All of the royal heirs are dead.”

Lelouch shook his head. “You’re not telling me everything.”

Kanon huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Cornelia, Schneizel and Euphemia are alive. Or they were when they sent us away. But, if you want help, it might be best to call for Cornelia. Euphemia and Schneizel are in no condition to offer anyone help.”

Suzaku noticed the way that Nina flinched at every mention of Euphemia and felt his stomach twist. He could only imagine the kind of slaughter that would end with only three royals alive, and only one able to do anything. He swallowed and took a step closer to Lelouch. He couldn’t stop his gaze from roaming around the soldiers that had been at the fort before Lelouch’s guard had come in. They had been far away from the capital for years now, but that didn’t guarantee their loyalty. If the wrong word got spread around then they might have an uprising on the border.

Kanon hesitated for a moment, shifting in place before he slumped. All attempts at remain cool and collected disappeared. “They wore your sigil, Lelouch. All of them did.”

“How do you know?”

“Because all of them were captured in the end. The royal guards rounded them up and took them to the prison. The emperor announced the death of all royal heirs afterward, and everyone believed him. Cornelia wanted to go back in, but Schneizel wouldn’t let her.”

“Because they would have been killed.” Lelouch nodded, his fingers curled into a fist. “What did my father do?”

“He announced that you are no longer a prince of the empire, that you revoked that right. He’s issued an order to the captains on the border forts to capture you and kill you.”

Suzaku turned so his back was against Lelouch’s, drawing his sword even as Lelouch laughed. He ignored the sound, looking at the soldiers as they shifted. He saw a few of them going for their weapons, only to stop and look at the others around them. Their hesitance was a relief, because it meant that they were at least paying attention to the important parts of the conversation.

He jumped when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. Suzaku tipped his head slightly to see Lelouch looking back at him, but the prince didn’t gesture for him to put down the sword. Instead, he patted Suzaku’s shoulder like he was calming a skittish animal. Then, he turned back to look at the soldiers.

“Well, you all heard the news from the capital. Someone has killed the royal family and claimed that I did it. But how could I? I was in the hills all last night, with enough witnesses to convince any jury that I wasn’t riding back to the capital. The rest of you are witnesses to how I’ve been spending the last few days. My own guard can say that I’ve sent no messages since Cong, and half of them were handpicked by your emperor. The other half are all I have left of my guard since my father declared that I would no longer be given the means to search for my sister. Considering those facts, when could I have sent my personal guard back to kill them or why I would kill my own family when everyone knows what the outcome would be? If you come to the same conclusion that my father did, then you must believe that I’m a very stupid man.”

There was a scattering of laughs, Suzaku relaxing slightly at the sound. But he didn’t lower his sword, not while the men still looked nervous. He took a step back to get closer to Lelouch, except that the prince was already stepping away.

Lelouch turned to face the soldiers that were gathered around. “Kanon, what did the emperor do once the royal family was killed?”

“He…he left. The order to hang the assassins was delivered by an aide.”

“Oh, he left.” Lelouch huffed. “Is that the action of an emperor? The capital is in upheaval, the nation is in mourning any my father just leaves. What kind of emperor leaves his country in its time of need? What kind of emperor doesn’t attend the funeral of his children? Certainly this is a family matter, but also a matter of security. But my father hasn’t cared much for that lately. He hasn’t even bothered to change the regulations for the army since his father’s reign. It’s so much cheaper to throw Numbers into the line than provide land for retired soldiers.”

That got them all to stop, Suzaku looking over their shocked faces. He might not have been able to turn a political situation, but he understood the mind of a soldier. And all of them thought about what they would do as soon as they were done with their term of service on the war. Suzaku had listened to plenty of stories of returning to their home or buying some place for them to retire on both sides of the border. That was something that all of them held dear, possibly dearer than their pride in their country. To be told that there was nothing waiting for them was a sure way to win their anger.

He glanced over at Lelouch, catching the grin on the prince’s face. Suzaku recognized the look from when Lelouch had laid out a perfect trap and he was just waiting for someone to stumble into it. The soldiers were teetering on the edge, but they needed a bit more of a push.

Suzaku relaxed out of his defensive posture. He turned so he could point his sword at Kanon. “Is this true?”

It took Kanon a beat to realize what was going on, but the man was quick to nod. “The Emperor has prevented his council from discussing the subject and he’s even promised the Lords that they will continue to be granted lands in future Areas if they keep the issue quiet.”

The courtyard went dead silent at Kanon’s announcement. The soldiers all glanced at each other, Suzaku unable to resist the urge to glance at Lelouch. The prince gave him a short nod, not that Suzaku needed confirmation that Lelouch was telling the truth. This was Lelouch’s chance to strike at his father, and he wasn’t going to risk it on something so easily disproved.

Suzaku looked back at the soldiers as he heard the rattle of a sword against a scabbard. He tensed, watching as the captain of the garrison gave Lelouch an appraising look. The captain kept his hold on the sword for a moment more before he slid the sword back into the scabbard. “What are you orders, your highness?”

Suzaku was sure that he was the only one who caught the triumphant grin on Lelouch’s face, not that it would have mattered. He had his soldiers with the easy promise of a retirement, and they would march to the ends of the earth for that.

He allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch up in a smile, Lelouch nodding in acknowledgement. Then the prince’s attention was back on the soldiers.

Lelouch waved, making motion look like less of a dismissal than permission to move away. “Continue with what you were doing.”

The soldiers scattered back to their tasks, Suzaku amused by how energized that they were. All it had taken was a promise of a good retirement and they were Lelouch’s. He sheathed his sword and turned back to look at Kanon and Nina. 

Kanon seemed to have taken the abrupt change in loyalty in stride, but Nina looked shaken. She was holding onto her horse’s mane and trembling. Suzaku took a step towards her only to have her shy away from him. He was prevented from moving further when Lelouch held out an arm.

Lelouch shook his head, moving his arm back just enough to touch Suzaku’s arm. The touch was enough to stop him short, Suzaku rocking back on his heels. Lelouch kept his arm out even when Suzaku stopped moving, his fingers a gentle pressure on Suzaku’s arm even as he focused on Kanon.

“Where are the others?”

“Well away from Pendragon. Sir Guilford is with them now, probably heading to the border with Europa. No one would look for them there.”

“And they’ll be safe?”

Kanon shrugged. “Safer than if they were in Britannia. If you had any sense, you would leave too.”

Lelouch shook his head. “I’ll be safe enough. I have two forts and their garrisons.”

“That’s not enough.” Nina jerked away from her horse as she spoke. She reached for a sack tied to the side of her horse before she pulled her hand back. Nina shook her head and wiped at her eyes. “We were…they found us trying to get to you.”

Lelouch tensed. “Who? The emperor?”

“No.” Nina shook her head, her hands straying back to the odd bundle on the saddle. “He went down to the docks. I watched him leave…I don’t know where.” He fingers fumbled with the knot, Suzaku tempted to go and help her but Lelouch’s touch on his arm kept him still.

The knot came undone quickly, Nina carrying the bag slightly away from her body. “Lord Calares caught us. He said that the royal army under Sir Waldstein was marching down from Pendragon and that the Knight of One expected to meet you at Narita. Calares…he wanted…” Nina swallowed, obviously forcing herself to go on. “He said that he was going to take control of the border to protect us from Japan and to take care of you himself instead of waiting. When he caught us he assumed we were coming to find you. So he told us to give you this message.”

She picked at the top of the bag before tossing it away from her.

Suzaku lunged for it, his fingers skimming over the bottom of the bag. He felt something sticky leaking out through the cloth before the bag dropped away.

He pulled his hand back, staring at the dark, sticky places on his fingers before looking back down at the head that had rolled out of the bag. Suzaku felt his stomach drop when he recognized the face staring at him through dull purple eyes.

“Rolo.”

He wasn’t sure if he or Lelouch spoke the name first, but it hardly mattered when the message was so clear. Suzaku reached out to touch Lelouch’s arm, intending to drag the prince away from the sight of his dead half-brother, but Lelouch shrugged his touch off.

The prince knelt down, reaching out to touch the head only to jerk his hands back. Lelouch curled his hands into fists. “This was his message?”

Suzaku tore his head away from the head just in time to see Nina nod miserably. She wrapped her arms around herself, rocking in place. “He said it was a shame you didn’t get to see what you had done and that was a reminder of his oath to avenge the royal family.”

Lelouch stood up abruptly, giving Kanon and Nina a firm nod. “I understand. Kanon, make sure the five of you get over the border as quickly as you can. I can’t guarantee how long Britannia will be safe.”

Kanon nodded and swung back up onto his horse. Nina was quick to follow, the woman looking relieved that they were leaving. She pulled on the reins, already nudging her horse into a trot as she headed towards the gates. Kanon kept his horse back, the animal sidling as it tried to follow after Nina. Kanon gave the reins a quick jerk to keep the horse in place, his gaze still on Lelouch. “What do you plan to do?”

“I’m going to make sure Calares knows that his message was received. And then I’ll avenge my brothers and sisters.”

The answer pleased Kanon, because he nodded and then jerked the reins. The horse snorted and broke into a canter.

Suzaku watched at the two of them rode out of the gates, the guards quick to shut the gates after them. He nodded at the two on guard duty before he turned his attention back to Lelouch.

The prince was looking back at the severed head, his shoulders twitching every once and a while. Suzaku took a slow step closer to him, reaching out a hand to rest it on Lelouch’s shoulder. To his surprise, Lelouch allowed it, the pressure calming the slight shake. He kept his hand there for a moment before carefully lifting it away. “Lelouch?”

“Call someone. We need to bury him.”

“Of course.” Suzaku gestured back towards where he heard noise, not bothering to turn around and see who he had called over. It wouldn’t matter, because they would know what to do. He doubted that any soldier would miss the color of Rolo’s eyes, especially considering that they were a recognizable trait of the royal family. Considering the news that the soldiers had just gotten, they would be sure to treat Rolo’s remains with dignity.

He stepped aside to let the three soldiers through, watching as they blanched at the sight of the severed head. One man struggled out of his jacket, draping it over the head before bundling it up carefully. The soldier lifted it from the ground, pausing halfway through the motion to bow to Lelouch. Then he and his three companions rushed off to follow the order.

Lelouch watched them go with a wistful look on his face. The look was gone a moment later, Lelouch rolling his shoulders back. Whatever the prince had been thinking was lost and replaced by anger. Suzaku could recognize the latter at least, it had been the same thing that had driven him to kill his father.

It was on the tip of his tongue to caution Lelouch, but it wasn’t his place. Their situations were completely different. Suzaku had attacked his father out of desperation and a childish argument. Lelouch’s family had all be killed, he was right in his revenge. The problem was making sure that Lelouch got through it all alive.

He stepped up beside Lelouch, not daring to touch the prince when Lelouch was practically radiating anger. Suzaku cleared his throat, watching as Lelouch came out of whatever thoughts his anger had dragged him into. “What’s next?”

“We move onto Fort Babel. It’s the closest fort on the road from Pendragon and the only one that Calares can pull from. Shinkine is too close to Japan for Calares to dare move soldiers.” Lelouch took a deep breath, turning to look at Suzaku. “We need to be ready to ride out by tomorrow morning.”

Suzaku pressed his hand over his heart and bowed in the Britannian style. “Yes, your highness.”

When he looked up, he thought he saw a smile on Lelouch’s face. He saw the prince’s fingers twitch like Lelouch was going to reach out and touch him, but the prince held himself back. The finger twitch became a motion for him to leave, Suzaku backing away without a question.

He would leave Lelouch to come to terms with what had happened, but he wouldn’t leave the prince alone for too long. He knew better than anyone what happened when anyone was left alone with their rage for too long. He wouldn’t let Lelouch make the same mistakes that he had.


	19. Awaken

Suzaku tugged his grey around, glad that the horse responded so well. His gaze was already ahead on where the next knot of people needed breaking through. The horse barely needed the kick to charge ahead, Suzaku bent slightly forward as he glanced around.

Their troops were holding up well in the face of Lord Calares and his well-trained troops. They had managed to break through the first charge and Suzaku could see them pushing through to the captains. Lelouch had ordered that move, demanding that they end the battle as quickly as possible. They didn’t have the numbers to sustain a drawn out battle, and they didn’t have the time.

The royal family had been murdered and left in a palace festooned with Lelouch’s colors. The message was clear enough, Lelouch was making the political move that his father had been warning everyone about. It was making all the rumors about Lelouch’s parentage true. The emperor of Britannia might have been a cultured man, but he had been seduced by a witch from the mountains. Their children had been beautiful, but Nunnally was far away and their son was a twisted wreck of the man that he could have been. Suzaku was sure that there would be rumors about being twisted by Marianne’s mountain witch friend and his Japanese slave. After all, no self-proclaimed Britannian would own slaves, it was an old affectation. It was better to have the Numbers and the illusion of a greater goodwill towards their fellow man.

Suzaku snorted in disgust, leaning over in the saddle to slash down at one of the soldiers running past him. The sword went easily into the man’s neck, but not all the way through. Suzaku cursed and turned the grey in a circle so he could yank the sword free. The motion made him miss the curved blade of the katana. He wouldn’t have struggled to pull his blade out from the man’s neck then.

The forward motion of the horse helped him pull the blade out, Suzaku righting himself in the saddle as he looked around.

Another standard was falling, Suzaku nodding at the sight. Lord Calares hadn’t had the advantage of a cavalry, all of his troops coming from the border forts. Suzaku ignored the sudden rush of fear that came with that thought. The Japanese wouldn’t be coming for the forts for a while, not since they had repaid the raids on their villages. They wouldn’t have to worry about another army coming in to flank them.

He gripped the hilt of the sword more tightly, casting about for the next place he was needed. Their own scanty cavalry was continuing to carry the day, Gino leading them deeper into Calares’ forces. Their infantry was holding strong with Rivalz in command, but Suzaku couldn’t see the man. He stood up in his stirrups, casting around for Rivalz’s old fashioned helmet only to find Lelouch.

The prince was resplendent in his armor, the purple and gold enamel in the designs making him stand out on the battlefield. His black charger was pushing through the soldiers, the horse lashing out. Lelouch held his sword in his hand, but it was awkward. Suzaku cursed under his breath, turning the grey towards Lelouch. He knew he should have pushed Lelouch to practice more, if only to make sure that he could handle himself in battle.

His heart pounded faster when he recognized the dull grey tower of Calares’ sigil moving closer to Lelouch. Suzaku counted the men, coming up with a number far too low. Lelouch should have had an honor guard, but they didn’t have the numbers for that either. He dug his heels into the grey, grabbing onto the horse’s mane as it rocketed forward.

Suzaku balanced towards the front of the saddle. Its high pommel impeded how far he could lean forward, but he ignored the way it dug into his stomach, he was too focused on covering the distance between him and Lelouch.

He swung down with his sword as he hit the back of the group of men following Calares. Suzaku heard shouts from the small group of soldiers that Lelouch had left around himself, but he ignored them in favor of carving a path towards the prince. He thought he heard Gino’s voice rising above the melee, but it came at the same time as Calares started screaming for his soldiers to face the new attack.

The soldiers swung around awkwardly just as Suzaku sent his grey into the midst of them. He brought the pommel of his sword down on one of the men who was trying to pull him out of the saddle, watching as the man crumpled to the ground. Suzaku raised his sword into the air, using his free hand to grab onto the horse’s mane as the grey kicked out as the soldiers around him. “To the prince!”

The call was echoed through the field, Suzaku seeing the rest of the banner’s fall before a flash of gold caught his attention. Gino was wheeling the cavalry around, but there was no guarantee that he would be able to plow back through the opposing army and get to Lelouch in time.

Suzaku gritted his teeth and looked back at the immediate fight. His heart felt like it was in his throat when Lelouch’s war horse rose onto its hind legs, the prince flailing forward but keeping his seat.

Their troop was prepared, but their prince wasn’t. Lelouch might have trained to rescue his sister for seven years, but that hadn’t been for war. He had trained for sneaking into Japan and sneaking out. The sword he hadn’t wasn’t a war sword, it was too light and not for cutting for bludgeoning. From his place on the black horse he couldn’t fight as he was accustomed. Lelouch wasn’t even supposed to be on the field.

The horse came back down to all four hooves, tossing its head as it slewed from side to side. At least the war horse was doing his job in keeping the soldiers away, but it would only take one lucky soldier to haul the prince out of the saddle, and then everything would be over.

“Defend the prince!” The shout came from a group of soldiers headed by Rivalz, the group plowing into Calares’ men from two sides. The assault slowed, Suzaku taking advantage of it to push his grey forward. The infantry might have been slowed, but Calares was still free and still charging Lelouch.

Suzaku kicked the grey forward, holding onto the horse’s mane as the grey gathered itself and jumped over a downed horse. He wiggled his feet out of the stirrups, staring at where Calares was whipping his exhausted horse forward. He held himself in place long enough for the grey to pull up beside Calares’ horse. Calares glanced over at him, Suzaku seeing fear flash across the man’s face before he launched himself from his horse’s back.

He slammed into Calares, the two of them falling to the ground. Suzaku grunted as he hit, the air knocked out of him. He lay still for a moment, trying to suck in a breath as he looked for Calares.

The man was scrambling to his feet, the tip of his sword dragging on the ground. Calares looked wildly around, giving Suzaku enough time to haul himself to his feet.

The chainmail that he had been given rattled loudly as he got to his feet. Suzaku was relieved that he had managed to dodge much more of the armor that Gino had tried to push on him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to train in Britannian armor and he wasn’t used to the weight. He was sure that he wouldn’t have been able to jump at Calares with the full contingent of armor.

He fumbled for his helmet, ripping it off where it was pressing against his head. Suzaku reached up to push his bangs from his forehead, keeping a wary watch on Calares. The man was still stumbling upright, Suzaku watching the process as he slid into a fighting stance. Calares would expect the usual Britannian matter of fighting, which was more bashing each other with their swords than aiming for the weak points in the armor. Suzaku’s gaze drifted to the joints, searching out some of those points when Calares raised his hand.

Suzaku shifted, ready to dodge a strike, but it never came. Calares just reached up and pulled his helmet off, the man squinting at him for a moment. Then his helmet dropped out of his hand, the lord staring at him in shock. “Kururugi!”

He was tempted to look down at the surcoat that he was wearing, fully expecting to see the _kamon_  of his family, the phoenix in full flight. It was almost a relief to see the Lelouch’s red lightning bolt. Suzaku looked by up to meet Calares’ gaze, his stomach turning as he finally recognized the man.

Calares had been at Itsukushima seven years ago, he would have seen everything that had gone on. He would have recognized him.

Suzaku felt his mouth go dry as he stared at the man as his mind ground to a halt. If Calares knew, then Lelouch would find out and everything would be ruined. Nothing he would have done would have helped him, Lelouch would kill him on sight and carry on his rage into Japan.

He took a step back as Calares stumbled forward. He swung his sword up, Suzaku glancing up at the glittering blade.

For a moment, he considered stepping into it. It would end his suffering and Lelouch would never have to know, but he had made promises. Suzaku gritted his teeth and lunged forward, swinging his sword around to drive it into Calares’ throat. The man sputtered, Suzaku gritting his teeth as he drew the edge of the blade through the man’s neck. The sword caught on the man’s spine, Suzaku giving it up to step away.

He stared at Calares as the man gargled and fell forward, waiting for the man to stop twitching before he planted his foot on Calares’ shoulder. It took a few good tugs to get his sword free, Suzaku wincing at the gore on it. He wiped the blade on the grass, glancing around anxiously.

He froze when he saw Rivalz staring at him. Suzaku sheathed his sword, watching as Rivalz looked between Calares’ body and Suzaku. “Did he say-”

“It’s not what you think.”

“What am I supposed to think?” Rivalz took a step forward, the man holding his pike threateningly. “He called you Kururugi, like the old king of Japan or his son.”

Suzaku shook his head, any denial that he had thought up dying as Rivalz flicked the end of the pike out to press the blade against Suzaku’s throat. “You took Nunnally away.”

He didn’t dare nod, so he met Rivalz gaze as steadily as he could. “Yes.”

“Bastard! Do you know what Lelouch has been through because of that? Do you know what you’ve done?”

“I’ve saved his life.”

“No!” Rivalz panted for breath, his hands shaking. “You’ve killed him! This is the first time he’s…I should kill you where you stand.”

“You should, but not in the open. He won’t understand.”

Rivalz stared at him for a moment before dropping the pike. He ran his hands through his hair before shaking his head. “For months and I…damn it. You have until tomorrow, then you go back to your country. We don’t want you here.”

Suzaku stared at him before giving a curt nod. It was more than fair, even if he wanted to protest. Walking back into Japan would mean starting a rebellion, but they were forces that he could send back to Lelouch. He didn’t have to physically be beside Lelouch to have the prince’s plans go through and, maybe, it would be better for him. Lelouch might not spend his rage on Japan if Suzaku wasn’t there for the moment of discovery.

He risked a glance up at Rivalz, watching as the man heading back towards where the rest of his soldiers were milling around. Rivalz waved over at Gino, Suzaku feeling his stomach sink at that moment. He couldn’t fault Rivalz for wanting to alert the cavalry captain. That was two sets of eyes watching him until he had to leave. He gave Gino a cautious nod while he still had the man’s good will before he turned around to survey the battle.

The Britannian soldiers were starting to slow down now that all of the commanders and their banners had been torn down. The fall of Calares was probably enough to convince the rest of the soldiers that they didn’t want to fight, especially against one of their princes.

Suzaku looked up at where Lelouch was still sitting astride his horse, the prince looking around the battlefield in partial amazement. The look was quickly replaced by a smug look. “Well, that’s gone according to plan. Now we just have to take the fort.”

Lelouch looked down at him, Suzaku surprised by the brilliant grin that crossed the prince’s face. He leaned over in the saddle, Suzaku finding himself stepping forward. He could feel Rivalz and Gino’s gaze on his back, a hint of a warning, but it was impossible to ignore Lelouch.

The prince reached down, resting his hand on Suzaku’s hair. He leaned into the touch, Suzaku letting his eyes close for a moment. The touch only lasted a moment, then Lelouch lifted his hand away. Suzaku kept his eyes closed until he heard the horse moving away and then he only opened them reluctantly. That was probably the last nice touch that he would get from Lelouch, because they would be too busy otherwise. There was still Babel Fort to take, although Suzaku was sure that Lelouch already had a plan for that. The prince was probably three steps ahead of them all, except for on the secret of his identity.

Suzaku sighed and turned to look at the battlefield. At least Gino and Rivalz had stopped glaring at him, which meant that they were off gathering their commands back together. Suzaku glanced around for them before giving up. They wouldn’t be dealing with him unless they were under orders and Suzaku didn’t know if that was better or worse. It would be something that he found out later. The only thing left for him to do was to find his horse and get ready to ride for the border.


	20. Pretend

Suzaku leaned his shoulder against the fireplace, staring into the crackling flames. The weather wasn’t in danger of freezing them out, but it was always colder in the hills and the Britannian fort always seemed to be freezing. He curled his fingers around the decorative mantle, breathing out slowly.

Babel Fort had fallen easily to them, especially when Lelouch had rode up with all the broken banners of the border guards. Suzaku was sure that he hadn’t imagined the glee on Lelouch’s face to tumble the head of Lord Calares out on the stones of the courtyard in a gruesome parody of what had been done to Rolo. From the horrified look on Margrave Jeremiah’s face, it had worked.

He chuckled and shook his head. All of the men on the border had severely underestimated Lelouch and at their own peril. It was almost enough to make him feel better about leaving Lelouch behind on his own.

He felt the chuckle catch in his throat, Suzaku bracing himself on the mantle. He sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes. 

He didn’t want to leave, but he had no choice. Lelouch wanted him to go look for Nunnally in Japan. And, if he didn’t go, then Gino and Rivalz would make good on their threat. Suzaku didn’t think that Lelouch would react well. The whipping his had gotten back in Pendragon would have been nothing compared to the fury that Lelouch would rain down on him. And there would nothing that he could do about it, because he had lied to Lelouch for so long. It wouldn’t have taken much to tell Lelouch who he was, but he had kept it secret and kept himself safe.

Suzaku shivered despite his proximity to the fire. He had obviously misstepped somewhere, but it was too late to go back and fix it. It was like wishing that he could go back and stop himself from killing his father. Even if that magic existed, Suzaku was sure that he wouldn’t change a thing.

He muttered a curse under his breath and pushed away from the mantle. Suzaku turned on his heel and headed for the door to the room. Standing around wouldn’t get him anything, he would just be churning through the same thoughts over and over. There were still things to be done around the fort, things that Gino and Rivalz wouldn’t have the time for. While he was still allowed close to the Britannian border, he might as well do something to help Lelouch.

Suzaku froze at the sound of the door creaking open, his heart pounding fast when he saw Lelouch step into the room. The prince didn’t seem to notice that he was there, Lelouch leaning back against the door with a sigh.

Lelouch remained there for a moment, long enough for Suzaku to considering sneaking off. There was no way that he could get around Lelouch, so the only thing left to him was moving further back into the rooms. Lelouch would eventually find him, but Suzaku wanted to be more settled. At the moment he felt like he was going to blurt out everything, and he needed to stabilize himself before he made another regrettable choice.

He took a step back, wincing when the boards creaked under his boot. The sound made Lelouch jerk his head up, the prince staring at him in shock before pushing away from the door. “I thought you would be celebrating with the rest of them. We’re you always on my case about avoiding the soldiers? Something about wanting them to trust me.”

“It’s been a long day. And they’re not my men, they’re yours.”

“Some part of them might be.” Lelouch drummed his fingers against his arm. “If things work out the way I imagine, I might have more soldiers at my disposal than Gino and Rivalz can handle themselves. I trust you enough to handle them.”

Suzaku tried to laugh around the lump rising in his throat. He shook his head, staring at the wall until he was sure that his voice wouldn’t waver when he spoke. “And they’ll listen to a Number?”

“They should, considering you’re not a Number.” Lelouch took a step forward, Suzaku rocking back onto his heels. It would be smarter to retreat, but he couldn’t move away. He let Lelouch walk up close to him, sucking in a quick breath as the prince reached up to touch the gold collar around Suzaku’s neck. “And you won’t have to worry about this. Father said that I had to keep you close, there was no order to keep this.”

Lelouch tapped the collar before moving away. Suzaku sighed as the prince brushed past him. He closed his eyes, listening as Lelouch crossed over in front of the fireplace. He heard the soft sound of fabric moving, Suzaku not daring to open his eyes to see what clothes that Lelouch was stripping out of. He didn’t need the temptation, not when Lelouch had just offered him one.

Japan would never be his, Suzaku had made his peace with that. He would defend his country, but he was not the best suited for the job. He was good at fighting and little else, there had to be someone more suitable, someone who wouldn’t stumble with every political problem. Considering that Lelouch’s struggles with his father would go on for a long while, Japan would need someone smart enough to maneuver around Britannia, and that wasn’t him.

He reached up to absently rub the collar, feeling the various nicks and rough edges of the gold. The collar might have been made of iron, but the gold that had covered it had taken a beating. Suzaku traced a deep nick before dropping his hand.

“Does it hurt?”

Suzaku startled at the question, turning around to look back at Lelouch and regretting it. Lelouch was picking at the strings of his undershirt, his usual shirt and cotehardie thrown off to one side. It was the closest to naked that Suzaku had seen the prince. Suzaku swallowed and turned his gaze back to the fire, using the pause to try and get his thoughts back in order.

“W-what?”

“The collar.”

Suzaku frowned, his hand twitching as he fought the urge to reach for the collar again. He settled on watching Lelouch out of the corner of his eye. When the prince didn’t immediately turn away Suzaku assumed that Lelouch was being serious. He shrugged. “You’ve never cared before.”

“I’ve never asked before, there’s a difference. So, does it?”

“No. I don’t notice it much anymore.”

“But you keep touching it.” Lelouch stepped closer, Suzaku sucking in a quick breath. The prince moved close again, Suzaku feeling the collar shift as Lelouch touched it. Thankfully, the prince’s fingers didn’t move from the collar. “Where did they get this?”

“I don’t know.”

Lelouch huffed at the answer, tugging the collar slightly from Suzaku’s neck. He swayed a bit at the tug, but stayed in place as Lelouch circled around to stand in front of him. The prince’s finger remained tucked inside of the collar, probably exploring the catch that was at the front, but Suzaku was too busy trying to ignore the accidental touches to his neck. The skin under the collar was used to the chafing, but the light touch was suddenly all he could think about.

The prince hummed, apparently not noticing the way that Suzaku was trying to keep completely still in front of him. “A smith would have to strike this off, which is absurd. I can’t imagine how this would help.”

“For show?” Lelouch looked up abruptly as Suzaku spoke. Suzaku regretted asking a question immediately as Lelouch studied his face. He swallowed and tried to stare down Lelouch, sure that he was failing. “You put collars on the animals you own. Dogs…cats…”

“Jaguars.”

“What?”

Lelouch chuckled, letting go of the collar. The prince didn’t move his hand away from the collar, Suzaku sure that he could feel the warmth of them through the gold and iron. “Some of the ladies like having exotic animals in jeweled collars and thin chains. It just proves what my father says, that anyone with power and strength can tame the world, but I don’t believe that those animals are tamed. I think they’re biding their time.”

“Is that what I’m doing?”

“I don’t know.” Lelouch leaned closer, Suzaku feeling his heart beat faster. There was a glint of something in Lelouch’s eye, but Suzaku didn’t linger on it long, his gaze jumping from Lelouch’s eyes to his lips. From the way that the corner of the prince’s mouth twitched up, Lelouch noticed it too. Lelouch drummed his fingers against the collar, a grin crossing his face. “You’re certainly not tame.”

Suzaku wanted to laugh the idea off, because he _was_ tame. He had been helping Lelouch plan his two person assault on Japan to get Nunnally. He had helped Lelouch train up his soldiers to be able to fight both Britannian and Japanese forces. He had done nothing but what Lelouch commanded, even after the prince had him whipped. Suzaku couldn’t imagine anything tamer than just doing what the prince asked of him. Then again, he’d never really had a choice, there was nothing else left for him.

He went to take a step back, but he wasn’t surprised when Lelouch leaned after him. They had seemed to be doing nothing else since they had left Pendragon. If Suzaku had really wanted to know the answer, he would demand to know what had changed Lelouch’s mind, but he only had a matter of hours, which was never enough to explain the full workings of Lelouch’s mind. Suzaku swallowed and came to a stop, watching as Lelouch closed the distance between them.

Lelouch looked like he was going to touch the collar again, but the prince stopped himself. He kept his hand raised, his fingers curling in. “I wish…”

Suzaku tipped his head slightly, waiting to hear what Lelouch wanted to say, but the prince didn’t continue. Instead, Lelouch reached up to touch the back of his neck, above where the collar sat. Suzaku relaxed slightly at the touch, letting his eyes close. He sighed when Lelouch’s fingers worked their way up into his hair.

The smarter thing would be to back away, it’s what the two of them had done every other time. But that had been easier when they had had convincing arguments against each other. Suzaku still had plenty, but they meant nothing in the face of what would happen.

He would leave tomorrow, Lelouch had practically ordered him to leave and he still had the two captains to deal with. It would be the last time he would get to see Lelouch, even if he did manage to find Nunnally. Suzaku didn’t think that he would end up living that long, not when all of Japan would be after him to rise up in rebellion or kill him. Even if he managed a miracle, Lelouch would certainly never see him again.

Suzaku held his breath for a moment before letting it out slowly. Being selfish had gotten him into his current mess, he might as well continue, especially since there was no good end for him.

He leaned forward until his forehead pressed against Lelouch’s. Suzaku was ready to make some sort of excuse, but Lelouch was already using the hold on the back of his neck to haul him into a kiss.

Suzaku made a surprised noise, opening his eyes to stare at Lelouch’s face. The prince’s face was screwed up in concentration, the effort the man was putting into one chaste kiss amusing. Suzaku huffed and tipped his head slightly to the side, coaxing Lelouch into something more than just pressing their lips together. Lelouch made a soft encouraging noise, he free hand clawing at Suzaku to get him closer.

He went without an argument, backing Lelouch towards the small alcove that the bed was in. The prince went easily, Suzaku dropping his hands to Lelouch’s hips to help steer them better. It was hard to move the two of them when Lelouch refused to stop kissing him, but Suzaku couldn’t tear himself away from Lelouch. It had always been intoxicating to be in the focus of the prince, even more so when he was the sole focus.

He ran his fingers along the edge of Lelouch’s trousers, finding where the undershirt had started to rise up. Suzaku rucked it up, sliding his fingers under it to find warm skin.

Lelouch gasped into his mouth, Suzaku shivering as Lelouch pressed up against him. Lelouch seemed content to get as close as he could, but his hands were roaming constantly. Suzaku felt them pulling at the back of his shirt before Lelouch abruptly lost patience.

The prince pulled back with a growl as one of his hands dropped to fumble with the ties of Suzaku’s trousers. He hissed and tipped his head back as Lelouch’s fingers fumbled with the strings, the brief touches teasing. He was tempted to just shove Lelouch’s hand away, but it was hard when Lelouch was lifting his head to draw him into a kiss again.

Suzaku allowed himself to be pulled into another kiss, He was tempted to use the distraction to drag Lelouch over to a wall. It was far better than taking Lelouch to bed. A wall could be quick, dirty, desperate and in no way lasting. Suzaku would prefer that to anything else, anything than an acknowledgement of anything other than attraction growing between the two of them.

His attempts to tug Lelouch towards the wall failed when Lelouch dug in his heels. Suzaku broke the kiss to look at Lelouch, surprised when the prince grabbed his arm and started to pull him back towards the bed.

It wouldn’t have taken much to resist, not since he had been putting muscle back on from sword work and helping around the camp. All he had to do was resist. But Suzaku found himself trailing after Lelouch, his attention rapidly flickering from the press of Lelouch’s fingers against his wrist, the way that Lelouch’s shirt was riding up in the back and the flush on Lelouch’s cheeks.

He took a quick step forward, the motion startling Lelouch enough to turn and face Suzaku. He took advantage of the move. He wrapped his arms around Lelouch, tugging the prince close. Suzaku heard Lelouch’s breath catch on a word, too busy pulling Lelouch into another kiss to actually hear what Lelouch had tried to say. It didn’t matter when Lelouch was kissing back so desperately.

He felt Lelouch’s hands scramble at his shoulders before they found a place on the collar of his shirt. Lelouch grabbed handfuls of fabric, still trying to tug him forward despite the fact that there was no more space left between their bodies. Suzaku almost chuckled at the frustrated sound that Lelouch made, but he was too busy smoothing his hands down Lelouch’s back.

Lelouch made a sound like all the air had been punched out of him, the prince rocking up onto his tiptoes. Suzaku couldn’t tell if Lelouch was trying to get closer or further away from the touch, it was hard to tell when Lelouch was constantly shifting his hold and trying to haul him closer.

Suzaku gave in to a sharp tug on his shirt, taking a step forward. Lelouch obviously wasn’t ready because he fell backwards, Suzaku quick to fall beside Lelouch instead of on top of him.

He only had a moment to catch his breath before Lelouch was rolling on top of him. Suzaku bucked up, not sure if he was protesting or encouraging, it was hard to think when their cocks rubbed together. Even though a layer of clothes it was enough to make his eyes roll back in his head.

It had been a long while, especially since Suzaku didn’t make a habit of seeking out bed partners. There had always been something else to do and the disapproval of his father hanging over him. Genbu had been a serious man and he expected the same of his son. Besides, it had always been hard find someone interested in Suzaku rather than the shogun’s son.

Lelouch had no interest in Kururugi Suzaku either, but that hardly mattered. Lelouch was with him _now_ which was far better than anything before.

He reached up to cup Lelouch’s face in his hands, surprised when Lelouch grabbed his wrists and eased them back to the bed. Suzaku let Lelouch restrain him for a moment. He tipped his head to the side as Lelouch rubbed the callouses around his wrists where the manacles had once been. It looked like Lelouch wanted to say something about him, but the prince just shook his head and let go of Suzaku’s wrists.

Suzaku kept his wrists above his head even when Lelouch sat up, surprised by the sudden hesitation. Lelouch had been matching him step for step before, but now it was clear that Lelouch was uneasy. Suzaku swallowed and shifted so he could prop himself up on his elbows.

It was on the tip of his tongue to excuse himself and walk out before things could get more awkward. At least that would give them both the chance at a retreat without losing face. But he never got the words out.

Lelouch gently cupped his face, his fingers splayed out over Suzaku’s cheeks. “In another life, I would have knighted you.”

Suzaku’s heartbeat sped up at the simple, unguarded admission. A knighthood was an honor, something that he didn’t deserve. “Lelouch-”

“I would have, without hesitation.” The words were spoke softly and with conviction. Lelouch leaned forward until he could rest his forehead against Suzaku’s. “In another life, I wouldn’t have to send you away.”

Suzaku wanted desperately to lie and say that he would come back, but there was no guarantee. Besides, he wouldn’t be coming back. Z01, Lancelot, whatever he had been in Britannia would be dead as soon as he rode out of Babel Fort. Kururugi Suzaku would come back, and that would be the end of everything.

Lelouch would have never knighted the shogun’s son. Lelouch would have never let him get so close.

He must have made some kind of noise because Lelouch shushed him gently, the prince’s fingers smoothing over his cheeks. Suzaku expected some kind of comfort, but Lelouch just sighed out a breath that shook as much as his hands did. “Come back to me in one piece.”

There was a hint of command there, Suzaku opening his mouth to respond automatically. He snapped his mouth shut, settling for a nod.

That seemed to be enough for Lelouch, because the prince placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before leaning back and swinging his leg over Suzaku.

He whined at the loss of Lelouch’s weight on him, turning his head at the Lelouch’s chuckle. His mouth went dry as he saw Lelouch stepping out of his trousers and underwear in one economical movement. Lelouch’s blush deepened, but that was the only sign that he was nervous about what was happening.

Suzaku stared for a moment before reaching for his own pants, his fingers getting twisted up in the strings. He cursed under his breath, not sure what language he used as he managed to pick the knot out. He arched off the bed to shuck his pants and underwear, giving them an annoyed kick to the end of the bed.

He only got a brief moment to relish the lack of restrictions before Lelouch was clambering on top of him again. Suzaku saw a flash of firelight off something on the table before Lelouch’s hand was around his cock.

Suzaku gasped and bucked up into the hold, distantly registering the easy way Lelouch’s hand slid. He tipped his head back, trying to even out his breathing. There were bound to be guards outside the door and people walking through the hallways of the fort. They were still in the middle of getting the fort ready to push against any other attack, and he didn’t want any of them to know what he was doing with Lelouch, that was for him alone.

A whine escaped him as Lelouch’s other hand traced down his thigh, Suzaku shifting it slightly. Lelouch slowed his strokes at the move, staring down at Suzaku.

“Can I?”

The question took a while to process, Suzaku distracted by the open expression on Lelouch’s face and the fact that the prince’s hand was still stroking him slowly enough to be teasing. He swallowed hard when he realized what Lelouch was asking, carefully letting go of the sheets. He glanced back at the vial on the bedside table before giving Lelouch a slow nod.

He was surprised by how eagerly that Lelouch moved for the vial. He had thought that the cold and distant eleventh prince of Britannia would be slow to be coaxed into any sexual intimacy. Instead, he was almost eager. Suzaku was tempted to ask, but he didn’t want to tempt fate. Lelouch might get insulted and he would be left to take care of himself, which was not what he wanted to do the day before he left.

Lelouch was back over him in a moment, Suzaku quick to prop himself back up to catch a kiss. He thought he heard Lelouch laugh, but he was too busy shifting so he could slide a hand into Lelouch’s hair and keep him close. Lelouch huffed a laugh, Suzaku about to bite his lower lip in retribution when he felt Lelouch’s finger slip into him.

Suzaku hissed out a curse, quick to loop his leg around Lelouch’s to keep him from backing away. He reinforced the motion with a tap of his leg. He didn’t want Lelouch to back off, they only had the night and, now that sex was on the table, he was not going to waste time. “Come on…”

Lelouch huffed out a laugh before turning his attention back to the task at hand. Suzaku let his head drop back to the bed, concentrating on taking deep breaths.

It had been a while since he had done anything like this, probably not since he had last gone on a training exercise and that had only been because they had all been running on adrenaline. He hadn’t disliked it, but there hadn’t been any real connection behind it. They were just soldiers out in the field.

He rocked gently back onto Lelouch’s fingers, tipping his head slightly to see the look on the prince’s face. Lelouch was opening him up with the same concentration as he had afforded the maps they had studied, which sent a shiver down his spine.

Suzaku moaned and reached for Lelouch’s shoulder. He grabbed at it, digging his nails in to keep his hold. Suzaku lightened his hold when he heard Lelouch hiss, but he didn’t let go of Lelouch’s shoulder. “E-enough.”

The single word was enough to get Lelouch to stop. Lelouch glanced up at him in surprise but Suzaku shook his head, not willing to explain. It was too many words, too many things that would slow them down. Besides, he didn’t know how to tell Lelouch that he wanted to be able to feel it as he rode into Japan; the last bit of selfishness that he had taken for himself.

He tightened his hold on Lelouch’s shoulder when Lelouch still hesitated. “I’m not going to beg.”

There was a spark of interest there, but Lelouch quickly shook his head. “I wouldn’t want you to. But if you’re sure…”

Suzaku made an annoyed sound, relieved when that finally got Lelouch into motion.

Lelouch pulled away, fumbling with the vial. Suzaku swallowed and closed his eyes at the sound of Lelouch slicking himself up. He was tempted to look, but he didn’t dare, especially not when a bitten off moan came from Lelouch. Suzaku sighed and curled his fingers into the sheets, only opening his eyes when the bed shifted.

He stared up at Lelouch’s face, surprised when Lelouch took a moment to run his fingers over Suzaku’s cheek. It was almost a mirror to the motion that Lelouch had used after his assassination attempt, although this one wasn’t a flirtation. It was tender and almost fond. Suzaku held still for a moment before turning his face into the touch, brushing his lips across Lelouch’s palm.

Lelouch made a soft noise, Suzaku catching the last few syllables, but he was unable to place the word. He glanced up at Lelouch out of the corner of his eye. “We have all night.”

“Yes.” That seemed to reassure the prince, Lelouch gathering himself back together again. “We have all night.”

There was a strange tone of voice that accompanied the phrase, but Suzaku didn’t have the time to think on that.

Lelouch pushed into him, Suzaku feeling like the breath was punched out of him. Lelouch had been right, it hadn’t been enough, but Suzaku was beyond caring.

He reached up to pull Lelouch close, ignoring the surprised noise from Lelouch. He just wanted to close as much distance between the two of them as he could.

Lelouch held still above him, even when Suzaku dug a heel into Lelouch’s back. He thought he heard Lelouch huff, all thoughts of encouraging other sounds out of Lelouch stopping when Lelouch moves his hips tentatively. It was far too gentle for what Suzaku wanted, but it was a step in the right direction.

He groaned and rocked his hips up. Lelouch hesitance was slightly more annoying than endearing, especially when Lelouch had been the one pushing before. He dug his nails into Lelouch’s shoulders, breathing out slowly when Lelouch finally started to move.

Suzaku hissed out something that might have been a curse, but the noise was lost in the half chocked off sounds that Lelouch made. The soft sounds only lasted a moment, then Lelouch mastered himself. Suzaku regretted their loss, but it was hard to think when Lelouch was thrusting into him.

He pressed his mouth against Lelouch’s shoulder, not sure if he was placing a kiss there or just trying to keep quiet. It wouldn’t matter considering that almost all of Lelouch’s soldiers believed that the two of them were fucking. After all, that’s what the Romans had done to their slaves. But Suzaku didn’t want to give them that, this was their moment alone.

He tightened his hold on Lelouch, shifting slightly to direct Lelouch’s thrusts. He wasn’t about to keep his silence when Lelouch brushed across the set of nerves that set his entire body afire.

Suzaku moaned and clutched at Lelouch, nodding when he heard the prince mutter something at him. It took him a moment to get the breath to speak. _“’M good. Keep going.”_

Lelouch slowed down, Suzaku turning his head to look at Lelouch out of the corner of his eye. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, when Lelouch gave a resolute shake of his head.

The prince adjusted the two of them, Suzaku whining when Lelouch reached up to pry one of Suzaku’s hands free from his shoulder. He slid their fingers together, giving Suzaku’s fingers a squeeze. Then he lowered Suzaku’s hands back to the covers.

Suzaku took the chance to dig his fingers into the sheet again, holding on as Lelouch started rocking into him again. Suzaku clutched at the covers, biting his lip to keep from babbling. He wanted to be able to hear the soft sounds that Lelouch was making, to categorize them and hold them close for his own.

What he really wanted to hear above all was his own name, but that wouldn’t happen. It couldn’t happen.

He whimpered and untangled his fingers from the rucked up sheets. It took maneuvering to reach between them and curl his hand around his own cock. Suzaku let out a shuddering breath at his first stroke, rocking up into his hand before pushing back onto Lelouch. _“Please…please…”_

Lelouch seemed to respond to the encouragement. He grunted and increased his pace, Suzaku quickly losing his fight to keep quiet.

He gasped out half started words with every thrust, not sure that he was making any sense, but it always seemed to be enough. Lelouch matched him perfectly.

He whined, an attempt at a warning but he needed have bothered. Lelouch jerked above him, the steady rhythm breaking apart. Lelouch’s breath hissed out between his teeth, almost forming the first syllable of Suzaku’s name as he came.

The similarity was enough to send him over, Suzaku letting out a wordless cry as he came into his hand.

He dropped back onto the bed, letting his legs slide over Lelouch’s sides and back into the mattress. He kept his fingers twined with Lelouch’s, not willing to give up any contact with Lelouch, even with the prince practically laying on top of him. Suzaku tipped his head back, not expecting the light kiss that Lelouch laid on his lips.

Suzaku stared up at the prince, smiling in response to the fond look on Lelouch’s face. He turned his face into the hand Lelouch rested against his cheek. He leaned into the warmth of the touch, sighing when Lelouch moved away.

His breath hitched when Lelouch pulled out of him, Suzaku quick to reach up and grab the prince before he could walk away. He propped himself up on one elbow, waiting for Lelouch to turn and look back at him before he let go of Lelouch’s arm. “Stay.”

“What about the mess?”

“It can wait.”

Lelouch rolled his eyes, but slipped back into the bed. The prince forwent the sheets, preferring to curl up behind Suzaku.

Suzaku gave Lelouch a lazy smile, wiggling further up the bed so he could rest his head on the pillows. Lelouch followed him, the prince’s fingers coming to rest on the scars on his back. Suzaku heard Lelouch taking a deep breath, expecting Lelouch to say something but the prince stayed silent. His hand slipped up and over Suzaku’s stomach, resting there as Lelouch settled back on the bed.

He felt Lelouch’s breath on his shoulder, surprised by the kiss that followed. He turned his head to look back at Lelouch, getting a slow kiss for the motion.

Suzaku hummed into the kiss, reluctant to draw away. Tucked up against Lelouch he could almost imagine the fantasy that Lelouch had spun for him. He could believe that he was the prince’s knight, a trusted and elevated position that most Britannian nobles jostled for. Except that he could still feel the collar around his neck and he was aware of the scars on his back. A Number had never been a knight, so a slave had even less of a chance.

He reached down for Lelouch’s hand, slipping his fingers between Lelouch’s. It was hard to hold onto that dream, even for the sake of one last evening. Suzaku swallowed, fixing his gaze on the flickering light of the fireplace across the room.

What would happen was that he would go off to find Nunnally while Lelouch attempted to hold the border forts and respond to his father’s threats? There was no guarantee that either of them would get out of their situations alive. The thought sent a shiver down Suzaku’s spine and he was glad that Lelouch didn’t seem to be as astute as he usually was. Lelouch just scooted closer, pressing up against Suzaku’s back.

He leaned back into Lelouch’s warmth gratefully, but that didn’t dispel the cold lump of worry growing in his stomach. “Are you going to Narita?”

He felt Lelouch jerk at the question, the prince remaining still for a long moment before sighing. “It’s a chance to get back at my father.”

“They won’t be able to fight against Britannian forces.”

“We did fine the last time.”

Suzaku rolled over, easily pinning Lelouch to the bed. “Lelouch.”

Lelouch stared up at him before sighing and resting his hands beside his head in a position of surrender. “I can’t let this chance go. I’m closer to Narita so I can set the battle up to my advantage. If I don’t, then he can easily overwhelm me at the border.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to offer Lelouch refuge in Japan, but he doubted that it would be much safer. Tohdoh might still be loyal to him, but Suzaku wasn’t sure that he would be able to convince the man to support him. Tohdoh had fought the Britannians back at Itsukushima and then on the border for years. Even with his word, Lelouch and the others would probably be held and word passed along. The shogun would hear about the eleventh prince and Suzaku was sure that Sawazaki would act in the way that benefitted himself the most, which would be to hand Lelouch over.

He slumped, staring down at Lelouch. There was nothing he could do, not without revealing everything and not by staying.

Suzaku sighed, lowering himself down onto Lelouch. He bracketed his arms on either side of Lelouch’s head, studying the prince. The fond look was back on Lelouch’s face again, the prince moving his hands so he could run them up and down Suzaku’s arms.

He gave up trying to form any kind of argument to convince Lelouch to move otherwise. He rocked forward so he could rest his forehead against Lelouch’s. “Be careful.”

“I should be saying that to you.” Lelouch laughed, the sound trailing off slowly. He tapped his fingers against Suzaku’s forearms. “How about we both promise to be careful? Can you manage that?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

He attempted a smile, but he was sure that Lelouch saw through it. He still watched Lelouch’s face, leaning forward to kiss the prince before he could see Lelouch work through how empty the promise was.

For it moment, it felt like Lelouch would resist the kiss and then he relaxed into it, holding onto Suzaku’s arms. Suzaku was more than willing to sink into the kiss and lose himself. He wanted the memory to last through the long days trudging through Japan to find Nunnally and to hold him over when Lelouch realized the truth and chased him away.


	21. Breeze

Suzaku sighed and stared down at the saddlebags. They looked dangerously empty, especially if he was going to be riding down into Japan. Then again, if Lelouch had planned this rescue mission like he had planned everything else then there would be plenty of places for him and C.C. to stop and replenish their supplies. Two people moving through Japan wouldn’t be as suspicious as whatever force that Lelouch could spare from border duty, and they would move as slowly. Certainly it wouldn’t take them as long to get down to Lord Sawazaki’s mansion outside of Edo to pick up the trail. Unless C.C. had more information, Suzaku didn’t know what else to do.

Nunnally had been missing for months now, and he hadn’t heard anything about her. He hadn’t even dared to talk about her unless Lelouch brought her up first. He’d learned his lesson the first time. It didn’t matter if he and Lelouch had managed some kind of truce, the scars on his back were lesson enough for him. Lelouch’s rage about his sister bubbled close to the surface, and Suzaku was not about to put himself in the way of that again.

He rolled his shoulders, relieved that the muscles didn’t ache and catch. Cecile had done a good job keeping him fit, especially since she had started when Lelouch had been against helping him in any way. Out of all the people that he was leaving behind, she would be one of the few that he would miss the most.

Suzaku flinched at the thought, glancing up at the nearest window. It didn’t open out into the front of the castle, and the small opening didn’t give him much more than a sliver of the wall and the storehouses at the back of the fort. He almost wished that the room gave him a view of the courtyard, just so he could see what was going on.

Lelouch had ridden out with Gino and a few more handpicked men to look over the proposed battlefield. Suzaku still thought that rising to Bismarck’s demands for a battle was stupid, but Lelouch was sure that he could turn things to his advantage. Suzaku wasn’t too sure himself.

The constant regime of conquest had trained up a strong army and generals. Japan, Europa and the Chinese Federation were right to fear what Britannia could do, and the whole country was roused in anger. There had been enough royal heirs for everyone to have a favorite and, save for the three who had managed a lucky escape from Pendragon, they were all dead and the evidence pointed at Lelouch. Of course, if anyone really looked they would realize that it was too obvious for one of Lelouch’s schemes, not that it mattered. The populace was outraged and Charles would capitalize on it for whatever he was doing. Lelouch might be able to guess what his father was doing, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t underestimate the emperor.

Suzaku held himself steady, staring out the window and towards the land he could see in the distance. Whatever was happening at Narita wouldn’t be his worry. It couldn’t be. Lelouch had asked him to look for Nunnally and the prince’s captains had issued their own ultimatum.

He had to be out of Babel Fort by midday or else they would alert Lelouch to the truth of who his slave had been. It didn’t matter that Lelouch had ridden out, Gino would probably wait a day before telling the prince. But Rivalz was still the real threat.

The prince might not have been in residence, but Rivalz would certainly spread the word among the soldiers. He was a well-loved captain and proven in battle. The soldiers were all Britannian, from close to the capital or hardened by border duty. The troops had spent the past few days helping the people from the latest raid over the border. None of them cared that the raid on Britannian villages hadn’t been made by the Japanese, but paid hill tribes, they just knew that people had been slaughtered. They would turn on him without a second thought.

Suzaku swallowed. It was tempting to resign himself to that, but he had already figured out what he needed to do. He had to die for what he had done, but he was going to make it mean something. It was the least he could do for causing the two countries so much trouble. Finding Nunnally was the way to make up for that. He would retrieve the princess and present her to her brother. Suzaku was sure that execution would follow swiftly on the heels of return. And then it would be done.

Kururugi Suzaku would finally be dead.

He reached up to rub at his neck, surprised when his fingers touched skin instead of metal. He explored the callous where the collar had sat, wondering at the feeling of his own skin under the tips of his fingers.

Lelouch had woken him up early, probably just as soon as the blacksmith’s forge had been fired up considering the half asleep look on the man’s face. The prince had demanded that the smith remove the collar from Suzaku neck. The man hadn’t seemed too surprised by the order, but he had seemed a little sloppy for Suzaku’s taste. But the smith had done his work competently and the collar had dropped off without a problem. Lelouch had scooped it up before Suzaku could say anything, and then he had shooed Suzaku back into the castle.

He had gone because he had wanted to get a few more hours of sleep and because Lelouch had promised to follow him. Suzaku hadn’t even bothered to ask what Lelouch had done while he had lingered at the forge. He had been too distracted when Lelouch had slipped back into bed with him because the prince had stripped somewhere between the door and the bed. Lelouch’s distractions were probably the reason that he was edging close to his deadline.

Suzaku looked back at the saddlebags, poking through them to check that he had packed everything before securing them. It was easy to swing them over his shoulder, Suzaku pausing for a moment to savor the press of leather where the collar should have been. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before snatching up the sword from his bed. He held it loosely in his hand as he started out of the room and through the fort.

The hallways were empty, something that Suzaku expected. Gino had probably left orders for the fort to continue to prepare for an attack and to spread the orders to the other two forts close by. Aries Fort would be loyal to Lelouch no matter what, Lady Marianne’s family had held the land around it for generations. It was the other three in a careful line across the border that would cause a problem. Kawaguchi and Babel had been taken by Lelouch, but they would have to hold for his plan to work. And there was still Shinkine, the fort perched almost perfectly halfway between Japan and Britannia. Lelouch hadn’t dared to try for that yet, but to hold Shinkine would mean that the border would be secure.

There was a fifth fort, but Suzaku doubted that Lelouch would venture so close to Itsukushima. The Britannian fort that had been built there after the battle was hasty and slapdash, so it wouldn’t help. Besides, Tohdoh would probably count any real fortification as a threat and ride to meet it.

It was a very achievable aim, if Lelouch managed to survive Narita. The ‘if’ was the thing that haunted him the most, because there was every chance that Charles would take the chance to finally kill the son that had been bothering him for so long. Without Lelouch, the whole rebellion against Britannia and her slow conquest would die. And Japan would be next.

Suzaku paused to lean against the cold stones of the fort, using the chill to center himself. His father wouldn’t have hesitated to strike against Britannia, but he couldn’t be so sure about Lord Sawazaki. The shogun had been wedded to two Britannian princesses now and there was no telling what other favors he had gotten from Britannia.

If Lelouch failed then it would be up to him, but the thought of riding back into Japan specifically to call the nation to arms sickened him. It was his fault that Japan was in danger in the first place. At some point, he would have to tell his own generals why they had to fight a second war against Britannia, and they would hate him for it.

He pushed away from the wall, quickening his pace. He didn’t have the time to get caught up in his thoughts. He could linger over all the terrible things that could happen once he and C.C. were out on the road. Until then, he had to keep his head high and walk out of Babel Fort like nothing was going on.

Suzaku strode through the great hall and out into the steps of the fort. He scanned the courtyard, sighing when he saw two horses being held by the stone watering trough. He recognized the familiar grey that he had been riding since he had left Pendragon. The strawberry roan wasn’t familiar to him, but it wasn’t too hard to figure out who it was for. The second horse already had the saddlebags in place, which meant that C.C. was probably waiting for him somewhere out in the courtyard, and probably impatient because of the time that they were wasting.

He sighed and looked around the open space, fully expecting to see the woman lounging back a wall or watching the soldiers as a few of them cleaned the stables.

C.C. was nowhere in sight, but he found Rivalz almost immediately. The captain was coming around the side of the fort, a wooden box that held a clay tablet in his arms. The captain had probably just come back from running inventory on the storehouses. If Suzaku wasn’t leaving, it would have been his job to meet with Rivalz and talk over what they needed to replace and how quickly they could get the supplies.

He quickly looked away, but it wasn’t fast enough. Suzaku saw Rivalz tense out of the corner of his eye, the man speeding up slightly. He kept still, waiting until Rivalz stood beside him to look over at the other man.

Rivalz still looked angry, but it was layered under exhaustion. The man glanced up at the sky and shook his head. “You’re cutting it close.”

“I know.” Suzaku shifted the saddlebags on his shoulder. “I had to pack.”

Rivalz nodded and gestured with his free hand to where the two horses were. “Just…get out of here. Lelouch will be back, and he’ll know by then.”

Suzaku nodded and went to walk down the stairs when he stopped himself. It should have been easy to walk out of Babel Fort and away from Lelouch, but it wasn’t. Not even with the lengthy goodbye that morning.

He turned to look back at Rivalz, slightly surprised to see C.C. walking up behind him. He ignored the woman for a moment, clearing his throat as he tried to come up with something. “Could you…Just tell Lelouch that I’m sorry. And that I meant…all of it. Who I am…it was the only lie I told him.”

Rivalz stared at him for a moment, Suzaku seeing the exact moment Rivalz understood the meaning behind the message. The man cursed and went to draw his sword. “What did you-”

He was prevented from drawing the sword by C.C’s hand on his arm. The woman gave Rivalz a steady look. “Don’t stab him. We’ll need him.”

“Why?”

C.C. tipped her head towards the gates, both Suzaku and Rivalz looking over just before one of the guards at the top shouted. A few more guards rushed over, the three conferring before one turned to shout back at them. “Captain, there’s an army coming!”

Rivalz cursed and hurried down the steps. “Flags?”

“Not Britannian.” The guard paused for a moment, the three of them looking back over the edge. “Five swords, Japanese ones.”

“Tohdoh.” Suzaku didn’t realize that he had spoken out loud until Rivalz turned to look at him. Suzaku quickly shook his head.

He had no idea why Tohdoh would decide to ride into Britannia, especially after the latest round of raids on Japanese and Britannian villages. There had been no reason for the general himself to look into what had been going on, or even to raise an army to come to a Britannian fort.

Except that he couldn’t help by think of a Japanese woman waiting in the inn, and how strange it had been to see her so far into Britannia.

“They’re carrying white flags!”

Suzaku looked up at the soldiers, his stomach sinking. Tohdoh wanted to talk, but Lelouch was conspicuously absent. He looked over at Rivalz, the captain looking just as confused by the turn of events. He turned to look at C.C, hoping the woman would have some kind of idea what they were supposed to do.

C.C. just reached up to take the saddlebags from his shoulder, giving him a slow nod. “You won’t need these for riding after Nunnally.”

“No, I won’t.” He stepped forward, walking down to the steps to wait beside Rivalz as the gates opened up.

It took more effort than he thought it would just to remain still, Suzaku watching as Tohdoh and his four favored soldiers pulled to a stop in front of them.

A wave from Rivalz had Britannian soldiers stepping forward to take their horses, but Tohdoh shook his head. The general dismounted and passed the reins to Urabe. Tohdoh took a careful step forward, Suzaku feeling a shiver run down his spine as his old teacher fixed him with a long look.

Suzaku was surprised to see relief and joy flash across Tohdoh’s face, and then the man was on his knees, giving a formal bow to Suzaku. “Lord Kururugi.”

Movement in the courtyard stopped. Suzaku was sure that no one outside their small circle had heard what Tohdoh had said, but the bow was unmistakable.

Suzaku looked away from Tohdoh, watching as the other four bowed as deeply as they could in their saddles, remaining slightly bent over. His heart beat faster at the realization that they were waiting on _him_. There was a chance to apologize and scurry away, leaving them to whatever they had come to Babel Fort to do. He could just let Kururugi Suzaku be as dead as Kirihara and the others wanted him to be.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before straightening his back. As much as he wanted to run, he couldn’t, not when there was a Japanese army on the steps of Babel Fort. Unless the situation was taken care of, they would have another battle on their hands and Lelouch wouldn’t have an army to take to Narita.

Suzaku opened his eyes, staring at the five in front of him. But Lelouch would have an army to face his father’s. He would have the garrisons from the forts and the force that Tohdoh had led into Japan, because Lelouch had banked on his father doing something to try and get rid of him. If Luciano hadn’t been able to do it and the men in Cong, then Charles would have to be more direct. This was how Lelouch would respond in kind, with the army that he had called up with his messenger, the one that had been waiting for them in Cong.

He clenched his hands into fists, looking back over at C.C. He doubted that Lelouch had ever intended to send the two of them after Nunnally, Lelouch just needed an excuse to get Suzaku to remain behind at the fort to be ready to receive whatever army came along. The prince had probably just thought that Tohdoh would trust someone from his own country, but Lelouch had managed to miscalculate. Tohdoh would follow his shogun, the one no one had expected to find alive in Britannia.

Suzaku sighed as he took a step forward, motioning with his hand. “Rise, general.”

Tohdoh got up slowly, Suzaku noticing how much older his teacher looked. He studied Tohdoh for a moment before looking at the four that had followed him. None of them had changed too much, but none of them had been close to Genbu, all of them had come to Tohdoh in the years between. They were his trusted companions, the reason that Tohdoh had chosen five swords as his _kamon_ when Genbu had bestowed a title and lands on him.

He turned his gaze back to Tohdoh, catching the brief smile that crossed the general’s face. Tohdoh cleared his throat, the general glancing around him quickly. “I never expected to find you here.”

“Where did you?”

“The Kururugi Shrine. I escorted your father’s bones there to lie with your mother. Lord Sumeragi was buried there as well, as was stipulated in his will, but there were three urns when the bones were handed to us. No one said anything, but everyone was allowed to assume.” Tohdoh cleared his throat, Suzaku noticing the way that the man swayed forward before he stopped himself. “It was never stated that you were dead.”

“But they never said I was alive.”

“Never.”

Suzaku nodded, not surprised by the strange silence. It was easier not to talk about what had happened to him and let everyone accept whatever story they wanted. After all, everyone would have expected him to have died alongside his father. It was the only way that Lord Sawazaki would have taken the position of shogun. Anything else would have been too suspicious, especially since his father had been clear on who would succeed him. Kirihara and the others must have thought that Lelouch would have killed him and done their work for them. They had almost gotten their wish.

“Lord Kururugi?”

He jumped at the sound of his name, looking back at Tohdoh before shaking his head. “You came under the flag of truce.”

The general nodded. “I received a message that Prince Lelouch would be willing to talk to me about the situation on the border. After the attacks I almost ignored it, but the fact that the retribution didn’t continue convinced me otherwise. But where is the prince.”

“Taking care of another concern. I’m sure he’d be willing to talk.” Suzaku paused for a moment, staring at the gate. “How many did you bring with you?”

Tohdoh looked surprised by the question. “One thousand horse and two thousand foot. Why?”

Suzaku ran the numbers in his head, raising an eyebrow at the conclusion he came to. “Your entire muster.”

“I thought it prudent as a show of force or in case the prince proved to be luring us into a trap.”

Suzaku nodded, glancing over at Rivalz. The man still had a look on shock on his face, which might work to his favor. As long as Rivalz was trying to keep up, the captain wouldn’t argue and they would have a chance to save Lelouch.

He turned back to Tohdoh. “How well do you know Narita?”

Tohdoh frowned, considering the question before shaking his head. “I’ve never seen it.”

“Then we’ll need to leave now.” Suzaku pivoted, turning to face Rivalz. “Leave just enough soldiers to hold the fort, bring the rest with us. Spread the word to Kawaguchi, we’ll need their men too. Have them meet us on the road to Narita and make sure to fly the prince’s flag. We’ll travel apart for safety.”

Suzaku didn’t want the two armies coming to blows before they met with Charles’ forces at Narita. He doubted that any of the Britannians would want to risk losing their prince, but working with the Japanese might be a breaking point.

Rivalz kept staring at him, Suzaku hearing Tohdoh shift behind him. He was sure that the general was going to snap, but C.C. beat him to it.

“I seem to remember Lelouch leaving him in charge when he left. And that sounded like a direct order.”

Rivalz jumped, looking like he was about to salute C.C, but he stopped himself at the last minute. He shot a glare at Suzaku instead, holding his gaze for a moment before turning and shouting the orders at the top of his lungs.

Suzaku breathed a sigh of relief, looking over at C.C. He gave her a thankful nod. “Will you stay here?”

“I think I can manage the ones who stay behind.” She hefted the saddlebags slightly. “You’ll be needed these, and a set of armor.”

Tohdoh coughed slightly. “I’m sure we can provide the shogun with armor.”

C.C. raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. She bustled over to where the grey stood, a calm point in the flurry of movement that had taken over the courtyard again.

Suzaku looked back over at Tohdoh, watching as his old teacher gave the rush a quick look before turning away. Tohdoh retrieved the reins of his horse, swinging up onto the horse. The five of them seemed content to wait until he was ready to go. Suzaku swallowed and glanced over at where C.C. was leading his horse over.

He had hoped that he would have the time to talk to Rivalz again, to try and explain what he was doing. He wouldn’t be able to convince Rivalz to keep his secret longer, but he might be able to get Rivalz to trust him just long enough to take care of whatever Charles was going to throw at them. But it didn’t look like Tohdoh was willing to let him out of his sight and Suzaku wasn’t ready to explain what his situation had been, not when he needed Tohdoh to listen to him. It was better to keep up appearances for the moment.

Suzaku took the reins of the grey, mounting up easily. He glanced down at C.C, the knot in his stomach uncurling a little bit when she gave him a lazy wave away. She could keep the forts under control, which left him the luxury of focusing his full attention on the upcoming battle.

He turned the grey after Tohdoh and the others, letting the horse have its head as they cantered out of the gates. He expected the sight of the army waiting for their general and the cheer that went up for him. What he didn’t expected was the louder cheer that came when they noticed that he rode with Tohdoh. Banners were rattled and Suzaku could hear his name shouted to the sky.

He resisted the urge to look back at the fort, just to check that they didn’t think that the army was going to attack. C.C. had things under control, which meant that she wouldn’t allow the Britannians to rush out and try to attack them. That didn’t stop his stomach from twisting nervously as he approached the army. Nor did it stop the feeling that he had stepped into something over his head when he saw one of the soldiers haul a familiar banner into place, Suzaku watching as the phoenix banner snapped and undulated in the wind.


	22. Tohubohu

Lelouch shifted in the chair, biting his lip to keep himself from whimpering as the move shifted the knife in his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut against the pain, trying to get his mind to focus instead of jumping between the pain in his shoulder from the knife or the other smaller aches that were spread out over his body. The change of focus didn’t help, because all he could think about was the time that had passed.

They weren’t going to make it to Narita.

His stomach dropped at the thought, but Lelouch forced himself to focus. They weren’t going to make it to Narita, so he had to plan around it.

He had probably been detained for that reason alone, to make sure that his rebellion didn’t continue. Lelouch wasn’t sure if it had been an order from his father, but he doubted that Bartley Asprius would have dared to act on his own. If it hadn’t been Charles, then he was sure that Luciano had asked the general for the favor. Lelouch couldn’t imagine Bismarck Waldstein purposefully stacking the field in his favor by capturing his opposition. Considering that Luciano had been so happy to see him again, Lelouch was sure that he was right in his assumptions.

Lelouch opened his eyes, staring at the door. He expected Luciano to come back to the room to taunt them again. The man had seemed more than happy to tease Lelouch about his failure to account for the knight’s revenge. Of course, getting him back by driving the knife into his shoulder had seemed to please Luciano more than any taunts. Lelouch supposed that it worked both ways, because it had tormented Gino as well.

He turned his head to look back at where Gino was chained to the wall. The knight was filthy with blood and dirt from the skirmish against Bartley’s forces. Lelouch wasn’t sure how much of the blood was Gino’s and how much was from Bartley’s men, but he doubted it mattered. Gino was the only one of his small patrol that was still alive. It was an ignoble defeat, one that Lelouch wished hadn’t happened, but wishing wouldn’t get him anywhere. He had to deal with the situation at hand, which meant getting his wrists free.

Luciano might have had fun tormenting him with all of his failures, but the knight had left him a knife. Lelouch didn’t know if he should feel thankful or laugh at Luciano’s stupidity. For a Knight of the Round, the knight was very easy to distract and trick. Considering the fact that Luciano had spent most of his time gloating about getting Lelouch back for his humiliation, the knight had left him the perfect way to strike at him again.

Lelouch let out his breath slowly, trying to twist his hands behind him so he could test his bonds. They weren’t too tight, but they were done well enough that he couldn’t just slip his hands free. He would have to get creative, the thought making him shiver.

The movement made his shoulder throb, Lelouch unable to smother the curse that escaped him. He shot the knife a glance before looking over at Gino, sighing when he saw the knight looking at him.

Gino scooted forward, the chains rattling behind him. “How bad is it?”

“Bearable.” It was a lie, but Lelouch doubted that telling the truth would help them any. No apologies would get them loose, nor would it get them out to Narita to meet with Bismarck. He would just have to rely on the plans he had put into motion. That was a lot of trust to put into one person, but Lelouch doubted that anyone else would manage it.

He rubbed his fingers together the best he could, testing out their joints. “How are you doing?”

“Could be worse. Luciano focused more on you.”

“I noticed.” Lelouch took a deep breath as he felt along the joint of his thumb. He had read about prisoners escaping from ropes this way, but he had never done it himself. It was enough to make him wish that he had practice. Then again, he had never thought that he’d have to use the skill.

He took a deep breath, preparing to dislocate the joint when Gino groaned. Lelouch looked over at the knight, checking him over for injuries that he had missed. Lelouch knew that he was going to escape from Bartley’s castle, he couldn’t allow himself to be held, but he wouldn’t be able to do it without Gino. He had beat Luciano once, but he didn’t think that the knight would fall for the same tricks again. Lelouch doubted that he would even be able to use a sword considering that he had one injured shoulder and a dislocated thumb if he did everything right.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Gino was fine, turning his attention back to his business even as Gino started to talk again.

“Bismarck is going to win at Narita.”

“Not necessarily.”

Gino chuckled and shook his head. “Rivalz and Jeremiah might be good at leading their groups of men, but they won’t be able to stand up to Bismarck. We barely managed to hold out against Calares with our numbers.”

“I’m not expecting them to. I have another general and army in mind.”

Gino frowned, his gaze focusing on Lelouch. “Who?”

“I reached out to General Tohdoh.” The way that Gino sucked in his breath told Lelouch everything that he needed to know. He shot a glance at the knight before looking back down at the floor. He traced his fingers over his thumb, testing the joints for the proper place before continuing to talk. “I hadn’t planned for things to turn out this way. I meant to be there.”

“That means nothing now. You’ve invited him over the border.”

“I suppose so.” Lelouch bit his lip to keep from yelping as he dislocated his thumb. He rocked forward in the chair, twisting awkwardly to keep from digging his injured thumb into the chair and to keep the weight off of his left shoulder. It would have been smarter to dislocate his left thumb even with the disadvantage in mobility that his injured shoulder would bring. At least then he would have had one working hand, but it was turn late to turn back.

He took deep breaths, trying to ease the pain away before he attempted any move. Lelouch lifted his head to look around the room, catching Gino’s shocked face before he turned his attention to the door.

So far no one had come back for them, which was fortunate. He could stand a few more minutes to try to escape before anyone came in.

Lelouch carefully eased himself back upright, shutting his eyes as he tried to wiggle his hand out of the bindings. The rope scratched at his hand, Lelouch feeling pain where skin rubbed away, but he could at least wiggle free now. He tried to ignore the way his hand throbbed, choosing to speak to Gino as a distraction.

“To be fair, when I asked for General Tohdoh’s help I thought I would be facing Father and not Bismarck. And I thought it would be on my terms. Father’s actions moved up my plan a little.”

“I doubt that matters much anymore. You’ve given the Japanese the run of the border.”

“You say that like I invited all of them in.” Lelouch paused to ease his thumb free of the rope. At least the sweat on his hand was helping the rope a bit, although he was sure that it wasn’t just sweat. He shook his head, trying to dispel that thought from his head. There would be time to take stock later, he had to concentrate on getting out and on the conversation with Gino to keep himself from screaming. “It’s only the full muster of Aomori.”

“And that’s any better?” Gino cursed and shifted, the move making his manacles rattle. “I understand why you did it, but this is the worst possible time considering the rumors. Everyone above the border thinks you killed your family, and then you have a Japanese army running around with an invitation from the eleventh prince. People are going to get suspicious.”

“You say that like they will be wandering without a purpose.” Lelouch pulled his hand free, letting it dangle behind him. “I sent them to Babel.”

“Why? Jeremiah will refuse to work with them and they won’t respect Rivalz’s authority. He’s good with the foot soldiers, but he’s not Japanese.”

“I didn’t plan on either of them leading.”

“Yeah, I guess not. It was supposed to be you.”

Lelouch carefully kept quiet, because denying Gino’s statement would probably lead to another discussion that he didn’t want to have, at least not while he was locked up in the dungeon of a castle. An especially quiet dungeon.

He looked up at the door, fully expecting to hear the sound of guards shifting. Lelouch could have easily missed the sound of people outside the door while Luciano had been taunting them. He’d been doing a lot of screaming. But it was silent, which was equally worrying and another puzzle to figure out. Lelouch didn’t think he had the patience for more puzzles.

He sighed and started feeling his thumb again, trying to find the point where he could snap it back into place. The whole thing was starting to feel swollen, which meant that he might have left things for too long, but it didn’t matter. The two of them would get out and find Cecile, she would be able to patch the two of them up. By then, they would get whatever news they could from Narita.

Lelouch took a few deep breaths, trying to get himself into the right mindset for snapping his thumb back into place. It was enough to make him wish that Luciano had walked around him after he had been taunted by the keys that would free Gino. He would have gotten punched for touching the knight, but he would have at least gotten a chance to get out without injuring himself. But he hadn’t gotten much of a choice.

He popped the joint back in place, not quite managing to silence the whimper of pain that escaped him. Lelouch froze, glancing over at Gino just in time to meet the knight’s gaze. He shook his head, not wanting to answer that Gino was clearly about to ask. It would be better if the knight didn’t know everything that he was doing, because then Gino would focus too much on protecting him and not enough on getting out.

Lelouch kept his arms behind his back, shifting in the chair until he was sure that he looked like he was still tied up. He sighed when his thumb went back from searing pain to throbbing pain. He could bear that, even with the pain from his left shoulder. Lelouch turned his head to look at the knife still sticking out of his shoulder. At least he still had his weapon.

He shook his head, trying to drag his attention back to the conversation that they’d been having. It took him a moment to be able to speak again, Lelouch forcing back the small noises of pain. “Even if I’m not there, I’m sure that General Tohdoh will find someone to listen to. Rivalz technically has authority to act in my name, as does Lancelot.”

Gino winced, Lelouch watching the knight carefully. Out of all the people he had brought with him down to the border, Gino was one of the few who had never looked askance at Lancelot. Gino had known from the start why Charles had presented him a slave, it was just another act of humiliation and a chance for Lelouch to overstep. He had once, and that had been enough for him to learn his lesson. Gino had been one of the people to remind him of that. So Lelouch doubted that mentioning Lancelot would have been enough to disturb him.

Lelouch rubbed loose bits of rope between his fingers, studying Gino carefully. “Is that a problem?”

“No.” The word was drawn out, Gino refusing to look at him. “But don’t you think it’s risky?”

“He doesn’t want to help Japan conquer us.”

“It’s not that. It’s…” Gino trailed off, the knight keeping silent for a moment before shaking his head. “There’s something you need to know about him. And it’s important, so don’t laugh it off.”

“Why would I?”

“Because it sounds insane. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it myself.”

“What did you think you saw?”

Gino opened his mouth to speak, his mouth snapping shut when footsteps echoed down the hall. Lelouch sat up straighter in the chair, staring at the small, barred window in the door.

For a while he could only see the stone on the other side of the hallway, the stone was lit up by a torch. Lelouch didn’t get the chance to see who had come for them until the door had swung open.

He fully expected to see Luciano step into the cell, so he was surprised when he saw Bartley instead. Lelouch stared at the open door, preferring to scan what he could see of the hall. He couldn’t see guards peering in or any signs that there were guards, which just solidified his assumptions about their position. It was only when he was sure that there was no one for waiting for Bartley in the hall that he turned his gaze back to the general.

Bartley mopped his brow with his handkerchief, the man looking nervously between the two of them. The general’s gaze lingered on the knife stuck in Lelouch’s shoulder, a curse escaping him. “My god.”

“I wouldn’t call Luciano that.” Lelouch shrugged with his good shoulder. “But it is obvious that he has something on you, or are you just doing your duty to the emperor? There has to be some reason you were rewarded so well after losing at Itsukushima.”

“That wasn’t my fault. There were more Japanese that we predicted…and they had the higher ground. P-prince Clovis was technically in command.”

“So you weren’t at fault for anything.” Lelouch smiled and stretched his legs in front of him. It was surprisingly easy to put Bartley off his game, which meant that none of this was the man’s plan. His castle was just being used by Luciano, and Bartley was probably desperate to keep his good standing with the emperor.

After all, times were dangerous with the slaughter of the royal family and Charles’ desertion of Pendragon. No one knew what would happen, especially since he was the only prince remaining. Bismarck had all but announced his intention to hold the throne for Charles, but Bismarck could get away with such claims. He was the Knight of One, the premiere knight in Britannia and people respected him. Backing Bismarck would be the smart move, but Bartley was still nervous.

Lelouch looked around their small cell, tipping his head to the side so he could still see Bartley. “Still nervous about Bismarck’s chances? I thought you would be more confident. You have me at your mercy, or is Luciano running this show? What have you done to need this favor?”

“Nothing.”

“Ah. So you want to get back to court instead of being stuck out here.” Lelouch chuckled. “That won’t happen, they still curse your name with Tohdoh’s. Clovis was very popular at court.”

“They’ll start cursing your name too.”

“I guess they will.” Lelouch looked over at Gino, watching as the man worked at his restraints. Gino wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon, but Lelouch was glad of it. There were still a few more things that he wanted to pick out from Bartley, because Luciano certainly wouldn’t tell him.

Almost as if the thought had summoned him, Lelouch heard more footsteps from the hall. He didn’t have to wait long to see Luciano step into the room, the knight smiling at the two of them. “Get anything else out of them, Bartley?”

“No.”

“And they said that Lelouch was smart. He was dumb enough to walk into a trap and to keep quiet. It’s not like he’s going anywhere.”

“I’m really not.” Lelouch tried not to grin when Bartley and Luciano turned back to look at him. He nodded at the two of them, turning the motion into a nod out at the hall. “No one knows I’m here, do they? To all of my men I’ll have just disappeared. They’ll probably think that I’ve been killed by traitors or Bismarck’s forces and they’ll charge into Narita and get slaughtered. It’s a good plan, except that Bismarck won’t forgive you. He prefers to do things the honorable way, even if it gets him into trouble. But maybe it’s not about Bismarck, maybe it’s about revenge. How’s the shoulder, Luciano?”

Luciano reached up to rub his shoulder, which was enough of an answer. So all of it was a plan by the Knight of Ten to get some revenge for his humiliation. It must have been spectacular for Luciano to react like this. Usually Bismarck’s word was law among the Knights of the Round, but Luciano was doing his best to go around it.

Lelouch leaned back in the chair with a sigh. “Not good enough to fight with Bismarck?”

“Bismarck is an idiot if he thinks that you’re going to meet him for a battle. I’m just saving him the humiliation.”

“Better to ask forgiveness than permission.” Lelouch nodded like he understood, but his attention was on Bartley.

The general had moved away from Luciano, going to investigate where Gino was still messing with his manacles. Bartley probably wanted to be sure that Gino was still secure, because the knight was probably the most dangerous prisoner in the room. It was a mistake, but Lelouch was used to the mistake and he never failed to take advantage of it.

As soon as Bartley turned his full attention to Gino, Lelouch moved.

He jumped away from the chair, jerking the knife from his shoulder. Lelouch ignored the shock of pain from his thumb, forcing his fingers to curl around the slippery hilt of the blade as he turned it to jam it up into Luciano’s side.

By the time that he had lodged the knife in deep, he didn’t have the time to drive it deeper into an organ. Lelouch stumbled away as Luciano swatted at him, his foot catching on the chair that he had been given.

Lelouch reached back for the chair as Luciano bellowed and charged. He heard Bartley and Gino shout, but his full concentration was on Luciano.

The knight took two steps towards him before Lelouch shoved the chair into Luciano’s path. He twisted to grab at the knife with his good hand, screaming at the pain in his shoulder as he turned at the same time as he reclaimed the knife.

Luciano screamed as well, but the sound was cut short as he slammed into the wall with a horrible crack and squish. Lelouch shuddered at the sound and glanced away from the messy sprawl of Luciano’s body against the wall and the floor. He pointedly didn’t look at the smear of blood and brains either, although his stomach twisted.

He swallowed and moved over to where Bartley was staring at the corpse in horror. The general startled out of his shock when Lelouch pressed the blade of the knife against Bartley’s neck.

It took him two tries to be able to speak, Lelouch having to force his voice into something that sounded even. “Unlock the manacles.”

Bartley nodded and dropped to his knees. Lelouch watched as the general fumbled with the keys at his waist before he managed to find the right one. The keys jangled loudly in his hands and Bartley reached for Gino’s manacles. He missed his first few tries, but he managed to insert the key into the first manacle.

It fell off with a clank, Bartley practically lunging for the other one. He worked the second cuff off quickly, backing away when he was done.

Lelouch watched as Gino rose to his feet, the knight rubbing at his wrists. He waited until Gino was gone before nodding over at Bartley. “Watch him.”

Gino reached up to take the knife from him, Lelouch glad to have a reason to lower his arm. He reached up to press at the wound, watching as Gino came around to hold Bartley at bay.

It didn’t take much to keep the man cowed. Bartley backed against the wall opposite of Luciano’s body, leaning heavily against it. “It wasn’t my plan. I was just given orders.”

Lelouch closed his eyes, taking a few breaths to calm himself. He couldn’t lose control, not when he had to deal with the situation he had been forced into. There would be time for panic later, once he had settled himself in a safe position.

He opened his eyes to look at Bartley, shaking his head. “We’ll have to take him with us. I don’t trust him not to go running to Bismarck.”

“I won’t.” Bartley shook his head. “The battle should be over by now, but I think you can trade me away for a chance to escape.”

“You say that like we’ve lost.” Lelouch grinned at him, watching Bartley flinch back against the wall. “Gino, let’s move him to one of the upper rooms. We have business to attend to.”

“Yes, your highness.”

Gino prodded at Bartley, the general practically jumping away from the wall. Bartley seemed more than happy to scurry away from the cell, even while Gino’s restraining hand on his shoulder. Lelouch was sure that he wouldn’t have any problem getting the man to talk about his father’s plans, if Bartley knew anything at all. It would be just like Charles to dangle the chance at redemption but not reveal everything that was going on. Bartley had probably just wanted to grasp at the life he had known before Itsukushima; it wasn’t his fault that he had an excess of loyalty to the emperor.

Lelouch peeled his hand back from the wound on his shoulder, shaking his head as he looked at it. He would live, which was all he could ask for. He wouldn’t get to face down his father’s troops at Narita, but he could at least he could try to coax his father into a fight on his own terms. To do that, he would have to get out of Britannia, which was a nuisance. The empire would be in tatters without the royal family and the Senate was sure to start snapping amongst each other with Charles out of the country. And he didn’t have time for any of them.

Charles was in Japan, and Lelouch had no idea why the emperor had chosen to go there. He wasn’t invading, Lelouch was sure of that much. If he had planned to acquire a new Area for Britannia, then he would have taken Bismarck and the army the man had managed to gather. His father might be confident, but he was far from stupid. If Charles had been stupid, then he wouldn’t have survived the fight for the crown.

He breathed out slowly, turning to look at where Luciano’s corpse was still propped up partially against the wall. He’d have to get someone to look after that, but he was sure that Luciano could wait. It gave him a kind of strange pleasure to see the Knight of Ten dead by his own hand. No one would have believed it, none of his men and certainly not…

Lelouch shook his head, trying to brush away that line of thought. There were other, more important things to worry about. The first was securing Bartley’s castle, although Lelouch was sure that the general would just meekly had it over to him. Bartley had lost his gambit to return to the court, so it would make sense for the man to turn and try to win favor from Lelouch. As easy as it was, it certainly wouldn’t be enough for Lelouch to trust him, which meant that he would have to send away to the forts to gather his own army. It would be good to have his soldiers in place before Tohdoh and the Japanese came to find him. It would certainly be a better showing. And the more distance he could get between them, the better it would be for everyone.

He hadn’t meant to let it get so far. He’d learned the hard way to keep his careful distance from people he cared about. In the machinations of the court it was all too easy to lose them, either through treaties or because someone resented their influence. All things considering, it should have been easier to keep him away, but Lelouch had slipped up somewhere between Rivalz’s berating and the novelty of making an ally out of an enemy. The sheer depth of loyalty had astounded him too, so much so that he had tricked himself into imagining a future that couldn’t exist.

_“In another life, I would have knighted you. I would have, without hesitation. In another life, I wouldn’t have to send you away.”_

Lelouch clenched his left hand into a fist, ignoring the pain that shot through his shoulder at the move. He didn’t have time to think about that, not when there was no way that he could fix the past. Lelouch had learned his lessons about knights when he was ten. They were never as honorable as they were in the books that he read, nor could they perform great feats of might. They died just as easily as everyone else.

He turned on his heel and strode out of the room. He needed to make sure that Gino had secured Bartley and that he could send out three men. He wanted to send Gino, but that would be removing his only ally from the castle while he was injured. Three of Bartley’s men would do. One would be sent to the closest fort with the orders to spread the news and gather the army for his next move. The second would ride to Pendragon.

Lelouch was sure that Bartley and the rest of the nobles expected him to make a bid for the crown now that Charles was gone, but that would be stupid. His siblings might have been dead and the emperor out of the country, but there were plenty of nobles who would want to try for the crown themselves, or quickly switch to Charles’ side now that he had gotten his point across. It didn’t matter if they believed that he had ordered all of his siblings killed or if they had suspicions about what had really happened, the message was clear. It was dangerous not to be firmly on one side or the other. It wasn’t the kind of political situation that he wanted to leave behind, but he had no choice. His father couldn’t be allowed to move freely through Japan, not with the allies that he had there. Nunnally’s safety had to be considered, as well as his own.

They would both fare better if Charles was stopped in Japan, so he needed a messenger to rush to Pendragon to have his few supporters hold the line for him until he could come back.

The third messenger would go to Narita and try to intercept the Japanese army as they finished the battle. If they were successful, they would be guided to the castle. Lelouch didn’t even want to contemplate what would happen if they weren’t.


	23. Victory

Suzaku stared down at the army in the field below him. He picked out the sigils that were displayed on banners, not recognizing any of them save for the mastiff banner that had been raised at the head of the army, and that only because the saw the stylized winged staff that symbolized a Knight of the Round behind it. He remembered seeing Luciano with the same symbol behind his tiger symbol during the march down to the border, which meant that the man under the mastiff and staff had to be Bismarck Waldstein, the Knight of One.

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. The massed army below him was enough to make him wish that Rivalz and the other Britannians hadn’t been relegated to the back where they couldn’t be of any help. As it was, he was just grasping at straws and hoping that his knowledge of Britannian fighting styles would keep them all alive.

Suzaku dropped his hand back to his side, giving the open field one more look. He might not have known exactly who he was facing, but they had managed to get the high ground on the base of the mountain. That would give them the advantage against the cavalry charges that would make up the bulk of the Britannian attacks and possibly out of easy range of the archers. Still, Suzaku doubted that Waldstein would have given up the advantage of the high ground without a good reason. The man was the Knight of One, the most skilled and highly decorated knight of the empire. Waldstein wouldn’t make such and obvious mistake.

He looked back at the mastiff banner one last time before glancing over at Tohdoh. From the look on Tohdoh’s face, the man was thinking along the same lines that he was. They had been lucky so far, but the compliance of the Britannian forces could only mean trouble.

Tohdoh reached forward to smooth his horse’s mane to one side, the move hiding his nervousness. After a moment longer of silence, he finally nodded his head. “They outnumber us.”

“But we have the advantage.”

Tohdoh didn’t argue with that, but Suzaku was sure that his addition didn’t really matter. They might have been sure that they wouldn’t be surrounded, but that was not much of a comfort. Things could always change in the heat of battle, that’s how they had won at Itsukushima.

The more worrying thing was the lack of Lelouch’s familiar banner. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch would have scouting out the area and had returned. Even if he had missed the prince and his retinue Suzaku was sure that Lelouch would have heard the news that there was an army of three thousand Japanese soldiers marching further into Britannia. They should have met up with Lelouch and reinforcements by now, which worried him.

Suzaku had tried to talk him out of coming to Narita, but Lelouch had insisted. Back then, Suzaku had just counting on what men that Lelouch could pull from the forts and not the Japanese army. Certainly now that he had reinforcements Lelouch would be ready to meet with Bismarck. It was probably a crucial and much planned step in Lelouch’s grand plan, but the prince wasn’t there. The only reason Suzaku could think of for the desertion was that something had gone wrong.

He barely stopped himself from reaching for his sword. His first instinct was to turn around and urge his grey down the mountain. Tohdoh could handle the battle and he would order Rivalz to stay and help. He could ride through Britannia faster on his own and take care of any trouble that Lelouch had gotten himself into. Then again, even if Tohdoh agreed to the plan, he didn’t know where Lelouch had last been seen. And he wasn’t just another soldier in Lelouch’s small army anymore, he wasn’t Lancelot. He was Kururugi Suzaku, shogun of Japan. His army needed him with them.

Suzaku sighed and nodded slowly. “We can’t wait. He’ll call more nobles to his cause now that they know the Japanese are here.”

“It will be difficult.” Tohdoh leaned forward, gesturing with one hand. “Most of them are heavy horse.”

“They won’t be working together though. Some of the younger ones might try to charge up the hill.”

“Unless Sir Waldstein can hold them together.”

Suzaku shrugged, but he was sure that Tohdoh was right. If any of the younger lords wanted to rush their position they would have done it by now. But they were arranging themselves into careful lines, Suzaku watching as captains shouted at each other and waved men into position. Bismarck had things well in hand, which was bad news for them. Suzaku had hoped for a disorganized army because it meant that they would have been able to barrel through. Apparently, luck was against them. Suzaku had the horrible feeling that any luck that he’d had personally had turned against him when Tohdoh had ridden up to Babel Fort.

He eyed the arrangement of men, standing up slightly in his stirrups to see the back line of archers. Bismarck didn’t seem to be bothering to arrange them, nor was he paying much attention to the infantry. That was the only flaw that he could see, but Suzaku doubted that it was from hubris. Considering the size of their army, Bismarck probably hoped to crush them on the first charge. Suzaku doubted that Bismarck would get that lucky, but he couldn’t discount it. If Bismarck found that he couldn’t bowl them over, then they just might have to resort to the archers. If they wanted to get this done with the least loss of life and get away to find Lelouch, they were going to have to move swiftly and decisively.

Suzaku sank back down into the saddle, glancing over at Tohdoh. “Target the lords and captains.”

He almost expected Tohdoh to scoff, but the general had been around too long to just ignore any advantage that could be given to them. “Yes. And those archers have to be taken care of.” He reined his horse back, turning to look at the men and woman mounted behind him. “Cavalry form up and be ready for a charge. The infantry will follow close behind. We have to make this hard and quick, we don’t have the men to waste.”

The captains shifted nervously, but they all eventually nodded. Suzaku spared a moment to wonder if it was his presence that put them off or the fact that they were so badly outnumbered. He didn’t have the time to think much about it because Tohdoh turned back around to look at him.

The general gave the battlefield one more glance before sighing. “There’s no sign of Prince Lelouch.”

Suzaku shrugged, not quite able to repeat his promise that Lelouch would be there. It was obvious that the prince wouldn’t make it, and there was no point in attempting a lie. The fact that Lelouch wouldn’t be there caused a knot of worry to rise in his stomach, but it was followed quickly by frustration.

It was obvious that Lelouch had planned all of this out. From what he could see, it looked like Lelouch was trying to get rid of his enemies all in one fell swoop, Britannians and Japanese alike. Some part of him rebelled against the thought because the last night they had spent together had felt real.

Then again, Lelouch was a consummate liar.

Suzaku muttered a curse under his breath, glad that Tohdoh didn’t comment on it. He wasn’t quite ready to talk to anyone about what had happened, not until he had sorted it all out in his head.

He reached for his sword, settling his hand comfortably on the hilt. That seemed to be enough of a signal for Tohdoh because the general raised his own arm, sweeping it down quickly.

A shout burst from the army behind them, Suzaku giving the horse its head as the grey lunged forward. He heard the snorts and whinnies as the other horses followed, the cavalry streaming down the hill towards the Britannian army.

The Britannians startled and started to rush their preparations. Suzaku saw at least five knights running for their horses with pieces of armor still out of place. He didn’t know if they were Bismarck’s designated reinforcements or if they had managed to catch some of the army off guard. Suzaku doubted that it mattered much, not when Bismarck and his men were holding the line steady.

Suzaku glanced around at the fluttering flags and shining armor. It was all so familiar after months in Britannia. But he couldn’t ignore the flutter of the phoenix banners behind him, or the fit of his armor. It was light, flexible and it was like coming home. He drew his sword, joining his voice with the others that were shouting as they swept into the Britannian line.

The first clash was loud with the screams of soldiers and horses as both fell to the ground. Suzaku glanced from side to side to check on the riders beside him before he focused on the press of horses and knights around him.

Britannian armor was made to resist swords. Save for a few places where the armor joined, there were few weak points. It would be easier to knock them around until they were unconscious. Unless the knights removed their armor, they would have be careful about their aim. On the other hand, the Britannians would move slightly slower, which would be an advantage as the battle wore on.

Suzaku scanned the battlefield once more before falling into the rhythm of the battle. It was easier to exist in brief moments while he spread his awareness out as wide as it could go. The pattern of blocking and making strikes was a familiar one, a steady as the beat of his heart.

The grey pivoted easily under the guidance of his legs, the horse biting and lashing out at any of the chargers that got too close. Suzaku kept an eye out for the chargers. They would be just as deadly as their riders and Suzaku didn’t intend on going down under flailing hooves.

He ducked a clumsy swing, bringing his sword up like he was going to counter. The knight went for the bluff, Suzaku using the raising of the man’s arm to strike at the underarm. It was easy to shove the tip of the katana into the break between the edge of the chainmail and where fabric started.

The knight screamed and rocked on the horse, Suzaku quick to reach out and shove the knight away. The knight fell out of the saddle, his horse snorting and bolting away. Suzaku barely glanced down at the man, continuing his push forward.

It was grueling business to avoid strikes and find weak points, Suzaku taking advantage of the limited vision of the Britannian helms to maneuver his grey around to tight spots. He smiled when he saw that most of the Britannians were getting annoyed by the way that the Japanese were easily avoiding their attacks and yanking off their helms. They had done that at Itsukushima too, and they’d regretted it the same way. Now that some of the armor was peeled away, it was easier to make strikes at the head with sword and arrows.

Suzaku ducked close to the grey’s neck as the first volley of arrows from their side rained down on the Britannians. Most of them pinged off armor, but a few found their targets in eyes and heads. Suzaku wheeled his horse around, intending to head deeper into the fray when he heard someone’s voice rise above the clamor of the battlefield.

“Archers! Archers!”

He glanced around, scanning over two banners that were being pulled down. He skimmed over the cavalry that was being turned back by their infantry when they attempted a charge, searching for the source of the voice.

He found Bismarck towards the back of the charge, the knight obviously trying to rally the next group of knights that wasn’t quite ready for the first charge. The Knight of One was yanking his roan charger around, motioning for the next wave to pour in, but they were hesitating. Suzaku watched them rein their horses back into a line for a charge, but they didn’t seem to be looking forward to it.

They all looked so young and in battered armor with obviously missing pieces, ones that Suzaku was sure hadn’t been left behind. These were not the flower of Britannian chivalry.

Suzaku had heard members of the Britannian court bemoaning that the best of them had died at Itsukushima. He had never believed it, at least until he really looked at the force they were pushing through.

The first line had had the armor that he had expected, the heavy plates that would necessitate knocking them off of their horses. Once down, they would have been left to the foot soldiers, who would pry them out of the armor and finish them off. It was how they had won against the Britannians the first time, refusing to lock into battle for long and systematically working through the biggest threats. That and the fact that Clovis had been inexperienced and none of his generals had dared to speak up.

Suzaku pulled the grey around, staring at the knights with a new eye. There were a few older knights, but most of them were younger and increasingly nervous as the horses of the Japanese army continued to push through, leaving the knights to be taken care of by the foot soldiers that were going through after them. He saw a flash of bright armor as Rivalz and the other Britannians pushed in after them. He heard a shout rise up from the front line, one that quickly turned from joyful to amazement as the Britannians realized that Rivalz wasn’t leading reinforcements.

He pitched forward as his horse bucked, Suzaku grabbing at the grey’s mane. He tipped his head slightly to the side to watch the sword pass over him. Suzaku sat up as soon as he was free, striking with his sword at the exposed head of the man. The katana cut into the knight’s cheek, Suzaku urging the grey away before he could finish the stroke. Besides, the knight was already tumbling off their horse. They would either be trampled with the rest of the rush or taken care of by the infantry.

Suzaku glanced around for Tohdoh, finding his general circling around on one of the Britnanian’s flanks to start another push. The knights on that flank were already starting to falter. The archers were falling further back as well, the men looking like they wanted to escape. Except they wouldn’t break ranks. They might have been scared of Tohdoh, but they were more frightened of Bismarck.

He gritted his teeth and looked for the Knight of One. There wouldn’t be a chance for their smaller numbers if Bismarck managed to get the army in order then they would be doomed, which only left him one choice. He risked standing up in his stirrups, catching sight of the Knight of One as the man urged his horse into the fray.

The motion brought the remainder of the knights into the crush, Suzaku wincing at the first contact. He watched a few of his soldiers topple off of their horses, the Britannians quick to push through with their victory. They might have had the advantage with their charge, but the battle looked like it would turn into the horrible, slow grinding battle that Itsukushima had been. They didn’t have the time or men for that. If they lost at Narita, then Bismarck would show no mercy and Charles would be allowed to run rampant through Japan.

Suzaku muttered a curse under his breath before kicking the grey forward. He thought he heard someone call his name, but he didn’t bother to answer. Tohdoh could hold things for a while, just long enough for Suzaku to knock out the pin holding the Britannian forces together.

The grey rushed forward, Suzaku settling back into the saddle. It was a relief to turn his attention away from the planning of the battle and to the part that he knew best. He may have been the shogun’s son but, first and foremost, he had always been a soldier.

The knights that charged him were easy to counter, Suzaku sweeping under their guards to cut into their sides. Most of them didn’t have the heavy armor that the front line knights had, so he was attempting to cut through chain mail or actually cutting through fabric and into skin. Only a few actually tried to stop him, most of them were responding to the various orders that were being shouted from one end of the army to the other, or completely ignoring them to win their own glory. Considering the fact that Britannia had been held in an awkward peace for seven years, none of them had gotten the chance for the fortune and glory that they won their money from. It was in that desperation that some of them threw themselves at him.

Sword met sword with a horrible grating sound, Suzaku letting the curve of his katana move the blades away from him or down to catch them on the circular guard at the base of the blade. From there it was easy enough to flick his sword away and cut in. The knights that were brave enough to come after him were all young, all of them seeming to be surprised by the curve of his sword. Older knights would have been able to compensate, but the younger ones just seemed to panic and flail around. It was easier to push through them, slashing into vital areas or pushing them off their horses to be taken care of.

Pushing through the lines of knights proved easier than he thought, Suzaku almost surprised when he got through the line and found himself facing archers. They seemed just as shocked as he was, only a few of them attempting to draw their longbows. Suzaku urged the grey away before they could start firing, He caught a glimpse of panic on their faces, Suzaku turning his head to see what they were reacting to.

Some of the Japanese cavalry were starting to push through. Asahina was at their head, the young man shooting Suzaku a quick grin before charging forward. The riders that had followed him through turned to their new task quickly, all of them knew the damage that the Britannians could do with their longbows. Tohdoh hadn’t brought specific archers with him, but Suzaku could see some of the riders fumbling for their bows in response. Suzaku didn’t know if they would get a volley off before the Britannians, but he would leave it in Asahina’s hands.

He spotted Bismarck moving with the last line of knights, the Knight of One lifting his sword above his head. “For Britannia and the empire!”

The knights shouted with him, the sound dying down when they had to focus on guiding their horses around and over the fallen knights and horses. Suzaku saw one knight jostled out of his saddle from an awkward jump. They barely had time to call out before some of the Japanese infantry was rushing over. Suzaku ignored the screams, focusing on slipping through the back of the charge at the point closest to the Knight of One.

The Britannian’s attention was focused on pushing forward to try and stop the ruin of his cavalry. It would come close to too late, especially since Tohdoh and Ryōgapushing in from either side. They were further fouled by Rivalz and Kallen starting to force the charge to a stop from the front. With Asahina taking on the archers, the Britannians were hemmed in, but it wouldn’t take them much to break through. Suzaku was sure that it wouldn’t take Bismarck long to figure that out, panicking young knights or not.

Suzaku crouched low over the grey’s neck, letting the horse pick its own way over the bodies on the grass. He lurched slightly off balance when the grey made an awkward hop. He didn’t get to see what his horse had avoided, because it collided with another horse.

The grey stumbled but managed to keep its footing. The other horse squealed and knocked into the horse running beside it. The two of them went down in a tangle, Suzaku jerking on the reins to keep his horse from being fouled alongside them. He managed to avoid the worst of it, but the noise caused a few of the knights to look back and shout as they saw him.

Bismarck was one of them, the knight pulling his horse up as he stared. The Knight of One hadn’t been present at Itsukushima, and Suzaku had never figured out why. Suzaku was sure that the emperor had had his reasons, but he suddenly regretted it. He didn’t know how Bismarck fought other than a knowledge of how any Britannian fought.

He adjusted his hold on the katana, watching as Bismarck made his decision. The knight wheeled his horse around, charging at him.

It was a typical opening move. Suzaku eyed the large two handed sword that Bismarck swung easily above his head. One blow would probably kill him or his horse. His sword wouldn’t hold up too well either, katana or the longsword that he had passed off before they had gotten to Narita. He scanned over Bismarck’s armor, searching for an opening even as he jerked his horse’s head to one side.

They passed each other in a rush, Suzaku not bothering to stop the grey from reaching out to nip at Bismarck’s horse’s hindquarters. He heard the horse squeal, but he doubted that it was enough to deter Bismarck. He couldn’t make out the roan’s hoof beats over the sound of the rest of the battle, so he had to turn his head.

He saw Bismarck’s roan rear as the knight hauled the horse around, urging it back in another charge. Suzaku turned his grey to meet it, making sure to adjust the course so he was just off enough to aim for the parts of the horse and rider that weren’t protected by metal.

It was hard to cut the girth of the saddle, especially when there was a second to secure it to the horse, but he managed one, Suzaku breathing out in relief as Bismarck rocked in the saddle. More important was the way that the horse jumped to the side at the touch of the katana.

A short line of red appeared on her coat, not deep enough to be fatal but more than enough to hurt. The roan shied, Bismarck rocking easily with the motion before the saddle slipped and gave way.

Bismarck fell with a shout, the horse spooking in the opposite direction. Suzaku was quick to jump off his horse, not waiting to pull the grey up.

He rolled as he landed, coming up onto his feet and charging Bismarck. He could see the knight messing with his helmet, trying to set it right or tug it off, Suzaku didn’t know. It didn’t matter either way, covering the short ground between them without getting his head or arm cut off was more important.

Suzaku heard Bismarck’s name being shouted as the knights tried to come back and rally around their leader, but he was already stepping up. Bismarck had flipped his visor up, probably to try and breathe while he adjusted the helmet. Suzaku slashed towards Bismarck’s face, watching as Bismarck jerked his head back in surprise.

He didn’t get a deep cut, but the blade cut across Bismarck’s right eye. The man howled in pain and fell backwards. Suzaku backed away as Bismarck flailed out at him. The knight’s great sword still rested on the ground, Suzaku glancing at it before kicking it away. He didn’t want to have to deal with the sword in close quarters.

Suzaku backed off, panting for breath as he looked around. The knights had backed off for a moment, probably deciding what to do as the Japanese pressed in. They should keep fighting but Suzaku was sure that a few of them would try and rush in to defend Bismarck. He doubted that they didn’t know who he was, not with the banners and the way that some of the soldiers had started screaming his name. He flicked the blood from his katana, stepping forward to strike at Bismarck’s face again.

He aimed another strike at Bismarck’s face, getting the man’s hand as the knight raised it to defend himself. Suzaku tracked the finger that got sheered off. He tried to ignore the way his stomach twisted as he stepped up to Bismarck. He nudged the tip of the katana under the man’s chin, holding it steadily as he stared down at Bismarck. “I’m giving you the chance to call off your army and surrender.”

Bismarck stared at him, Suzaku not sure if it was because he was taken aback by the clarity of Suzaku’s Britannian or if the blood was distracting him from what Suzaku had said. The Knight remained silent for a moment more before clearing his throat. “Where is Prince Lelouch?”

Suzaku wanted to make an excuse, but he found himself shaking his head. “I don’t know.”

“He invited you?”

“No.” He doubted that Bismarck would recognize him, not with the armor, borrowed helmet and lack of his golden collar. Bismarck had never paid much attention to him when he had passed through the Britannian court. Still, there was no reason to pretend that he had ridden up for no reason. “I’ve been here.”

Bismarck’s one eye narrowed as he thought over the statement, but it was obvious when he just threw the idea away. He rocked forward, grunting when Suzaku didn’t move the katana away. “You’ll provoke another war.”

“No. I’m stopping it.”

“By siding with Lelouch? Haven’t you heard, he killed all of his siblings?”

“He didn’t.”

“How can you know?”

“Because I’ve been here.”

The repeat of his words seemed to finally sink in, Bismarck’s mouth dropping open. The knight started to make a sound, but didn’t get it out before Suzaku cut his throat.

He stumbled backwards as the blood fountained up. Suzaku stared at it before he abruptly turned away as his stomach churned. He didn’t think that he would throw up, but he didn’t want to chance it. Tohdoh and the others wouldn’t understand, not with his reputation as a soldier. Suzaku wasn’t sure what he could pass it off as, because he doubted that any excuse would work for them and they wouldn’t accept the real reason. If he told any of them that killing his father had made him slightly squeamish he would be tried and killed right away. And he couldn’t do that, not until he figured out what had happened to Lelouch. He owed the prince that much.

Suzaku took a few deep breaths, biting his lip at the coppery smell of blood. There would be no escaping it until he got the time to clean up. Until then, he would just have to brace himself to deal with it. It’s how he had gotten through everything else.

He scanned the battlefield, watching as the fighting slowed down. There were still pockets, but Suzaku was sure that they would be stopped soon enough. Most of the Britannians’ attention was on him, although a few of them were glancing as Bismarck’s body. As he watched, the Britannians started to drop their swords to the group, a few of them rushing away towards their horses.

It was an ill-timed move, especially when they were still hemmed in. Suzaku watched as the defeated Britannians stumbled back into line, all of them looking warily at the Japanese.

There was a danger there, but Suzaku was too tired to think much about it. That was something that he could pass off to Tohdoh while he figured out the next step.

He wasn’t supposed to have come to Narita, he was supposed to be in Japan with C.C. as they searched out Nunnally. Or maybe that had only been him. Perhaps Lelouch had been expecting him to be there when Tohdoh rode in, so maybe he had been meant to come to Narita the entire time. But he had meant to be there was Lelouch so the prince could pull off whatever grand coup he had come up with after the news that his siblings had been killed. The question was why Lelouch would avoid such a huge battle, especially when it would establish him in the eyes of the Britannians and send a message to his enemies. Having Suzaku and the Japanese forces wouldn’t do anything but reinforce what the Britannians already knew. The Japanese were able to hold their own against the Britannian army, and they would be more of a threat now that he had killed the Knight of One.

Suzaku bent down to clean the blade of his katana, giving the battlefield a quick look over. Tohdoh’s captains were handling things, gathering the remaining Britannian knights and stripping them of their weapons. The knights looked angrier about the surrender than the common soldiers, who were practically throwing their weapons down at Asahina’s feet. Then again, the foot soldiers were all older than the knights. It was very likely that the foot soldiers had served during the last Britannian campaign, seven years wasn’t that long. They all remembered what war was like, while the knights were all probably too young to have fought.

He sighed and glanced down at his blade, looking at it. The older soldiers he could give to Rivalz with the orders to take them back to the forts, it was the knights that he had to worry about. The archers and foot soldiers might answer to Rivalz with the man’s steady authority, but the knights were all the sons of nobles and wouldn’t answer to a common man. Suzaku was sure that they wouldn’t answer to him either, not unless he threatened them.

The effort that it would take would be exhausting, especially while he had to keep looking out for Lelouch. Suzaku couldn’t imagine doing that and running a campaign. He wouldn’t know where to start, although he was sure that there was plenty riding with Tohdoh who would have plenty to say. Kallen, a red headed woman who was not afraid to make her voice heard, had been saying that there was no reason to stop at Narita on the ride up to the base of the mountain. Suzaku was sure that there would be plenty of others that agreed with her.

Pendragon was empty, leaving only the emperor’s council and the Senate composed of nobles, none of which had any power. With Lelouch gone there was no reason not to push on to Pendragon and take over the capital.

Suzaku would have been lying if he didn’t admit to himself that he had thought the same thing, except that he would have tried to hold it for Lelouch. It would have been a hard struggle and none of the rest of the army would have agreed.

Tohdoh would have shot the plan down immediately. Taking Pendragon wasn’t a guarantee of a victory, it just meant that they would hold the capital of an empire that was bound to resist. The only hope they would have would be if the Areas broke away from Britannia at the first sign of trouble or if the common soldiers were ready to stand under Rivalz until they found Lelouch. Either way, Suzaku wasn’t ready to commit Tohdoh to that promise, not when the both of them were uncertain about what Lelouch had plotted.

He stood up slowly, fumbling to sheath the katana again. He doubted that anyone would try and push anymore, not when Rivalz was ordering the foot soldiers again. Suzaku could even see them starting to secure the knights, much to the knight’s surprise. He could hear the two groups cursing each other, Suzaku rocking towards them before he remembered himself. He wasn’t part of Lelouch’s guard, he wasn’t Lancelot, the misplaced slave in Britannia. He had to act as the shogun, and he would have to keep reminding himself of that.

Suzaku turned at the sound of someone walking over the battlefield towards him. He nodded at Tohdoh, looking the general over.

Despite the blood splattered on him and the way that one of his _sode_ was dangling awkwardly from where the straps that had held it had been cut, Tohdoh looked fine if not a bit tired. That in itself was a bit jarring, because Suzaku had never thought of Tohdoh as old. With the way that Tohdoh was coming towards him now, Suzaku found himself thinking that his mentor should have been retired and not riding around Britannia.

He swallowed and walked to meet Tohdoh, just stopping himself from reaching out and offering support. Tohdoh would never allow it, which was another part of his childhood lost.

Suzaku curled his hand into a fist, holding himself still. “General.”

“The field is yours. Although I don’t know what we’re supposed to do with it.” Tohdoh’s mouth compressed into a hard line.

“We clear it. Rivalz will be giving command of the Britannian soldiers, but the knights will be held for ransom.” Suzaku shifted in place, searching the base of the mountain for any sign of Lelouch before abruptly giving up. If Lelouch hadn’t come before, then he wouldn’t be coming to help them now. He curled his hand around the hilt of the katana. “Then we’ll return to Babel Fort.”

“You intend to just wait for Prince Lelouch?” Suzaku was sure that the look on his face was answer enough, because Tohdoh shook his head. “I can’t keep the army in the fort, not unless you want a war going on between your two forces. We’ll camp on the other side of the border, and you should come with us, for your own safety.”

Suzaku stared at him, surprised by the conclusion that Tohdoh had come to and more by the fact that it made sense. He had been fine when he had just been the odd Japanese man that had followed Lelouch around. That man was more acceptable than Kururugi Suzaku, the latter had been the name connected to the Britannian defeat at Itsukushima. Going back among them would be suicidal, but it was his only choice. Rivalz and C.C. could hold the Britannians until Lelouch came back. If Lelouch came back.

He nodded slowly, watching as Tohdoh relaxed. He hadn’t realized how worried his general had been at that moment. Tohdoh loosened his hold on the horse’s reins, the animal immediately taking the chance to crop at the grass that wasn’t covered in blood. Tohdoh glanced back at the horse, but didn’t do anything to stop it. Instead, he looked back at Suzaku, some of the seriousness falling from his face to be replaced with something more like relief. “I can’t believe that you managed for so long. I would have thought that Prince Lelouch would have found you out immediately. What sort of deal did the two of you come to?”

Suzaku sucked in a quick breath, remembering the night before, remembering the way that Lelouch had kissed him and then the way that Lelouch had moved in and over him. He was sure that he blushed, especially with the way that Tohdoh’s gaze suddenly sharpened.

He shook his head, not sure that the motion was convincing. “It was mutual beneficial.”

The excuse was probably worse than just shaking his head, but it was the only thing he could come up with. He couldn’t begin to figure out how to tell Tohdoh what had happened to him, because that would mean telling Tohdoh what he had done. Suzaku was sure that he would lose Tohdoh if he admitted to how his father had really died, because the two of them had been friends in life. Considering that everything that Tohdoh was assuming about his time in Britannia, he didn’t want to add the fact that he had been a slave alongside it, because Tohdoh would just assume the worst.

He expected Tohdoh to make some comment about what he had been doing, but his general just sighed. “As long as you are sure you can trust him. The Britannians are not known for keeping their promises.”

“I’m aware.” Suzaku looked over the battlefield. “But he’s the best chance we have at support, especially considering what the emperor is up to.”

He heard Tohdoh make a surprised sound, but he didn’t turn around to look at his general. His gaze was fixed on the rider that had appeared over the hills that surrounded the mountain. Suzaku raised a hand to shield his eyes, trying to pick out something about the rider. It was possible that it was someone who had been sent by the forts to find him to report on the prince, or it could be someone that the Senate had sent to check on Waldstein. If it was the latter, then he would have to send someone out to make sure that the rider never got back. It was one thing to have rumors of a Japanese army marching around, but it was another thing to have a confirmed sighting.

Suzaku raised his hand, hearing the faint clatter as Tohdoh swung up onto his horse. The horse snorted, the jangling of the stirrups adding to the noise. But Tohdoh held the horse still, probably waiting for a signal from him.

His eyes widened when he saw the banner that the rider unfurled, Suzaku staring at the red shape of Lelouch’s sigil. He flung up his hand, hoping that the signal would keep Tohdoh at bay. He didn’t hear the horse moving, which was enough of a reassurance for him. The rest of the army seemed content to stand as long as Suzaku and Tohdoh didn’t move, all of them watching silently and curiously as the rider came down to them.

As the rider got closer Suzaku could see that it was a young boy, probably a page at a noble house. The boy was looking at the battle with a mixture of shock and horror. It was probably nothing like what he had heard in the songs of the great deeds of knights. Suzaku had never heard anything that matched the true horror of battle when songs were sung about King Arthur and his knights.

He picked his way out towards the rider, watching as the boy pulled up his horse. It wasn’t until Suzaku got close that he saw that the boy’s hands were shaking. Suzaku resisted the urge to reach out for the horse’s reins to keep the animal still. He was sure that, between the sight of the battle and the Japanese soldiers, the boy was ready to bolt and Suzaku couldn’t allow that, not when the boy had come bearing Lelouch’s banner.

The boy looked over the field one more time before he looked down. He tensed when he looked down at Suzaku, his hand jerking on the reins. The horse snorted but didn’t move, the boy going pale. Suzaku opened his mouth to speak to the boy, surprised when the boy beat him to it. “L-lord Kururugi.”

Suzaku ignored the way that the boy stumbled over his name, tipping his head in a nod. That seemed to be all the encouragement that the boy needed.

The boy snapped to something that he must have thought was attention, bowing a moment later. “I have a message from Prince Lelouch.”

Suzaku couldn’t help but start forward at the name. He checked himself quickly, glad that the boy was still in his awkward bow. He cleared his throat, waving the boy on even though he was sure that the boy didn’t see him. “Carry on.”

The boy looked up, quickly averting his gaze. “H-he said to congratulate you on your victory if you carried the day and that he invites the shogun and his troops to join him at Rougemont Castle. And that I was to lead you there if you had no means to get there. The prince a-also said that he was pleased to hear that Lord Kururugi was alive and well despite all rumors and that he waits on you at your earliest convenience.”

Suzaku frowned, drumming his fingers against the hilt of his katana. The message sounded like Lelouch when the prince was being formal, and it put him on edge. There was also the assumption that the shogun’s son would be with the army, but Suzaku didn’t want to think too hard on that. He was more relieved to know that Lelouch was alive, and annoyed that Lelouch hadn’t bothered to keep their appointment.

He turned on his heel, looking back over the field. Tohdoh had edged his horse closer, but he wasn’t looking for his general. His gaze landed on Rivalz, Suzaku quick to wave the man over.

Rivalz nodded and jogged over, giving the boy a grin before he stopped. “My lord?”

The words felt wrong coming from Rivalz, but Suzaku had to ignore it. There were more important matters to focus on than forms of address. “Prince Lelouch is at Rougemont Castle. Do you know it?”

“Rougemont? That’s Bartley’s castle.” Rivalz rubbed his chin before nodding. “We could get there in time to set up camp if we hurried.”

Suzaku sighed. There was no question that he had to go meet with Lelouch. The prince was the one with the plan, and Suzaku was sure that Tohdoh would want an explanation. _He_ owed Lelouch an explanation, but that was secondary to the need to make sure that Lelouch was alright. The prince had ridden out to scout out the field at Narita and Suzaku doubted that Lelouch would just change his mind on a whim and not send word back when he knew that his army was coming.

There was no question of what to do about the captured soldiers, they would just have to march them along. With them tagging along, Suzaku was sure that they would be cutting into the time they had to set up camp.

He rubbed a hand over his face before nodding. “Then we should get moving. Rivalz, gather your men and keep watch on the prisoners. Kallen will help you. Tohdoh, gather up everyone else. We’re going to meet the prince.”

Rivalz and Tohdoh saluted him before moving off to do their assigned tasks. Suzaku watched them go before turning his attention back to the boy, not surprised when the boy put his heels to his horse and spun it around. The boy rushed after Rivalz, quickly reefing in the banner that he carried.

Suzaku’s stomach twisted as he watched the sigil disappear. At least he knew what had happened to Lelouch, but that didn’t settle him at all. There would be too much to cover when they finally met, and Suzaku was tempted to just lie. It would be easier to meet Lelouch as Kururugi Suzaku, shogun of Japan, than try and explain what happened. Then again, Lelouch wouldn’t be fooled easily. With that being the case, then it might be easier to just speak about the battle and then nothing else.

Either way, it would be the end of whatever had happened, but Suzaku had known that. But that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t regret it.

Suzaku muttered a curse under his breath before turning on his heel and storming across the field to retrieve his horse. He could try his best to outthink Lelouch, but he had the sinking sensation that he would be outmaneuvered and he wouldn’t have the patience for that. He had an army to settle and the questions that his people were sure to ask. There was no time to be sniping at Lelouch in all of that. It was almost enough to make him wish that he had been sent out with C.C. to search for Nunnally. Anything would be better than meeting with Lelouch.


	24. Lover

Suzaku didn’t know what he expected when he returned from Narita with the might of Japan and Tohdoh at his back.

He expected the stares as they rode into camp, the way that the soldiers’ gazes lingered on where he rode at the front, restored to all his finery as befitting the son of a great  _daimyo_ , the son of the shogun. He expected the anger that he saw on their faces, especially when they recognized Tohdoh, the great general riding calmly beside him. And he fully expected the way that the Britannians reached for their swords.

What he didn’t expect what the quiet of the place, and the lack of any welcome by Lelouch.

Suzaku frowned as he pulled his horse up, sliding off the grey’s back before he tossed the reins back to Tohdoh. His old teacher caught them easily, but Suzaku couldn’t look back at him for long. He knew what Tohdoh and the others were waiting for, which was some kind of answer, and he didn’t have that. All he had was what Lelouch had told him, and none of them would be happy taking orders from a Britannian prince.

He sighed and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before motioning away from the Britannian camp. “Just somewhere over there. Keep your distance until I get this sorted out. Post guards if you have to, but try not to kill them. We might need them.”

He heard one of Tohdoh’s captains grumble, but he didn’t dare turn around to see which one. Tohdoh would sort everything out in the camp, which left him free to tackle the big problem.

The simple way to solve everything would be to let their armies throw themselves at each other until they got their aggression out. But that would solve nothing and everyone would end up with bruises and resentment. The path of least resistance was to go right to the source and hope that Lelouch would listen to him.

Suzaku opened his eyes as he took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. He didn’t bother to look at the soldiers, but strode towards Lelouch’s tent. He hoped that the sight of him striding into Lelouch’s tent was familiar enough that no one would question him. The clothes and swords wouldn’t matter, because he was still the slave that spent most of his time by Lelouch’s side.

He managed to cross the camp with only harsh stares at his back, Suzaku carefully keeping his chin up. He didn’t want to meet any of their gazes and seeing the accusation there. Suzaku knew what they were thinking about him, about what his people and what they had done. What he had done.

Suzaku swallowed and stopped in front of Lelouch’s tent, staring at it. It would be easier to turn away and go back to Tohdoh and the others. There he would be safe and he wouldn’t have to have the conversation that had been lingering in the air. It would be easier to focus on his part of the war and never speak to Lelouch again.

He didn’t get the choice, Suzaku taking a step back when the tent opened. He stared at C.C. as she walked out of the tent, expecting harsh words or the same anger that the others had. She was Lelouch’s closest friend after all, the one that had lingered by his side since he had known the prince.

Instead, she just stepped to the side and held the flap open for him. “He’s waiting.”

Suzaku winced but stepped into the tent. He turned slightly in time to see the smile that C.C. gave him before she dropped the tent flap. He couldn’t figure out if she was trying to be encouraging or if it was one of pity, and he didn’t get the time to linger over the problem long.

Someone towards the back of the tent cleared their throat, Suzaku turning around at the sound. His heart pounded quickly when he saw Lelouch sprawled elegantly in his chair.

“Hello lover.”

Suzaku swayed forward at the greeting, habit making him want to go over to Lelouch’s side. He hadn’t seen the prince since they had split up at the fort, and Lelouch hadn’t been at Narita like he had promised. He needed to be sure that Lelouch was alright, but that wasn’t his job anymore. He didn’t think it was anyone’s job anymore.

He tipped his head, but didn’t move from his place. “Lelouch.”

“Kururugi Suzaku.”

His real name sent a shiver down his spine, Suzaku trying not to flinch back. He must have made some move because he saw a smirk flicker across Lelouch’s face. It was the one that Suzaku associated with victory, the one that said that Lelouch was sure that he had won. Suzaku had no defense against it, because his mind wasn’t as whipcord fast as Lelouch. He was still stumbling over what he could report about Narita, but Lelouch was a conversation or two ahead.

Suzaku bit his lip, trying to rush forward to the point at where Lelouch was before giving up. Lelouch was the one who could plot out a whole battle before it happened, guess the ebbs and flows. Suzaku was the one who hunkered down on the battlefield and blazed his way through.

“You know who I am.”

“Oh Suzaku.” Lelouch shook his head, standing up slowly. “Why do you think you were given to me? I’ve  _always_  known.”

Suzaku felt his blood run cold, sure that his mouth was hanging open.

He had thought he was well hidden behind a false name and because Lelouch had never seen him without armor. He had thought that Lelouch’s hatred stemmed from what had happened at Itsukushima, not because he had known that Suzaku had been the one behind all of his suffering.

Now that he knew that, everything Lelouch had done made sense. All the screaming and insults, the cold disdain. Suzaku rolled his shoulders, almost wishing for the catch of scars from the beating that he had been given. All of that had been done while Lelouch had known that he had been the one who had killed Clovis, the one who had ridden out to the lines on General Kusakabe’s orders to snatch up the princess that they had been offered in the days of talks that they had sat through before everything had dissolved into war.

Lelouch had always known that he had been the one to ride off with Nunnally.

Suzaku swallowed and carefully kept his hands away from his swords. He was sure that Lelouch was waiting for something, the usual anger or annoyance, but all Suzaku could think of was how Lelouch looked like when he talked about his little sister. How Nunnally had looked when he had passed her off to Kaguya.

How he still didn’t know what had happened to her.

The last time he had seen Nunnally was his final visit to the Sumeragis all those months ago. The last he had heard about it, his father’s council had still be talking about who to marry the princess of Britannia off to. And then his father had talked about marrying the princess himself. And then he had talked about starting the war again. And then he had killed his father in his rage.

And then…and then…

Suzaku took a step back, shaking his head as he stared at Lelouch. “So that’s why?”

“Yes, to all of it. I knew from the start that you were the son of a bitch who stole my little sister away.” For a moment, it looked like Lelouch was going to shout at him, but the prince reined himself back in. “I had hoped that I could just torture the information out of you, but my father wouldn’t allow it. He wouldn’t allow me to hurt you, and I wondered why because he kept insisting that you were just another slave. Then I hoped that, out of the goodness of your heart and because we trusted each other, that you would tell me. But you didn’t. You never did.”

“Lelouch, I-”

He snapped his mouth shut when Lelouch held up a hand. Lelouch held his gaze for a moment before shaking his head. “Go back to your army.”

“Lelouch…”

“Come back tomorrow. We’ll go over our next step.”

“Lelouch-”

“YOU ARE DISMISSED, SUZAKU!”

He backed away automatically, already moving through the tent flap before he realized what he was doing. Suzaku kept moving until he was out of the tent, staring at the fabric as he tried to figure out what was happening. It was exactly how he had expected the conversation to go and beyond his expectations. Suzaku had never thought that Lelouch would forgive him, but he had hoped that some of the anger was gone. Suzaku didn’t know how he had managed to fool himself for so long, but he had managed it.

And, for that, he was every bit the idiot that Lelouch called him.


	25. Drink

Suzaku was sure that someone at the table was going to die. The tentative truce between his forces and Lelouch’s was too new and Lelouch acting far too arrogant for their talks to go any other way. Even without Lelouch goading anyone on, Suzaku was sure that everyone at the table wanted to kill each other.

The Britannians that Lelouch had brought to the table all had their reasons. Gino and Rivalz, because he had lied to them and the prince. Jeremiah, because the man was completely loyal to Lelouch and hated anyone that wasn’t from Britannia. Currently, he was looking down the table at Suzaku with the same expression Suzaku expected from someone seeing an animal sitting at the table.

His own side wasn’t much better. Tohdoh had been one of the few Japanese generals who had managed to force back the much larger Britannian armies. Chiba because she had spent the last seven years fighting back raids, whether they be Britannian or from the hill tribes. And then there was Kallen, who hated anything Britannian on principle. She was the only one on his side that looked openly hostile.

Suzaku resisted the urge to lean forward and bury his head in his hands, because that would be admitting defeat. He needed the two sides to get along just long enough to save Japan from becoming Britannia’s next area. And, whether Lelouch wanted to acknowledge it or not, he needed the army that Tohdoh led to keep from being dragged by up to Pendragon to be executed for the supposed murder of the royal family. They needed each other, if only for a little while longer.

He curled his fingers around the edge of the table, daring a quick glance over at where Leouch was sitting at the head. The Britannian prince was as calm and collected as he always was, and just as smug. Suzaku could practically feel the anger radiating off Kallen from the look on Lelouch’s face and he wanted nothing more than to motion for her to calm down, but Lelouch beat him to it.

The prince smiled like he was actually happy to see all of them there before standing up. Habit kept Suzaku sitting down, but he noticed the way that Tohdoh and Kallen shot him various degrees of surprised looks. He glanced at them and shook his head. He wasn’t going to push this point, not when there were more pressing things to worry about. Besides, this wasn’t about position quite yet, this was their inner councils coming to terms. The show would come later.

Lelouch didn’t lord his position over them, he merely used the little bit of reach that standing afforded him to push the map closer to the center of the table. Suzaku was sure that none of them missed the way that his fingers lingered over Aomori-ken. He heard Chiba suck in a quick breath between her teeth, but that was the only sound in the room.

He looked up to meet Lelouch’s gaze, sighing when Lelouch quickly looked away. The two of them hadn’t gotten the chance to talk properly since Lelouch had practically run him out of the tent. Anything they wanted to say to each other was said through messengers, which wasn’t satisfying at all. Suzaku could never start to explain himself properly and Lelouch didn’t seem inclined to share information through his messengers.

Suzaku dropped his gaze back to the map, focusing on the myriad of lakes and hills that dotted the border between their two countries. He only dragged his gaze back up when Lelouch started speaking.

“I’d like to thank you for your prompt action. Without your timely arrival at Narita, I fear our cause would have been lost.”

“And what cause is that?”

Suzaku made a hurried motion for Kallen to keep quiet, but Lelouch continued on like he hadn’t heard her.

“My sources have told me that Emperor Charles is no longer in Pendragon. In fact, he left the day before the slaughter in the imperial palace. He is traveling down to Edo,” Lelouch’s hand shifted to the capitol, “and he should arrive there in a few days if the weather holds.”

Tohdoh leaned forward, frowning down at the map. “And why would the emperor go there? I haven’t heard any news about further peace talks.”

“My father isn’t interested in peace, he’s interested in conquest. I have it from a…reliable source that he’s calling in the clauses of the last treaty.”

Suzaku saw Tohdoh stiffen out of the corner of his eye, aware of Jeremiah doing the same thing on the other side of the table. Tohdoh shifted in his seat. “I was not aware of any clauses that would require the emperor’s presence.”

“Not the treaty from the war, a private agreement between my father and your current shogun.” Lelouch paused, Suzaku quick to look away from his side as the prince went in for the kill. “Or have you not wondered why Sawazaki Atsushi was chosen for the position over the other candidates? Or why Suzaku was sent to Britannia?”

The six others at the table went silent for a moment, Suzaku not daring to look at them.

He knew the answer to one of Lelouch’s questions, and he didn’t want to have to answer it. The answer would probably be the thing that made them all turn on him. Tohdoh had been one of Genbu’s generals, and Chiba would always sway the same way as Tohdoh. Kallen would take any excuse not to work with the Britannians. And that would be the end of it.

To his surprise, Rivalz was the one to break the silence. He leaned back in his seat, shaking his head. “That’s pretty suspicious.”

Lelouch nodded, his gaze locking on Tohdoh. “Of course, you would know that treaty better than anyone, General Tohdoh, so you are the only one who can truly say.”

Suzaku could feel Tohdoh’s gaze on him, but he refused to meet it. These were all things that he had already figured out and it wasn’t the time to comment on them. He was sure that either Tohdoh or Kallen would corner him and demand the full story of what happened.

He reached up to rub the side of his neck, still surprised that his fingers didn’t hit metal before skin. He pressed his fingers against the callous, holding them there as Tohdoh looked away.

The man sighed, Suzaku hearing Tohdoh’s chair creak as he shifted his weight. “The treaty just transferred Aomori-ken back into our control and allowed for Japanese soldiers to remain on the border while the Britannian soldiers pulled back. I believe that there were talks of a political marriage. I have heard nothing beyond that, or anything that would require the presence of the emperor. Then again, I have not been invited back to Edo since the death of our previous shogun, I have only heard rumors about what is happening. None of them are good.”

“I believe it. My father wouldn’t have given up his idea of conquest so easily.”

“And you will?” Kallen stood up abruptly, shoving her chair back. “How do we know that you’re not just going to use us to march into Edo and impose _your_  rule on everything? You are Britannian after all.”

Lelouch laughed. “I have no interest in Japan, Britannia is enough of a handful for me. I just want two things. One, permission to take a small escort and find my sister, Princess Nunnally.”

The demand went over well enough. Suzaku carefully kept his expression neutral as the others looked at him.

Tohdoh was the first to nod. “A marriage was promised in the treaty, and we got it. A willing bride is better than a reluctant one.”

Lelouch sighed, some of the tension leaking from his shoulders. He was quick to keep pushing on, his fingers moving over the map again. “Two, I want Aomori-ken.”

Suzaku tensed at the demand, hearing Tohdoh and Chiba stand up. He couldn’t bring himself to move, he was too busy staring at Lelouch.

Aomori-ken had been a part of Japan first, but it had changed hands a hundred years ago in one of the many border skirmishes between Britannia and Japan. It was always the first thing to be demanded by one side or the other, and Suzaku was sure that the demands would never stop.

He glanced around at his sparse council, hating the serious looks they were giving him. He wanted to tell them that they had no choice. None of them had been in Britannia, none of them had been in the thick of Charles’ machinations. Compared to what they could lose, Aomori-ken was a tiny price to pay. But he was sure that they wouldn’t pay it.

Suzaku shook his head, resting his hand on the table but not getting up. “You’re asking too much.”

“I don’t think so. Let me simplify things. Aomori-ken is currently heavily influenced by Britannia and many of them still call themselves Britannian. To have a famous Japanese general as governor doesn’t sit easily with them. What I propose is to have someone else in charge of the prefecture, someone who matches the divided status. In return, I’m sure that the new shogun would be happy to present a position on his council in return for this trade.”

Suzaku felt a quick stab of fear. He shook his head. “Lelouch…”

Tohdoh didn’t seem to notice his reluctance, his whole focus on Lelouch. “Who would you get to replace me?”

“I think Kallen would be suitable. We’d have to lean on her Britannian blood up north, but I’m sure that things could be smoothed over.

Suzaku looked over at Kallen, expecting her to refuse. To his surprise, she was nodding slowly. She had no love for the Britannians, but the chance to govern a prefecture was something that no sane person would pass up, especially when it would give her the chance to rub it in the faces of the Britannian side of her family that had sneered at her. As far as Suzaku knew, the Stadtfelds were stuck in their crumbling manor far away from Pendragon.

He licked his lips as he looked back at Lelouch, fully expecting the victorious look on the prince’s face. Lelouch had just asked the lowest prince to chase the Emperor of Britannia out of their country. The only thing that they might balk at was the changing of hands at Aomori-ken, but even that might be more on principle than anything else. Tohdoh wasn’t getting any younger and the border would always be a fractious place. It would be better to pass it on to a younger governor and retire to an easier job like an adviser to a shogun. Suzaku was sure that Chiba wouldn’t let Tohdoh pass on it.

Lelouch had just won the entire Japanese faction in under an hour. Suzaku wasn’t surprised at all by that.

He sat back in his seat, watching as the negotiations came to a close. Neither side would capitulate to the demands so quickly, Suzaku was sure that Tohdoh would want to stall a little longer. None of them wanted to look like they were so easily swayed, especially by a Britannian prince.

Lelouch seemed to realize this because he sat back down. “I would give you more time to consider, but I believe that we are on a tight schedule. Would tonight be long enough to talk among yourselves?”

Suzaku was sure that Tohdoh would agree to the delay, but he felt the press of time keenly. Every minute they delayed was one minute closer to Charles being in control of Japan. It was his fault that his country was even in the situation, which was why he had to be the one to save it.

He shook his head, trying to ignore the flash of relief that he got when Lelouch looked at him. Whatever had been between them had passed with his public reveal. Lelouch might have been able to trick himself that Suzaku was nothing more than his slave, but there was no way that Lelouch would be able to do that now.

Suzaku swallowed, forcing himself to hold Lelouch’s gaze. “That sounds more than fair.”

Suzaku was sure that he imagined the way that Lelouch smiled, because the prince looked just mildly amused in the next moment.

Lelouch waved his hand, Suzaku recognizing the signal used to call one of the servants that usually lingered around the edges of a room. “We should celebrate. Drinks.”

Suzaku was on his feet before he could really think about what he was doing. It wasn’t until he had stepped towards the door that he realized that all eyes in the room was on him. 

He froze, turning slightly to look at the people assembled. Lelouch looked just as bored as he always had, but the Britannians looked amused, like he had just proven what they had all thought. The faces of his own delegation looked just shocked that he would move on what was obviously an order. Tohdoh was the only one who looked slightly concerned, Chiba and Kallen both looked disgusted that their leader would submit so easily to a Britannian’s order.

Suzaku considered laughing the misstep off, but it was far too late. All of his commanders knew what had happened to him, it hadn’t been hard to figure it out from the comments that the Britannians had made. That and he hadn’t bothered to hide it. The only route left to him was retreat.

He turned on his heel and walked out of the room, quick to shut the door behind him. Suzaku leaned back against the door, taking a deep breath as he tried to focus beyond the horrible humiliation that he felt.

The manacles had been removed since they had ridden out of Pendragon and the collar had been taken off before he and Tohdoh had ridden to Narita. There was nothing left on him that said slave, nothing except for his habits and that would be trouble. Tohdoh was pleased with the terms and, once they figured out what Suzaku had done, it wouldn’t take much to convince him that they could move on without Suzaku.

He clenched his hands into fists, taking another deep breath before he pushed away from the door.

Lelouch was welcome to them, he needed them more than Suzaku did. After all, he didn’t intend to survive much longer after Edo was recaptured. He owed the people their freedom, but he didn’t intend to wiggle free from the law.

He strode down the hall, not getting further than the first corner before the door opened. Suzaku turned, surprised to see Kallen rushing after him. He didn’t have the time to ask why she had left the talks when she reached out to shove him against the wall.

“What’s your problem?”

Suzaku stumbled backwards, surprised by the manhandling. It had only been a short time, but he had already gotten used to the deference that he was treated with. In a strange way, it was almost refreshing to have Kallen ignore all of that and treat him just like another soldier.

Suzaku leaned back against the wall, giving her space. “The part where I’m signing away our prefecture or where I was Lelouch’s slave?”

Kallen narrowed her eyes. “You’re not that anymore. You’re our shogun, and you’d better start acting like it. Stop giving in to him. I don’t care if it’s habit. We need a strong leader.”

“You know I’m not. I’ve never been.”

“Well, you’re all we’ve got.”

“No, you have Lelouch. He’ll look after you.”

Kallen practically growled as she took a step forward. “What’s the point of chasing Charles out of Japan if you’re just going to throw it all at his son?”

“Lelouch is different.”

“Not from where I’m standing.”

Suzaku rolled his eyes. “What do you expect me to do?”

“Lead us. Make a stand for us. Don’t let him roll over you.”

“What’s the point?”

“The point is to keep us out of Britannian hands, or have you forgotten that?”

Suzaku sighed and slumped against the wall. “I haven’t forgotten it. But Lelouch’s are the safest hands.”

“No. Those are yours.”

“No.”

“You were trained for this.”

“Kallen, I can’t.”

“He’s a spoiled Britannian prince who doesn’t care about our country. He just wants to use it like all the others.”

“I  _can’t_!” His voice broke over the words, Suzaku too frustrated to care.

It at least got her to back off. Kallen stared at him before shaking her head. “You’re different now. Before you wouldn’t have hesitated to make demands and hold out until you got them. I didn’t expect you to have broken.”

Suzaku laughed, shaking his head. “Did they tell you why I disappeared?”

“Something about your father’s suicide.” Kallen shrugged. “They didn’t tell us much.”

“Kirihara called it a suicide?” 

“What else would it be?”

Suzaku stared at her. Kirihara had said that he would take care of everything and calling it a suicide would keep the whole nation from panicking. After all, the borders had suffered from more raids and there were always rumors about reprisals from Britannia.

He shook his head and went to push past her. He wasn’t surprised when Kallen blocked his way, but he was tired of it. Suzaku reached out to shove at her shoulder, Kallen bracing herself back against him. 

“Kallen, let me go.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on. I want to know if we’re walking into a trap or if you’re just going to disappear again. We can’t have you…doing whatever you did before.”

“Doing what…” Suzaku felt rage bubble up in him, but he was quick to clamp down on it. He didn’t know if it was habit from Pendragon or because he knew what was on the end of that argument. If he didn’t hold his tongue, then he would end up telling her everything.

But there was no point in keeping it back any longer. If anything, he should tell his commanders the truth so they could be prepared. If Charles was chased out, then his puppet shogun would be too, and they would need a replacement.

Suzaku leaned back against the wall. “It wasn’t a suicide. It was a murder. I killed him.”

Kallen’s eyes narrowed like she didn’t believe him. But, now that the secret was out, Suzaku couldn’t stop himself. It felt good to finally say the truth after months of bottling it up.

“I killed him, Kallen.”

“Why?”

“Does it matter? What matters is what I can do to make up for it and Lelouch is the best way to do it. He has the mind for it and he knows his father better than any of us.”

“And what do you get out of all of this?”

Suzaku gave her a look of pity. It was obvious that she was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that he had killed his father. There was no reason that she could see for why he would kill his father, and Suzaku would keep it that way. She didn’t need to know his reasons, only the outcome of his actions.

He went to step around her, surprised when Kallen let him go. He paused to look back at her, taking in the look of surprise on her face. She looked like she wanted to reach out for him, but she kept her hand close to her side.

“Suzaku, what do you get out of all of this?”

He raised one shoulder in a shrug. “I get to die.”

Kallen opened her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted by a door slamming. 

They turned around, Suzaku’s eyes widening as he saw Lelouch standing in the hall. 

There was no need to ask what he had heard, the prince’s face told him enough. 

Lelouch stared at him in horror for a moment before turning on his heel and walking away quickly. 

Suzaku heard Kallen curse, but he didn’t bother to chase after Lelouch. The prince would have found out eventually, and it was better than finding out when they got to Edo.

And maybe it was better this way. Lelouch wouldn’t miss him if he hated him.


	26. Shiver

Lelouch stared down at the map of Japan. He had to plan the joint army’s route through the hills and down towards the capital. For that he would have to talk to the generals to see which cities they would have to hit to secure their lines. He didn’t want another army sneaking up on him.

As much as he trusted Milly Ashford to hold the Senate in the palm of her hand - just like he expected Margrave Jeremiah to secure the border on old, convoluted promises to Marianne - it wouldn’t hold forever, but it would hold for the length of a campaign. If things started to break apart too much, Lelouch was sure that Schneizel could rush in and take control. His older brother owed him a favor for keeping their father distracted from the fact that he had escaped.

There were many things that he had to do, supply lines to plan, generals to talk with, and inventories to run down. All of it was important to the upcoming campaign if he wanted to end it quickly and swiftly, before Charles could gather what forces he had brought with him to Japan. If he did everything quickly enough, then he would have time to start a search for Nunnally before he had to head back and focus on Britannia. At least he could get a frame work, anything to get his plans working.

He had many things to do, but he couldn’t focus on them. All he could do was stare at the map of Japan and run the conversation he had overheard in the hallway.

_“Suzaku, what do you get out of all of this?”_

_“I get to die.”_

Lelouch clenched his hands, not caring that he wrinkled the map. The map was inconsequential compared to the relief that he had seen on Suzaku’s face in the moment. It had been the face of a man revealing his deepest secret, like lifting a weight from his shoulders. And, considering the horror that had followed, Suzaku had never intended him to know.

That was the second thing that Suzaku had never intended him to know, his real name or that little secret. Lelouch had thought that he had found out everything, but he had been wrong. Just like he had been wrong about how much he could hold his own feelings about Suzaku back. Rage had only gotten him so far, and it had crumbled just as quickly as it had been raised. It had been hard to hold onto it when Suzaku had become one of the rare few people that he could trust. It had been infuriating, and Lelouch had almost been ready to wash his hands of Suzaku when he had left to try and meet Waldstein.

It would have been easier if he had just been able to push Suzaku away, but the man had stayed close. He had remained just a dependable and just as important.

Lelouch breathed out heavily, staring at the map until it blurred. He shook his head, trying to get the names and lines to focus, but they wouldn’t. He growled out a curse and shoved himself away from the table.

The small camp table rocked and fell over, Lelouch ignoring the way that the papers scattered on the floor. He tried to take deep breaths, but they kept coming up short. He hadn’t left Pendragon, hadn’t fought battles, hadn’t mourned for the siblings he had lost just to lose more. Lelouch was sure that life had already taken everything that it could from him. He wanted Nunnally back with him desperately, he wanted her _safe_. But he had never thought that he would get her back at the cost of something else.

He wanted his sister back, but he didn’t want to pay another personal price for it.

Lelouch raked his hands through his hair, pacing the space that the table had once occupied in short steps before he turned and walked back to his bed.

He sank down onto the edge of it, staring down at the floor as he tried to work his way out of the trap that had fallen open in front of him.

He needed Suzaku for the army that the man brought with him, for his knowledge of Japan and for the reprieve that it would offer Britannia. Lelouch had been ready to throw anyone on the throne of Japan, just as long as he could trust them not to rush in while Lelouch chased his father down and dismantled the empire. His original plan had been harshly altered after getting to know Suzaku, because he could trust Suzaku. Out of everyone he had met on the Japanese side, he could trust Suzaku.

Except that it couldn’t work like that because… _“I get to die.”_

Lelouch dropped his head into his hands, staring at the floor as he gave up working on the problem.

Everything was starting to make sense now, a horrible sort of sense. Suzaku had always pushed him back in Pendragon, almost like he had been daring Lelouch to go too far. He had thrown himself in front of assassins for no real reason that Lelouch had been able to work out. Suzaku had always been the first to push into the fray as soon as a fight was inevitable. Lelouch had always thought that it was Suzaku’s training or a desire to get back to Japan, but he had been so horribly wrong.

The worse part was that he couldn’t even begin to figure out why.

The official news was that Genbu Kururugi had committed suicide, although that had never made sense considering the soldiers that Sawazaki had sent to Britannia. Lelouch had been willing to accept the lie because it was obvious that the new shogun hadn’t wanted to spread the word that the shogun had been assassinated, especially with Itsukushima still fresh in everyone’s mind. Why Suzaku had been brought to Britannia was still an open question, one with too many answers. It was obvious that he had been brought to push him over the edge or so that Kirihara could play both sides. Lelouch had thought that it was the end of it, but there had been more, and he had been too caught up in everything to really think about what it would have mean to Suzaku to see his dynasty fall and not be able to do anything about it.

Lelouch pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, not bothering to look up as he heard someone enter the room. If it was Gino or Rivalz they would have the sense to leave him alone. Lelouch doubted that any of Suzaku’s generals would want to seek him out, they would be too busy talking with Suzaku about the way he had bent so easily to all of Lelouch’s demands. But it had been easy for Suzaku, he wouldn’t be around for the consequences.

He tensed at the sound of shoes scuffing on the stone floor. Lelouch took a deep breath and looked up, watching as C.C. made her way around the mess of papers on the floor. She paused where the map was half buried under all of his other papers. C.C. cocked her head to the side before stooping to pick it up.

C.C. held the map up in the light of the room before she looked over at him. Lelouch could tell the moment whatever joke she had been planning drop away at the sight of his face.

She rolled the map up in her hands as she walked over.

She sat down without an invitation, Lelouch scooting over to give her room. He was careful to leave space between them, not sure if he even wanted her there in the room. There were times that she could be helpful, but more often she pointed out things that he didn’t want to acknowledge. He wasn’t in the mood for her harsh truths.

He dropped his head down further, curling his fingers into his hair. Lelouch took a deep breath, trying to force his thoughts into some kind of pattern instead of the same circle it had been since the meeting had ended. He closed his eyes, digging his fingers into his scalp to try and get some of his focus back.

He was allowed a few blessed moments of peace before he felt C.C. shift. She moved closer to him, leaning her shoulder against his. It was too easy to lean into her, Lelouch lifting his head slightly.

Lelouch watched her out of the corner of his eye, but C.C. didn’t look at him. She just unrolled the map on her lap and started tracing her fingers over it. He noticed that he fingers tended to linger on the hills between Britannian and Japan. He watched as she dragged her fingers over where Aries Fort was before she pulled them away. “I didn’t know you wanted Aomori.”

“I don’t.” Lelouch looked at the map, looking at the awkward Britannian spelling of the name. “I just needed to establish a barrier state or to assert my authority.”

“Or?”

“I don’t know.”

C.C. hummed, the sound not what he was expected. He expected to be mocked for not knowing what he was doing. After all, this was everything that he had planned for seven years. It was something that he should have known.

Her fingers tapped against Aomori before she slid them down to Edo.

Lelouch intended to just watch her, but he couldn’t help but flinch when she ran across Edo. There was no way that she couldn’t have felt it with the way that their shoulders were pressed together,

C.C. kept quiet as she rolled up the map and set it to the side. She dropped her hands into her lap, folding them carefully. “It’s not the time to be indecisive.”

“I’m not being indecisive.”

“You don’t want Aomori. You haven’t declared yourself emperor. From what I’ve seen, you don’t have a plan for going after your father, wherever he’s gone.”

“Japan. He’s gone to Japan.”

C.C. nodded slowly. “It sounds like something Charles would do.”

“I know what he wants to do.”

“And you know what you have to do, but you’re hesitating. Why?” C.C. turned to look at him, Lelouch feeling the mattress shift as she moved. She rested one of her hands on his own, giving it a quick squeeze. “Lelouch?”

“I’m not hesitating! I’m doing what I need to do!”

She squeezed his hand again, Lelouch sure that it meant that she didn’t believe him. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t believe himself either.

He took a deep breath, about to order her out of the room. If all she was going to do was insist that he had work to do then he could do it better without her hanging around. She might have some insight, but he wasn't ready to hear it. Maybe when he went over the plans with Suzaku and his generals he would invite her along but, until then, he wanted to work on his own. It was better that way. It had worked before.

“What’s wrong?”

Lelouch tried not to wince at the question, but he was sure that she picked up any movement that he did. She sat still beside him, the silence between them probably an invitation to talk, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t think he could manage to explain everything about what was bothering him, and that annoyed him almost as much as the realization that he had wanted Suzaku to stick around did.

He shook his head, surprised when C.C. let go of his hand to wrap her arm around his shoulder. He went stiff as she pulled him closer, her hand rubbing up and down his shoulder. “You aren’t your parents.”

“What?”

C.C. gave him a long look, one that would have been annoyed if he didn’t know her better. She raised her eyebrows before looking away. “If you love something, you keep it at a distance. To keep it safe, you send it away. Or that’s what your mother and father said. But you’re not either of them.”

“So what?”

She shook her head, lifting her hand from him to ruffle his hair fondly. It was a move that she had done when he was little, and he had never appreciated it then.

He reached up to smooth down his hair, glaring at her as she laughed. “I don’t have time for your cryptic sayings.”

“You never have time for them, which is why they’re so fun to give to you.”

“I have a campaign to run.”

“Then you’d better be out talking to your generals and the shogun instead of closing yourself up in here.”

“I can’t!” Lelouch stood up, not bothering to try and loom over her. It had never worked in arguments. She was unflappable as the famous hill horses. C.C. just crossed her arms and stared him down as he took a step forward. “Suzaku will give me anything I ask for because it doesn’t matter for him. None of this matters because he’ll just throw his life away!”

C.C. tipped her head to the side, seeming to consider his words “And this matters?”

“Of course it does! He’s my partner in this. Without him I won’t be able to hold Japan! I won’t be able to find Nunnally! Without him I won’t…it wouldn’t…” Lelouch struggled through the words, trying to put them in an order that made any kind of sense, but he couldn’t. They were a mix of tangled emotions that he couldn’t begin to piece through himself. He just knew that, somehow, Suzaku had slipped into the ranks of those he considered important.

He clenched his jaw, stopping himself before he could babble anything else to C.C. He settled for giving her a sharp look, not surprised when C.C. just continued staring at him.

The standoff continued for a moment longer before she nodded, like she understood everything that he couldn’t say. C.C. reached out to touch his arm, holding onto it. He was at a loss to what she was trying to convey to him, especially when she lifted her hand away. “You’ll figure it out.”

“That’s not helpful.”

“I think I’ve been helpful enough. I got you Leila and the others.” She gave him a long look before shrugging. “Just remember that you can’t solve everything.”

“That’s less helpful.”

“Consider it sage life advice.” C.C. grinned at him before turning on her heel and heading for the door. She raised her hand and waved him on. “If you’re not going to talk, then I can’t help.”

“With more of that?”

That got a laugh from her, C.C. looking back over her shoulder at him. Lelouch relaxed at her knowing look, too used to the way C.C. was to be surprised by the relief. At least she wouldn’t leave him alone to struggle through the campaign in Japan. He could always count on her, for all the strange things that she could manage to do. It was almost enough to make him believe in all the stories that called her a witch, but he knew better. C.C. was just C.C.

He turned away from her, listening as she made her way to the door. She would probably go to talk to Leila and the others in anticipation of whatever plan he came up with.

Lelouch glanced at the map still on the bed, his gaze lingering on Japan. He couldn’t just stop, not when he was so close to finishing all of his plans. The problem was that Suzaku had complicated things. If he’d never known Suzaku, he would have probably figured out a way to kill the man when he had entered Japan. If he had managed to continue hating Suzaku, he probably would have figured out a way to get rid of Suzaku on the campaign. It might have been easier that way, but that hadn’t gone according to plan.

Despite his attempts to continue hating Suzaku, it hadn’t worked once he’d gotten to know the man. And now Suzaku occupied a strange empty place that Lelouch had open. If he had ever seriously considered having a knight, Suzaku would have been his first choice. But that was something that would have to remain a dream. Suzaku was the shogun of Japan, it was only right that he be returned to his throne. It was important for all of his plans that Suzaku was.

Lelouch curled his fingers into a fist, taking a deep breath. It was what he would have to do, half imagined dreams or not. To accomplish that, he would have to watch Suzaku carefully because he couldn’t have the shogun dying on him. He couldn’t have Suzaku dying on him.

He closed his eyes, lingering on the idea of keeping Suzaku close and safe one last time before letting it go. There might have been a chance for that before, but the two of them had missed it. What remained were probably a few moment to enjoy, but they would be fleeting. It was time to stop hiding from his father.

It was time to go to war.


	27. Sacred

Suzaku wasn’t sure they had time for all of this pomp and circumstance. Both of their armies were camped out just outside Bartley Asprius’ castle, which was closer to the border than anywhere else. He was sure that the sight of a joint Britannian and Japanese army was enough to intimidate the nobleman, but Suzaku couldn’t figure out why cowing Bartley was worth the trouble. If Bartley had been that influential, he would have been at the royal court instead of tucked away in his castle.

He drummed his fingers against the katana at his side, almost missing the sound that his fingers would have made on a Britannian sword. The machinations of the Britannian court still might not have been clear to him, but Suzaku understood half the reason for the celebration at least.

With all of the royal heirs gone and the emperor himself somewhere on the ocean there was a lot of uncertainty in Britannia. There hadn’t been enough time for rumors to make their way around an encourage Areas to start breaking off, but Suzaku was sure that people were waiting for the other boot to fall.

The Knight of One, the most awarded man in Britannia had been killed in battle. Schneizel, Cornelia and Euphemia were gone, and it was only because he had heard the news from Kanon and Nina that he knew that the three of them were alive.

No matter what information could be had, the whole empire was reeling, and someone had to act to keep things together. And that was exactly what Lelouch was doing. The prince had already sent messengers to all corners of the kingdom with his news of the victory and the news that he had managed to frighten out of Bartley. It was a sordid tale of scheming and treachery that Suzaku was sure would shock even the Britannians.

Lelouch’s message was clear, Charles had abandoned them all for his dreams of grandeur and was could no longer be considered to be acting for the people. Lelouch was stepping into his father’s place in all but name. The title of emperor had yet to be spoken but Lelouch himself, but there were plenty of others that would say it for him.

He was startled out of his thoughts when Kallen ducked into his tent. He turned to face her, taking in the armor that she wore. From the dust on it and the grin on her face he could tell that she had been participating in the games that were going on. Lelouch was carefully toeing the line between coronations games and ones held in celebration of a victory, but Suzaku was sure that no one was going to call him on it, especially since it seemed to be helping the soldiers of the two armies come together. Suzaku had already seen Tamaki being carried off on the shoulders of Britannians and Japanese alike after his win in archery. It had almost been enough to make him laugh because the man had looked so shocked at his victory, but then he had looked at Lelouch, and he hadn’t had the stomach for celebrations anymore.

They hadn’t talked in the days since Narita outside of official meetings. Lelouch didn’t even look at him anymore. It was like his first days in the palace, being dragged around to where Lelouch was just for show.

Suzaku watched as Kallen flung herself down onto one of the camp stools that had migrated into his tent. He didn’t bother to look annoyed that she hadn’t asked for his permission. It was easier to be informal with her than Tohdoh, and he found he preferred it. Months without formalities with Lelouch had just made what impatience he had for them worse.

Kallen fanned herself with a hand, grinning all the while. Suzaku looked her over, debating over the outcome of her match before raising an eyebrow. “You won?”

“No. Gino did, by a quarter of a lance.” She sat up slightly. “But he had to _work_ for it. It showed the rest of them up too. Jeremiah was off stewing the entire time.”

Suzaku looked over the pieces of Kallen’s borrowed armor, tempted to ask if she had taken it from a Britannian friend or if she had used her brother’s armor. The question wouldn’t have been well received, so he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he steered her to a safer topic. “Are we winning?”

“We’re evenly matched, damn them.” Kallen didn’t look too disappointed, the wide smile still on her face. “I think Asahina and Rivalz are _still_ going, neither of them want to lose face, not with Kinoshita and Milly watching. Songs are being composed as we speak.”

“Really?”

Kallen nodded, glancing over at the uneaten tray of food on the table. Suzaku fully expected her to pick through it, but she just picked up an apple and rolled it around in her hands. “Ohgi won the horse race, but he missed on their ring spearing sport.” Kallen fumbled with a phrase for a moment before waving her hand dismissively. “Then the woman who came second to him just walks up bold as brass and demands to have something of his. He’s so shocked that he takes his _hachimaki_ off and gives it to her. This woman ties it around her arm and rides off to win the event and all the Britannians are laughing at him.”

She threw the apple up in the air, catching it easily. “Apparently the tradition here is to ride with a favor from someone you admire. Everyone does it, even married people. You wear it in the open and everyone knows you ride for their honor or because you want to fuck them. Anyway this woman…Villetta, has been wearing it all day to _every_ event she goes in.”

Kallen cackled, too caught up in Ohgi’s accidental conquest to notice the way that his hand jerked up to his neck. Suzaku stopped it before he could close it around the collar that wasn’t there.

It had never been a favor from Lelouch, it had just been a symbol of his servitude, but he could clearly remember the last time Lelouch had touched it, while they had been tangled in bed together. The night before Lelouch had ridden off for Narita and Tohdoh had ridden into Babel Fort.

 _“They say Lancelot wore the favor of his king and queen all his life, one on each arm, neither higher than the other. In his armor and out of it. Everyone looked and they just_ knew _who Lancelot had given himself to, heart and soul.”_

Lelouch had rolled over and kissed him then, silencing whatever conversation would have come up to tumble him onto his back and take him again.

Suzaku swallowed, curling his hand into a fist by his side. Suddenly he wasn’t in the mood to listen to how well they were doing in the games, not when it just reminded him of the empty space at his side.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, not daring to look at Kallen when he opened them. “What do you want, Kallen?”

He heard the smack of the apple as it hit her palm again, and then a crunch as Kallen bit into it. “Tohdoh sent me to get you. Apparently something important is happening and you’re needed, _shogun_.”

Suzaku carefully ignored her stress on the word. He didn’t think he could win an argument against Kallen in the first place. The woman was nothing like Lelouch, but she had a sharp tongue, one that couldn’t be avoided. If she couldn’t win, then she was sure to make you regret picking an argument with her. It was easy to see why Gino was fascinated with her, Kallen had the fire to keep up with him step for step, which was something that Suzaku had never seen anyone else do.

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. If he was going out to the celebrations again, then he needed to be focused on what he was doing. He took another deep breath, steadying himself for the inevitable when he walked out to the space cleared for the celebrations. If he was being summoned, then Lelouch would finally be making his move. The announcement of their alliance at this point would be superfluous, everyone there knew that Lelouch had allied himself with Japan, but it was just another grand gesture and Lelouch loved those above all things.

He dropped his hand to his swords, running his fingers over the end of them. “If I’m summoned, that means you’ll have to come too. Lelouch goes nowhere without his captains.”

Kallen made a vague sound of agreement as she took another bite of the apple. Suzaku didn’t wait to hear the rest of her response, he just strode out of the tent. From the clatter of armor, he could hear that she was following him.

He scanned the crowd of people around the tents, picking out knots of soldiers drinking together or quickly outfitting each other for the next event. Lelouch had decreed that anyone who was willing could participate, a severely tempting idea. It had been a while since Suzaku had sparred with a katana and there were plenty of soldiers from Lelouch’s troop that he wanted to challenge again, but he wouldn’t allow himself to do it. It wouldn’t do for his troops to see their leader defeated, so he had kept himself aloof at least until being by Lelouch and his empty smiles had been too much.

Tohdoh was easy to pick out of the bunch, the man standing in perfectly arranged formal attire, not a fold out of place. As always, there was one of his trusted lieutenants beside him. Chiba was with him today, as she had been more recently. Suzaku was sure that there was something in that, but he didn’t quite want to work it out. Tohdoh would always be his mentor, much more of a father figure than Genbu had ever been. And there were some things that he didn’t need to know.

Instead, he smiled and nodded at Tohdoh. “Asahina still busy?”

“He’s still running himself into the ground, yes.” Tohdoh didn’t smile, but there was amusement in his voice. “I think the two of them will achieve their aim, just not in the way that they imagined.”

Suzaku wanted to chuckle at the statement, but he found that his throat had gone dry. Instead, he tipped his head to the side, acknowledging the statement. That seemed to be all that Tohdoh was waiting for because the general went quiet and fell back into his usual place. Suzaku ignore the gap at his side that the move left, it wouldn’t be filled anytime soon. Lelouch might stand his presence when they were working together, but not in their free time. Then Lelouch was too busy working on his plans for the march into Japan and to counter his father.

Besides, it was easier to deal with Lelouch in short bursts, because it meant that he wouldn’t have the time to slip up and forget who they were again.

He shook his head to clear it, wanting to present nothing more than the amiable face that everyone expected. Suzaku suspected that he wasn’t as good at acting as everyone allowed him to believe, but at least it was better than showing the convoluted mix of emotions that he was feeling.

He perked up slightly when the four of them came into view of the space that had been set aside for competitions. The ground had been churned up into a dusty mess by the hooves of the horses and the feet of the people who had competed. He looked around for Asahina and Rivalz, but the two of them must have reached the end of their match. Suzaku was sure that he would hear about it soon enough.

Suzaku turned his gaze to the pavilion that had been set up at the end of the arena. Three of the sides were tied back, allowing Lelouch to look out on the celebrations for him. Fancy, indirect title or not, people knew what they were witnessing. Lelouch might have lacked the grand cathedral and ritual, but he was emperor just as much as his father had been before Charles had stepped too far. But Lelouch would toe that line easily.

He saw Lelouch’s head jerk slightly at the sight of him, Suzaku bracing himself for what would happen. As always, there was a brief pause, then, Lelouch rose and spread his arms. “Lord Kururugi! I had wondered where you had gone off to.”

Suzaku flashed Lelouch a smile, sure that Lelouch could tell that it was fake. “I had something I had to look into.”

Lelouch nodded, turning his spread arms into a gesture towards the seat beside him. “Everything alright.”

“For now.” The two words were spoken for Lelouch’s ears. Suzaku watched Lelouch’s smile waver, but it didn’t disappear.

Suzaku sunk back into his seat, watching as Lelouch did the same. He carefully didn’t look back at Lelouch, glancing at the empty field. “What’s next?”

“Nothing. We’re nearly done with the games.”

“Then what?”

“Then we go to war.” Lelouch’s smile was predatory, but it only lasted a moment. The prince cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. “Of course, this was all just to show that we are allies.”

“No, this is a celebration for you.”

“Is it?” Lelouch tipped his head to the side, studying him closely.

It took everything that Suzaku had not to lean closer to Lelouch. It was obvious that Lelouch was still working on a plot and Suzaku wanted to know what it was.

Lelouch rested a hand on the armrest of his throne, Suzaku staring at the miniscule space between them. It would be so easy to cross it, but he didn’t dare. Lelouch may have started to be more open since Narita, but it still wasn’t an open invitation to the way that they had been. If anything, they pretended that in public. Suzaku was sure that their generals saw the difference, but the soldiers didn’t seem to notice. All they saw were two leaders promising them everything that they wanted. Charles and his endless, punishing wars would stop and Lord Sawazaki would be pushed from the throne.

Suzaku was jerked out of his thoughts when he saw two men approaching. He raised an eyebrow at the two Britannian soldiers as they knelt before the two of them. The two of them raised two boxes, Suzaku staring at them until Lelouch stood up.

The crowd went silent, Lelouch commanding their attention as he stood up from his throne. He stepped out from under the cover of the pavilion. A subtle gesture had Suzaku following amid cheers. He was surprised to hear his name being chanted along with Lelouch’s. Suzaku spared a quick glance over at Lelouch, watching the prince soak up the attention.

The victorious expression on his face lasted a moment before it became serious. He turned back towards the two kneeling soldiers, moving around to the one in front of Suzaku. When Lelouch spoke, it was loud enough for everyone to hear, but he was acting like it was just the two of them.

“I can’t give you _Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi_ , _Yata no Kagami_ or _Yasakani no Magatama_. Those are beyond my reach, but I can offer something in the interim, a symbol of our alliance.” Lelouch flicked the lid of the box up.

Suzaku was still reeling from Lelouch’s casual mention of the Imperial Regalia. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask Lelouch how he would know about them, but he almost knew the answer. Lelouch had probably looked it up just for this moment, to show off for the Japanese soldiers and Suzaku’s generals. And, from the quick glance that he threw at the crowd, it was working.

He was shogun in name only and only then because of his father’s proclamation when he had reached his majority. He hadn’t gotten the chance to carry the imperial regalia from where it was stored safely in the Kururugi Shrine to the Chrysanthemum Throne in the shogun’s mansion to present them to the empty throne. There, he would repeat the vows that his ancestor had made to the last emperor and promise to look after the land. Until he did that the title was nothing more than a show of respect.

He swallowed and looked down into the box, his eyes widening. Nestled calmly in the velvet was a coronet, the jewels winking in the sunlight.

Suzaku reached in to lift the coronet from the box, hearing the intake of breath from everyone around. He was sure that they were awed by what they saw, and he was right there with him.

The coronet wasn’t distinctly Britannian, it looked like a mix of old styles and intricate gold work. Suzaku twisted it in his hands, staring at the design that he could see. He was sure that it was a peacock, but the jewels weren’t the usual blue, greens and purples that he expected. They blazed red, orange and white in their gold settings. Suzaku was sure that the jewels were newly set for one purpose, to make the bird and the feathers curled around the coronet less like a peacock and more like a phoenix.

He glanced over at Lelouch, letting the prince take the coronet from his hands. Suzaku waited for an explanation, surprised when Lelouch tipped his head. “Down.”

Suzaku started at the order, but he moved carefully. He didn’t dare to kneel, not when it would give Lelouch the advantage. He dropped just low enough for Lelouch to settle the coronet on his head.

He tried his best not to shiver as Lelouch’s fingers brushed over the sides of his head. Suzaku was sure that he felt Lelouch’s fingers curl in his hair for a moment before they were gone. Then Lelouch was turning away from him, taking the smile that was on his face and presenting it to the crowd. “A crown for the promise of a throne.”

The coronet might have been more in the style of Britannian rulers, but it pleased his people. Suzaku stared in awe at the roars that came from the crowd. He stole a glance at where Tohdoh and Kallen were standing, surprised to see that they were nodding their approval. Suzaku assumed that they were just happy for a visual sign of his status.

He resisted the urge to reach up and touch the coronet, Suzaku looking at the second box. He stepped over to it, opening it up only to find an almost plain looking circle.

Suzaku reached in to hold up the circle, turning it in his hands. Gold and a silvery metal were woven together in a braid, the braids coming to an end in caps that looked almost like dragons. Suzaku turned the circle in his hands, catching the v-shaped sweep of lightning that was Lelouch’s sigil repeated on the dragons and on the twists of the braid. He ran his fingers over the twist, looking back at Lelouch.

The prince just smiled at him, dropping down slightly. It was obvious what Lelouch wanted him to do, a shared coronation for the sake of their alliance. Suzaku swallowed and stepped forward to rest the circle on Lelouch’s head when the prince tipped his head back. He stared at the pale skin bared to him, unsure of what Lelouch was asking him to do. It wasn’t until Lelouch cleared his throat that Suzaku looked up to meet Lelouch’s eyes.

“The torc goes around my neck.”

Suzaku froze, staring down at the torc in his hands. “Lelouch…”

Lelouch just raised an eyebrow, the order explicit even when unspoken. Suzaku shifted his hold and carefully slipped the torc around Lelouch’s neck. He dropped his hands away as quickly as possible, not wanting to give himself the excuse to linger on Lelouch’s skin.

The prince didn’t seem to notice, Lelouch getting to his feet and turning to look at his people with a grin. Suzaku expected shocked silence, but everyone erupted into cheers. He glanced over at Lelouch, watching as the prince smiled and reached up to touch the torc. “A crown didn’t seem fitting since I’m not technically emperor.”

“It’s a slave collar.” Suzaku kept his voice low, not wanting to look like he was insulting his ally.

Lelouch chuckled and shook his head. “It’s old, the Britannians used to wear this before the Romans came. It mean nobility until the Romans transformed it into the slave collar.” Lelouch paused, a slow smile crossing his face. “But you’re right, it is a slave collar. Didn’t you wonder what happened to yours?”

Lelouch turned and walked back into the pavilion before Suzaku could really digest what Lelouch said. He could only stare at the sun winking off gold and iron twined around each other.

He remembered Lelouch whisking his collar away and remaining behind with the smith, which meant that Lelouch had planned this from the start. He had taken the slave that his father had forced on him and turned him into an ally. The collar had become his crown. It was strangely fitting even if it made his stomach twist delightfully. He wanted to drags his lips and tongue over where skin met gold and iron, but he held himself back.

It wasn’t like that between them anymore. Suzaku wasn’t sure if they’d had a chance or when it had fractured. All he knew that they were left with their alliance, which was more than Suzaku had ever expected.

He tore his gaze away from Lelouch, smiling at the cheering crowd as he retreated to his throne beside Lelouch. It was easy to focus on the crowd, but he found himself watching Lelouch out of the corner of his eye and the sight of twined gold and iron against pale skin.


	28. Rain

Suzaku grunted as he swung his sword down, not letting himself linger over the movement before going into the next one. It wasn’t the careful, precise movements of the _kata_ that Tohdoh had taught him. Suzaku doubted that it could even be called a _kata_ anymore; he was just slashing at the air as he tried to work through the anger that was boiling through his veins.

He had known that Charles zi Britannia was in Japan. The man had left Britannia after the murder of his children and it wasn’t too hard to figure out where he had gone. As far as Charles had known, Guinevere was the only princess remaining, so it would make sense for him to go to her. Charles probably wanted to take care of any lingering business with Japan. Suzaku was sure that the former emperor meant to pull Japan into the fold, especially since the news of his and Lelouch’s movements had to have reached Edo by now.

The threat of rebellion was enough to make any leader quake, but the fact that he was bringing the might of Britannia with him was enough to excite panic. But it was never enough to make a leader turn against their own country.

Suzaku turned and slashed down again, the motion less a move for the katana and something more for the Britannian longsword. He didn’t care, it was more important to lunge into the next move. He had to keep moving so he could banish the images of the houses on fire and the bodies that had been strewn out in the open. Even the sight of the dead soldiers - an obvious sign that the villagers had fought back instead of just allowing themselves to be slaughtered – hadn’t helped. His stomach still turned at the memory of the five fish scales of Lord Sawazaki’s _kamon_.

The shogun was supposed to see to the good of the common people. It was what Kururugi Kamenosuke had promised Emperor Ginjiro on his deathbed; that he would hold Japan together until the emperor’s son could be found. When the young man had turned up dead, Kamensouke had continued his control of the country in the name of the beloved last emperor. It was in the oaths that they swore when coming to the throne. It was in the oaths that Tohdoh had made him repeat during their training. It was because he kept his oath that the great hierarchy of the country was kept in place, which meant that the great hierarchy of the world was stable. Even more than that, they were supposed to protect their people.

And Lord Sawazaki had just slaughtered a whole village to send a message to him.

He swung his sword out again, screaming in anger as he swept it around. The katana nearly tipped out of his hands, Suzaku getting a better grip on it even as he swung the katana out in another strike. It carved through the air, Suzaku using the force to bring the katana back under his control. From there it was another cut, downward this time, to bring the sword completely back into his hands.

Suzaku sucked in a quick breath, pivoting as he reversed direction. He swung the katana back up, jerking the quick motion to a stop when he saw someone approaching him out of the corner of his eye. He gritted his teeth as he shoulders protested the move, but he held himself firm, staring at the tip of the katana just inches from Lelouch’s throat.

The prince didn’t look too alarmed to be staring down the blade of a sword. Lelouch just raised an eyebrow, sparing a glance down at the katana. He reached out to rest his fingers on the flat of the blade, gently pushing it down.

Suzaku took a step back, lowering the sword but not putting in back in its sheath. He stared at Lelouch before shaking his head. He didn’t have the time or patience for the prince, especially after what he had seen. “Go away.”

He turned away from Lelouch, hearing the man huff. It was relief to be able to ignore the sound instead of rushing off to attend on whatever Lelouch needed him to. That was one of the perks of reclaiming his title, he could finally ignore Lelouch and the prince couldn’t be insulted. Suzaku took a deep breath and reined himself back into the strict forms of his _kata_. The anger was still there, boiling underneath the surface, but he was very aware of the fact that Lelouch was still watching him despite the request for him to leave.

Suzaku gritted his teeth and focused his attention back down on the movements of the sword. It wasn’t having its usual calming effect on his mind. The urge to speed up and slash at nothing was growing again, and Suzaku desperately wanted to indulge in it. He tensed, making himself work through each stroke. He tried to call to mind exactly what Tohdoh had told him when he had first been taught the moves, the laws that his father had drilled into his head or anything that wasn’t the horribly sprawl of bodies. Or blood spilling over the ground, over wooden floors, onto the hem and sleeves of his kimono as he drove the knife into his father’s stomach.

He shouted as he swung the sword out in a wild attack, only checking himself when he heard the sound of another blade being pulled out of a scabbard. Some part of his mind remembered that he wasn’t under attack, but it was instinct to turn and moving his sword to counteract the next attack.

He got a glimpse of amusement on Lelouch’s face before the prince was flicking his thinner sword out. There was the clang of metal on metal, Suzaku fully expecting Lelouch’s sword to snap. He saw the blade bend a bit, but then Lelouch was flicking the katana to the side with an easy move of his wrist.

Suzaku moved through the motion, coming up into a guard position as he watched the prince settle into one of his own. Lelouch flashed a smile at him before flicking his sword towards and then quickly away from his forehead in a salute. “When you are, Lord Kururugi.”

Suzaku bristled a bit at the title, almost ready to charge right in but he held himself back. This was Lelouch, and the prince fought like he planned. He could move his rapier quickly and Suzaku was sure that there was a knife waiting in the small of the prince’s back considering the way the man held his other hand. He tipped his head to the side, trying to decide if Lelouch would use the knife before shaking his head. “I’m not doing this.”

“Clearly you are.”

Suzaku lowered his sword, shaking his head. “I’m not fighting you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know I’ll win.”

“Will you?” He only had a moment to see the annoyance flash across Lelouch’s face, and then Lelouch was moving. Suzaku had the time to bring up his katana to block,

Lelouch’s rapier slid against the edge before moving away, Lelouch already lunging forward in an attack.

Suzaku sucked his stomach in, dropping his blade to knock Lelouch’s sword away. He stepped to the side, shaking his head as he watched Lelouch recover and fall back into the ridiculous looking position. Suzaku shook his head. “What are you doing?”

“Getting through that thick skull of yours.” Lelouch took a slow half step forward, a bit of hesitation in his gait. Suzaku prepped for another attack, flailing backwards when Lelouch suddenly charged forward in a series out lunges that drove him backwards.

Suzaku swept his blade out, using the flat side to catch and push Lelouch’s blade away. He glanced back up at the prince, catching another grin before Lelouch attacked again. “Apparently, this is the way to get through to you.”

He snorted and fell back into a comfortable position. Lelouch wasn’t giving him the time to talk him out of the folly, nor was he giving Suzaku the time to adjust to the fighting style. Suzaku narrowed his eyes, allowing Lelouch to herd him backwards.

It was nothing at the fighting style that he had tried to help Lelouch with while they were traveling, that had been some unholy combination of what he could do with a longsword and a katana. Lelouch had struggled with it, even when Gino had stepped in to teach something more orthodox. The two of them had eventually given up, but more because they had run out of time to train the prince than anything else.

He shook his head, blocking any strike that Lelouch threw at him while he tried to figure out exactly when to attack. He had only seen Lelouch fighting with the rapier a few times in Pendragon, but that had been in practice. The only other time had been when Lelouch had taken down Luciano, but that had been quick and vicious. Suzaku didn’t know what Lelouch would do when he was taking his time.

The next time Lelouch went to attack him Suzaku didn’t deflect but leaned into it. Lelouch’s forward motion came to a halt. Suzaku held him there just long enough to remind Lelouch that he could before backing away a step. “You usually do that just fine.”

“No, I don’t.” Lelouch feinted to one side before ducking under Suzaku’s guard to tap his side with the flat of his blade. He flashed Suzaku a grin. “Tohdoh gets more out of you than I do.”

“I’ve known him longer.”

“Favored noble?”

“Teacher.” He swung his katana around, humming when the tip nearly got tangled in the snarl of metal that made up the guard on Lelouch’s rapier. Suzaku took a few steps back, waiting for Lelouch to lunge at him again before turning. He watched Lelouch attempt to make up for the move, tempted to just sheath his sword and walk away. He didn’t want to talk about the village, he wanted to memorize every single face of every single villager that he had let down and carry with him. But it was hard to turn away from Lelouch.

It had been days since they had last talked, since Lelouch had treated him as anything more than Lord Kururugi. It was almost a relief to have the days before back, when he had been just Lancelot.

He shook his head, focusing on Lelouch again. “But you probably knew that.”

Lelouch huffed, rolling his shoulder before settling back into his stance. “I might have.”

It was the closest that Lelouch would admit to not knowing anything. Suzaku rolled his eyes. At least he knew that Tohdoh hadn’t sent Lelouch down to find him, and he doubted that Kallen would care. She was probably in the same rage that he was, although she wasn’t being bothered.

He tightened his grip on his katana, feeling his arms shake. He stepped back when Lelouch went for another strike, watching as the prince hesitated before shaking his head. “This is all because of the village.”

The katana dropped front his hands, Suzaku not bothering to pick it up. He wanted to turn and walk away, but he was sure that Lelouch would follow him until Lelouch had pushed to his heart’s content. He had wanted to speak to Lelouch again, but not about this. “Lelouch…”

If Lelouch caught the warning in his voice, the prince must have ignored it. Lelouch shrugged and slid his rapier back in his scabbard. “This is war, Suzaku. This happens.”

“It shouldn’t have! They shouldn’t have to pay for any of this. They weren’t involved!”

He halfway expected the laugh from Lelouch, but that didn’t make it easier to swallow.

Lelouch chuckled and shook his head. “This is war, Suzaku.”

“Not to them. This is between me and Sawazaki.”

“No it isn’t, not unless you plan to march into Edo and challenge him to a duel. Even then you won’t get a fair fight. He’s proven that by all his actions so far.”

“Fair fight or not, no one else would get hurt.”

Lelouch opened his mouth to shout again, but then he abruptly snapped it shut. Suzaku wanted to flinch back at the sharp look that he was given. He took a step back before giving into the urge to turn and walk away. He didn’t want to be figured out, he didn’t want Lelouch to try and convince him that this was all for the best. He knew what the prince would say.

The fact that the village had been all put to the sword was a tragedy. He didn’t need Lelouch to tell him that Sawazaki had been hoping to be able to blame the horror on Suzaku, because the village was so close to the border. It would be easy to tell the people in Edo and the surrounding prefectures that the northern lords had risen up and killed the people of the village for staying loyal to the true shogun instead of whatever pretender they had found. It was probably his only choice considering that the word was spreading like fire that Kururugi Suzaku was back from the dead. Sawazaki could announce that the real Kururugi Suzaku was buried with his father at the Kururugi shrine all he wanted, but Suzaku doubted that anyone would believe him.

They had won the northern prefectures already. More and more people were flooding to them as they moved away from Aomori-ken and through Fukushima-ken. From there were only two prefectures between them and Edo. Considering the rate they were closing the distance, Lord Sawazaki was right to worry, but that was still no excuse.

And there was no excuse for Lelouch to use the death of all those people as a rallying point for their case, but the prince would do it anyway.

He managed to get halfway out of the room before Lelouch managed to catch up with him. Suzaku felt Lelouch grab his wrist, trying to twist his hand to make the prince let go. To his surprise, Lelouch held on tightly. He gave Suzaku’s arm a hard tug, the move enough to get Suzaku to twist around slightly.

Suzaku turned to glare at the prince, the glare not doing anything to stop Lelouch from peering closely at him. The prince must have seen something because Lelouch shook his head. “It’s not your fault.”

Suzaku shook his head, not knowing how to respond to the simple statement because it wasn’t true. The Britannian rulers didn’t have to worry about keeping the balance of the world, they just had to make sure that their people didn’t rise up in rebellion. Suzaku doubted that Lelouch had ever been taken out among the people and really seen the way that they looked at him. He certainly hadn’t ridden out to defend cities from the pirates that sometimes raided up and down the coast. Lelouch couldn’t feel the same attachment, the same feeling of duty towards the common people.

Of course the village had been his fault, they had been depending on him for safety. Besides, he had found the scraps of a banner in the rubble, a banner that he hadn’t let Lelouch see. A banner with his phoenix.

Lelouch squeezed his arm, holding his gaze steadily. “If anyone is at fault, it’s Lord Sawazaki. He had the choice to keep others out of it, but he chose to try and bait us like this.”

Suzaku shook his head, surprised that Lelouch could have missed so much. Then again, he hadn’t told Lelouch about any of it. Even still, he was surprised that Lelouch hadn’t ferreted out that one secret.

Even if Sawazaki had been the one to make the decision, it was Suzaku’s fault that Sawazaki was in that position of power. If he hadn’t killed his father, then none of this would have happened. The people would have been safe, Nunnally would have been secure, Lelouch’s family would still be alive and Japan wouldn’t be in danger of becoming another Area of Britannia. Everything could have been prevented if he hadn’t killed his father.

Suzaku’s stomach twisted, the familiar feeling of disgust and nausea coming with the thought. Lelouch must have noticed, because the prince squeezed his arm again, but it was too much.

Suzaku reached down to peel Lelouch’s fingers off of him. He practically flung Lelouch’s hand away, storming out of the room. Suzaku thought he heard Lelouch start to call for him, but he ignored the sound.

He didn’t want to be around Lelouch, didn’t want to hear the prince try to comfort him because the words would all be empty. He didn’t want to hear any of his generals try to advise him what to do, because they didn’t know the extent of the problem. No matter what had happened, it was his fault in the end. He had killed his father in his childish rage just because he wanted to prevent people from dying, but people were still dying anyway. _More_ people were dying now, and more would die in this war against Charles and Sawazaki. Nothing that Lelouch could say would drive those deaths away, they would weigh on his conscious, more things that could only be wiped away by his death.

Those were all things that Lelouch wouldn’t understand, and Suzaku almost hoped that he never would. It was better to allow Lelouch to think that they were marching to Edo for a great victory. Suzaku even hoped that they would, because Sawazaki had proven that he was not right to lead Japan. Suzaku couldn’t think of anyone that was, but he was sure that there was no harm in passing the throne to Tohdoh. After all, it had been passed from the emperor to the shogun, it could be passed on again.

He would take the time to think on it later. His head wasn’t clear enough to really think over that decision. What he really wanted to do was turn around and go back to his _kata_ and blind strikes at the air, but he was sure that Lelouch would find him. He needed to be alone above anything else, which meant going to the last place that people expected to find him.

There was an entire village that had been put to the sword, and more bodies than they’d had time to deal with. Digging graves for the bodies wasn’t a full penance, but it was a good start.


	29. Distance

Suzaku wove his way through the streets of the village, ignoring the calls from the venders and the people celebrating around him. They were all busy snatching what happiness they could get from the festival before the worries of the upcoming war blew them away. It wouldn’t be hard considering the army that was camped just downriver. Suzaku was sure that the next day that would go back to their careful collaboration. Considering how close they were to Shimane-ken and Sawazaki’s ancestral home, Matsuejō, the people of the village were right to be cautious.

There were already plenty of rumors about the destruction that had been rained on Japan by Britannian soldiers, all of them bearing the lightning sigil of the eleventh prince. Everyone knew about the decrees that Sawazaki had put out demanding that Kururugi Suzaku be brought to Edo dead or alive and the matching ones for Lelouch. Everyone knew the destruction that the two armies were supposed to be causing, and none of them believed it.

Dead soldiers were found with the symbol of the emperor - the snake and the lion holding the crown between them – under their disguises. Villages were attacked at an impossible distance from where the army was traveling. Even the man that everyone from the villages reported at the head of the fake army was wrong, he wore the collars and cuffs that were associated with the slavery of the Roman Empire. Wherever Suzaku rode, he wore the crown that Lelouch had bestowed on him and people called him shogun and emperor.

Suzaku shivered at the idea, because it was simply too big. He had always known that he would be shogun, the one to protect the throne instead of aspire to it. The last son of the last emperor had died many years before he was born and he had no claim to the Chrysanthemum Throne. He was just its protector until someone more suitable was found, which wouldn’t be him. Suzaku would refuse that crown every time it was offered to him. He wasn’t worthy of it.

He slowed down as he started to move parallel to the series of bridges through the center of the village. He glanced over, not surprised to see them mostly empty. Everyone was starting to move towards the temple and the bamboo groves there or into the center of the village where all the food stalls and games were set up. Everyone would probably be focused on that part of the village until it got closer to the early hours of the morning.

Suzaku was sure that there would be people moving out beyond the lights to look at the two stars that the festival was in celebration of, but they would go out to the fields away from the river. Moving close to the river while being intoxicated or distracted by the sky above them would be dangerous. Suzaku was surprised that there weren’t some small barriers in place to prevent that sort of thing, but maybe they hadn’t expected to find people out on the bridges either.

Suzaku scanned over the three bridges, stopping when he caught sight of someone standing in the middle of one. They were staring up at the sky, although Suzaku wasn’t sure how much they would be able to see considering the bright lights from the rest of the village. From the way that they had moved away from the rest of the festival and had kept to themselves, they probably wanted to be left alone.

He could understand the urge, he wanted to get away from people for a little while longer, especially when they insisted on praising him for what he was doing. Suzaku couldn’t figure out how to tell them that he was making up for a mistake. He had managed to get half of the truth out to his generals, but they thought that he was making up for the fact that he hadn’t been able to save his father. They thought that he was helping break Britannia’s hold on Japan.

They were close to that end. All they had to do was capture Sawazaki and Guinevere. Once those two were contained, Charles would have no reason to remain in Japan. The council might want him there to fulfil whatever he had promised them, but they only had the power that the shogun granted them. Suzaku had trusted the five of them once, he wouldn’t be making that mistake again. He wanted to end the whole affair without a battle but, if he couldn’t manage that, he was sure that Lelouch would be able to beat his father. Once that was settled, Japan would be free. Suzaku couldn’t imagine Lelouch letting Charles get power back, which meant that Japan would have an ally. It was something that they desperately needed, especially with Europa always close to crumbling under Britannian pressure and the Chinese Federation actively trying to court Britannia’s favor.

Suzaku felt the weight of what they still had to do drag at him, and there was only one way to get it to stop. He could never forget about it, but it was easy to push it back into a manageable place. There would be a few guards around the camp, but Suzaku was sure that they wouldn’t question him beyond the usual checks. Then he could be left alone with his katana until he was sore and ready to fall asleep.

He went to walk past the bridge, pausing when he recognized the clothing. It wasn’t Japanese, most of the villagers and soldiers were in the best festival clothes that they could get together. The person on the bridge was wearing the closer fitting Britannian clothes and Suzaku spotted a glimpse of gold at the person’s neck.

His breath caught in his throat, Suzaku turning and walking onto the bridge before he really thought about what he was doing. He crossed to just before the halfway point, staring at Lelouch as the prince leaned against the railing.

Suzaku was still trying to get Lelouch’s name out when Lelouch turned to look at him. The prince stared at him for a while before giving Suzaku a fond smile, one that made his chest hurt. He couldn’t remember the last time Lelouch had looked at him like that and actually meant it. There had been similar looks in public, little things to sell the idea that the two of them were working together out of friendship. Suzaku was sure that there were rumors about how deeply their relationship ran, it was hard not to hear them while walking through the army.

It was hard not to hear them and _wish_.

“Suzaku.” The sound of his name drew him forward, Suzaku just barely stopping himself from reaching out and touching Lelouch.

If Lelouch noticed, he didn’t seem to care. The prince practically swayed into Suzaku before he moved back the other way. The motion brought a whiff of alcohol with him.

Suzaku sighed and reached out to touch Lelouch’s shoulder, just to keep the prince steady. He’d only seen Lelouch drunk one other time, and that had been when they had first met. This time it didn’t look like a purposeful thing. Suzaku didn’t think that Lelouch needed to be drunk to be face him, but he could be wrong. Lelouch had sought him out a few times, just enough for Suzaku to remember that they had once been friends.

He squeezed Lelouch’s shoulder before he could stop himself, surprised when Lelouch just leaned into the touch instead of pulling away. Lelouch whispered his name, reaching up to rest his hand on Suzaku’s, apparently intending to keep him there. Lelouch shot him a quick look, almost like he was making sure that Suzaku would stay before leaning forward again. It was only when Lelouch had braced himself on the railing again that he seemed to realize what was going on.

“I think…I’m drunk.”

“You are. Very.”

Lelouch made a fact that could have been a wince, but the expression quickly smoothed out. “I blame C.C. And Tohdoh.”

“Why?”

“C.C. was teasing, and your general knows a lot about ancient battles. I spent an _hour_ talking about Emperor Caligula and the campaign that brought him to the hills. I think we debated the likelihood that he tried to fill the sea again. He told me a story about a woman hiding in a cave.” Lelouch paused before shaking his head, obviously trying to bring himself back around to the subject of the conversation. He didn’t quite manage it, his gaze drifting back towards the bright lights and paper decorations of the festival. “Tohdoh and Chiba are together. Did you know that?”

Suzaku nodded. He had suspected, but it had never been his business. If anything, he wished that he could be happy for Tohdoh, because the man deserved that much. He had served Genbu in all of his wars to settle Japan and then against Britannia at Itsukushima. He had held the border easily and then had his prefecture taken away from him. Suzaku wasn’t sure that a place on his hypothetical council was a fair trade, especially when it meant going back to the mess political intrigue that was Edo. If anything, Tohdoh deserved his own estate and the chance to pursue whatever form of retirement that he wanted, not another war and the eventual loss of the boy he had considered a son.

He licked his lips, purposefully looking away from Lelouch. “I knew it.”

“It’s horrible to watch. They’re both just pining, and C.C. was trying to get them to do something about it, I just know it.” Lelouch drummed the fingers of his free hand against the railing. “But she’s distracted like everyone else. I don’t blame them, we never get anything like this in Britannia.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You have to go far out to get this. In the cities it’s all,” Lelouch lifted his hand from the railing to gesture with it, “contained. Sometimes things get out of hand, but it usually ends badly. At least in Pendragon. This seems more alive.”

“You should get out of the city more.”

“I should have, but it was always so intimidating. It was easier to read about places, for what good that did.”

Suzaku hummed in a response, turning his gaze back towards the village. He followed the specks of bright color up to the temple, seeing the red of the _torii_ gate illuminated. Somewhere in the front of the temple precinct was a stand of bamboo, one with all the village’s wishes pinned on them. For the first time, there would be some Britannian wishes too, although Suzaku was sure that he knew what most of them were about. Soldiers didn’t change too much from country to country, and that was somewhat comforting.

He had been tempted to add his own wish to the others there, but he hadn’t dared to brave the crush. It had been fine earlier in the night, but listening to people address him with such wonder and respect had worn on him. He had just wanted to seek out the easy comradery of the soldiers, but even that was lost to him. He was their leader now, he couldn’t go back to the days when he could pretend that he was just another one of them. Maybe the only equal left to him was Lelouch, but he hated to pretend about that too.

Lelouch sighed and leaned more against him, Suzaku glancing over to make sure the prince was alright. Lelouch had moved his attention the festival to the stars above. He seemed to be scanning the sky like he was searching for something.

Suzaku shifted so he could look up as well. He lifted his hand and pointed at the two stars in the sky. “There they are.”

“Ah, I was wondering. Tohdoh told me about it. There’s a bunch of stories about a girl and her beloved being separated except for this time of year.”

“A weaver and a cowherd.”

“I heard a man and a goddess.” Lelouch shrugged the discrepancy off like it wasn’t a problem, which Suzaku didn’t mind. Whatever the story was, the end was the same; two lovers separated but the gulf of the sky, only to be together for a single day and night.

He tried his hardest not to cling to Lelouch’s shoulder, but he must have put some pressure on it because Lelouch turned to look at him. The prince studied him for a while before taking a step to the side and back.

The motion tugged him around until Lelouch was pinned back against the railing and Suzaku was standing in front of him. It was tempting to lower his hands to bracket them around Lelouch, but he didn’t move from where Lelouch had placed him. He kept his hand on Lelouch’s shoulder, carefully not curling his fingers into the fabric.

Lelouch didn’t seem to have the same problem. He smiled up at Lelouch, his fingers wrapping around Suzaku’s wrist. “They’re making wishes down there. Gino took me down before Kallen stole him away.”

“Was this before or after you got drunk?”

Lelouch frowned for a moment before he waved his free hand in a familiar motion that meant that the question wasn’t important. “Wanted to tell you about it, because it _matters_.”

“You wished for Nunnally.” It wasn’t a hard conclusion to reach, especially considering that Lelouch had dedicated the last seven years of his life trying to get her back.

To his surprise, Lelouch shook his head. “That’s achievable. Wishes are meant to be used for things you can’t do on your own.”

“So something big.”

Lelouch nodded slowly, his hand moving up Suzaku’s arm. Suzaku glanced down at Lelouch’s hand before he sighed and reached out to stop it. “Lelouch…”

“I wished for peace between Britannia and Japan. For everything we are trying to do to go right.”

“So a miracle?”

“Haven’t you heard? I’m good with miracles.”

Suzaku chuckled and shook his head. He let go of Lelouch’s wrist, preferring to slide his arm around Lelouch’s waist. It was easy to convince Lelouch to sling an arm over his shoulders, Suzaku taking the brunt of Lelouch’s weight. “Come on. We’ll see if you can pull off a miracle tomorrow morning.”

Lelouch grumbled something that Suzaku didn’t catch, but he stumbled along beside Suzaku easily. Suzaku suspected that Lelouch had been standing on the bridge for some time. It wasn’t the move he had expected from Lelouch, considering that Lelouch would have probably used the easing of tensions to interrogate his generals on something more than customs. Suzaku doubted that Lelouch ever really stopped planning, even when the prince had the time to relax.

It was easy enough to pick their way back to the camp. The portion of the village that was over the river was practically deserted for the festivities on the other side. The few people that were there were mostly weaving their way back to their homes. A few of them waved at them, stopping when they saw the gold collar around Lelouch’s neck. Suzaku wasn’t sure if they said anything, but they quickly moved out of their way with a quick bow.

Suzaku focused on getting out of the village and then over the uneven ground that led to their camp. He could see the winking of the fires for the soldiers who had come back early or remained behind. Every once and a while he could see a soldier making their way around the perimeter of the camp, Suzaku sure that it was a Britannian. Most of them hadn’t be so easily convinced to go to the festival, even with the promise of food and alcohol. Some of them were still generally mystified by the traditions of Japan.

He hitched Lelouch’s arm more comfortably around his shoulders, calling out a greeting to the guards as he stepped into the camp. They turned to stare at him before turning their shocked expression to Lelouch. Suzaku doubted that they had ever seen their prince drunk. Suzaku just offered them a sheepish smile before heading off to Lelouch’s tent. The guards didn’t bother to stop him, although they did talk. Suzaku was sure that they were adding to the usual rounds of gossip, which was easy enough to brush off.

The prince’s guard insisted that the two of them had fucked, which wasn’t exactly a lie. They just expected the relationship to continue, because it was obvious the two were on good terms. Suzaku was sure that there would be new stories coming out of the Tanabata festival. After all, the story lent itself to separated lovers and there was no stopping it from spreading, save for the fact that it wasn’t true.

Suzaku rushed through the camp until he got Lelouch to his tent. He ducked through the flaps, breathing out a sigh of relief when he saw that C.C. wasn’t lounging on the bed. He had doubted that she would have missed the chance to celebrate, but there was no telling with the woman. She moved in mysterious ways that Suzaku had stopped trying to predict. He was just relieved that she wouldn’t have to deal with her jokes and prying questions.

He carefully poured Lelouch into bed, freezing when he heard Lelouch speak into his neck. _“_ I miss you.”

Suzaku froze in place, staring at the prince in his arms. He was tempted to wrap his arms around Lelouch and pull him into a hug, but it wouldn’t be the right move. Lelouch would probably regret anything he did in the morning, and Suzaku was not about to push him to that point.

He shook his head, about to peel Lelouch from him when he heard the prince sigh. Lelouch pulled back enough to look at Suzaku’s face, his hand reaching up to cup Suzaku’s cheek. “I thought this would feel better. But it doesn’t.”

Suzaku leaned into the touch, allowing himself the moment. He wouldn’t allow Lelouch to push forward, but the touch was something that he could take for himself. He glanced up in time to see the smile that flitted across Lelouch’s face. If he tried hard enough, he could convince himself that they were back at Babel Fort the night before everything went wrong.

He sighed and nuzzled into Lelouch’s palm before he pulled himself away. Suzaku was almost sure that he had gone too far, but Lelouch was still staring at him with the same fond look. Suzaku stepped into Lelouch, pushing him back towards the bed.

Lelouch went willingly, his hands grabbing at Suzaku’s arms as he tried to pull him into bed. Suzaku locked his back and resisted. He shook his head at the disappointed look on Lelouch’s face. “You’ll regret it.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You would. Leave that until tomorrow.”

Lelouch huffed and rolled himself into his covers. Suzaku took that as his dismissal. Lelouch could pout all he wanted, but Suzaku wouldn’t deal with the prince until he was sober. Lelouch might want to duck back behind all his masks and schemes, but that wouldn’t matter because Suzaku knew something that could get him through the next couple of week son the march at least.

Lelouch _missed_ him.

He was sure that he had a grin on his face as he stepped out of the tent, something that would have the guards talking. Suzaku was sure that the rumor would be completely over exaggerated come morning. For some reason, the soldiers seemed to like the idea that his and Lelouch’s partnership extended to the bedroom as well as on the field. Suzaku didn’t want to think too hard on it, especially when the idea made him happy too.

Suzaku nodded at one of the guards that was patrolling, ignoring the man’s surprised look. There was no point in hiding where he was coming from, just like there was no point to hide where he was going. The urge work with his sword hadn’t disappeared, he needed the steady workout to help sort his thoughts out. He would need that if they were going to march to Shimane-ken in the upcoming week.

He tipped his head back to look at the stars, easily finding the two at the heart of the festival. He paused to stare at the two of them, some of the joy leaking from him. If the two lovers of myth could manage to meet once a year, then maybe the same could happen to him and Lelouch. It would only be just the once that the two of them could be together, but it would have to be enough. He would make it enough; one last bit of selfishness before the end came.


	30. Winter

Matsuejō’s corridors were hauntingly empty. Suzaku adjusted his grip on his katana, looking carefully down them. When the approach to the castle had been unchallenged he had been wary, but finding the castle completely empty was something that he had never expected. It was Sawazaki’s ancestral home, even if the man was spending most of his time in Edo. The man knew that they were coming, so he should have been ready to defend his castle, except that the whole place was abandoned. A voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Lelouch’s was warning him that it was a trap.

He slowed down, gesturing for the men following him to split up. He would comb through the castle and figure out why they hadn’t been challenged in what should have been a decisive battle. There would be some clue in the castle, because Suzaku was sure that Sawazaki wouldn’t lose face by making a full retreat from the one place that he should have defended, not without a good reason.

Suzaku continued down the corridor until he got to the center of the castle. He let his katana drop a fraction as he turned in place. He could hear the creak of boards as his and Lelouch’s troops moved through the castle, Suzaku held his breath, waiting for the sound of an ambush, but it never came.

He let out his breath in a rush, giving up and pushing his katana back into its scabbard. He still wasn’t completely sure that Sawazaki didn’t have people waiting for him, but he was already in the center of the castle and they hadn’t run into any defenders. Suzaku drummed his fingers against his swords, turning when he heard the doors to the room slide open.

Lelouch walked through the doors, giving the room a cursory glance before striding over to Suzaku. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t run into anyone either.”

“So he just abandoned the castle?” Lelouch frowned, one hand reaching up to trace the twists in his torc as he thought. “Why?”

Suzaku raised his shoulder in a shrug, glancing over at the soldiers that were dashing by the room. They slowed to shake their heads, meaning that the systematic clearing of the castle was going all too well. There was no one in Matsuejō and it was completely baffling.

Lelouch seemed equally as frustrated, because he jammed his sword back into its sheath. He motioned to some of his own guard, sending them out to join the effort. “Search everywhere. Someone has to be here.”

The hallways echoed with the sound of running soldiers, Suzaku giving up the task of trying to track them all. From everything that he had seen, they had taken the castle. But this was no victory, it felt more like a trap.

He joined Lelouch in pacing the borders of the room. The prince didn’t glance at him, Lelouch probably too busy trying to figure out where they had gone wrong.

As far as Suzaku was concerned, they hadn’t.

They had marched right the day after Tanabata, traveling the week between the border of Fukushima-ken and Shimane-ken as quietly as a large army could move. Their scouts had gone out daily and come back with the same news. The troops were still there, the household was still there. They couldn’t exactly be quiet, so Suzaku hadn’t been surprised when he had heard that the castle was being fortified. But none of that was still there. It was enough for Suzaku to consider that their scouts had been lying to them, but that was a horrifying idea. They would be relying on them as they marched to Edo and they didn’t have the time to be combing through their scouts for traitors.

He turned to look at Lelouch, about to air his worry when the prince stopped his pacing. Lelouch pivoted to look at him, his eyes wide. “He’s picking his battlefield.”

Suzaku nodded, surprised that he hadn’t thought about that. Then again, he tended use whatever battlefield that he was handed, it was more Lelouch’s style to scheme and maneuver to get the exact place that he wanted.

It was like Charles.

He clenched his hand into a fist, his stomach twisting. “At least we know whose pulling the strings now. Sawazaki would have remained behind and fought for Matsuejō, it was his family home.”

“Father couldn’t care less about family homes. We’re good at rebuilding.” Lelouch ran a hand through his hair, his fingers lingering on his torc before his hand dropped away. “But where would he pull back to.”

“Edo.” Suzaku practically whispered the name. Charles could order all he wanted, but Sawazaki wouldn’t abandon the capital and everything that came with it. Considering that Charles and his troops were probably already there, which meant that they had been fortifying the city the entire time they had been marching down.

He bit his lip, glancing around the room. Now that he knew where they had to aim he wanted to immediately ride out, but it wouldn’t be that easy. The closer they got to Edo the more resistance they would get. The northern prefectures might have come over to his side, but anything close to Edo would side with the shogun, no matter who he was. Rushing in would just waste men and time, giving Charles more time to prepare the land around Edo.

With that being the case, they would have to rely on whatever Lelouch came up with. The prince would know the twists and turns of a Britannian mind better than anyone else.

Suzaku reached out to catch Lelouch’s arm as the prince paced by, giving the arm a squeeze when Lelouch tried to pull away. “We’ll need a plan.”

The smile he got in return was slightly shaky. “I think I can manage that. I’ve been fighting against my father for years.”

Suzaku held back the comment that it had been through careful slights in court. The closest Lelouch had gotten to actually facing his father on the battlefield had been at Narita, and Lelouch hadn’t even been there.

He let go of Lelouch’s arm, about to call out the order for the men to regroup in the yard when Rivalz and another Britannian rushed into the room. The latter immediately dropped into a bow while Rivalz leaned on the doorframe, panting for his breath. It was Rivalz who managed to speak, the man gesturing over his shoulder. “Found orders…to fall back and defend Edo…but they left someone.”

Lelouch perked up at that. “Who?”

Rivalz shook his head. “Just brought the news. Back in one of the storehouses.”

Suzaku didn’t wait for anything else. He stepped around Rivalz and the Britannian soldier and took off at a run. It was an easy matter to sprint through the hallways until he reached the central courtyard of the castle. He scanned over the decorative trees and gardens, catching sight of people moving by one of the storehouses carefully hidden from view. Suzaku nodded and ran through the gardens, jumping over the carefully maintained beds to take the quickest route to the storehouse.

The soldiers milling around the storehouse snapped to attention as he came to a stop in front of them. A few of the Japanese soldiers bowed as he stumbled to a stop, but he was glad when Ohgi wasn’t one of them. Ohgi just nodded at him and stepped up to the storehouse. “We’ve kept a good watch on the place, but I don’t think there will be a problem.”

Suzaku didn’t ask for an explanation, watching as Ohgi pulled the doors open. He was quick to step into the space, his hand resting on the hilt of his katana.

He almost expected an attack, not the laughter that he heard from the storehouse. He waited for his vision to adjust to the light, straightening up slightly when he saw who was in the storehouse.

Princess Guinevere was reclining on a couch, her ladies all kneeling fearfully on the floor in around her. One had the courage to stand up with a knife held at the ready even as the others cringed back. Aside from the one brave lady, Guinevere seemed to be the only one keeping her head.

Suzaku took in the scene, trying to figure out why Sawazaki would leave his wife so unattended when he saw the bulge of Guinevere’s stomach. He stared at it in surprise, everything falling into place.

Sawazaki had been called back quickly, but there was no way that Guinevere could travel that fast, especially since she looked so close to her time. So he had left her behind with her ladies, only one of which looked like they had any training. Suzaku was almost sure that he saw Charles’ hand in this, because he doubted that Sawazaki would risk his tie to Britannia. Sawazaki wasn’t smart enough to challenge Charles, but he was smart enough to realize that he was better off with a tie to Britannian than without one, and he had already lost one princess.

Guinevere stared him down for a moment before her gaze jerked to something just over his shoulder. The look of amusement left her face for one of shock. “Little brother!”

Suzaku turned his head just enough to see Lelouch as the prince sidled up to him. From the way that Lelouch was panting, the prince had run after him. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch regretted the haste now, especially since he was facing down his older sister.

None of that registered on Lelouch’s face. He just inclined his head. “Guinevere.”

She gave him a long look over, Suzaku noticing how her gaze lingered on Lelouch’s torc. “I heard the rumors that you were coming here, but I almost didn’t believe them. After all, you wouldn’t willingly help Nunnally’s kidnapper. Would you?”

“I see your husband loves you dearly.”

Guinevere laughed, waving her hand. “Love has nothing to do with it. He needed to travel and I can’t. And now I find myself with the pleasure of entertaining my murderer of a little brother. Tell me, did you enjoy killing all of them? I’ve often thought about killing Schneizel myself. He was always so smug.”

Suzaku felt more than saw Lelouch flinch, their shoulders brushing against each other. He was tempted to reach out and support Lelouch, but the prince didn’t need that. Any weakness in the royal family was treated with scorn, and Suzaku didn’t think that he would be able to defend himself against Guinevere’s tongue. After all, her husband had left her with only one woman who knew how to defend herself, and her tongue was the only thing she had left. That didn’t stop him from subtly leaning into Lelouch’s shoulder.

Lelouch didn’t rise to her bait, even if it had hurt. He just lifted his chin slightly. “It looks like you have no choice. We can’t leave you here. Besides, I’m sure that Lord Sawazaki will be pleased to see you again.”

“He’ll be as pleased to see me as he will be to see your slave there. Or is he your slave? It looks like you’re the one wearing the collar.”

“At least I wasn’t left behind.”

The rejoinder was petty, but it meant something. Suzaku saw Guinevere twitch, her shoulders straightening for a moment.

She glared at her younger brother before putting a protective hand over her stomach. “It could have been worse. He could have continued his idiotic behavior and tried to defend the castle. He’s managed to develop some sense, unlike you.” She leaned forward slightly, Suzaku recognizing the smile that Lelouch had before he verbally eviscerated someone. “I had heard the rumors, but I didn’t think it was true. You fucked yourself into this alliance.”

Lelouch actually jerked forward at that, Suzaku quick to lock his fingers around the back of Lelouch’s belt. It didn’t help, because Lelouch had already reacted.

Guinevere tipped her head back with a laugh, her ladies looking confused by her amusement. She flicked her fingers at them in obvious dismissal, but her gaze didn’t move from Lelouch. “I would have never imagined, but you must have been desperate to consider him. Was this before or after you killed all of our siblings?”

That seemed to have broken what little resolve Lelouch had. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the storehouse. Suzaku could hear him practically hissing orders at the soldiers waiting outside, but Suzaku didn’t move out of the storehouse. He would hear about them eventually, someone was bound to try and double check them against him. Suzaku was more than willing to let Lelouch take the lead in this. Out of all of them, he would know how to handle his sister.

He glanced back at the princess, watching as she grinned at him, probably waiting for him to react. Her eagerness was almost laughable, because she was waiting for him to break. Apparently she hadn’t bothered to think that he was used to Lelouch at his most vicious. He had the scars on his back to prove that.

Suzaku eyed the women who were cowering around Guinevere, his gaze lingering on the one that was still standing defensively. He sighed and looked over his shoulder at where Rivalz was still hovering nervously. “Take the women into custody and keep them away from the soldiers. They should be treated with respect.”

He heard Guinevere laugh at the order, but it was easy to ignore the sound. It wasn’t their fault that the woman had been dragged into the situation, it was just what was expected of well born women. Suzaku was not prepared to drag them into their war.

He met Guinevere’s gaze, giving her a short nod. “And make sure that the princess is treated well.”

Rivalz saluted and moved off, Suzaku hearing him shouting out the orders. The women would be taken care of quickly, but Suzaku would wait for Lelouch to calm down before talking about what to do with his sister. It would be useless to try now because all Lelouch would want to do would be kill her.

The soldiers started to lead the women from the room, Suzaku watching as one of them carefully took the knife from the one defender. He nodded at them, giving Guinevere an odd look when the woman laughed.

She pushed herself upright, one of her hands resting on her stomach. “It’s a little early to be congratulating yourself on a victory.”

“It feels enough like one.”

“You are horribly naïve. I can see why he keeps you around. Just sitting here I feel smarter.”

Suzaku offered her a smile on his own. “Itsukushima.”

Guinevere’s face went red, her mouth opening and closing. Suzaku bowed to her in the Britannian style before turning on his heel and walking out of the storeroom.

He took a deep breath as soon as he was outside, glancing around at the soldiers that were standing by. They scattered quickly under his gaze, Suzaku slightly amused by how quickly they went back to work. The quiet castle had probably unnerved them just as much and they wanted to see what had been found.

Suzaku rubbed the back of his neck, his fingers automatically seeking out the callous that was there. He moved his fingers around the edge of the callous, pausing when he saw Lelouch lingering by the edge of one of the garden beds. He hesitated for a moment before heading over to where the prince was standing like a statue among the trees.

Lelouch didn’t seem to notice his presence, the prince was too busy staring off into the distance. One hand was wrapped around the torc he wore, Suzaku sure that Lelouch was going to tear it off. Suzaku wouldn’t blame him for it. Lelouch had probably meant to use the torc as a multilayered gesture, but no one got it. They saw gold around someone’s neck and thought it was a slave.

Suzaku cleared his throat, watching as Lelouch startled a bit. The prince turned to look at him, his hand dropping from the torc. Suzaku was sure that the move was deliberate, but he ignored it. “We’ve gotten Guinevere in custody.”

“You stay that like it’s a victory.”

“She said that same thing.” Suzaku tilted his head to the side. “Are all of your siblings like that?”

“Most of them. We snap when cornered.” Lelouch sighed and leaned his shoulder against one of the trees. Lelouch closed his eyes, Suzaku watching him breathe in and out slowly.

It was tempting to step forward and offer his support, but Lelouch probably wouldn’t accept it. Not after what Guinevere had taunted him with. Besides, Lelouch hadn’t invited a touch in weeks. It would be better to just leave Lelouch alone to his thoughts. By the time they had cleared the castle of the women and supplies, Lelouch would be back to himself. He’d probably have a plan ready to go, one full of his usual brilliance that even Tohdoh would be impressed.

He turned, ready to walk away when Lelouch made a soft noise. Suzaku froze, watching as Lelouch pushed away from the tree. For a moment, it looked like Lelouch was struggling to speak, Suzaku prepared for whatever grand statement he would make. Instead, Lelouch shook his head and curled slightly in on himself. “I didn’t, you know. I had plans in case Tohdoh didn’t come for you, but none of them banked on…that.”

Suzaku swallowed, remembering words slurred into his neck when he had tried to pour Lelouch into his bed. _“I miss you. I thought this would feel better. But it doesn’t.”_

He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. “I know.”

The broken laugh from Lelouch had him opening his eyes to look at the prince. Lelouch looked more vulnerable that Suzaku had ever seen him, even when Lelouch had been drugged in Pendragon. This was the part of him that Lelouch tried his hardest to hide, but he kept giving Suzaku glimpses of it.

If Lelouch knew what he was doing, then he probably would have been mortified because he had grown up where he had to hide all of his emotions to keep them from being used. The fact that Suzaku knew was probably terrifying enough, because that was one thing that Suzaku could hold over Lelouch for the rest of this alliance.

But Suzaku didn’t care. He hated the distance and the silences more than the destruction and the knowledge of what would be coming in the end. He hated it _because of_ what would happen in the end. That was inevitable, a fate brought about by the slow push of their army down to Edo. It was a relief. It frightened him and it made him want to be selfish.

It was easy to cross the distance between him and Lelouch in a few strides. The prince looked surprised, but didn’t flinch back. Suzaku looked at the sliver of space between them, marveling at how easy it had been to step into it. They had only gotten this close for show before, two rulers joined to fight for the justice that their people deserved. It was a fine lie woven in between real promises, and Suzaku hated it.

Lelouch reached out for him, his hand falling horribly short. “Suzaku…”

His name was just permission enough. Suzaku closed the distance between them, catching Lelouch’s lips in a kiss.

Some distant part of him wondered at how natural it felt to curl his fingers over Lelouch’s hip or to rest his hand at the back of Lelouch’s neck, his fingers slipping under the torc. But the rest of him was focused on the feeling of Lelouch grabbing onto the front of his kimono and hauling him closer.

Suzaku went with the tug, moving Lelouch back to the tree and pressing him up against it. The leaves might screen them from view, but Suzaku didn’t care. Let the soldiers and generals see, they all probably thought that he and Lelouch had been discrete before. Let Guinevere and her ladies see, it was nothing that they hadn’t guessed at. Nothing matters as much as Lelouch kissing him deeply and desperately, and the knowledge that the horrible distance between them had finally been breached.


	31. Sleeping

Lelouch was going to get them killed.

Suzaku swallowed and carefully kept his hands by his sides as the soldiers escorted them through the post stop to the inn. He could feel the stares of the other travelers and residents of the post stop, resisting the urge to pull his kimono more firmly around him. The guards would notice and suspect him of carrying weapons that none of them were allowed.

He turned his head and looked back at where Kallen and Ohgi were driving the carts after them. Rivalz and Gino sat stiffly between them, looking like they wanted nothing more than to leap into action, but they wouldn’t until they got Lelouch’s orders.

He swung his gaze back towards the prince, sure that those orders would never come. Lelouch was too busy talking animatedly to the guards that were escorting them through the streets about the dangers of the road and all the trouble the rebels were causing. Suzaku wasn’t surprised that Lelouch was getting a better response from the guards than a Britannian normal would, the prince was very charismatic. He was also speaking Japanese with some fluency, although Suzaku was sure that Lelouch was playing up his Britannian accent. That and he had been vociferous about how annoying he found the defection of the northern prefectures. Considering the fish scale pattern that the guards wore, they were all loyal to the new shogun.

Suzaku felt his stomach turn the longer he stared at the pattern, quickly dropping his gaze. He didn’t recognize any of the men, but he wasn’t surprised. The guards had probably lived in the north their entire lives, so they had never come down to Edo. They probably shrugged out of their phoenix crest just as easily. As long as the shogun didn’t cause them undo annoyance, most people didn’t notice the change.

He lowered his gaze when the guards looked back his way, carefully picking his way along behind Lelouch. Suzaku was sure that he caught bit of conversation extoling the silk that could be gotten from Japan, but Lelouch abruptly cut off the conversation with an apology. Suzaku looked up in time to see Lelouch execute a fairly passable bow and continuing his thanks to the guards for guiding them safely. The guards look flattered by the attention and waved them into the side yard of the inn. Even pacified, they looked askance at the rest of the group as they trundled in.

One guard stared too long as Gino as the carts came around. The attention almost enough to make Suzaku move to help, but Lelouch caught his arm before Suzaku could go too far. The prince shook his head and gently guided Suzaku towards the door. “Keep with the plan.”

“This isn’t the plan.”

Lelouch raised an eyebrow at him, but the prince kept silent. He just pulled Suzaku along as the captain of the guards led them into the inn.

Suzaku automatically scanned the first room, taking in the people kneeling on the floor around them. He glimpsed a few more rooms in the building, but the doors were slid shut. He tipped his head up to look at the second floor, listening to the people moving. It was impossible to get a count, but Suzaku was sure that it would be easier as soon as they started moving through the building. He could count on Gino and Rivalz to keep an eye on the rest of the post stop. Kallen would probably come in with her report as soon as she met with Tohdoh’s messenger.

The combined Britannian and Japanese army would continue its slow progress towards Edo, gathering supporters and fending off attacks while he and Lelouch made the rush for the capital. As it was, they were already cutting things close. Charles was already in Japan and there was no telling what the Emperor of Britannia was doing. Suzaku just prayed that Charles hadn’t brought down his own troops, because they would be severely outmanned. As it was, they were safe for just as long as Schneizel and Cornelia abided by the promise that Lelouch had wrung out of them. Although, Suzaku wasn’t sure how the two of them felt about Lelouch declaring himself emperor. He wasn’t even sure if the news had managed to get up to Pendragon yet, which could only mean that they still had some time.

He glanced back at Lelouch, his gaze lingering on the prince’s bare neck. Suzaku jerked his gaze away quickly when the captain of the guards moved around them.

The man walked over, rapping smartly on the counter and calling out to the proprietor. “Hey, we’ve got a few coming in late. More Britannians.”

The proprietor groaned, although the captain was quick to hush him. Suzaku clenched his hands into fists, but he held himself back. Lelouch would be able to take care of things. The prince would be able to talk his way out of anything, it was up to Suzaku to wait and listen.

He relaxed, pretending to look with interest around the main floor. There was no point hiding his own heritage, but he could allow the people gathered that he was just excited about coming home or that he was from far out in the country. After all, what self-respecting Japanese person would willingly help a Britannian unless they had no other choice? The war might have been seven years back, but the threat of Britannia was still strong in the north.

Lelouch cleared his throat, sauntering up to the bar and giving the man behind it a polite bow. “I am Claus, a renowned cloth merchant from Britannia.”

The proprietor stared at Lelouch for a moment before violently shaking his head. “That is impossible.”

“Why is that?”

“Because Claus the cloth merchant is over there.”

Suzaku turned, his mouth dropping open as he saw the jovial Britannian sitting on the ground, surrounded with other people that must have been his associates. Claus turned at about the same time, Suzaku watching as the man’s gaze jumped between the two of them.

He remembered Claus from the inn in Cong, but he remembered the man being drunk and generally happy-go-lucky. Claus had been more than ready to complain to him about the vagaries of his business while Lelouch had made sure that his contact was still in Cong. Suzaku had been surprised that a cloth merchant had known so much about the ins and outs of Pendragon, but he had brushed it off. People could know plenty about the royal court just by listening and, considering the reputation that Claus had bragged about, it was no wonder that the nobility had called him back time and time again.

Now, he wished that he hadn’t shrugged off that thought so quickly. Claus had fixed the two of them with a serious stare, looking far too alert considering that state of his companions.

Suzaku dropped his hand to his _obi_ as Claus stood up, watching as the man wove his way over to them. The sharp look was gone a moment later, Claus squinting at them before spreading his arms wide. “Claus!”

The captain of the guard looked between Lelouch and Claus before turning on the latter. “If he is Claus, then who are you?”

Claus laughed and waved his hand like the question was inconsequential. “I am-”

He didn’t get the chance to finish. The proprietor leaned over the bar, motioning wildly at Claus. “This is Claus, he’s been passing through here for the past eight years.”

“Of course I am.” Claus reached out to pat the man’s arm, missing and slapping the counter with his palm. “Of course I am, but you’ve never had the pleasure of meeting my _cousin_.”

“Cousin?” The guard spoke the word with effort, Suzaku suddenly sympathizing with him.

Claus didn’t meet a beat. He nodded enthusiastically and slung his arm over Lelouch’s shoulder. Suzaku hoped that neither the captain nor the proprietor saw the way that Lelouch winced, but Claus moved too fast. One moment he was standing by the counter and the next he was pressed up against Claus’ side laughing.

“Yes, cousin.” The cloth merchant patted Lelouch’s shoulder. “He is Claus and I am Claus, both named after our grandfather, Claus.”

“Thank you, Claus.” Lelouch stepped out of the man’s hold, but he kept a hand firmly on Claus’ shoulder. “I was hoping to meet up with you after our route was finished but one of our carts broken an axle and then these men believed that I was the eleventh prince of Britannia.”

Lelouch and Claus stared at each other for a long moment before bursting out into laughter. The men from Claus’ group were quick to follow, calling out welcomes to Lelouch. Suzaku was sure that he was supposed to join in, but he was still in shock from how simply the conversation turned around.

He glanced over at the captain, relieved to see that the man looked just as amazed as he did. The man held his gaze for a moment before shrugging. “Britannians.”

Suzaku managed a nervous laugh which seemed to be enough for the captain. The man nodded at them before going back outside, probably to call the guards off from their circling of the wagons.

He was tempted to follow to make sure that they didn’t find anything that they shouldn’t. He was sure the people that had brought with them would be fine with the guards, but he was more worried about them looking at the cart that Kallen and Gino were on. Suzaku didn’t think that Lelouch would be able to pull off another miracle, especially when it would be explaining why they had Lord Sawazaki’s wife trussed up in the back of the cart.

Suzaku took a step towards the door only to stop when Lelouch touched his arm. He turned to look back at the prince, surprised when Lelouch closed his fingers around his arm.

“Leave them.” Lelouch spoke in Britannian, keeping his voice low. “I trust them to have things under control.”

“The wagon…”

“They can handle it. C.C. knows what to do.”

Suzaku sighed but gave in. The two of them had their own charade to keep up. It would look strange if Claus, the cousin of the renowned Britannian cloth merchant Claus and his assistant suddenly rushed outside; especially when they were being waved over to the other Britannians.

That didn’t stop him from looking back over at the doors. Guinevere was secure, he had checked on her just before the guards had come to help them. He had checked her bonds himself and C.C. had been sitting beside her with a knife close by. Guinevere was secure and wouldn’t be calling out for help.

Suzaku still didn’t understand how Lelouch thought that he would use her to bargain with Sawazaki, but he was sure that he would find out soon enough. Lelouch had enough plans and schemes going on to make his head spin. For all he knew, Lelouch was hoping to exchange his older sister for Nunnally, wherever Sawazaki had tucked her away. He hadn’t expected Lelouch to forget about his sister in his rush into Japan, but he sometimes wondered how Lelouch could keep everything straight.

Lelouch’s hand slid off of his arm, the touch lingering far longer than it should have. Suzaku swallowed and looked up at Lelouch, catching something that could have been amusement. Then, Lelouch was calling to the Britannians and walking over.

The cloth merchants were eager to accept him into their fold, a few of them leaning forward and talking quickly in Britannian. Suzaku saw Claus lean closer, the smile gone from his face as he whispered in Lelouch’s ear.

The prince turned back to look at him, Suzaku standing still as Lelouch stared. Then, Lelouch shrugged, the conversation between the two of them obvious. Claus had wanted to know if Suzaku could be trusted, a strange question for a cloth merchant to ask.

He walked over to the group, giving Claus a long look. The man returned it before huffing and leaning back on his hands. “If your boss here vouches for you, then you’re good by us.”

“Why would I have to be?” Suzaku glared down at Claus, not surprised when the cloth merchant didn’t seem to be too disturbed by it.

Suzaku sighed and sat down beside Lelouch, leaning closer to the prince at a light touch to his arm. He shivered when he felt Lelouch’s lips against his ear, but he kept himself from jerking away. Even with the days they had spent on the road it was strange having Lelouch willing to come this close to him again. He swallowed and rested his hand on Lelouch’s leg, not surprised when Lelouch’s whisper wasn’t him passing information.

“Play nice.”

“Only if he does.”

Lelouch laughed and shook his head. “That’s not in his nature. People like him get caught if they play by your rules.”

Suzaku frowned as he tried to piece together what Lelouch meant, the conclusion hitting him quickly. He cursed and glanced around the table. “Spies.”

Lelouch nodded. “Who better? They cross borders all the time and can get into any place.”

“They bring back information to you.”

“To whoever is serving their interests. For now, that’s me.” Lelouch nodded over at Claus. “I don’t think that he’s loyal to anyone except repeat customers.”

By the smile Claus gave them, Suzaku didn’t doubt that. He still couldn’t quite relax around the man. Since Claus knew who Lelouch really was, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out who he was. Claus might be content to give Lelouch information for the moment, but the wind might change and Suzaku could think of plenty of people who wanted his head.

He swallowed and looked down at the table. If the prince noticed his distraction Lelouch didn’t show it, he just leaned back against Suzaku’s side. Suzaku heard a few of the other Britannians hum at the motion, but they didn’t seem to take too much interest in it. Apparently, there were enough merchants who were obviously affectionate with their assistants that it wasn’t worth the mention.

“So Claus, anything of interest since you left Cong?” Lelouch spoke like they were exchanging pleasantries instead of digging for information.

Claus groaned, shaking his head. “Your people close to the border have no taste. I have carts of cloth and they pick the dullest or none at all. I came here on a whim. The Japanese seem to need so many clothes that it seemed like a good idea. That and I’m chasing rumors.”

“Rumors of what?”

Suzaku looked up when he saw something slide across the table. He tipped his head to the side as the folded piece of silk was passed to Lelouch.

The prince hummed and unfolded the piece of pink silk. Lelouch studied it for a moment before pushing it over to Suzaku to study.

He recognized the circular pattern embroidered on the fabric in white as the usual roundel pattern of _kamon_ , but he couldn’t identify the sigil. It was a chrysanthemum, that much he could recognize, but the center had been removed to make room for a small butterfly symbol, the butterfly’s wings spread in flight.

Suzaku folded the piece of fabric up, pushing it back towards Claus with a shake of his head. “I don’t know what it is.”

“You don’t?” Claus snatched up the piece of fabric, tucking it up his sleeve quickly. He leaned forward as soon as the scrap was out of sight. “That’s a shame, the pattern is all the rage. I heard that it had completely taken over the court in the Chinese Federation and it’s been moving steadily into Japan.”

“Really?” Lelouch sounded interested.

Claus nodded. “It’s more popular along the east side, which is wonderful, but I heard that there’s another pattern taking over the north. They’re wild about feathers up there. I hear it’s spreading south too”

The merchant flashed them one of his grins, Suzaku shifting. He felt like he was only getting half of a conversation. He understood the insinuation about the feathers, Claus had been clear enough about that. The phoenix in flight was the Kururugi banner and he’d been greeted by the sight of it as they rode into towns enough to know that the entire northern part of Japan was in support of him. That the south was on his side was news to him.

He just barely stopped himself from glancing around. They were just cloth merchants talking about patterns, not an open rebellion against the shogun. Suzaku leaned forward slightly, looking at the rest of the merchants around the table. All of them looked equally at ease, but there was something behind their eyes, an awareness that the other people in the inn didn’t have.

Suzaku leaned a little into Lelouch, watching the prince out of the corner of his eye.

Lelouch gave him a sidelong glance before shrugging and claiming one of the glasses on the table as his own. “I might have to try and rush ahead of the fad. I’ve become quite fond of feathers lately.”

That drew a burst of laughter from Claus, the man rocking forward and smacking the palm of his hand against the table. It took Claus a moment to recover, and even then he had tears in his eyes when he looked up. Claus reached up to wipe the tears from his eye. He reached out to pat Lelouch’s shoulder, the force in it making Lelouch rock back against Suzaku. “I bet you have, my friend. I bet you have.”

Before Lelouch had a chance to respond, Claus raised his glass. “To my cousin and to future business ventures.”

Lelouch grinned and raised up his glass. “To future business ventures.”

The rest of the Britannians were quick to raise their glasses as well, all of them downing their drinks quickly. Suzaku watched as some of them screwed up their faces, unused to the taste of the alcohol. Lelouch jerked back into him in surprise, Suzaku not bothering to hide his chuckle.

Lelouch just calmly applied an elbow to his side, the laugh turning into a cough. He caught the smug smile that crossed Lelouch’s face before the prince leaned forward to join the next discussion.

Suzaku let the Britannian filter into the background, paying attention to the sound of the rest of the guests speaking. So far he couldn’t hear anything but the usual complaints about the state of the roads or troubles at home. There was nothing too interesting to pay attention to, at least not yet.

He sighed and knocked his shoulder back against Lelouch, basking in the sound of his native language and the presence of his prince at his shoulder.


	32. Twilight

Suzaku paused when he saw Cecile ducking out of the tent that had been set up. Bloody towels were draped over her arms and she was balancing a basin of reddish water, but she shook her head when he approached her. Cecile nodded back towards the tent. “She’s alright if you want to talk to her.”

“What makes you think that?”

“You wouldn’t be out here otherwise.” Cecile shrugged to resettle the towels on her arm. “Just be gentle with her. Things will be emotional for a few days.”

Suzaku accepted the advice with a nod, stepping towards the tent. He hesitated outside of it, listening to the sound of Cecile walking away to play for time. There was a code of conduct for soldiers on the march and entering tents but, to his knowledge, there hadn’t been a female soldier that had given birth, let alone a princess.

He lingered outside the tent for a moment longer before rapping his knuckles against the tent pole. Suzaku tipped his head towards the canvas, hearing someone on the inside sigh before making a strangely indecisive sound. It wasn’t exactly permission, but Suzaku was well aware of the time pressing on them.

Their small group was already camped nearly in the shadow of the hill that the Kururugi Shrine sat on. The army couldn’t be too far away, not more than a few hours march. While their group would be easy enough to miss, the army wouldn’t be, nor would the week old news that Princess Guinevere had been taken from Matsuejō. From there, it would be easy enough for Sawazaki and his council to figure out what was going to happen.

Since the princess had been taken captive, there was only one neutral place that they could meet, the Kururugi Shine.

Suzaku glanced over his shoulder at the hill. Up there were the graves of every member of the Kururugi family, back to even before they had become shogun. The family mansion was there too, abandoned since the death of his father. He hadn’t been back to the place since he was ten years old.

He looked away quickly. There would be time later to consider his old home, but there were things that he needed to finish now. Lelouch was occupied with the messages that were sure to come now that they had seen the signal from the army that it had stopped for the night. The prince would be working on campaign ideas and the best way to storm Edo, while Suzaku had to find a way to minimize the damage to the capital city and the people inside of it. Which was why he needed to speak to Guinevere.

He ducked into the tent, looking around the semi-dark space. It was easy enough to spot the princess where she was reclined on the cot. She had blankets piled high on her and a small bundle against her breast.

It didn’t take her long to see him too, Guinevere sitting up slightly. “You can tell Lelouch he’s an uncle.”

“Congratulations.”

Guinevere huffed and shook her head. “Don’t bother, you don’t mean it.”

Suzaku carefully didn’t answer, he had learned that much from Pendragon. Challenging the royal siblings was something that was done carefully or not at all.

He shifted in place, craning his neck to see if he could get a glimpse of the child. To his surprise, Guinevere moved the baby away from her, showing them off to Suzaku.

“There you go. One more thing to report to Lelouch.”

“I’m not here for Lelouch.”

That seemed to surprise her. Guinevere glanced down at the baby before rolling her eyes. “Then you’re here to talk about what Sawazaki will do. Don’t worry, he’ll come after the child, at least until he figures out the sex. Don’t worry though, it’s a boy. He’ll take it. But I feel like I should warn you.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t seem to be able to follow our plots and schemes.”

Suzaku crossed his arms over his chest, but remained silent. It was something that all of the royal siblings seemed to think of anyone who wasn’t from Britannia. Suzaku wasn’t sure if that was a particular Britannian fault or if it was something that they were taught. All he knew was that it made them easy to bait at times, like leading an overenthusiastic army into a trap.

Guinevere studied him for a moment before pulling the baby close to her. “It’d only be a temporary victory.”

“I know.” She looked surprised at that, Suzaku not able to help the way that the corner of his mouth twitched up. He kept quiet long enough for Guinevere to nod at him to continue. “Sawazaki might win for the meantime because he has his heir, but your father is only biding his time. He managed to trick all of Britannia that Lelouch murdered his siblings, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to convince Japan that Sawazaki died naturally. And there’s no question of the heir.”

Guinevere nodded along slowly, Suzaku noticing that her lips thinned at the mention of the royal family. She shifted her hold on the baby, not seeming to know what to do with it. Suzaku almost expected to call out for someone to take it, but she finally settled for resting it on her lap. The baby whimpered, but she didn’t seem to pay her child much attention.

She looked up to meet his gaze, gesturing for him to come closer. Suzaku hesitated before stepping forward. Guinevere kept gesturing until he was standing by the edge of the cot. She dropped her hand to rest on the bed, a vengeful light in her eyes. “Sawazaki was hoping that Father would bring more men with him, but he didn’t, so he’s wary. He will do _anything_ to secure his position.”

“He should have stood his ground at his castle.”

Guinevere shook her head, absently stroking her child’s arm. “He doesn’t have the men for that. Most of the lords don’t like the fact that Britannia has been calling most of the shots here and they’re suspicious of the council. He called for help from the Chinese Federation when he first heard about Narita, but they were already backing another army. You’re not the only one in Japan.”

“I know that.”

“And I bet you know exactly where they are, which means you know why he didn’t stand his ground. He can’t make a stand without Father’s support and his lords won’t fight for him unless the Britannian soldiers aren’t involved. You caused quite a stir when you came back from the dead.”

“But he left you.”

Guinevere flinched, but she remained firm. “I couldn’t move fast enough.”

Suzaku swayed in place, considering the princess. She had been complacent for the weeks on the road, something that Suzaku was willing to pass of as a combination of exhaustion and discomfort from being forced to travel so close to her due date. There hadn’t been anything else to do as far as Suzaku had seen. They couldn’t have left Guinevere behind their lines, not when she could easily call up to Pendragon for more troops. Even with their numbers, they couldn’t afford to get sandwiched between two armies. Besides, it would be a monumentally stupid move for Sawazaki to risk giving up his heir when he was in such a shaky position.

Between the two of them, Suzaku was more willing to trust Sawazaki than Guinevere. He’d prefer to keep the princess close no matter what happened, because he could at least predict Sawazaki. Guinevere was part of the enigma that was the Britannian royal family.

He jumped when she reached out to rest a hand on his wrist. Suzaku stared at her hand before looking up at Guinevere. He was sure that she was giving him a flirtatious smile, but he didn’t want to think on it too much. He reached down to pry her fingers away, not surprised by how quickly she jerked her hand back.

Guinevere stared at him for a moment before she gave him a real smile. “So the rumors are true, you are fucking my little brother.”

“So?”

“That just means I’ll have to come up with a different deal.” She leaned forward. “We both know Sawazaki’s days are numbered. He’s messed up any chance of being allowed to remain in his position whether or not you managed to beat my father or not. The council is done with him and so is Japan. As soon as this latest threat is done with, the council will turn on him.

“Kirihara has not deigned to tell me his plans, but I can bet that it involves you. There had to be some reason they made sure to keep you alive, especially since you were specified in the trade. Father just wanted someone from Japan that they could put in chains and give to Lelouch. He’s been planning for this since Genbu Kururugi was killed.”

Suzaku shifted nervously at the mention of how his father had died, but he didn’t bother to correct her. It was just enough to process what she was telling him. Suzaku doubted that Kirihara had told her any of this, but he didn’t doubt that Guinevere was smart enough to figure it out on her own. And, now that someone was pointing it out, it made sense. It would have been more dangerous to keep him alive because there would always be the chance that he would return and overthrow Sawazaki. Then again, Kirihara could have planned for that. It would be easy to switch out shoguns if the rightful heir is there. And, if Kirihara’s gambit didn’t work, then it would be easy enough to retrieve Suzaku from wherever he had sent him off.

He tipped his head to the side, considering the plan. It was nothing that he would have thought up on his own, but he could definitely see Kirihara doing it. The old man had always been the most cunning out of the council. Suzaku was sure that Kirihara had a scheme of his own, but he wouldn’t be able to figure that out until he talked to the man. He doubted that Kirihara would have talked much to Guinevere under any circumstances.

Guinevere nodded, her fingers stroking the top of the baby’s head. “I think the two of us are tired of being used, so why not turn this to our advantage. Let the two of me go tonight, and I’ll go back to Edo. I’ll talk to my father and bring the Britannian army.”

“And betray us?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Why should I? We’re working for the same purpose. Sawazaki won’t last long between the two of us, so why let him linger? You know that he won’t give up without a fight, so why not stack the odds on your side?”

“And what happens when we win?”

“Well, we’d have to do some housekeeping first. Sawazaki will have to go, as will most of the council. I don’t trust any of them. Of course, Father will have to go too.”

“So you want to kill them all?”

She shrugged. “Things happen in battle, and no one will question a mourning widow and the miraculously returned son of Genbu Kururugi.”

Suzaku tensed. “You’ll just give me back my position? I don’t believe you.”

She tipped her head to the side to acknowledge the question. “Fair enough. If we’re being honest with each other-”

“I don’t think you’re in a position to be otherwise.”

Guinevere frowned at being interrupted. “If we’re being honest with each other, then it’s true. I don’t intend to give you your position back. After all, you were stripped of all of your lands and titles according to the council.”

“So Lelouch and I just help you for nothing?”

“I didn’t say that.” She considered the question for a moment before shrugging. “I’m sure I can give you help with finding Nunnally, but I don’t think that I owe you much more considering that there’s a second army in Japan. You could fight Father and Sawazaki and then turn around to fight the second army or you could take my help and only have to fight once.”

“And then what?”

“Then I just let you go. Lelouch never wanted to rule the empire, he just wants Nunnally back. I might exile him for his crimes, but it’ll be to a safe place. The three of you can live happily together somewhere far away from this.”

“And you become Empress of Britannia.”

Guinevere shrugged. “I think it’s a fair price. I’ve maneuvered myself into position thus far, you can’t expect me to give all of this up.”

Suzaku looked between Guinevere and her son. He would give her that, because she had worked masterfully to get into a position that would allow her to get to the Britannian throne. Considering that she also had Sawazaki’s heir, she could easily wiggle into a position of regent for her son. She could easily bring Japan into the Britannian Empire with that move, which would mean that she would be hailed as the empress who had brought Japan in Britannia’s fold. After that, it would be easy enough to convince the Chinese Federation to join them as well.

He didn’t doubt that her offer to let him and Lelouch go was genuine, but he couldn’t help but wonder how long that their freedom would last. If Guinevere was working to expand the empire then there was no real guarantee of safety. She could promise to leave them alone all she wanted, but Suzaku wasn’t sure that he could trust her. Eventually there would be a challenge to her power, and the first person she would turn on would be Lelouch.

Suzaku shook his head, standing up as he did so. “I can’t agree to that.”

“Without talking to Lelouch?”

“At all.”

Guinevere shook her head. “You’re just like the rest of them, too much honor to act.”

Suzaku shrugged, not caring about her jabs. It didn’t matter what she thought. He didn’t want to drag his country into another war, but he couldn’t see the good in handing Guinevere and the baby over when it would probably lead to the same end. He absently rubbed his neck, his fingers moving to the callous there.

He glanced back at Guinevere, giving the princess a nod. “I’ll make sure the two of you remain safe.”

“Until when? Until Lelouch figures out what to do with me? Do you really trust him that much?”

“We are allies.”

She gave him a skeptical look before shaking her head. “You’re just going to leave us to him after he killed the others.”

Suzaku clenched his hands into fists. “Do you really think he could have killed Princess Euphemia?”

“No, but I doubt he would have killed any of his siblings. Then again, Father has told everyone about how strange Lelouch has been since Nunnally was taken. He spent so much of his time reading, and then he got a slave, all of those strange things. Worse yet, he’s allied with his enemy. All of those are very strange things, something Lelouch would never usually do.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It could be.” Guinevere laughed. “I’m not as helpless as I appear, Lord Kururugi. I have more than enough tricks to keep a soldier like you off balance. This is just a reminder.”

“Then this is your reminder. You will be under guard until your brother decides what he wants to do with you. It’s a family matter, and I’m staying out of it.”

The princess frowned, like she was trying to work out his motivations. It was a very Britannian thing to do, and something that amused him. All of them got frustrated when they tried to map out complex reasons onto people, like they all thought that anything offered to them came with catches.

He gave Guinevere an abbreviated bow, turning on his heel to leave the tent. He would find Cecile and talk to the physician about keeping close to Guinevere. There was no point in dragging her up to the Kururugi Shrine, especially when he was sure that Lelouch wouldn’t be trading her. Guinevere was right that no one aside from Sawazaki would want her back, especially when they had everything that they wanted. If anything, the exchange that would happen at the shrine would be a careful negotiation, and it would be his job to make sure that Lelouch didn’t let his anger get the best of him.

Suzaku reached for the front of the tent, pulling his hand back when Guinevere gave a short bark to laughter. He turned to look back at the princess, watching as she shook her head.

“I can see why my brother likes you. He’s always liked the idea of a knight, but only the ones in the story, everyone else always disappointed him. And then you come along. I would have done anything to see the moment he realized exactly what had happened.”

It was a last parting jab, the kind that would have easily gotten Lelouch to turn around and snap at her. From what Suzaku had seen of the royal family, it was the way they tried to eke out a win even when they were losing. It had shocked him once, at least until he had really seen what was below all of it. Any show of weakness meant that they were failing, and that they were a target when Charles eventually let his guard slip. It was a horrific way to live.

He looked her over one more time, picking out the parts that weren’t habitual force and were more scared woman. Suzaku gave her a slow nod before slipping out of the tent. He wouldn’t play her games, but he wouldn’t let Lelouch do anything to her. Political danger or not, the least Lelouch could do was make sure that Charles’ games ended with him. Suzaku hoped that having Charles lose his budding alliance with Japan would be enough to shake the security of his throne. From there it would be easy enough for Lelouch to sweep in and finish things up.

Suzaku sighed and looked up at the shape of the hill in the darkness. Now that he had heard what Guinevere said, it was hard to resist the urge to walk up to the mansion. He was sure that Sawazaki would have guards posted all around the place, because it was the first place that he would go. He could walk up to the mansion and wait until the guards gave the alert or until Sawazaki and the others came up. They might not trade for Guinevere and the baby, but Suzaku knew that they would trade for him. Nothing would be as discouraging to the army as seeing their commander and the person they thought was the rightful shogun being hauled away.

Nothing would encourage Lelouch to anger more either.

He turned to look back at Lelouch’s tent, staring at the faint light he could see coming from it. None of this was the battle that either of them had planned, there had been too many factors that they hadn’t known about until it was too late. Suzaku was glad that they had managed to catch Guinevere when they had or else they would have had to deal with her bid for power.

As it was, it looked like there would be a hard struggle before them. They could avoid most of the bloodshed if they turned the right person in. It would lull Charles and Sawazaki into a false sense of security and, without Guinevere to tell them what would happen, they would never know. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch would be able to find a way to turn everything onto its head.

Suzaku glanced back up at his childhood home before resolutely turning on his heel and walking towards the tent he shared with Lelouch.


	33. Midnight

Suzaku stepped into their shared tent, expecting to see Lelouch working at the maps and reports from the day. To his surprise, Lelouch was seated on the floor, the prince tugging at the straps of his armor.

Suzaku stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the strange sight. It wasn’t that Lelouch had never paid attention to his armor, the prince had made sure to keep track of it after Luciano had been dismissed from command. It had never been Lelouch’s task to check over the armor, Suzaku had been in charge of it. Or, while they had been traveling with their combined army, one of the squires that had begged the honor. Those same squires were back with the main army a few hours march away, but Suzaku wouldn’t have minded being able to do something with his hands.

Lelouch looked up from the strap he was working with. He gave Suzaku a relieved smile, the expression working something warm loose in Suzaku’s chest. “I wondered what you had gotten up to.”

“I was just looking around.”

Lelouch hummed, running his fingers over the ornate swirls and leaves that adorned the breast plate. His fingers skimmed over the golden v-shape along the collarbone before he moved to put the piece of armor down. Lelouch patted the blankets close by him, already reaching for the next piece of armor as Suzaku walked over.

The prince didn’t speak again until Suzaku was sitting next to him. By then, he was already turning a vambrace over in his hand. Lelouch poked at the leather underneath the metal before letting the vambrace fall into his lap. “What did you find?”

Suzaku shrugged. “That nothing has changed.”

“I doubt that. Things always change.”

“Not that I can see.”

Lelouch hummed and leaned back on his hands, staring off at the tent. Suzaku didn’t bother to follow Lelouch’s gaze because he knew that there was nothing there. He glanced over where his own armor was waiting, tempted to start picking through it, but there was no point. He didn’t intend to wear it to the shrine because he didn’t anticipate a fight. Both sides would at least try to pretend like they weren’t going to betray the other, at least until they were sure about where the armies were.

He glanced over at Lelouch, watching as the prince absently drum his fingers against the vambrace. Lelouch must have realized what he was doing at about the same time, because the prince pulled his hand away. “I heard about Guinevere from Cecile.”

“I know, I talked to her.”

“Good, because I wasn’t in the mood for it.”

Suzaku sighed and shook his head. “I would say you should, but I don’t think you would get anything. The two of you would just snap at each other.”

Lelouch winced, but didn’t look too surprised by the assessment. “So, you got something out of her.”

“I think I confused her into admitting it. She probably thought I was too stupid to understand what she was offering.”

“And what was she offering?”

“A chance to run, because she doesn’t believe that any of them will want to trade advantages for her.” Suzaku glanced over at Lelouch. “I think she’s right by the way. No one is going to swing in our favor.”

“I know. While you were out visiting, I was trying piece together everything we have.”

Suzaku didn’t need to ask what conclusion that Lelouch had drawn. It couldn’t have been a good one if Lelouch had put away all of his papers and reverted to doing something completely different. He couldn’t blame Lelouch, because things didn’t seem to be lining up the way that they needed them to.

Charles was already in Japan, he had been before they had managed to get their joint armies together. He had probably been making landfall when they had been securing Babel Fort. That had given the emperor plenty of time to secure himself in Japan. Suzaku was sure that Sawazaki would have been happy for the support, especially if all the rumors that he had heard on the march were true. Sawazaki was struggling against his own council, which was why he was leaning more heavily on Britannian support.

Then there was the other army. Claus had given them the best information, and even that had been second hand. There hadn’t been any information about the size or the troop movements. Guinevere had been the one to connect the second army to the Chinese Federation, which was daunting enough. His first instinct was to think that they would ally themselves with the Britannians considering the way that things were going between the two kingdoms. Then again, if Sawazaki hadn’t been sure about the army then there was a small chance that the second army was on their side.

It was too much uncertainty, especially with how far they were from any support.

Suzaku swallowed and looked over at Lelouch. The prince had pushed his armor away into an unruly pile, Lelouch looking like he was going to stand up and start pacing. Suzaku wouldn’t stop him, not when it would keep Lelouch calm. He would probably sort through the pile himself while Lelouch went over his maps until the prince had a plan. He couldn’t ease his own uncertainty so easily, not until he could see the battlefield.

He went to move out of Lelouch’s way when Lelouch reached over to rest a hand on his arm. The touch brought him up short, Suzaku staring down at the prince’s fingers.

They didn’t look like the kind to hold a weapon, they looked more like the kind to hold a pen or a book. In another life, Lelouch would have just done that. Suzaku could imagine Lelouch becoming as great a diplomat as Schneizel was. It was the life in Charles’ court that had destroyed all of that.

Despite everything he had said to Guinevere, he could see Lelouch becoming emperor. Considering everything that happened and all the things he had heard Lelouch say, there was no other choice. That still didn’t stop him from wishing that things could be different.

He cleared his throat when he realized that the silence had gone on for a while. He intended to ask Lelouch what he was planning on doing, but the words died in his mouth.

Lelouch had leaned in close, Suzaku automatically shifting to give Lelouch the space to come closer. The prince took the silent invitation without hesitation, one hand moving to rest on Suzaku’s shoulder. There was a chance that Lelouch was going to push him back to the blankets, but that never happened. Lelouch just squeezed his shoulder.

Suzaku wasn’t sure if it was to reassure him or to reassure Lelouch, but he didn’t think it mattered much. It wasn’t the first time either of them had gone to war. He had helped Tohdoh with the few uprisings during his father’s reign, and Lelouch had been fighting in battles since he had gotten to the border. Itsukushima wasn’t much of anything anymore. It was just a starting point.

He was just afraid that this would be the end of everything. He could deal with that if it was the end for him, but not Lelouch.

Suzaku reached up, carding his fingers through the short hairs on the back of Lelouch’s neck. The prince’s hair was getting longer, Suzaku sure that Lelouch had kept it like that for a disguise, but he almost missed the old way that Lelouch had worn it. He pushed his fingers into Lelouch’s hair, not even having to use the hold to move Lelouch’s head into place. Lelouch was already leaning in, stopping with a hair breadth between their lips.

“Suzaku-”

Suzaku crossed the last bit of distance between the two of them. He didn’t want to hear what Lelouch had to say. He didn’t want to think about what they would have to do come morning.

He curled his free arm around Lelouch’s waist, pulling the prince closer to him. Lelouch went willingly, climbing into Suzaku lap. Suzaku laughed into the kiss, turning his head slightly so he could nip at Lelouch’s lower lip. “Eager.”

“Shut up.”

The words were growled out. Lelouch tightened his grip on Suzaku’s shoulders, bunching the fabric up before shoving it away. Suzaku rolled his shoulders to help Lelouch push the fabric away. The kimono fell down his back, stopped by the _obi_ that was still in place. Suzaku chuckled into the kiss, ready to return the favor when Lelouch’s hands skimmed over his shoulders.

Suzaku pulled away from Lelouch’s lips, nuzzling along the line of Lelouch’s jaw. He felt Lelouch tip his head to the side, humming in thanks. He admired the pale column of Lelouch’s neck, tempted to suck a bruise there.

The thought was derailed as Lelouch suddenly jerked his hands away. Suzaku looked up, surprised by the look of disgust on Lelouch’s face. He tipped his head to the side, studying the prince for a moment before he realized what must have happened. Lelouch must have touched his scars.

Suzaku craned his neck back, not really expecting to see the scars on his back. He never truly forgot about them, but they had become familiar enough that they didn’t linger at the front of his mind. Lelouch’s reaction was strange because Suzaku was sure that Lelouch had seen them multiple times. There hadn’t been much privacy on the road to the Kururugi Shrine, nor had he seemed squeamish about them while in Britannia. But Suzaku couldn’t think of a single instance when Lelouch had touched them and, considering the look on Lelouch’s face, he hadn’t meant to.

Lelouch swallowed and leaned back, but Suzaku didn’t let him go too far. “Lelouch.”

“I know. I just forgot.” Lelouch stared at his shoulder. “That’s stupid, that I just forgot. It was my doing.”

Suzaku nodded in acknowledgment. He wasn’t going to demand an apology; it had been too long and what had happened was too big to apologize for. It was good enough for him that Lelouch knew acknowledged it. Beyond that, he didn’t know. He was just feeling his way through what was between them on instinct.

He slid two fingers under Lelouch’s chin, tipping it up towards him. “Okay.”

The single word seemed to work. Lelouch relaxed, leaning into him a moment before he got up from Suzaku’s lap.

Suzaku reached up to stop him, his hand hovering in the space between them. Lelouch didn’t go too far, just far enough that the clothes he was stripping off would drop to the floor instead of on the blankets.

Suzaku let his hand fall back to his side as Lelouch knelt over him again. He smiled up at Lelouch as the prince gently cupped his cheek at the same time as he pushed him back to the blankets.

He went without a complaint, looking up at Lelouch as the prince braced himself over him. Suzaku raised an eyebrow, reaching up to touch the torc that Lelouch wore around his neck. “I’ve always meant to ask. Why?”

“Because it was…” Lelouch looked down like he would be able to catch a glimpse of it before shaking his head.

Suzaku shrugged and let the question drop, preferring to slide his hand up Lelouch’s neck. Lelouch leaned into the touch, lowering his head for a kiss. Suzaku rose up slightly to meet it, grunting as he felt his kimono catch on something. He tipped his head back, shaking his head when he saw that Lelouch was leaning on it. “You’re making things difficult.”

He expected the groan, but not for Lelouch shift on his lap and tug at his _obi_. Suzaku was shocked at the forwardness, staring at the prince as Lelouch worked at the belt.

It didn’t take long to give under Lelouch’s fingers, Suzaku turning his head slightly to watch as the belt went flying to one side of the room. He didn’t get to see where it landed because Lelouch was pulling open his kimono. Suzaku shuddered as Lelouch slid a hand down his chest and to his side. He bit his lip as Lelouch’s fingers curled against his side, Lelouch’s thumb rubbing against something there.

Suzaku looked down at where Lelouch was touching, reaching down to draw Lelouch’s fingers away from the old scar. He brought Lelouch’s hand up to his lips, kissing the back of Lelouch’s knuckles. “I was a soldier before this.”

Lelouch shook his head. “You were…something like a prince.”

“But a soldier first.”

Lelouch made a pained noise, Suzaku quick to lean forward and cut it off. He wasn’t going to allow that, not when there was something else they could be doing. If Lelouch wanted to agonize over every scar that Suzaku had gotten during his twenty-two years of life then they would be there all night. Suzaku was only willing to accept remorse for the ones on his back, not the ones he had gotten being a headstrong kid.

It took some coaxing for Lelouch to relax again, Suzaku leading him into a steadily deeper kiss. He dragged his hands down Lelouch’s back, letting them linger on Lelouch’s hips until the prince finally gave in. Suzaku hummed in response to the motion, pulling Lelouch more firmly into his lap.

They both moaned as they rubbed against each other, Suzaku quick to hold Lelouch in place. He heard Lelouch gasp in response, about to ask if he was alright when Lelouch reached back.

Lelouch groped around behind his back, Suzaku feeling the prince’s fingers brush against his wrist a few times before he managed to get a good hold. Lelouch tugged on Suzaku’s wrist, guiding it down further. “Yes.”

Suzaku pulled away just enough that he could see Lelouch’s eyes, and only then for short bursts because he couldn’t completely drag himself away from Lelouch’s lips. “Like this?”

Lelouch nodded, leaning back out of Suzaku’s reach. Suzaku shifted his hold so Lelouch wouldn’t topple completely off his lap. He looked up to meet Lelouch’s gaze in time to catch the teasing grin that Lelouch shot him as the prince leaned a little bit further back. Suzaku took the strain with a grunt. He felt Lelouch’s appraising gaze on him, Suzaku grinning up at Lelouch. There was a promise of later there, which intrigued him. But that would be much later, when he didn’t want to chase the blush that was spreading over Lelouch’s skin down his chest. That might have to wait until later too, because Suzaku wasn’t sure that he could reach Lelouch without letting him drop to the blankets.

He was debating his ability to hold Lelouch up and chase after the blush when Lelouch sat up again. Lelouch rested one hand on Suzaku’s chest to steady himself, the other one holding up a vial. Suzaku glanced over at the vial, watching as Lelouch waved it. “How long have you been carrying that?”

“Since we marched out.”

Suzaku watched as Lelouch poured the oil onto his fingers. “Expecting something.”

“I always plan ahead.” Lelouch’s breath hitched as he slid a finger into himself.

Suzaku was torn between turning Lelouch around and watching or just watching Lelouch’s face. The only reason he couldn’t move were the expressions that accompanied the soft sounds that Lelouch made as he stretched himself. He squeezed Lelouch’s hips, leaning up towards him as one of the moans came out like a hitched version of his name.

He caught Lelouch’s lips with his own, hearing Lelouch make a muffled noise of surprise. But that didn’t stop Lelouch from leaning in and messily kissing him back. The sounds still leaked through, which was more than enough for Suzaku to encourage Lelouch into a motion that rocked him forward into him and back onto his finger.

Lelouch shuddered in his arms, Suzaku catching the edge of a curse. He turned his head to kiss the edge of Lelouch’s jaw. “You alright?”

Suzaku wasn’t sure if Lelouch shivered because of the puff of air on his skin or because of the two fingers he was rocking back on. He tipped his head to the side, watching as Lelouch visibly gathered himself to answer. It was a short nod, but it was all that Suzaku needed.

He ducked his head, nuzzling against Lelouch’s neck until he felt the quick flutter of Lelouch’s pulse. He kissed the spot gently before sucking a bruise into the skin.

He was rewarded with a loud moan. Suzaku glanced over at the front of the tent, halfway expecting Rivalz or one of the others to come running in. While he and Lelouch hadn’t been subtle about what they were doing, Lelouch was always quiet. Suzaku didn’t know why, but he had never found a good time to ask, especially not when Lelouch was around. Now that he had permission to touch it was an all-consuming thought.

Suzaku ran his thumbs over Lelouch’s hips, afraid to move his hands in case Lelouch jerked suddenly. With the way that Suzaku could feel Lelouch twitching it was a distinct possibility. It was wonderful to watch Lelouch fall apart piece by piece, but Suzaku wanted more. _He_ wanted to be the reason that Lelouch was breaking out of his normal silence.

He adjusted his hold on Lelouch, surprised when the prince rocked up onto his knees. Suzaku stared at the section of Lelouch’s chest that he was confronted with, unable to resist the urge to press a kiss against the skin there. He dragged his tongue along the blush, freezing when he felt one of Lelouch’s hands rest on his head. Suzaku breathed out slowly, whining when Lelouch tugged on his hair. He kept still on Lelouch’s request, trying to keep his breathing steady.

Suzaku heard the sound of a cork being pulled free. He turned his head slightly, watching as Lelouch worked with something behind his head. He hummed, leaning forward slightly so he could muffle the sound against Lelouch’s skin. He smiled as Lelouch jerked, hearing the prince curse before Lelouch shifted on his lap.

He didn’t get the chance to ask what Lelouch had been doing before Lelouch reached between them, wrapping slick fingers around Suzaku’s cock.

Suzaku bucked up, gasping as Lelouch tightened his grip. He went to thrust up into the slick grip when Lelouch released him. He glanced down to watch as Lelouch trailed his finger gently over his cock, Suzaku, lifting his hips to try and encourage Lelouch to touch him again.

Lelouch laughed, Suzaku tipping his head up as Lelouch leaned down. He huffed at the gentle kiss his forehead was given, earning another laugh. Suzaku grumbled, but lifted his chin, expecting Lelouch to kiss him again. Instead, he felt Lelouch hand close around his cock, holding him steady and Lelouch lowered himself down.

Suzaku tried not to tighten his grip on Lelouch’s hips, but it was hard when Lelouch was sliding down so slowly. Looking up at Lelouch’s face didn’t help, not when Lelouch’s mouth had gone completely slack. The hand that Lelouch had kept in his hair tightened, Suzaku leaning back into the pressure as Lelouch sat down completely in his lap.

Lelouch went still, breathing heavily. His fingers flexed against Suzaku’s scalp and by his side. Suzaku tightened his hold on Lelouch in response, watching as Lelouch’s breath hitched. He shifted slightly, going still when Lelouch shook his head. “Stay still…for just a while longer.”

Suzaku nodded, letting his head tip forward. Lelouch loosened up the hold on his hair, his hand just resting on the top of his head as Lelouch took deep breaths.

He closed his eyes, listening to the faint sound of Lelouch’s heartbeat. Suzaku rubbed his cheek against Lelouch’s skin, trying to use the motion to calm him. It was hard to keep still when Lelouch was so hot and tight around him, his inner muscles fluttering every once and a while when one of them moved slightly.

Lelouch’s pattern of breathing changed, Suzaku waiting until it had gone somewhat back to normal before he looked up at the prince. “Lelouch?”

“Yes. Move. Please.”

Suzaku huffed and bucked up into Lelouch, surprised by the way that Lelouch shuddered at the motion. He thought he saw a word being formed on Lelouch’s lips, but it was gone as soon as it appeared.

He felt Lelouch’s hand drop onto his shoulders, feeling pressure there as Lelouch braced himself. Lelouch used the hold to push himself up. Suzaku helped, steadying Lelouch as he rose and then guiding him back down. Lelouch made a sound like all the air had been punched out of him, He curled his fingers into Suzaku’s shoulders, his nails digging into skin.

Suzaku shivered at the sharp burst of pain, but it was easy to ignore in the face of the partially bitten off noises that Lelouch was making. The marks wouldn’t scar, but they would linger, and he wanted that. He wanted all the reminders he could get of any time they came together like this. It was the kind of desperation that the other soldiers had talked about but Suzaku had never understood, at least until Lelouch. It was the need to hold onto someone dear and alive when death was close.

He pressed his head against Lelouch, interrupting the halting rhythm that Lelouch had set up. It didn’t take much to coax Lelouch to go faster, Lelouch seeming to be as desperate as he was.

Lelouch gave up on rising up and down, switching to clinging tightly to Suzaku’s shoulders as he ground down on him. Lelouch whimpered, Suzaku about to let up his tight hold when Lelouch keened. He looked up at the sound, watching Lelouch’s face.

Lelouch’s eyes were completely unfocused as he rocked on Suzaku’s lap, Suzaku grinned and stretched up to kiss what he could reach, nosing against the torc up as he explored what he could reach of Lelouch’s neck and collarbone. He muttered Lelouch’s name into his skin, slipping into the Japanese pronunciation of the name. He didn’t think that Lelouch noticed, because Lelouch was gasping out half-finished words. Suzaku wasn’t even sure that they were in any language but he didn’t care, the sound of Lelouch voice was more than enough.

He hissed as Lelouch clawed frantically at his shoulders, Lelouch pulling him close even as he jerked in Suzaku’s arms. Suzaku felt warmth splash across his stomach as Lelouch came, his name on the prince’s lips.

Suzaku shivered, shifting his hold so he could smooth a hand up Lelouch’s back. His fingers ran along Lelouch’s spine, Suzaku intending to use the hold to really thrust up into Lelouch. But then Lelouch slumped against him, Suzaku shivering as Lelouch nuzzled into his neck. Lelouch gave a full body shudder at Suzaku next thrust, his voice pitching into a keen on Suzaku’s name.

The sound of his name said with such desperation was enough to send him over the edge. He dug his fingers into Lelouch’s skin, feeling Lelouch arch his back at the sudden restriction. Suzaku whimpered as Lelouch clawed at his shoulders, the pain just on the right side of pleasure to make him shiver.

He dropped his head against Lelouch’s shoulder, panting for breath. It wasn’t until the thundering of his heart had slowed that he realized that Lelouch was stroking his hair. He hummed his thanks, loosening his arms from around Lelouch. Suzaku rocked back slightly, watching as Lelouch stretched up.

It was rare that he got to see Lelouch looking do debauched. The prince was usually very careful above his appearance, but not he was a mess, a thin layer of sweat over the blush that still lingered on his skin. Suzaku reached down to drag his fingers through the splatter of come on Lelouch stomach, earning a partially disgusted groan from the prince. He grinned as he lifted his hand to lick his fingers clean.

He saw a flicker of interest on Lelouch’s face before the prince shook his head and stood up. “I’m not kissing you now.”

Suzaku laughed, falling back onto the blankets. He could hear Lelouch moving around the tent, but he didn’t bother to watch the prince. Lelouch was probably getting water and a towel to clean the two of them up; he could rarely abide being messy for long, which was a shame. Suzaku loved the moments when Lelouch looked anything but put together.

He tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling of the tent. Now that his breathing and slowed down, he could hear the rest of the small camp. It wasn’t the bustle of an army camp, but it was enough to remind him that it wasn’t just him and Lelouch there. It was a sobering thought, the smile slipping from Suzaku’s face.

Suzaku propped himself up on his elbows, looking over at Lelouch. The prince was starting to make his way back over, his skin gleaming slightly from the quick wash down that he had given himself. Suzaku felt his stomach twist at the sight, surprised by the rush of fear that went through them.

He had been in battle before, as had Lelouch. The two of them had ridden into battle together and he had never been overly worried. Then again, compared to the engagements that they had fought, this was bigger. Going up against Charles and Sawazaki was _everything_. If they didn’t manage that, then there would be no escape from them. Lelouch would be killed, and Suzaku was sure that there wouldn’t even be a reason offered. Suzaku was sure that he would disappear just as easily, if Kirihara and the others didn’t need him. And if they did, then Suzaku was sure that it would be a fate worse than death. Kirihara couldn’t hold off Charles zi Britannia for long, and the emperor of Britannia wouldn’t be forgiving.

Suzaku reached out for Lelouch as the prince crouched down, wrapping his fingers around Lelouch’s wrist. Lelouch gave him a confused look but didn’t question the touch. Suzaku rubbed his thumb against Lelouch’s pulse, trying to remain as still as possible as Lelouch wiped him down.

Normally he would have offered to take care of himself, but he didn’t want to let go of Lelouch. He wanted to wrap himself around the prince and not let go, just so the two of them could be safe. It was a foolish and childish hope that his presence alone could keep Lelouch safe but that didn’t stop him from wishing that things were already decided or, better yet, things had been different.

Lelouch stopped in the middle of dipping the towel back in the water. It was only when he shot Suzaku a surprised look that Suzaku realized that he had spoken some of his thoughts out loud. He was trying to think back over what he could have possibly spoken when Lelouch sat down beside him. The prince set the bowl and towel to one side, pulling his knees up to his chest. Lelouch looked surprisingly small like that, which made Suzaku want to drape his arm over Lelouch and pull him close.

He shifted slightly, surprised when Lelouch turned to face him as well. The prince was silent for a moment before he reached out to cup Suzaku’s cheek. “Would we still have been like this?”

Suzaku shrugged. “I would have been out in the field all the time.”

“And I would have been in the library.”

“We never would have seen each other.”

Lelouch hummed, his hand dropping away. “I don’t know about that. My mother would have adored you.”

“I was a brat when I was younger.”

“Then I would have loved knocking you down a peg.” Lelouch laughed, scooting closer to him. “I would have regretted the fact that you were in line to become shogun back then too. I would want you for myself.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he would have agreed, but Lelouch would have immediately known it was a lie. They might have been friends, or even lovers, but they wouldn’t have been together in the way Lelouch imagined. The only way it would have worked was if Suzaku had convinced Lelouch to come to Japan. While that would have been amusing to see Lelouch and Kirihara butting heads, Suzaku didn’t think that would have happened either. For all his protests that he didn’t want to be emperor, Suzaku couldn’t see Lelouch doing anything else. It was the only way that Lelouch could accomplish his goal of freeing the Areas from Britannia.

He sighed and dropped back down to the blankets. Lelouch followed, easing himself into the small space between them. Suzaku took the invitation to drape an arm over Lelouch, tugging the prince close. He heard Lelouch make a soft noise, not sure if it was meant to be soothing or if it was one of contentment. He didn’t care, because he was too busy holding onto Lelouch.

Lelouch seemed to have the same idea, because he draped an arm over Suzaku’s back. Suzaku felt Lelouch flinch when his bare arm touched the scars, but then Lelouch rested his arm down carefully, like he was afraid that they would still hurt. Suzaku relaxed under the gentle pressure, the give enough to get Lelouch to relax as well.

The prince let them lie in silence for a while before he shifted so their foreheads were pressed together. “We’ll get Charles out of Japan, and then you’ll get it settled.”

“You have so much confidence in my political skills.”

“They can’t be worse that Sawazaki’s. Besides, I’ll be working just as hard disassembling the empire. It might take a while, but most of the Areas are to the north and the west. The old boundaries of Britannia were always closer to the south, so it wouldn’t take much to stay in contact.”

“We could hold both ends?”

“No, we would hold the center. If we didn’t, then things might fall apart. But if we hold the center, then we’ll have peace for as long as we’re around, and possibly after. Aomori-ken had been tossed back and forth between Japanese and Britannian hands for years, and look what they have. It’s what we could create in miniature.”

“But not an empire.”

“No. Never again. I’d be the last emperor and I don’t think many would mind.”

Suzaku doubted that, but he would let Lelouch have his dream. The prince probably had plenty of other plans and schemes in his head about what to do about Britannia, ones that Lelouch probably wouldn’t share until he was ready. If everything went according to plan, Suzaku was sure that he wouldn’t hear about them until Lelouch had put them into motion, and he could just imagine how much his father’s council would panic once they heard it.

He frowned, quick to smooth the expression out before Lelouch could comment on it. If he became shogun then his father’s council would be the first thing to go. They could no longer be trusted, which meant that he would have to find people of his own. But he doubted that he would even do that. Lelouch might be able to be optimistic about what they were about to do, but Suzaku couldn’t muster up any, not after what he had heard from Guinevere. Besides, things had been going well for them so far, almost too well. Considering everything that they were running into, it seemed like the perfect place for it to all come crashing down.

Suzaku reached out to touch the torc around Lelouch’s neck, his fingers finding the twists and groves in it. He traced out one of the lightning bolts shapes that had been scratched in among the twists. He moved his hand around to the back of Lelouch’s neck, letting it rest there. Suzaku rubbed his thumb across the shorter hairs at the base of Lelouch’s skull.

Lelouch hummed at the touch, his eyes fluttering shut. Suzaku wanted to laugh at how easily Lelouch slipped off, but he didn’t want to wake him. He bit his lip to keep quiet, watching as Lelouch settled into sleep.

They had only been on the road for a week and he had already gotten used to having Lelouch close, to having Lelouch _safe_. And he would do anything to keep Lelouch that way.


	34. Betrayal

Suzaku watched the shogun’s party approach, carefully keeping himself still. At least one of them should look like they were in control of the situation, even if it just was an illusion. Lelouch might not have been able to see it, but Lelouch hadn’t really looked at the situation fully. As far as Suzaku knew, the prince hadn’t even visited his sister, not that Suzaku could blame him. Knowing Guinevere’s mood, she would have just goaded him into a rage that wouldn’t have helped anyone. But the gap in Lelouch’s plan was telling.

Guinevere was right, Sawazaki would be the only one willing to trade for her. The shogun needed to secure his dynasty and ties to Britannia, especially if his councilors were starting to show their hand so that they could sway him to their desires. It was a tug of war for the throne, and it was definitely not where Lelouch wanted to be.

He shifted in place, carefully keeping his hands away from the swords that he wore. The party was close enough that it might be considered a threat, and Suzaku was not about to goad them when he didn’t know what was going to happen.

At the moment, the shogun would have the advantage. Most of their small group had been left behind at their camp with orders to pack up and ride for the main body of the army as soon as he and Lelouch returned. The army was already in position, ready to march out into the plains to challenge the army that Sawazaki had gathered. It was the optimal position if they had the upper hand. And Suzaku doubted their position the longer he watched the shogun’s escort ride up.

He had known that Sawazaki would come, but he hadn’t expected most of the man’s council to come with him. If that wasn’t a sign of distrust, then the sight of the Emperor of Britannia riding with them was. There was no reason that Charles should have ridden out with the rest of them, especially when it wasn’t a matter for Britannia. The squad of guards behind them also made him wary, Suzaku shifting in place.

He wasn’t sure if Lelouch had specified that Sawazaki come alone, he wasn’t sure if Lelouch’s place had been secure enough to dictate terms. But he was sure that Lelouch hadn’t expected to see his father.

The prince took a step back as Charles pulled up his horse, Suzaku quick to reach out and grab Lelouch’s arm. Emperor of Britannia aside, they couldn’t back out, not without making things worse. They still held Guinevere for what that was worth.

Suzaku glanced over at the princess, watching as she narrowed her eyes. It was obvious that she was weighing the situation up, but he didn’t know her enough to know which way that she would sway. She certainly wasn’t looking at Kirihara and the other councilors with any warmth, which meant that she might be on their side for some things. For others, he would just have to wait and see how Lelouch moved. Out of the two of them, Lelouch would know his sister best.

He shifted in place, watching as the representatives dismounted and handed their horses over. His gaze lingered on the guards that dismounted, Suzaku tensing a little bit. They had their own guards, but Kallen and Rivalz were more there for Guinevere’s sake, and Cecile wasn’t a soldier. Still, it was nothing compared to the guards that the others had brought.

Suzaku reached out for Lelouch, stopping himself short as Sawazaki stepped forward.

The man didn’t seem to notice the entourage that had followed him, he only had eyes for the bundle that Guinevere was holding. Sawazaki came to a stop in the strange no man’s land between the two groups, looking between Lelouch and Guinevere. “You swear that no harm has come to her.”

Lelouch gave a curt nod, Suzaku seeing Lelouch’s back straighten. “I swear. And I even brought a physician who can tell you the same, unless you don’t trust the oath she took.”

From the look on Sawazaki’s face, Suzaku doubted that the man did, but at least he didn’t argue. Lelouch seemed to take that as a good sign too, because he motioned to Cecile and Guinevere.

“I apologize for not meeting in the prearranged place, but I doubted that my sister could make it up all of those steps in her condition.”

Sawazaki gave the top of the hill a quick glance, Suzaku unable to keep himself from looking over as well.

He couldn’t see much of his childhood home, just the tips of the roof and the two red _torii_ gates. It wasn’t much more different than the other glimpses that he had gotten of the mansion since he had been called to Edo at ten years old. He hadn’t been back since his mother had died, his father practically abandoning the house to focus on Edo.

Suzaku expected some surge of longing to hit him, because the mansion had been one of the things that he had dreamed about while in captivity. Now that he was there, it wasn’t the great swelling of feeling that he thought. Instead, he just wanted to get away.

He shifted in place, watching as Guinevere was carefully guided over to Sawazaki. He wasn’t surprised that Sawazaki barely looked at Guinevere, choosing to check on his son instead. Suzaku met Guinevere’s gaze, noting the way that she looked away in annoyance. The expression faded when she locked eyes with him, replaced with something that looked more thoughtful. It matched the look Lelouch would get when he was considering something.

Suzaku let it pass, focusing instead on the rest of the party. He knew that Lelouch would only have eyes for his father, which meant that it would be his job to keep watch on the others.

The council looked as nervous as usual, but Kirihara looked calm and determined. Suzaku watched the old man curl his fingers over the top of his cane.

He could just imagine the way that the man’s mind was working. Considering all of the factors that were bearing down on him, Suzaku couldn’t believe that the exchange was sitting well with him. There was no question that Kirihara had read the notes of exchange and had probably aired his grievances, but Sawazaki had ignored them.

Suzaku reached out to touch Lelouch’s arm, ready to call a retreat. They had gotten their exchange off and it would be better to wrap it all up before Kirihara and the others figured out their footing. Sawazaki was probably still malleable enough to give them what they wanted instead of siding with his council. They would have until Sawazaki was done looking over his son to act, because Suzaku was sure that the man would turn to his council after that.

Lelouch didn’t seem to notice the reminder, the prince was already stepping forward “You’ll find that we kept our end of the bargain. Now, keep yours. Hand over the man who murdered my family.”

Sawazaki looked up from his son, surprise crossing his face. He swayed in place before looking back at his council, like the news was something that he had never heard before. Suzaku followed Sawazaki’s gaze, noticing the way that Kiriahara’s eyes narrowed, like something that escaped him. And maybe it had. Suzaku had a hard time believing that Sawazaki would have been so eager to invite Charles into his kingdom if he had known the full story. It was Kirihara that Suzaku was less sure about, but he was sure that the old man would have filed some part of that away for all the favorable things that Charles would bring with him.

Sawazaki was still working through the request when Charles stepped forward, the motion enough to make Suzaku shift in front of Lelouch. There was something in their meeting that Lelouch hadn’t calculated on, something big that they both had missed. They had both thought that the alliance between Japan and Britannia would be a rough one and that both parties would be ready to turn on each other, but they had been wrong. It was all too easy to imagine Kirihara or one of the other lords being given rights within the new Britannian Area while Guinevere was given the position of viceroy. Their former opposition didn’t mean much, not when they were stuck in their current trap.

Suzaku just wished that he had seen it before instead of being caught up in Lelouch.

Charles seemed to delight in their confusion, the man resting a hand on his daughter’s shoulder. Charles didn’t move it away, not even when Guinevere obviously rolled her shoulder to get out of her father’s hold. He just smiled at the two of them, looking every inch the benign emperor that Suzaku knew he wasn’t.

“I’m pleased that we could get you back, Guinevere. I expect the rest of our deal will be carried out as we agreed.” Charles looked over at where Kirihara was standing.

From the way that Kirihara was gripping the end of his cane there was a chance that Khe would refuse outright and walk away. After all, to agree would get them more entangled with Britannia.

Suzaku stared at his father’s councilor, waiting for Kirihara to say something. If he didn’t, then Japan would fall to Britannia anyway. Out of all of the people he Edo, he knew how easily a shogun could be pushed out of place. Things happened on the battlefield, things that couldn’t be proven.

He opened his mouth to speak, flinching when Kirihara shook his head and turned away. “Guards.”

Suzaku’s stomach twisted when he saw the guards move forward. He didn’t like their odds against the ten of them, not when five more were waiting on horseback. Not when he was sure that Kirihara and Charles would make sure that one of them got back to the army to spread the news. Tohdoh was a good general, but Suzaku was sure that the Britannian forces would break ranks, especially with their prince captured.

He flung his arm out to forestall Lelouch, taking a step back until he felt it bump against Lelouch’s chest. Suzaku doubted that Lelouch even noticed his efforts, not when the prince was practically lunging forward. “WE HAD AN AGREEMENT!”

Kirihara lifted his chin slightly, giving the two of them an even look. “We do not treat with murders.”

“But I didn’t do it!” Suzaku turned to grab Lelouch more firmly as the prince attempted to push past him. “Why would I want to? They were my _family_.”

“But you didn’t love them, not like Nunnally.” Charles didn’t bother to hide his glee now, not when they were backed into a corner. The man just took a step back behind the shield of the guards. “There are plenty of people who remember you saying that you would do anything to save Nunnally. And this would do it. Order your guards to kill the rest of the royal family and pretend to mourn while they heaped support on you. Then you seduce your wrongfully taken slave to get an army to invade Japan. You’ve even styled yourself emperor with your pretensions. They did warn me that the people from the hills were unstable.”

“Shut up!”

“Lelouch.”

The prince didn’t seem to hear him, Lelouch too busy scrambling for the sword that hung on his waist. Suzaku struggled to get a better hold on Lelouch, looking frantically between the guards and their own small force as Lelouch continued to shout. “What do you know about anything? You had my mother and your brother killed on a whim. You killed my brothers and sisters to prove a point. You killed _Rolo!_ You would have let Guinevere stay with someone you accused of murder because you couldn’t find her useful. What right do you have to accusing me like this?!”

Charles just shook his head and turned away, that move seeming to anger Lelouch more than anything else.

Suzaku braced himself the best he could, rocking when Lelouch tried to struggle out of his arms. He couldn’t allow the prince to attack, not when so much was at stake. Their best chance of winning with the odds staked against them was Lelouch, and handing him over would be playing right into their hands.

He grunted as Lelouch elbowed him in the stomach, automatically taking a step back. The space that opened was more than enough for Lelouch to get his hand on his sword. Suzaku threw a panicked glance at the guards, watching them all shift to stand between Sawazaki and Guinevere, although some of them moved to protect Kirihara. If Lelouch had been in his right mind he would have noticed the danger and stopped to think what it meant, but Suzaku doubted that Lelouch was thinking at all. Seven years of hurt and anger had taken over.

Suzaku threw a look back over his shoulder, relieved to see Kallen and Rivalz bearing down on them. The two of them would take care of Lelouch no matter what happened. It hurt to pass Lelouch over and to give up on the promises that he had made to himself, but Suzaku couldn’t think of a way out of their situation that wouldn’t leave to one of them dead. In the end, he was the only one out of all of them that was remotely close to being expendable.

He shoved Lelouch back as he stepped forward, trusting Kallen and Rivalz to grab the prince before he got himself into any more trouble. He forced himself to keep moving, drawing his sword as he came to stand directly in front of Kirihara and Charles. Suzaku got a moment to see the look of surprise on their faces before the guards changed their target.

Suzaku didn’t bother to move as they rushed him. He gasped as two grabbed his hand, quickly letting go of his sword. Even then they pulled his hand back until they were sure that he wouldn’t move. That didn’t stop them from pulling him back roughly, Suzaku gasping as one kneed him in the stomach.

He pitched forward, the guards using the motion to tie his hands behind his back. Suzaku wheezed out his next breath, glancing around at the guards. None of them looked sympathetic to him, not that he expected them too. He let his head drop forward, trying to drown out the sound of Lelouch shouting his name.

He kept his gaze on the ground until one of the guards jerked his head up by his hair. Suzaku twitched, but didn’t move beyond that. He found himself meeting Kirihara’s gaze, the old man shaking his head. “I tried to save you, boy, and this is how you repay me.”

Suzaku narrowed his eyes, hoping that his expression said enough. He knew exactly what Kirihara had been hoping to save him for, a replacement if Sawazaki didn’t turn into the malleable shogun that the council thought he was. Kirihara probably expected him to return a beaten man, one that would be so grateful for rescue that he would do everything the old man said. He was glad that he had managed to disappoint that.

Kirihara sighed and tapped his cane against the ground. Suzaku was sure that the old man glanced over at where Charles was safe on his horse before turning away from him.

He bowed slightly to Charles. “I should thank you, your majesty, for helping us find this man.”

Charles’ expression contorted slightly before the emperor seemed to understand. Suzaku thought he saw disappointment on the emperor’s face before Charles nodded. “I appreciate allies who keep their promises.”

There was a hint of a warning in the statement, one that Kirihara couldn’t miss. It was almost worth it to see the old man shift in place. It was obvious that there were gaps in the agreements that the two of them had made. That would help Lelouch, but not him. Suzaku doubted that he would be able to wiggle out of the situation that he had gotten himself into. And there was a part of him that didn’t want to. It would mean giving up on trying to find Nunnally, but would at least manage to save Lelouch, and that was the more important thing. Lelouch had dreams and plans for the world, and he would carry them out. Suzaku was just a soldier in the end, one who had drawn his weapon in the presence of the shogun twice.

It was over for him, and Suzaku hadn’t expected that knowledge to come with such a feeling of relief.

He let his head drop forward as soon as the guards let go of it, putting up no fight as they hauled him up. He expected to be secured to one of the horses, or take a hold of for the march back to Edo.

The guards hadn’t done more than pull him back into their group when he heard a shout from Lelouch. Suzaku looked over in time to see Lelouch struggle out of Rivalz’s hold, the prince pushing at Kallen even as he tried to step forward. “Stop! You have no right to take him.”

Kirihara chuckled, the old man shaking his head. “We have every right. He drew his sword in the presence of the shogun, which is an act punishable by death. I am within my rights to order him killed right now, but there’s the matter of his other crimes to consider.”

“What other crimes?”

Suzaku took a deep breath, not daring to look over at Kirihara as he spoke. Of all the people that Lelouch could hear the truth from, he didn’t want it to be Kirihara. Besides, he had kept the secret for long enough. It was time to stop lying to Lelouch.

He looked up to meet Lelouch’s gaze, regretting the panic he saw there even as he spoke. “I killed my father.”

Lelouch recoiled, Suzaku glad that Rivalz had the presence of mind to reach out and grab Lelouch again. It didn’t look like Lelouch even noticed, he was too busy staring at Suzaku. “No. Everyone said that-”

“It was a lie.”

Lelouch sagged forward, looking like he was about to fall over. “Suzaku…”

Suzaku looked away as Charles laughed, not wanting to face the look of betrayal on Lelouch’s face. He preferred to stare at the feet of the guards and the Emperor of Britannia mocked his son.

“Did you think that they would just hand over their own shogun for no reason? Did you think that you had just gotten lucky that the one person you hated the most fell into your lap? For someone who believes that he can run the empire, you are horribly naïve. Why else would he have been given to you?”

Suzaku thought he heard Lelouch say his name again, but he didn’t dare look back to make sure. He didn’t want to watch anymore, he wanted to be far away while Lelouch figured out what it had all meant. He didn’t want to be there for the moment when Lelouch tried to decide if everything they were to each other had been a lie to get Suzaku to this point. Because it hadn’t been, but Suzaku wasn’t sure if that would help Lelouch or just hurt him more.

Thankfully, Kirihara seemed to tire of the taunting. He cleared his throat. “Lord Sawazaki.”

Sawazaki lifted his head and nodded, carrying his son back over to his horse. “The exchange is done.”

Lelouch made a choked noise, Suzaku biting his lip to keep himself still. He had done everything he could to keep Lelouch alive, everything that he could to make up for the mistake that had led them to this point. It was over.

He watched as Sawazaki and Guinevere walked in front of him, surprised when Guinevere paused to look at him. He lifted his head slightly to meet her gaze, not surprised by the coolness there. She had been treated well as a prisoner, but that hadn’t mitigated the fact that she had been a prisoner and that sort of thing was not easily forgotten.

Suzaku went to duck his head, surprised when Guinevere reached out and slapped him. He reeled with the motion, only stopping when she grabbed his hair and yanked his head up.

He could hear Lelouch shouting somewhere off to his left, but it was easy to ignore the sound when Guinevere was leaning close to glare at him. “That was for daring to hold me hostage.” She leaned closer, Suzaku expected another slap. Instead Guinevere lowered her voice to a whisper. “I have not forgotten what my father has done. The gate will open for Lelouch. I will see to it.”

She pushed away from him and walked off, leaving Suzaku stunned. He watched as Sawazaki helped her up onto his horse, Guinevere accepting her son and cradling him close. When she looked back over at him, she gave him the slightest of nods, Suzaku’s confusion giving way to understanding.

He wanted to thank her, but that would give everything away so he kept silent. That didn’t stop the smile from crossing his face as the guards shoved him along.

Japan was going to be freed of the Britannian threat. Lelouch would be safe. Nunnally would be found.

And he would finally get to atone for what he had done.


	35. Arrears

The camp was in an uproar, Lelouch could hear it through the walls of his tent, but he found it hard to pick out words. He found it hard to make sense of anything.

Suzaku was going to die.

He had planned everything so carefully from the start, back when he had first heard what his father had done with Nunnally and probably before that. Maybe even as far back as when he had heard that Marianne had been killed. Suzaku had messed up his plans a little, but never enough to make them impossible. Taking Japan would be helpful, because it would mean that he would be allowed the run of the place while he looked for Nunnally. It meant that he’d have another ally in fighting with his father. It meant that he’d have a way to at least try to make up the things that had happened in Pendragon. It wouldn’t have ever been enough, but Lelouch hadn’t been able to think of anything else that would begin to cover it. Giving Suzaku back his kingdom was the biggest gesture that he could think of even when some part of him had just wanted Suzaku to stay.

It wouldn’t matter in the end. Suzaku was probably already dead.

Lelouch rocked forward, grabbing onto the table before he could smack his face against it. He gasped for breath, the sound too loud in the close quarters of the tent. What he wanted to do was scream, but the sound wouldn’t work its way out of his throat. All he could do was stare at the table and the map that was spread across it, the one that he and Suzaku had spent hours working on as they worked their way to their victory.

But it hadn’t ever been theirs. It had only been his.

He understood now, the horror of the understanding unfolding within him. Suzaku had always wanted to die, after he had overheard the admission it was easier to look back on all of Suzaku’s actions. In hindsight, it had been obvious. He’d just been so caught up in making sure that Suzaku was kept close to him and in motion that he had never bothered to try and question the root of the problem. He’d made a hundred assumptions that he’d disregarded because he didn’t want to think about them. But now he knew, and it made everything else make sense too.

His father had been right, he _had_ thought that he had been lucky. Suzaku Kururugi, the man responsible for his sister’s long absence, had just been tossed into his lap and no one else had known who he was. And he was every bit the idiot that he had called Suzaku for not seeing that it wasn’t true.

Lelouch closed his eyes against the hot sting of tears, trying to get his breathing to even out, but it kept coming in short gasps. He lifted one hand from the table, pressing it against his mouth to muffle the sound.

The Japanese part of their army was reeling from the fact that Suzaku had been captured. Lelouch hadn’t had the heart to tell them why, because he knew that it would have shattered them and because Suzaku would have never wanted it. It was bad enough that they were looking to him for their orders now, calling on him like he was some kind of savior, not like he’d walked Suzaku to his death and thought nothing of it the entire time. They didn’t need him breaking down and mourning a man that they still thought that they could save.

Lelouch knew what would happen, because he would be expected to be leading the charge. He wouldn’t have let anyone else lead the charge, but feared what he would see there, because he would be the first. The first to see what they did to Suzaku or the first to find his body and he didn’t know if he could stomach it and move on. Lelouch had the sneaking suspicion that he couldn’t.

He dug his nails into his cheek, trying to muffle his sobs back into silence, but he couldn’t quite keep some of the sounds from escaping. Lelouch squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push through the horrible surety that he would be too late.

He should have fought back against Kallen and Rivalz instead of allowing them to bundle him onto his horse and ride away. He should have gone after Suzaku, laws about drawing a weapon in front of the shogun be damned. Lelouch wouldn’t have been able to fight off all the guards, but he was sure that Suzaku could make up the difference. If he had done that, then Suzaku would have been by his side and he would have been able to ride into Edo without a problem. They would have had the city, and probably the country considering everything that they had heard on the way over. What would have happened after that Lelouch didn’t know, he hadn’t let himself think that far. But at least it would have been better than knowing that whatever it could have been would never happen.

Lelouch ducked his head, carefully pulling his hand away from his mouth. He could feel the tears still running down his face, but at least he wouldn’t give away the fact that he was breaking down.

He grabbed onto the edge of his sleeve, holding it tightly as he wiped it across his face. He doubted the motion did much to clean up his face, but at least it got him to focus. He had an army to lead, one that would be champing at the bit to get into Edo. If that wasn’t enough, then perhaps getting revenge on the people who had dared to touch what was _his_ would be.

Lelouch pushed away from the table, not quite ready to turn around and look at his armor. He could always call on his squires, but he couldn’t help his mind from flicking back to the way Suzaku had helped him with it. The way Suzaku had always made sure that Lelouch’s armor was safe.

He clenched his hands into fists, ignoring the sharp bite of pain as his nails dug into his palms. He couldn’t think about things like that, not if he wanted to be able to do anything.

He took a few deep breaths, trying to center himself. It was a foolish thing to be hesitant about doing, and all because of one man. If he’d had the energy, he would have cursed Suzaku instead of mourning him.

Maybe his mother had been right. Maybe it would have been easier if he had kept everyone he loved at arm’s length.

Lelouch shook his head, looking up quickly when the flaps of his tent opened. He fully expected to see one of the captains or General Tohdoh, anyone but C.C.

The woman’s attention was on something moving behind her in the camp, C.C. sighing as she stepped into the tent. “So this is where you’ve been. They’ve had people looking for you. They’ve spotted-” C.C. cut herself off as she looked at him, Lelouch sure that she saw the tears that he had been trying to hide.

She stayed on the far side of the table for a moment before quickly walking around and gathering him close.

Lelouch tensed at the sudden affection, not sure what to do when C.C. had spent most of her time teasing him. It would have been easy just to push her away, but he found himself sinking into the embrace. He unclenched his fists and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, surprised that C.C. let him.

She huffed, Lelouch not sure if it was in disgust or as a sign of approval. It was hard when he couldn’t see her face and, from the way she was holding him, she wasn’t going to let him move until she was done.

C.C. held him for a few moments more before pushing him away and holding him at arm’s length. “I heard.”

“It’s not exactly a secret.”

She raised an eyebrow before letting go of him and walking over to his armor. Lelouch turned to watch her, surprised when she began taking it off the stand.

If she noticed his surprise, she didn’t comment on it. She just kept laying the armor out in a careful order along his cot. He noticed that her fingers lingered over Marianne’s lightning sigil for a moment longer than they should have, but then she stepped away. “They need you.”

“I know.”

“Then you’ll know that there’ll be plenty of time for that later.” Lelouch bristled a bit, but C.C. continued to stare him down. “You knew this would happen.”

“I didn’t.”

“You knew he wanted to die and that he loved you. None of this is a surprise.”

Lelouch opened his mouth to argue with her, but he quickly snapped it shut. C.C. was right, even if it wasn’t the words that he wanted to hear. Suzaku was exactly the kind of idiot that would throw his life away for a cause, especially since he thought his own life was worthless.

And Lelouch was just the kind of idiot who would charge in after him to make sure that it didn’t happen.

He sighed and nodded, surprised when the expression on C.C’s face softened. She stepped away from the cot, reaching out to rest her hand against his cheek. “I’ll be here for you when that time comes.”

“I know.”

C.C. patted his cheek, a fond smile crossing her face. “Don’t you dare get killed out there.”

Lelouch reached up to pull her hand away, hearing her laugh. He didn’t intend on dying, not when there were so many things that he would leave undone behind him. Suzaku may have been gone, but he could at least finish everything that he had promised him. That was the best he could do, and he felt that Suzaku would appreciate it. Before a battle was not the appropriate time to mourn.

He wiped his eyes again, glad that C.C. pretended like she didn’t know what he was doing. It was easier that way. It was surprisingly easy to force the ache in his chest back, turning it into anger. That he knew how to deal with. It seemed like his life had been made up of nothing but anger and using it to deal with the problems that he saw.

Lelouch took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He had a shaky hold of himself, but it would be enough to lead the army. Besides, the soldiers wouldn’t want to see him unaffected by what had happened. They wanted him to be as anguished and angry as they were. Lelouch was sure that he could give them that, he was riding that edge himself anyway.

He stepped around C.C, reaching for his armor only to have her slap his hands away. Lelouch glanced down at where she rested a hand on his wrist, gently guiding him back from the armor. “There’s something you need to take care of first.”

Lelouch gave her a confused look, but she didn’t bother to explain. She just pushed him towards the front of the tent.

He stumbled forward a step, managing to get his balance before Gino rushed into the tent. The knight nodded at him before motioning outside. “You’re needed. They’re approaching with flags of truce.”

Lelouch felt a chill run up his spine. He almost wanted to shout at Gino that it couldn’t be true. It would fit in with what he had heard and seen about Sawazaki and his council, but not with his father, not unless the Japanese had decided that they didn’t need Charles after all. But he didn’t want it to be true because he wanted so badly to be able to lash out.

It took him a moment for him to gather his thoughts together enough to ask, “Who?”

Gino shrugged, Lelouch a little bit relieved about that. If it had been the shogun’s forces or Charles, Gino would have recognized any sigils immediately. If the knight was hesitating, it meant that he still had a chance.

He watched Gino shift nervous in place for a moment before the knight shrugged again. “I don’t know, it’s a flower and a butterfly together.”

Lelouch stared at Gino, his heart beating faster. He knew that design and been warned of what it meant. _“That’s a shame, the pattern is all the rage.”_

He rushed to the front of the tent, ducking around Gino as he stepped out into the activity of the camp. The soldiers glanced at him before continuing with their business, all of them giving ground as he pushed his way through them towards the edge of the camp. He could see the chrysanthemum and butterfly banner streaming beside the red lightning slash and the phoenix. Lelouch quickly looked away from the latter, not wanting to see the symbol he connected so completely with Suzaku. It was easier to keep his gaze on the knot of soldiers that were standing around.

Lelouch walked through them, his apprehension growing with the way that they were giving way to him so easily and the quick glances that he was given. He heard them muttering his name as he passed through, carefully schooling his face into a neutral expression so he would be ready by the time that he made it to the front of the crowd.

He pushed his way to the front, coming to a stop beside General Tohdoh. He nodded at the man, surprised when Tohdoh didn’t even look his way. Lelouch shifted in place, looking over at the young woman who was riding into camp.

His heart sped up at the sight of the young woman’s green eyes, recognizing them before he shook his head. They looked so much like Suzaku’s eyes, but they weren’t his. If anything, the woman was related to Suzaku, one of the few surviving members of his family. Lelouch glanced over at the woman’s sigil before stepping forward and offering to help the woman down from her horse.

To his surprise, she shook her head and drew her horse in, preferring to look at Tohdoh. “General, I thought I’d find you here.”

“Lady Sumeragi.” Tohdoh bowed slightly, but his gaze never left her. “I had heard rumors…”

“Like the rumors about my cousin.” The woman laughed and sat back in the saddle. “I was hoping that they’d be more interesting. I was also hoping that I’d be the only one, but it looks like Suzaku found his own allies.” The woman bowed slightly to him. “Prince Lelouch.”

“Lady Sumeragi.” It took more effort than he thought he would to get the words out. He should have paid more attention to what Claus had said when they had met with the cloth merchant and what little he had managed to gather about what had happened to his sister. He’d heard that Nunnally had been taken to a prominent and loyal family, which of course meant the Sumeragis. And, considering the news that Kaguya had disappeared at the same time that Nunnally had as well as the chrysanthemum sigil that was connected to the house, he should have added it all up sooner. But there had been other things that had occupied his time.

He looked up at her in time to catch her smile, thrown off a little by it. It was too similar to Suzaku’s for his taste. He swallowed and took a few quick steps back, relieved when Kaguya let him without drawing attention to the move. As far as he could see, her attention was given strictly to Tohdoh.

She pulled her horse around, making room for the next contingent that was approaching the camp. “I’ve come to offer my help with your venture, considering that we are on the same side. If it is acceptable to you and your Britannian allies, of course.”

There was no way that they could refuse, even if they had been sure of their numbers. Lelouch had never been able to figure out how many soldiers Charles had brought with him. Besides, all of the Japanese army was concentrated around Edo to defend their capital, the soldiers forced into retreat by the two armies that were coming down from the north. It would be better to fuse their forces, especially with it meant that they could deploy better maneuvers or surround the city for a siege. More options were always better. Besides, he had no real reason to turn them away.

He nodded, motioning for the crowd to step back. “Bring you generals to the main tent and we’ll…”

He trailed off as he saw the person riding up towards them. His heart started beating faster, Lelouch taking a slow step forward. “Nunnally.”

Lelouch was sure that he had spoken too softly for his sister to actually hear him, but she looked over at him anyway. He watched as her face lit up.

“Lelouch!”

He ran up to her, reaching her just in time as she tipped herself off her horse. Lelouch reached out to catch her, grunting as he took her full weight to his chest. He twisted slightly so he would land on the ground instead of Nunnally. Lelouch smiled when Nunnally reached back to cradle his head so he wouldn’t smack it against the ground. He laughed and held her close, feeling Nunnally press a kiss to the top of his head.

“Got you.”

“Me too.”

Lelouch pulled back slightly so he could look at her face, Nunnally was smiling just like he remembered, although her hair was longer than when he had seen it last, and she wore it differently. He touched the braid that had fallen over her shoulder before pulling his hand back. His gaze darted up to the butterfly ornament in her hair, something in him unknotting at the understanding. “I’ve been looking for you in all the wrong places.”

Nunnally shook her head, rolling so she was sitting on the ground instead of on his stomach. She reached for his hand, holding it tightly between her own.

Lelouch propped himself up on his elbows, looking away from his sister as Gino approached him. The knight bowed briefly to Nunnally before dropping into a crouch. “Your highness, we’ve gotten word that troops are moving out of Edo. It’s early stages but…”

Lelouch nodded, giving his sister a quick glance. What he wanted to do was take Nunnally back to his tent and talk with her, maybe use the time to distract himself from what he would be marching towards. But he didn’t have that time, it was more important to try and mesh their armies together to march against Sawazaki and Charles. It would be the move that neither of them would expect. It would be a sure victory.

He pushed himself up to his feet, stepping to the side to allow Nunnally’s attendants to help her back onto her horse. Lelouch looked back at his sister, his gaze lingering on her before he fell into step with Gino.

If he wanted his moment of peace, he would have to push on with his plans. Before he could give Nunnally his full attention, he would need to focus on his revenge.


	36. Presentiment

Suzaku stared at the man standing in the doorway, finally startling into motion the blood started to stain Sawazki’s kimono. He scrambled to his feet, Suzaku backing away until his back hit the wall.

He watched as Sawazaki swayed in place before the man fell face first onto the floor. Suzaku snapped his gaze up, fully expecting to see another one of the council or one of the Britannian guards standing behind Sawazaki. It would make sense to take out any competition for the throne of Japan in one fell swoop, especially if Charles had decided to make his bid for power before the battle happened.

Or the battle had already happened and Charles was just cleaning up the loose ends.

Instead he found himself staring at Lelouch. The prince was panting heavily, like he had run all the way from the gates of Edo to get to the cells. From the panicked look on Lelouch’s face, Suzaku suspected that he had done just that.

He pushed away from the wall, taking a slow and cautious step towards Lelouch. No matter how much he wanted to, he didn’t immediately rush forward, not while Lelouch was still holding his sword out. And not when Lelouch was staring at him like he had seen a ghost.

Suzaku reached out, resting his fingers against the back of Lelouch’s extended hand before he stepped closer to Lelouch’s side. “Hey-”

“He was going to kill you.” Lelouch glanced over at him before he looked down at the body on the floor. “I…I heard the order go out to kill you before the castle was taken and I just…I was almost too late.”

Suzaku sighed and tipped his head so it could rest against Lelouch’s. He was relieved when Lelouch leaned into him, because it meant that Lelouch was relaxed enough so he could guide the sword down. “You weren’t.”

“I could have been. I thought you were already dead.” Lelouch gave a full body shiver at that, Suzaku quick to wrap an arm around Lelouch’s shoulders.

What he wanted to ask was why Lelouch had bothered to risk so much coming after him. There were plenty of more important things to focus on than a man convicted by his own words. Lelouch had dreams to fulfil and they wouldn’t be finished in the cells of the castle. Still, it was hard to push Lelouch away when the prince looked so shaken.

He turned his head against Lelouch’s, tempted to press a kiss against the prince’s temple, but he held himself back. There was a time and a place for that, and what they had was neither. Suzaku could still hear the sounds of the assault on the castle from outside the cells. If he could hear them, then Lelouch’s forces had pushed into the castle. They would be missing their general soon enough.

Suzaku pushed away from Lelouch, tempted to give the prince another push towards the stairs, but he was sure that Lelouch wouldn’t go. There was nothing he could think of to get Lelouch to leave him, not when Lelouch had stormed the castle for him. Still, that didn’t calm his confusion.

He glanced down at Sawazaki’s body before looking away, unable to stand the sight of blood spreading out from under the corpse. “Why?”

Lelouch stared at him in shock before shoving his sword roughly into his scabbard. “Because he was going to kill you.”

“Not that. Why did you come to save me?”

“Because they were going to kill you.”

“Lelouch.”

The prince glared at him before turning around and walking away. It was obvious that Lelouch expected him to follow, but Suzaku stayed in place.

He didn’t dare go back up to the troops, not when the truth had come out. It didn’t matter that most of the people who knew the truth would be dead by the time the capital was taken, Suzaku himself would do it. As soon as Edo was secure, he knew that Tohdoh and the army would try to declare him shogun and Suzaku couldn’t allow that. It would be too much like a reward after what he had done. Besides, he was tired of the lie, tired of all of them looking at him like he was the one that would save them.

Suzaku looked up at an impatient sound from Lelouch, not daring to budge from his place. He shook his head when Lelouch motioned for him to follow. “No. Just tell me why.”

“Suzaku…”

“You know it’s true! You’re couldn’t believe that it was just luck that I was sent to Pendragon!”

Lelouch sighed and leaned against the nearest wall, the only sign of his need to keep moving the steady drumming of his fingers against his leg. “I didn’t think much about it, and you know why. But I’ve thought about it and I decided that I don’t care.”

“What?”

“I don’t care because there are bigger things to take care of.”

“I killed my father!”

“And I’m about to kill mine!” Lelouch practically snarled the words out. “I’m going to do it because he’s gone far beyond what anyone should be allowed to do and the law in Britannia won’t do anything about it. You know what he’s done, Suzaku.”

“I’m not talking about your father, I’m talking about mine.”

“Was he any better? Really?”

Suzaku bristled at that, opening his mouth to defend Genbu before he snapped it shut. He turned his gaze away from Lelouch, preferring to stare at the wall.

Genbu had been distant and busy, but Suzaku could remember the few times that his father had looked at him with pride. Still, that didn’t make much of a difference. He was still the same man who had argued that Nunnally should be married off at twelve to secure their alliance with Britannia. He had still be willing to go to war against Britannia just to grab more land. Suzaku didn’t know what else Genbu had planned, because he had been away most of the time, and that idea frightened him to. But that still didn’t give him the right to kill his father. He wasn’t ready to be judge, jury and executioner like Lelouch was.

He bit his lip, shifting in place. “I…”

“You don’t know, do you?”

“I know it’s not the same thing.”

“It isn’t.” He heard the scuff of boots on the floor, Suzaku looking up as Lelouch crossed the room.

It took everything he had to keep from reaching for Lelouch, and the prince noticed. Suzaku winced as Lelouch stopped short of him, the prince resting a hand on the top of his sword. Suzaku watched the prince’s fingers curl around the end of the sword, probably in lieu of reaching out for him. Suzaku watched them drum there for a moment before Lelouch stopped the motion.

From the huff that he heard, Lelouch was probably considering what better things they could be doing and Suzaku was aware of them too. The army was pushing through Edo and they would need to be there to command their movements.

Then Lelouch straightened his shoulders and took a half step to close the distance between them. Suzaku found himself looking into Lelouch’s eyes, his mouth opening to make some sort of excuse to duck away, but Lelouch was looking at him with such determination that Suzaku doubted that he would get away with anything. Lelouch still didn’t reach out to touch him, but it was a close thing.

Lelouch took a deep breath, Suzaku watching some of the tension leak out of him. “It isn’t the same thing at all, and I won’t ask you to do this. But what happens after depends on you. And don’t say you’ll give yourself up again, because I won’t let that happen.”

“Lelouch…”

“It’s won’t accomplish anything and you know it. All it will do is that it’ll leave Japan shaken and without a leader.”

“They’re not going to accept me as shogun if they know.”

“Why would they have to know?” Lelouch tipped his head to the side, giving in a moment later when Suzaku glared at him. It was a relief that Lelouch gave so easily, because it meant that he was listening. “Right, your sense of honor. That same sense of honor that makes you walk right into a sword. Why is that the only way you’ll forgive yourself? What does that accomplish?”

“I have to pay for what I’ve done.”

“And then what happens? Nothing. The problem is that your father wanted to start a war, how does you dying stop that? Wouldn’t it be smarter to stay alive and work out the problem? Make that your atonement instead of making the people who care about you suffer!”

Suzaku stared at Lelouch with wide eyes, watching as Lelouch panted for breath. It took Lelouch a moment to realize what he had said, Suzaku watching the blush cross Lelouch’s face.

The prince swayed in place for a moment before angrily gesturing at the cell. “I have a castle to secure. Wait here if you want, but I can’t ignore this.”

Suzaku watched Lelouch turn and storm off, almost not surprised by Lelouch’s reaction. He would have been more surprised if Lelouch _hadn’t_ stormed off after encountering an argument that he wouldn’t be able to win. If the battle hadn’t been the excuse than Suzaku was sure that Lelouch would have made one, but it would have put him in the same position.

He stepped away from the cell, leaning against the wall on the opposite side.

Lelouch was wrong, he didn’t intend on making the people around him suffer. It was entirely his own honor, because it was the only thing that he had, the one thing that mattered above all else. Except that it wasn’t true anymore

Suzaku frowned, digging his nails into his arm. Honor had meant the world to him, it was the one thing that he had been taught to uphold above all other things. But then the world had been filled with people who would do anything to get their way, things that went against the code that he’d been taught. Honor said that he should end his life in the cells, but it also told him that he should go after Lelouch because of all the things that they had promised each other.

He’d been good at finding the balance once, but somewhere along the line it had become more difficult. Suzaku was sure that he could blame it on many things - the Britannian court, Lelouch’s own skewed ideas of honor and vengeance – but that didn’t sit right with him either.

He wanted to free Japan from the looming threat of Britannia. He wanted to get Nunnally back to fix what he had done. He wanted to be able to make up for what he had done to his father instead of living the strange, blessed existence that he’d had.

He wanted to be with Lelouch.

Suzaku sighed and closed his eyes. There was no point in trying to weed out those thoughts, because those were the ones that he kept cycling back to. They were selfish and an escape from everything he had been taught, but that didn’t make them less real. That didn’t make him long for them any less.

He already couldn’t have Japan, his consciousness wouldn’t allow him to take the position that his father had held. It would be better to pass it off to Tohdoh or to find someone else to take control. Maybe it was time for the shogun to stop safeguarding the throne and hand it off to the next emperor. Maybe it was right that the shogunate ended with him.

_“In another life, I would have knighted you. I would have, without hesitation. In another life, I wouldn’t have to send you away.”_

His heart sped up at the thought, Suzaku opening his eyes and glancing at the door. He moved without thinking at first, taking a few slow steps before he broke into a run.

Suzaku rushed up the stairs, speeding up when he saw Lelouch standing at the door that led to the rest of the castle complex. It was close enough that Lelouch could have stepped through the door and out into the rest of the castle complex, but he hadn’t. He had waited.

Suzaku smiled and slowed down enough so that he wouldn’t smack right into Lelouch. From the way that the prince recoiled, he was still rushing in a bit too fast, but Suzaku didn’t care. He just wrapped his arms around Lelouch and pulled him close.

He fully expected Lelouch to freeze up, but the prince relaxed faster than Suzaku expected. He was tempted to pull back and look at Lelouch’s expression, but he was stopped by Lelouch’s fingers threading up into his hair. For a moment, Suzaku was sure that Lelouch was going to kiss him, but the prince just pulled his head forward until their foreheads were touching.

“Don’t do that again.”

Suzaku shook his head, not quite sure if he was promising not to or if he was disagreeing with what Lelouch said. All he had to go on was an impulse, the one that drove him to stick with Lelouch and the life he knew over charging into the unknown. He didn’t want Japan, he had never wanted Japan. At the end of everything, he was just a soldier and the longed for the same, simple life that he had heard all soldiers talking about. He wanted a home, peace and the one person that meant the most in the world to him.

His fingers slid across Lelouch’s armor, Suzaku reluctantly letting go of the prince. There were more important things to be focusing on and there would be plenty of time to talk about what his decision meant. Right now, it was better to focus on the goal they had come to Edo to achieve.

Suzaku stepped away from Lelouch, smiling with how easily Lelouch stepped towards him. It was good to have someone watching out for him, at least until he managed to grab a sword. Suzaku didn’t think he would be lucky enough to run across armor or the time to pull it all on, but he could at least put in some effort. He owed the soldiers who had followed him to Edo that much.

He waited for Lelouch to nod before opening the door and stepping right into Charles as the emperor thrust a knife into his stomach.

Suzaku gasped for breath, stumbling backwards even as he heard Lelouch shout. He saw Lelouch move to step in front of him and the clash of steel on steel. He got a glimpse of Charles’ face from over Lelouch’s shoulder, but then he lost sight of the two of them as he sprawled on the floor.

He felt a foot knock against him, Suzaku rolling away to keep from interfering with Lelouch’s legs. Even as he rolled he reached for his stomach, searching out the bright spot of pain there. His fingers slipped over the hilt of the knife, Suzaku tempted to tug it out before he remembered what Tohdoh had said. More soldiers died because they pulled weapons out of themselves instead of keeping them in. He shifted his hold so he was pressing against the wound, trying to stem the sluggish flow of blood with his own fingers.

He gritted his teeth, trying to suck in short breaths through them. Cecile would know what to do, or one of the surgeons that would be in the castle. None of them were strangers to wounds, they had all seen them during the practices that the guards had held on the grounds. But even that would have to wait, because Lelouch was fighting.

Suzaku cursed and planted his free hand on the ground, struggling to get up. All his limbs felt weak, all of his attention centered on the bright bite of pain in his stomach. He pressed his hand harder against the wound, feeling his fingers slip in the blood. It felt like a lot was coming out, the front of his clothes soaked with it, but he couldn’t stop.

He wasn’t going to let Lelouch die.

Suzaku managed to rock back onto his knees. He swayed in place, before keeling over towards the wall. Suzaku caught himself before he smacked into it, curling his fingers into the stone as he twisted to see Lelouch.

The two of them had moved out into the garden and out of his line of sight. Suzaku ducked his head, taking a few deep breaths before starting to push himself to his feet.

It was a painful process, Suzaku feeling like his legs were going to give out on him. He bit his lip until he tasted blood, but that pain didn’t drown out the one from his stomach.

He spread his fingers flat against the stone, taking a moment to rest before moving forward. He glanced over at the hand he had planted against the wall, shaking his head. He wouldn’t be able to take it off the wall, not without falling over. It would take too long to get up again, if he even had the strength to. He shifted slightly until his shoulder was against the wall before starting to walk.

It was more of a shuffle down the length of the wall, but it meant that he could keep most of his weight propped up against it instead of trusting his legs. Every step was a stabbing pain in his stomach, Suzaku breathing heavily before he had gone three steps. He leaned more heavily against the wall, trying to use the redistribution of his weight to move faster.

Thankfully it wasn’t far to the doorframe, Suzaku slowly covering the torturous inches around the corner and to the frame of the door. He braced himself there, leaning against the frame. It wasn’t the best place to stop, but Suzaku wasn’t sure that he could get further. As it was, he was already sliding down the frame. He tried to brace himself more securely against the wood, his feet slipping on the floor. Suzaku turned his head, jamming one foot against the other side of the doorway to keep himself steady. It kept him from sliding down further, but it also kept him from moving.

Suzaku groaned and looked across the garden. Without another wall to brace himself against there was no way he would get more than a few steps into the garden before he collapsed. That wouldn’t do anything but distract Lelouch from the fight, and that would end up getting Lelouch killed.

He tipped his head to the side, leaning it up against the door. He tried to ignore the way that the one leg he was using to hold most of his weight was shaking. Even wedged in the door there was no guarantee that he would stay upright for long.

Suzaku adjusted his hold on the door frame, readying to try and push himself up into a more upright position when he caught sight of Lelouch. He turned in the doorway watching as the prince was driven back towards the cells.

Charles made the action look effortless, the emperor more comfortable with a sword that Suzaku expected. Then again, Lelouch wasn’t the best sword fighter and he was wearing full armor. It would protect him from the worst of the sword blows, but all Charles needed was a stroke to Lelouch’s head and it would all be over. Charles hadn’t had any qualms in killing his other children, nor in trying to kill Lelouch before. For the emperor, it would just be another annoyance to check off his list.

Suzaku shifted his hold around the knife in his stomach, halfway tempted to pull it out and throw it at Charles as soon as the emperor got close enough. With the way his hands were shaking he couldn’t be sure of his aim, but it would be enough of a distraction to give Lelouch a chance. It would be breaking his promise to Lelouch, but the prince alive was far better than Lelouch being dead

He curled his fingers around the hilt of the knife, his fingers slipping as he tried to get a good hold. Suzaku hissed as he pulled the knife out slightly, feeling the warm rush of blood as it was shifted. He dropped his hand from the hilt, pressing the side of his head harder against the frame. His eyes fluttered shut, Suzaku tempted to just keep them closed. It would be easier than fighting, it would be getting everything that he wanted.

Except that there were still people who needed him, still things that he wanted to do.

He forced his eyes open, searching for Lelouch again. It took him a while, his vision fading in and out of focus. Suzaku shook his head, pressing his hand against the wound, putting just enough pressure on it to keep him focused.

Lelouch was being backed his way again, the prince not bothering to try to draw Charles to one side or the other anymore. From the way that Lelouch held himself, he was exhausted and Charles was taking advantage of that. The emperor wasn’t making wide swings anymore, his strikes were deliberately aimed, and Suzaku watched them scrape along Lelouch’s enameled armor.

He winced when he saw one of the sides of the armor cave slightly under the force of one strike, Lelouch stumbling back. Suzaku jerked forward as Lelouch misstepped and a rock turned under his foot. Lelouch went down to his knees with a shout, the prince lifting his sword in time to block Charles’ next strike.

Suzaku jerked forward slightly, watching as Lelouch barely adjusted the cant of his blade even as Charles went for another strike.

He saw Lelouch’s shoulder jerk, but the prince didn’t move beyond a flick of his sword. That motion was just enough to bring the tip of his sword towards Charles’ heart as the emperor stepped forward.

Lelouch stood up, throwing himself forward at the same time. Suzaku didn’t see Lelouch’s blade sink in, but the look on Charles’ face was more than enough.

The emperor’s mouth gaped open, Charles looking down at Lelouch. Suzaku thought he saw Charles start to form a curse before the man started to topple forward. Lelouch stumbled to the side, letting go of his sword so Charles could fall freely.

The emperor of Britannia fell forward, Suzaku hearing a sharp ping as the sword snapped as the man’s full weight fell on it. He winced at the sound, but his attention quickly went to where Lelouch was panting for breath beside his father’s body.

He fully expected Lelouch to kick the body or do something else to express his anger, but Lelouch just looked shocked. The prince took a slow step back, his hand reaching for the knife in his belt, like he expected Charles to get up and charge at him again. But the emperor was still.

Suzaku sighed and relaxed, losing his carefully wedged position with the move. He jolted down a few inches before he was able to stop himself, but he wasn’t able to stop the whimper of pain from escaping him.

He groped for a better hold with his free hand, giving up a moment later to slide all the way to the floor. He groaned as he settled into a sitting position, giving into the urge to look down at the knife.

Most of the blood had soaked into his kimono and _obi_ , Suzaku wincing at the sight. He quickly looked away, sighing when he saw Lelouch looking at him.

The prince gave him a slow nod and stumbled over. Lelouch collapsed to his knees right neck to him, quick to claim Suzaku’s free hand. Lelouch squeezed it tightly before bending over him. “What are you doing here?”

“I was coming to save you.”

Lelouch made a noise that could have been a sob or a huff. Suzaku was tempted to tip his head up to check, but he didn’t have the energy for it. It was easier just to lean his head back against the doorframe. He wanted to close his eyes, but he wasn’t about to, not when he could feel Lelouch’s hand shaking in his own.

He turned his head, trying to move it so he could see Lelouch’s face, but the prince insisted on keeping his face buried in Suzaku’s hair. Suzaku tried a few more times before giving up. He sighed and tipped slightly to the side so he could lean into Lelouch. “I didn’t want to see you die.”

“I don’t want to see you die either, idiot.”

Suzaku was sure that he heard a sob at the end of that, but he purposefully didn’t call Lelouch on it. He just sighed and leaned his head against Lelouch’s chest plate. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but it was one that he could deal with for a while. He wanted to be close to Lelouch as long as he could before he was hauled off to the surgeons and Cecile, because he was sure that he would be at their mercy for a long while. And, knowing Lelouch, the prince would obey their orders to the letter.

He thought he felt Lelouch kiss the top of his head. Suzaku tipped his head back, about to ask what Lelouch was doing when the prince leaned down at kissed him properly.

His first instinct was the push into the kiss, but Lelouch’s hand dropped onto his shoulder and kept him still. Suzaku laughed against Lelouch’s lips and slumped back against the doorframe.

For a moment, it looked like Lelouch was going to speak, but the prince was interrupted by a loud cheer that went up from outside the castle walls. Lelouch tensed and turned to look at the sound, still holding Suzaku in place so he wouldn’t move. Suzaku rolled his eyes and leaned out the little Lelouch would allow him.

He could see into the garden and one of the corners of the castle wall, but it was more than enough. Suzaku watched in awe as the phoenix banner was stuck up into place, Lelouch’s lightning and the combination of the chrysanthemum and the butterfly following it.

Lelouch must have noticed it at the same time, because he leaned out like he wanted to walk over, like it was just their imagination. Suzaku squeezed Lelouch’s hand, not sure if he meant it as reassurance or a request for Lelouch to stay. It hardly mattered, not when Lelouch looked back at him with an awestruck expression. “We won.”

Suzaku laughed, cutting the sound off quickly when it hurt too much. He wanted to protest because it was hard to feel victorious when there was a knife in his stomach, but it was hard to deny the relief that he saw on Lelouch’s face. He settled for leaning into Lelouch and listening as their names were shouted to the sky.


	37. Abdicate

Kaguya watched him carefully, her hand still holding Nunnally’s. Suzaku lingered on their joined hands for a moment but he didn’t comment on it. There were more important things to work through. That and he doubted that either he or Kaguya had managed to come through their ordeals unchanged.

He had heard little bits of what had happened to Kaguya and Nunnally in the short times he had been awake and Cecile had allowed people in his room. The largest chunk of their adventure he’d heard from Nunnally herself while she and Lelouch had talked about it. Suzaku was sure that they had only talked because they had thought that he’d been asleep and Suzaku had been too eager to hear any news about what had happened to correct them.

Between running out of Japan for their own safety and dealing with an attempted coup in the Chinese Federation, it was no wonder the two of them were close. Where the line between friendship and lovers had been crossed Suzaku didn’t know, and he didn’t want to push to find out. It was none of his business, although it did make him feel guilty about what he was asking of them.

He licked his lips and looked up to meet his cousin’s gaze. Kaguya’s expression was still the careful mask she had worn during his entire explanation. Nunnally had been the one who reacted to what he had said with soft gasps and shakes of her head. If anything, that made it harder to judge what Kaguya was thinking, especially since everything he had done would end up affecting her more than Nunnally. If she accepted what he had planned, then she would be the one who couldn’t get away; Nunnally still had options left to her. Although, with the way that she was holding Kaguya’s hand, Suzaku doubted that it would be possible. The two of them looked like a united front, one that wouldn’t be breaking down.

Suzaku picked at the covers, careful to avoid the bandages on his stomach.

Cecile’s careful stitches were still in place and he didn’t dare endanger him, not while Cecile had lectured him while stitching him up. Even blacking out halfway through hadn’t saved him, she had just picked up where she had left off when he had returned to consciousness again.

He smoothed his hands over the blankets, trying to work out the best way to argue with his cousin, except that he didn’t feel like he would be able to win. He was possibly asking too much of her while he got away with everything that he ever wanted.

Suzaku cleared his throat. “I understand if you don’t-”

“Suzaku.” He snapped his mouth shut as Kaguya spoke. He looked up at her, unsure if he saw anger or determination on her face. Kaguya lifted one hand, making a dismissive motion with it. “There’s not a question of what I don’t want to do. There’s only one thing to do, especially if you plan on going through with this.”

He swallowed, taking a moment to gather himself again. “I can’t lie anymore, Kaguya. Everyone deserves to know.”

“They will call for your death.”

“I know.” Suzaku saw Nunnally’s hand tighten on Kaguya’s, but he pretended no to have.

Nunnally would have heard their side of the story from Lelouch at some point. The two of them had been apart for seven years, but even that could be covered in the space of two weeks, especially if they were going over what had happened recently. Suzaku could just imagine what Lelouch had told his sister, especially when he knew the things that Lelouch had said to him.

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to ignore the exhaustion that he felt. He had already been awake longer than he had managed before and his wound was starting to ache, but he couldn’t leave this alone. It had to be done before arrangements were made for him to take on his father’s position. Telling the new council how Genbu had really died now would be easier now than waiting for the official audience.

Suzaku opened his eyes again, shifting until he found a position that didn’t hurt as much. He rested a hand against the bandage for a moment before he let it drop back to his side. “I would have allowed that of them once.”

“And now?”

Suzaku lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t want to leave Japan plunging into civil war. You can claim family relation and right of conquest. And I won’t contradict you.”

Kaguya groaned and tipped her head back. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

“Why?”

“Because there will always be someone who wants you to come back.”

“That’s the reason I’m telling them the truth, and why it will be an official announcement from me.” Suzaku reached up to run a hand through his hair. “You’ll stay out of the whole thing.”

“I can’t. You brought me in to talk.”

“Well I couldn’t surprise you.” He gave her a shaky smile. “And I’m not here to beg you. I’m warning you that this is my plan and that you’re the first one that they can turn to. Knowing you, you can find a way to trace your ancestry back to the last emperor or you can just as easily wiggle out of this. But you deserve the chance to make up your mind.”

Kaguya sighed and looked back at him, her fingers stroking over the back of Nunnally’s hand. The motion looked absentminded, Suzaku doubting that Kaguya knew that she was doing it. And it made him feel guilty.

He had no right to ask Kaguya to give up what she had found so he could grab at his own happiness. Then again, he doubted that there was any other way to work out the situation in Japan. And he doubted that Kaguya would let anything else be taken away from her, she had steel in her now, something that Suzaku had never seen in her before. Or he had never noticed it.

He tipped his head to the side, watching the two of them have their quiet conversation. What he asked of Kaguya would only work if she agreed to help him. If not, then Suzaku was sure that he would have plenty of time to figure out what else he could do, but he couldn’t imagine just stepping back into the place that had been left for him. He was a different person now, and he was sure that he wouldn’t fit into that place anymore.

Kaguya seemed to come to some sort of decision because she stood up. Her hand lingered on Nunnally’s for a moment more before she let go and walked to his bedside. Suzaku pushed himself upright, feeling a slight thrill of fear run down his spine. It had been a long time since he had been so helpless, and that had been back in Britannia. Edo should have been safe, but it hadn’t been since the death of his father.

His cousin hovered by the side of his bed before sitting down on it. She reached out to pat his shoulder, Suzaku not sure what to make of the motion. He reached up to touch her hand but stopped halfway through the motion at the look on her face.

Kaguya remained silent for a moment more before shaking her head. “If I do this, then the announcement will come through a trial. You will have to kneel in the sand and listen to what everyone will say. And the best I would be able to get for you is exile.”

“That’s all I can ask for.”

“Suzaku, you won’t be able to come home again.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Edo was never home. I haven’t had a home since I was ten.”

“That’s not true.”

Suzaku wanted to disagree with her, but he kept his mouth shut. Kaguya was almost right, but Britannia wasn’t home, it would never be home. The place that felt most like those days back at the Kururugi Shrine, the hot, joyful days of his youth, was right beside Lelouch.

He tightened his hold on the covers, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke. “You haven’t actually said yes.”

“Do I have to? It means the end of the Britannian threat and it takes care of the one thing that could ruin it all in Japan. But that doesn’t mean that I’m happy about it.” Kaguya stood up, Suzaku surprised when she patted the top of his head.

He watched as Kaguya walked out of the room, even more surprised that she didn’t take Nunnally with her.

The Britannian princess just watched Kaguya go with a fond look on her face, remaining in place until the door had slid shut behind his cousin. Then she wheeled her chair forward until she was beside his bed. Nunnally rested her hands on the side of the bed, studying them carefully before she looked up at Suzaku.

“Since Kaguya is going to do this, I want you to make a promise to me too.” She didn’t wait for him to nod, Nunnally leaning forward. “Take care of my brother. Not like this, if you can avoid it because you frightened him. But, he needs someone to watch his back and it’s not fair to expect that from C.C. She does enough for him as it is.”

“I promise.”

“Good.” Nunnally looked at the door before smiling at him. “And I’ll see what I can do about that exile. Maybe an exchange of potential consorts would sound better.”

Suzaku felt the breath catch in his throat. After seeing Nunnally and Kaguya together he really hadn’t expected Nunnally to return to Britannia for good. But the phrasing sounded too much like what their fathers had been trying to do. “I don’t-”

“I know it sounds bad, but it’s just what everyone will expect with this alliance. Although they were probably expecting a different order.” Nunnally patted his hand again. “I’ll be back to talk to you soon, Suzaku. I think it would be best if the two of us stayed out of the affairs of state for a while.”

He could only nod in response, still trying to fit the Nunnally in front of him with the young woman he had known before. It was like looking at a completely different person, or maybe Nunnally had just come into her own. He would never know, because he had just taken the prize that Britannia had offered and never thought too much about it. And he regretted that, but it looked like he would have the time to rectify that mistake.

Suzaku settled back against the pillows as Nunnally turned her chair towards the door and started across the room. He only managed to track her partially across the room before his eyes started slipping shut. Suzaku struggled against the pull of exhaustion for a moment before giving in. He could afford to nap for a few hours. It would mean that he would be awake when he had to explain everything to Lelouch.


	38. Epilogue: Lief

Suzaku trailed behind Lelouch, still not used to the weight of the cape over his shoulders. He reached up to adjust the clasp at the front of it, his other hand resting on his sword belt. The whole outfit was a bit over the top for his tastes, but it was exactly what the royal court wanted to see.

He was the knight and consort of the emperor after all, and he was expected to look the part. That didn’t mean he was left wishing for a kimono or the simple clothes of Lelouch’s guard. They had always suited him more than anything Lelouch would wear.

He looked up from his clothes at the sound of boots scuffing against the floor. Suzaku nodded at the two guards standing outside the emperor’s rooms, purposefully ignoring the wink that Gino threw him. It was becoming the nightly send off for the two of them, appropriate or not. As soon as the two of them were in their rooms, Gino would haul the guard away to the end of the hallway, probably to spare whoever was on guard duty with him some embarrassment. Although, from the set of Lelouch’s shoulders, there wasn’t going to be much of that tonight.

Suzaku reached behind him to swing the door shut, watching as Lelouch slouched. He sighed and stepped forward, reaching out to pull the cape that Lelouch was wearing from his shoulders.

It was easy to find the broach that held it in place and slip it free, Suzaku had been doing it for the last few months. It was habit to catch the cape and fold it up, draping it over the back of Lelouch’s couch.

Suzaku was sure that Lelouch hadn’t noticed until he felt arms slip around his waist. He paused, looking back over his shoulder to see the top of Lelouch’s head. He felt Lelouch’s hand slide over his stomach, coming to rest over where his scar was. Suzaku sighed and dropped his hand to rest on top of Lelouch’s. “You can take a day off, you know.”

He heard a sound that could have been agreement, but Lelouch was quick to shake his head. “I can survive the week. Then I won’t have to bother with all of this.”

Suzaku sighed and tipped his head back and slightly to the side so he could rest it against Lelouch’s. “Only for two months, and then we come back.”

“By then they’ll be begging to have me back. Schneizel will drive them harder than I ever will.”

“So that’s why you asked him instead of Euphy.”

Lelouch nodded, the emperor finally lifting his head from Suzaku’s shoulder. “I’ve managed to get them to back down on some things, but not on anything important. Schneizel will work on wringing more out of them.”

“And then Euphy will be sent in with the middle ground?”

Lelouch smiled. “You know me so well.”

“I also know how your siblings prefer to run the government.” Suzaku stepped out of Lelouch’s embrace, fumbling with the clasp on his cape.

Now that they were in private he wanted nothing more than to be out of his formal clothes and into something more comfortable. It was all well and good for Lelouch to be in the full formal outfit, it was probably intimidating to the council members and nobles that he had to meet with. But, as far as Suzaku was concerned, there was no reason for him to be in formal attire when he was just going out to inspect the army and the garrisons that would be sent to the border. He was sure that all of them knew him by now and, if they didn’t, then they were purposefully avoiding him. But he was used to that.

Not everyone in Britannia was happy to have the emperor’s consort be Japanese.

Suzaku was sure that half of it came from the seven years of animosity between the two countries, at least on the part of the people. The nobles were probably annoyed because it meant that they couldn’t build up power. They were probably doubly annoyed because Lelouch had been purposefully chiseling away any chance of them gaining power. Not all of the Areas’ viceroys had been replaced with local people, but it was getting close, and that was just step one of Lelouch’s plans. Everything else would come with a struggle, one that Suzaku was sure that Lelouch could weather.

He dropped the cape over the back of the couch, working on the clasps and buttons that held the front of his coat shut. “Should I start coming to those meetings?”

“You’d be bored.”

“I’d been intimidating.”

From the way that the corner of Lelouch’s mouth twitched up Suzaku could tell that the emperor was tempted, but Lelouch was quick to shake his head. “Let me figure out a way to work around them. After that, it should get easier.”

Suzaku hoped it would, because it was strange to see Lelouch this worn out. Even when he had been trying to outthink his father or planning the attack on Edo he hadn’t seemed so exhausted. Or maybe Lelouch had just hit his limit. It had been a long seven years and, at the point where they both had thought that they could stop, they had to keep going. In Edo it had been Lelouch and Kaguya hashing out a treaty between their two nations and Lelouch standing up to all of the _daimyo_ of Japan to argue against Suzaku’s death sentence or exile. Then it had been back to Britannia to proclaim himself emperor and slog through the mess that Charles had left behind. Looking back on everything, Suzaku was surprised that Lelouch hadn’t collapsed.

He paused with his coat half undone, looking Lelouch over. Lelouch was too stubborn to show how much the work was taking out of him, but it was Suzaku’s job to keep a watch on Lelouch. He was the emperor’s knight, his sword against his enemies.

He sighed and held out his hand for Lelouch, tugging the emperor close as he soon as Lelouch accepted it. Suzaku heard Lelouch make a soft sound of surprise before the two of them were curled up on the couch.

It was a tight fit with the two of them, but Suzaku had mastered the balancing act needed. The couch had seen its fair share of the two of them tumbling onto it, although they were usually wearing less clothes.

He wrapped an arm around Lelouch’s waist, tugging him back against the curl of his own body. Lelouch went willingly, one hand reaching back to push into Suzaku’s hair. Suzaku hummed and went still, letting Lelouch wiggle into a comfortable position. He pressed a kiss against the back of Lelouch’s neck as soon as the emperor was still.

Even in the safety of their rooms, Lelouch was still tense. Suzaku was sure that he was still working over what needed to be done. He sighed and nuzzled his face into Lelouch’s hair.

No matter how much Lelouch talked about all the work that had to be done, they both needed the break that was coming up. Lelouch needed the time away from the machinations of his court and time with his sister. Months without Nunnally might not have been as bad as seven years apart, but Suzaku could tell that something in Lelouch was fraying at the edges. The two of them would have to think up another solution to the problem, but that would wait until they got back from Japan.

After all, none of the nobles would dare suggest that the emperor miss his own sister’s wedding and coronation as empress consort, not when Japan was their ally.

A month with Nunnally might not heal all ills, but it would make inroads on whatever stress that Lelouch was bottling up.

“Did you see the flags?”

“Hm?” Suzaku was pulled out of his thoughts by that question.

He raised himself up onto one elbow, turning his head to kiss Lelouch’s palm as it slid out of his hair. He caught the edge of a smile from Lelouch, then Lelouch was rolling under him.

It was easy to brace himself partially on top of Lelouch, Suzaku holding his position patiently as Lelouch reached up to grab something from his cape. Suzaku leaned back slightly to allow Lelouch the room to maneuver, waiting patiently for Lelouch to be done.

Suzaku wasn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t to be handed the broach that he’d undone minutes before. Suzaku shifted so he could take it from Lelouch.

He had originally thought that it was the one that Lelouch had always closed his cape with, the traditional crowned lion and snake. To his surprise he couldn’t see either the snake or the lion and it took him longer to realize that Marianne’s lightning bolt was still there. The lightning bolt had been twisted into something else, Suzaku tracing the new bird-like shape. His fingers strayed off one of the wings of the shape and onto the wing of the phoenix taking flight.

Suzaku took a deep breath and sat back on his heels, staring at the broach. Some part of his mind noticed that neither the bird-shape nor the phoenix were bigger than each other, a perfect balance between the two. But most of his attention was on the fact that Lelouch had put their two sigils together and he must have done it as soon as he had gotten back to Pendragon at the latest, because the level of craftsmanship was amazing.

He lifted the broach slightly, picking out the details on the phoenix. He sucked in a quick breath when he realized how the phoenix looked. “You…This was made in Japan…”

“While you were on bedrest.” Lelouch rested his hands on his stomach, refusing to meet Suzaku’s gaze. “I spent a lot of time planning and I thought that...consort doesn’t carry the same weight that emperor does, but I didn’t want us to be apart like that. I’d prefer if we were together, at least visually. I know that there are still things to work out here, but I thought that it would be better to present a unified front when we went down to Japan. It won’t matter with Kaguya and Nunnally, but it will matter with everyone else.”

Suzaku sighed and placed the broach on Lelouch’s chest. “And I thought that you’d managed to be spontaneous when you asked me. You had it all planned out.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Lelouch smiled, reaching out to run his fingers up Suzaku’s arm. “I’m too fond of feathers to leave things up to chance.”

Suzaku rolled his eyes, listening to Lelouch chuckle. He wasn’t surprised that Lelouch had had a backup plan, he should have expected it. He glanced down at the broach still resting on Lelouch’s chest before he leaned down. He didn’t have to go far, Lelouch pushing up to meet him halfway.

He smiled into the kiss, lowering himself back down onto Lelouch. Lelouch’s hand slipped into his hair, holding him in place just as much as the arm that Lelouch wrapped around his waist, but Suzaku had no intention of leaving. He was more than content to remain, wrapped in Lelouch’s embrace.

END


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